SCP-4723

Link to article: SCP-4723.

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[[size 125%]]**Item #:** SCP-4723[[/size]]
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[[size 125%]]###990000|**Level 2/4723**##[[/size]]
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[[size 125%]]**Object Class:** Euclid[[/size]]
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[[size 125%]]###990000|**Classified**##[[/size]]
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[[size 125%]] **Special Containment Procedures:** [[/size]]

SCP-4723 instances are to be contained in a large containment chamber at Site-409. Standard amenities will be provided, but additional furniture may be requested at the discretion of the lead researcher. SCP-4723-A, against common procedure, will be contained in the same chamber as the aforementioned SCP-4723 instances. STF Koppa-23 ("Jungle Boogie") is to be assigned to cleanup duty of the SCP-4723 instances.
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[[size 125%]] **Description:** [[/size]]

SCP-4723 is the designation for six domesticated //Felis catus// housepets. When directly viewed by any human being, the SCP-4723 instances will appear to be human males in business suits. However, this effect is not present with 64-year-old Marianne Baker (designated SCP-4723-A), the owner of the SCP-4723 instances. The SCP-4723 instances refer to themselves as humans and identify themselves by name; they also have refused to speak to Foundation personnel, claiming "Ma Baker didn't raise us to be snitches." Through cross-testing with SCP-4723-A and monitored conversations between the SCP-4723 instances, an identity chart has been compiled between breed and identified names.

||~ DESIGNATION ||~ BREED ||~ IDENTFIES AS ||
|| 4723-1 || Persian Longhair || Lawrence Nimitz ||
|| 4723-2 || Russian Blue || Alexei Tzyosorov ||
|| 4723-3 || Somali Cat || Jim Scott ||
|| 4723-4 || American Wirehair ||Harry Coydell  ||
|| 4723-5 || Turkish Van || David Gafver ||
|| 4723-6 || Siamese Cat || Adlai Williams ||
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[[size 125%]] **Item History:** [[/size]]

 SCP-4723 was discovered on 3/28/2019 when the instances robbed the Nash County Bank. According to eyewitness testimony, the instances arrived - armed with compact handguns and explosives - and proceeded to threaten the employees into handing them the bank's money reserves. A bank guard fired his weapon at the instances, and despite multiple witness accounts that he was aiming directly at the group, all of his shots hit the wall behind them. He then attempted to jump and tackle one of the instances, which resulted in him phasing through the illusion and knocking himself out. This phasing was witnessed again after one of the instances walked under a waist-high swing door. After coercing the bank manager to open the vault, the instances proceeded to place approximately $570,000 in several burlap bags and left, leaving behind their weapons and a "calling card" at the scene. The card has been transcribed below for access.

> yuo're moneyy is gone
>
> - the cklowdr

After investigators reviewed the security cameras and discovered footage of housecats with handguns in their mouths in contrast to the witness reports, the Foundation was notified. Through bill number tracing and CC footage of other neighboring stores, SCP-4723 was traced to the residence of SCP-4723-A - a known film collector and former convict[[footnote]]Charged for two counts of armed robbery.[[/footnote]] - on 4/4. During the subsequent Foundation apprehension, the anomalous properties of the SCP-4723 instances were discovered.
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[[size 125%]] **Addendum 01:** Initial Containment Monitoring Log[[/size]]
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> <//The SCP-4723 instances are silent for approx. 10 minutes.//>
> 
> **4723-3:** When do you think we'll get a lawyer?
> 
> **4723-5:** Police stations are a lot fuckin different than in the movies.
> 
> **4723-2:** I told you it would be like how it happened for the dogs.
> 
> **4723-1:** Oh, shut up, all of you. They're probably recording us right now.
> 
> **4723-6:** You want us to can it? You're the one who came up with the fucking country codenames, smartass.
> 
> **4723-3:** When do you think they'll let us out?
> 
> **4723-6:** What are you, huh, cracking like an egg? Got a little yolk spilling out?
> 
> **4723-4:** All this bickering is getting us nowhere. We're supposed to be professionals.
> 
> **4723-2:** You four is like little birds, picking at one piece of bread. Very unprofessional, da.
> 
> **4723-6:** Look at you two, so high and mighty. You two have always been Ma's favorite.
> 
> **4723-4:** The fuck you mean? All you do is sit on your fucking ass, getting fat and eating that expensive-as-fuck Fancy Feast shit. It's not like you do anything to be liked for.
> 
> **4723-6:** I'm going to put my claws up your balls if you keep fucking talking.
> 
> **4723-3:** Oh, guys, come on, we don't need to fi-
> 
> **4723-4:** Shut up.
> 
> **4723-6:** Fuck off, pussy.
> 
> **4723-5:** Can it, fucker.
> 
> **4723-2:** I want to see fight. After all, if he puts claws up his balls, he will not have any voice to scream once I turn him inside out.
> 
> <//Instances -6 and -2 start to fight. -3 moves to the corner of the chamber.//>
> 
> **4723-5:** You assholes were going to start without me?
> 
> <//-5 joins in the fight, attacking both -6 and -2. -4 joins -3 in the corner.//>
> 
> <//-1 looks back between the fight and the corner, before jumping in the fight.//>
> 
> **4723-4:** Fuckin' idiots.

Security personnel entered the chamber to stop the fight; however, it took several minutes for personnel to find the instances as they repeatedly misjudged where the instances were located. Although instances -1, -2, -5, and -6 received minor lacerations, none received any major injuries. Assignment of SCP-4723 instances to personal containment chambers is pending.
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SCP-4723

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