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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item#:** SCP-5188 **Object Class:** Euclid **Special Containment Procedures:** Foundation agents in all major television networks are to monitor for SCP-5188 and prevent any broadcasts before they reach civilian audiences. While the danger to civilians presented by SCP-5188 is negligible, public acknowledgement of its anomalous qualities would lead to a potential Lifted Veil scenario. For research purposes, one television at Site-59 is to receive and record uninhibited broadcasts of SCP-5188. Transcription efforts by research staff are ongoing. [[[SCP-2803]]]-A is not to be made aware of Foundation suppression efforts for SCP-5188 under any circumstances. In addition, SCP-2803-A is to receive a monthly supply of forged fan mail for SCP-5188 and a "royalty payment" consisting two kilograms of a 50/50 blend of sand and pink glitter. [[footnote]] Due to misinformation protocols, SCP-2803-A is under the belief that this substance is called "royal sturple" and is the most precious form of human currency, reserved only for a handful of social elites. [[/footnote]] **Description:** SCP-5188 is "Fronglyfoot Street", an animated[[footnote]] It should be noted that the "true" iteration, SCP-5188-Gamma, is live-action. [[/footnote]] situation comedy produced by TotleighSoft corporation. Episodes are 22 minutes long; at time of writing, 108 episodes and nine seasons have been recorded at Site-59. SCP-5188 makes use of TotleighSoft's signature "Snoflak-o-Vizhon", a perception-altering technique that tailors the show's content to match each viewer's personal preferences for entertainment. Despite the claim that "no two [people] will see the [same show]",[[footnote]] Approximation from a //TV Guide// advertisement; original text was spelled too poorly to be precisely identified. [[/footnote]] identical transcriptions of SCP-5188 between similarly-minded researchers have been noted. Currently, the highest number of recorded variants to an individual episode (including SCP-5188-Gamma) is 57. The show centers around the Fronglyfoots, a family consisting of the male protagonist, his wife, their precocious two-year-old daughter, and a dog. All other factors (such as the characters' names, occupations, location, financial class, supporting characters, and whether or not the dog is capable of speech) depend on the individual iteration. In addition, viewers who possess a nerve bundle [http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2998 previously identified] as a "Rosetta cluster" will be immune to the perception-altering effects; the resulting show will be SCP-5188-Gamma. +++ Addendum: Transcription Excerpt from Season 4, Episode 11, Scene 1 [[tabview]] [[tab SCP-5188-12]] **Transcriber:** Junior Researcher N. Tamino **Rating:** TV-PG **Main Character Ethnicities:** African-American **Setting:** Eugene, Oregon **Episode Title:** Micro Brewing for Dummies <Begin Log> [[span style="font-family: Courier"]] INT. FRONGLYFOOT RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM - DAY Nina^^[Wife]^^ is vacuuming. Auggie^^[Daughter]^^ is playing chess with Pascal^^[Dog, St. Bernard]^^. Auggie moves a piece. [[=]] AUGGIE Check. HA! What say you to such strategic brilliance, Phillistine?! [[/=]] Pascal yawns and falls asleep on the board. [[=]] AUGGIE Fool! You're no Alexander, and this is no Gordian Knot. Up with you, beast! [[/=]] Auggie attempts to pry Pascal from the board. He sleepily places a paw on top of Auggie's head. [[=]] AUGGIE //(Sarcastic)// Ye gods, such brilliance. [[/=]] Bob^^[Husband]^^ enters the front door, sweating and flustered. [[=]] NINA Bob! BOB Oh, hey Nina. Wanna hear a joke? NINA How about first you tell me where you've been. BOB It's related. What's vinyl-sided, rectangular, and filled with 50 cases of concord grapes for no reason? NINA What? BOB //(Smiling nervously)// ...NOT our garage. [[/=]] Nina crosses her arms and glares. Awkward silence. [[=]] BOB ...anyway, do you know a place where I can get some brewer's yeast in bulk? NINA You're grounded. BOB Hey, now. I'm thirty-five, you can't ground me! I drive a Mercedes! NINA Where's the Mercedes? BOB ...under the grapes. I'll be in my room. [[/=]] Bob goes up the stairs. [[=]] AUGGIE Guess I'd better not tell her about my lemon stash! [[/=]] [[/span]] <End