Link to article: SCP-4922.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item #:** SCP-4922 **Object Class:** Keter **Special Containment Procedures:** Four instances of SCP-4922 have been contained at Site-59's maximum security wing. Each cell has been fitted with a Naismith-Henderson Lambda Wave Sink[[footnote]] A device reverse-engineered from the mucus of [[[SCP-2803]]]-A to attract and suppress lambda wave transmissions [[/footnote]]; these are to remain operational at all times, with at least three backup power sources. In the event of total containment failure, contingency 99-Sutekh is to be enacted at the discretion of Director Naismith. All other instances encountered outside of containment are to be summarily destroyed with sustained heavy machine gun fire. **Description:** SCP-4922 designates a series of hostile synthetic military constructs that are believed to be extradimensional in origin. Instances vary in appearance, but maintain the following common traits: * A monochromatic white color scheme, * Primary composition is of an as-of-yet unidentified ballistics-grade material that bears the characteristics of steel, plastic, and felt, * Speech capabilities, and * An insignia of [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2578 three crescent moons]. In addition, the majority of SCP-4922 instances encountered have possessed non-functional eyes, limbs, and other design features. The most common design of SCP-4922 is that of a humanoid soldier 1.5 meters in height with exaggerated facial features. ++ SCP-4922 Instances Currently In Containment: ||~ Number ||~ Description ||~ Status || || SCP-4922-5 || Beaked humanoid entity, 3m in height, wears body armor. Answers to the name "Bigger Bird." || Contained. || || SCP-4922-17 || Humanoid entity, 1.5m in height, wears body armor. Answers to the name "Phil." || Contained. || || SCP-4922-20 || Quadrupedal equine entity, 2m in height. Answers to the name "Boss Hoss." || Contained. || || SCP-4922-47 || Humanoid entity identical to SCP-4922-17. Answers to the name "Philippe." Speaks English in an exaggerated, stereotypical French accent. || Contained. || || SCP-4922-4 || Small, vaguely humanoid entity 1m in height, unarmored. Answers to the name "Wilkins." A resemblance to a commercial character of the same name[[footnote]] Wilkins was a puppet created by Jim Henson for Wilkins Coffee commercials between 1957 and 1961, infamous for their use of abrupt comic violence. [[/footnote]] has been noted. || [4/4922 CLEARANCE REQUIRED] || The whimsical designs, combined with the fact that the drones' manners of speech have individual personalities and dialects, give the impression that SCP-4922 is some manner of weaponized puppet. This is believed to be an aesthetic design choice, as it serves no functional purpose in combat. Instances of SCP-4922 display extraordinary combat abilities, hidden bladed weapons, high-energy plasma weapons systems, and proficiency with firearms and unarmed combat, as well as a regenerative factor from damage taken in battle. Sustained heavy machine gun fire is the only known method of terminating SCP-4922. In addition, instances' can be rendered temporarily immobile through the inhibition of nearby lambda waves[[footnote]] Specialized telepathic energy, first discovered during experiments with SCP-████ [[/footnote]]. SCP-4922 is most often encountered in populated areas, carrying out extrajudicial termination of, as labeled by SCP-4922-17, "Class M Damnation Candidates." Confirmed deaths caused by SCP-4922 have included, but are not limited to: * Chaos Insurgency operatives, * serial rapists, * leaders in the neo-nazi community and similar organizations, * members of the now-defunct GoI-24174 "Daughters of Bogal Mountain", * members of the now-defunct [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2427 Brazen Heart], and * at least 15 male okapi //(Okapia johnstoni)//[[footnote]] Context unknown; SCP-4922-17 claimed "they know damn well what they did." [[/footnote]]. It is believed that SCP-4922 operates as a force of assassins under the same extradimensional authority as SCP-2578, [[[SCP-3922]]], and other objects with the same three-crescent insignia. [[collapsible show="+ 4/4922 Clearance Required" hide="- encryption key accepted."]] > **Date:** 5/19/2018 > **Interviewer:** Dr. Craig Paulsen > **Interviewed:** SCP-4922-4 > > <Begin Log> > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Good morning, SCP-4922-4, I hope you're feeling-- > > **SCP-4922-4:** Lemme outta these restraints! My coffee's innocent, test the DNA! > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Um, right. You seem to have an insignia of three crescent moons on your chest. > > **SCP-4922-4:** That's right, but you know what I don't