SCP-4747

Link to article: SCP-4747.

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> +++ //Excerpt from '11 Ways to Spruce Up that Marriage'//
> 
> "... now, of course, you're gonna want to make sure you don't have any children, unless the child is your problem. In that case, it'll clean it right up in no time."
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Check out more of my articles [[[uraniumempire|here!]]]
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**Item #:** SCP-4747

**Object Class:** Euclid

**Special Containment Procedures:** Foundation webcrawler ƟU-4747 is to locate and remove instances of SCP-4747. Persons responsible for its spread are to be treated with Class B amnestics. Couples that have successfully performed SCP-4747 are to be treated with Class A amnestics.

Mobile Task Force Theta-6 ("Witch Hunters") is to capture and incinerate instances of SCP-4747-1. A single instance is kept for long-term study in Site 56, and is to be contained in a Type-B reinforced containment chamber.

**Description:** SCP-4747 is a document detailing a ritual intended to resolve relationship conflicts. Copies of SCP-4747 are shared primarily through sites such as Facebook and Reddit. SCP-4747 can be performed on a budget of under 100 USD.

SCP-4747 takes a single day to perform, and requires the following:
* At least two participants, all of which must be in a romantic relationship with one another, who have not performed SCP-4747 previously.
* 1 meter^^3^^ of wood.
* 100 grams of grape jelly.
* 6 candles per participant.
* 1 kilogram of human hair.
* A hole, at least █.█ meters deep and █.█ meters wide.
* [REDACTED]

On a successful performance of SCP-4747, an instance of SCP-4747-1 will emerge from the hole used in the ritual. SCP-4747-1 is an animate mass of human limbs and hair, approximately 1.5 meters in diameter. All instances of SCP-4747-1 are hostile towards humans, with the exception of individuals who have performed SCP-4747. Examination of SCP-4747-1 indicates that instances are genetically identical to the executor of Step 7.

Couples that perform SCP-4747 report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Long-term observation suggests lower levels of separation and future conflicts in such couples.
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