Log> [[/tab]] [[tab SCP-5188-23]] **Transcriber:** Junior Researcher L. Matapang **Rating:** TV-MA **Main Character Ethnicities:** Anthropomorphic lizards **Setting:** Unnamed Trailer Park, Louisiana **Episode Title:** Nice Melons <Begin Log> [[span style="font-family: Courier"]] INT. FRONGLYFOOT TRAILER, CENTRAL AREA - NIGHT Lucinda^^[Wife]^^ is playing Russian roulette while sobbing. Meat^^[Daughter]^^ lays out a chess board before Wristopher Calken,^^[Dog, Borzoi]^^ who is convulsing and foaming at the mouth. [[=]] MEAT Awright, we doin' this? We doin' this. WRISTOPHER Meat, I need you to call 911. MEAT That's not how ya play. Ya gotta move the pieces around 'n' say "king me" 'n' shit. WRISTOPHER No, seriously I just dropped a gallon of Forty Sauce and I'm dying. Call an ambulance. //Now.// MEAT The fuck's Forty Sauce? WRISTOPHER Olde English and WD. [[/=]] Meat picks up the chessboard and leaves. [[=]] MEAT ...yeah, you too dumb for this game. I'mma go get Mousetrap or summat. [[/=]] Scott^^[Husband]^^ enters the front door, whistling the Soviet national anthem. [[=]] SCOTT Okay, y'all know that gun ain't loaded, right? LUCINDA Just let me have this. SCOTT 'kay, cool. So, like, guess who just bought 5,000 watermelons? LUCINDA //(sarcastic)// Wow. I don't know. Who. SCOTT //(pointing to self)// THIS GUY! LUCINDA Oh my god. I'm shocked. Why would you buy 5,000 watermelons. SCOTT Your dad's inheritance had to go somewhere. I'mma go throw 'em at God now for cursing me with existence. LUCINDA Aim for the giant eyeball on his crotch. SCOTT Oh, is that his weak point? Thanks, wifey! [[/=]] Scott leaves. [[=]] WRISTOPHER Tera Patrick, into your arms, I commence my soul... [[/=]] [[/span]] <End log> [[/tab]] [[tab SCP-5188-Gamma]] **Transcriber:** Junior Researcher E. Gualtieri (Note: has a Rosetta cluster) **Rating:** Unrated **Main Character Ethnicities:** Ambiguous from decomposition **Setting:** A derelict conference room of the SCP-2803 compound. **Episode Title:** "Friut"^^[sp]^^ <Begin Log> [[span style="font-family: Courier"]] INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY The room is covered in a yellow gelatinous substance that has crystallized. "Concubine"^^[Wife]^^, a deceased office worker, dangles limply from the ceiling, attached by the top of her head to a tendril belonging to SCP-2803-A. She bounces up and down, speaking through unknown means. [[=]] CONCUBINE I am doing a thing. I am doing a thing. Witness me doing this thing. [[/=]] "Offspring"^^[Daughter]^^, a small humanoid effigy made out of staplers, a disembodied cardiovascular system, and crystallized biofilm, dangles from a similar tendril toward "Vassal"^^[Dog, (n/a)]^^. Vassal is another dangling effigy - quadrupedal, and made from bones and computer keyboards. (note: all characters speak in the same voice. The currently speaking character is indicated by shaking and flailing.) [[=]] OFFSPRING We will partake in brief enjoyment. VASSAL My refusal extrudes from my mouth and slathers negation upon your ears. OFFSPRING You are without permission! [[/=]] Vassal is dragged back and forth throughout the room, screeching. [[=]] OFFSPRING I hope you did not enjoy your petulance. [[/=]] LORD^^[Husband]^^ enters the room. He is the former executive of the SCP-2803 compound, impaled on one of SCP-2803-A's tendrils like a finger puppet. [[=]] CONCUBINE Lord! We welcome you ambiguously. LORD Be silent! CONCUBINE I am disobedient. LORD Indeed. I have acquired the fruiting bodies. CONCUBINE For what purpose? You are well aware that fruiting bodies do not belong in the implied counting-house. LORD My ignorance is a shining, bulbous gonad. It must be rubbed with folly over and over until the climaxing waves of character development wash over the area, sink, and disappear as if they never existed. For this is what reaps the royal sturple from the consumer and thus unto our God. CONCUBINE I tremble from how correct you are. May your ignorance vibrate for eternity, and may my indignace undulate in kind! LORD I must go, for my lucrative stupidity cannot reach its peak among this scenery in particular. [[/=]] Lord leaves. Offspring and Vassal loudly vomit a thick black organic syrup onto the floor. [[/span]] <End log> [[/tab]] [[/tabview]] [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-5187]]] | SCP-5188 | [[[SCP-5189]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]