have? A nice, hot, refreshing cup of Wilk-- > > **Dr. Paulsen:** What is your connection to the Three Moons Initiative? > > **SCP-4922-4:** ...huh. Well, looks like you've been doin' your homework. I guess the coffee schtick ain't gonna hold up for much longer, is it? > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Please answer the question. > > **SCP-4922-4:** Right, right. Okay, so: I'm one of their drones, I work for the psychotronics division, they send us over from [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2922 the other side] because only inorganic matter can break outta Corbenic, and the Master controls my every move. > > **Dr. Paulsen:** If you're a drone, what purpose does your personality serve? > > **SCP-4922-4:** Now, that's just rude. The Master controls all [REDACTED] of us at once from a chemical sarcophagus, and he doesn't get another vacation for at least a century. He takes whatever playtime he can get. > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Who is this "Master?" > > **SCP-4922-4:** Would you like to talk to him? 'Cause I don't know how much I'm allowed say in my own voice. > > **Dr. Paulsen:** May I? > > [ SCP-4922-4 falls limp in its restraints, remaining unresponsive for five seconds. A male voice (heretofore PoI-4922-Prime) emanates from its body. ] > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Might this be Dr. Craig Paulsen? > > **Dr. Paulsen:** ...um, right. To whom am I speaking? > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Colonel James Henson, Three Moons Initiative Humanity Defense Corps, Psychotronics Division, you-are-watched-you-are-protected-you-are-loved-yadda-yadda-yadda -- at your service. > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Wait, Henson? As in, Jim-- > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Only the pinko from 2N goes by Jim. I'm James, from Earth, Multiversal Iteration 2L. So, lemme guess - next question, 'why are you a killer?' > > **Dr. Paulsen:** There wouldn't have been name-calling involved, but I would like to understand your motivation. > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Nah, you can say it, I'm a killer. Never wanted to be one, but that's my job, and I'm proud. Like my 2N counterpart, I knew that puppets could entertain people of all ages. That they could teach. > > Then... well, back in '89, the whole earth was gonna go up in flames from some alien invasion, so [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3319 the Lotus] took our planet into Corbenic. Second Harvesting War... > > [Approx. 10 seconds of silence.] > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Sir? > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** What, you think you're gonna hear a detailed play-by-play of the worst 40 years of my life?! It's been 573 years, but it's still too goddamn soon. JALAKÅRA knows my mind’s only a fraction of what it was from the acid. > > **Dr. Paulsen:** Perhaps just the Cliffs Notes. > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** A 10,000-meter-tall Witch-Queen ate me with a fistful of other humans, digested me, shat me out with the rest, and told me to come back again sometime when I got some better seasoning. > > You can call it Corbenic all you want, but it's hell, and everybody - good, bad, whatever - goes to the same hell. Three Moons are the only people looking out for the little guy in all the sand, blood, and teeth. I wanted to help them do that, and if helping them means helping their divine intervention and/or secret police BS, then so be it. > > They saw use in my puppetry for defending the colonies. They saw a big enough imagination for the psychotronics division to weaponize. So that's when I made the logical next step in all this. I spent my time among the living touching the hearts of good people. > > **Dr. Paulsen:** And now you can terrify the hearts of evil people. > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Bingo. Look, Dr. Paulsen - between you and I, your Foundation's going down the toilet. But I've been watching your actions through this puppet for a while. The boys in psychotronics R&D could use a bright mind like yours. Whaddaya say? Pay's better. You get a free vacation decade when you sign up. And your mom misses you! > > **Dr. Paulsen:** My mother is dead. > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Eeee-xactly. How about it? > > **Dr. Paulsen:** No, thank you. > > **PoI-4922-Prime:** Still not convinced, huh? How about I take you on a tour of the place? > > [ SCP-4922-Prime self-destructs, killing Dr. Paulsen in the explosion. ] > > <End Log> [[/collapsible]] [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-4921]]] | SCP-4922 | [[[SCP-4923]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]