Link to article: SCP-5678-J.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item #:** SCP-5678-J **Object Class:** Euclid (Pending Keter Classification by Overworked Researchers) **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-5678-J is currently uncontainable, despite multiple attempts to neutralize it with various ailments such as tea, extended weekend policies, and denial. Mobile Task Force Beta-9 (“Sunday Scaries”) is assigned to tracking SCP-5678-J outbreaks and mitigating effects through controlled application of blankets, comfort shows, and willful ignorance. Under no circumstances should personnel mention the phrase “back to work tomorrow” or “school starts at 8AM” within a 10-meter radius of an affected individual, as this greatly amplifies SCP-5678-J’s anomalous effects. Personnel exhibiting signs of acute SCP-5678-J exposure are to be placed in a dimly lit room with calming music of the individual's choice, and mild procrastination activities until symptoms subside. **Description:** SCP-5678-J is an anomalous phenomenon that manifests worldwide every Sunday, typically between 4:00 PM and 9:30 PM local time. Affected individuals report an overwhelming, inexplicable sense that Sunday is no longer Sunday but, in fact, some kind of temporal anomaly where it feels like Monday already exists in a quantum superposition of impending doom. The exact moment of manifestation varies, but exposure is almost universal and unavoidable. Symptoms of SCP-5678-J include a growing, gnawing sensation of being overworked despite having accomplished nothing all weekend, the uncanny ability to predict and see upcoming emails materializing in inboxes despite all devices being off, and the perception of time accelerating unnaturally, where 5:00 PM warps directly into 11:59 PM within minutes. Affected individuals may also experience an existential crisis regarding life choices, career paths, and whether or not it’s too late to become a "goat farmer in the Swiss Alps". Theories suggest SCP-5678-J is a memetic hazard spread through collective human experience, reinforced by outdated societal structures and a general distaste for responsibility. Attempts to counteract SCP-5678-J through extended weekends have resulted in the emergence of SCP-5678-J-2 (The Tuesday Terror), which is classified as equally, if not more, distressing. **Addendum 5678-J-2:** Discovery SCP-5678-J has likely existed for centuries, but was first formally reported in 1984 when an unnamed researcher submitted an SCP entry titled “WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE MONDAY BUT ITS NOT?” written entirely in caps lock. Despite being discarded as “not anomalous, just depressing,” subsequent reports confirmed its widespread existence. Attempts to neutralize SCP-5678-J have included shifting the workweek forward, creating SCP-5678-J-3 (“Oh No, It’s Saturday and Monday is Closer Than It Should Be”). Large-scale application of naps has only resulted in time skipping forward and increased dread. Theoretical destruction of Mondays paradoxically creates an infinite Sunday, where nothing gets done but the anxiety remains. **Addendum 5678-J-2:** Following Incident 5678-J-17, in which an attempt to eradicate SCP-5678-J caused global temporal instability (designated the “Weekendless Catastrophe”), all further testing has been postponed indefinitely. Personnel are advised to simply “suck it up” and pretend it doesn’t exist, as is tradition. **Note from Dr. Reynolds:** > You know what? Maybe we should just classify this as a Keter-level existential threat and call it a day. Shit, I'll do it later, its a fucking Saturday! [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]