SCP-5980

Link to article: SCP-5980.
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[[include component:image-block
    name=Ethan|
    caption=SCP-5980 prior to containment.
]]

**Item #:** SCP-5980

**Object Class:** Euclid

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-5980 is to be contained within a standard humanoid containment cell at Site 83. SCP-5980 does not require sustenance. SCP-5980 is allowed outside of its containment cell once per day for two hours for recreational activities, but is strictly prohibited from entering the cafeteria. 

Food offered by SCP-5980 should be declined by personnel in order to maintain their mental health.

**Description:** SCP-5980 is the designation given to Ethan Chin, age 33. 

SCP-5980 is capable of perfect cellular regeneration and is, by definition, biologically immortal. Given the regenerative properties of SCP-5980's cells, research into utilizing SCP-5980 for medicinal treatment is currently underway.

Extensive testing of samples taken from SCP-5980's body has revealed that its skin, as well as its organs, nerves, and fingernails, possess a flavour that is universally enjoyed by those that consume it. The flavor of SCP-5980 will vary depending on the consumer. SCP-5980 exhibits a pleasant aroma regardless of the seasoning it's cooked with.

SCP-5980 is amicable and will often encourage Foundation personnel to "have a bite" of it when they pass by. It is important to note that SCP-5980 does not exhibit any  cognitohazardous properties.

Consumption of SCP-5980, while safe, is often detrimental to a subject's mental health. 

**Discovery:**

SCP-5980 was discovered after several complaints were made in an establishment called Cannibal Chin's in northern New Jersey. A food critic claimed to have witnessed SCP-5980 remove its fingers with a kitchen knife before deep-frying them. These were later served as french fries. Several other civilians claimed to have caught glimpses of SCP-5980 self-mutilating in the kitchen moments before serving them food, and a Foundation investigation was instigated.

When questioned, SCP-5980 claimed to have no idea what it was doing wrong, and insisted that Foundation operatives have a complementary order off of the menu. Its requests were denied by all attending agents except for Agent ██████. Agent ██████, who was unaware of SCP-5980's anomalous properties, consumed the entirety of an order of fries, sized large, dipping each fry in a dark green milkshake. Agent ██████ was psychologically evaluated and later requested an amnestic, and for his name to be expunged from the official record.

SCP-5980 willingly came into Foundation custody once apprehended.

> Cannibal Chin's was shut down using [[[SCP-4670|Cover Story 14 ("Health and Safety Violation")]]] after four years of continuous operation.

**Interview 5980.4:**

> **Interviewer:** Dr. Owen Andrews
> 
> **Interviewee:** SCP-5980
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** Tell me again what you were doing at the restaurant.
> 
> **SCP-5980:** Growing food gets expensive, like, the costs was wayyy too steep man. I wish it 'didn't have to be that way, but when life gives ya lemons.
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** Right, of course.
> 
> **SCP-5980:** Didja try the Finger Fries?
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** I'm afraid not.
> 
> //SCP-5980 holds out a finger.//
> 
> **SCP-5980:** Tastes jus like chicken, I swear. Mmm mmm mmm! Have a bite, it doesn't hurt.
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** Umm... Noo... Thanks? I had something to eat already.
> 
> **SCP-5980:** Suit yourself, man. You're missing out.
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** How exactly did you make the items on the menu?
> 
> **SCP-5980:** Oh, that's easy. I crank up the heat real high if the water's running low, and I keep all my [[[SCP-5918|spare meat n' shit]]] in the cooler. God, I think I'd die if I made every order at once.
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** And what did people say to you when they found out that //you// were the source of their meals?
> 
> **SCP-5980:** Eh, forget about it. I didn't do nothing wrong. They're just a bunch of unappreciative bastards is all.
> 
> **Dr. Andrews:** That'll be all for now.

**Addendum 5980.3:**

The following is a list of items found on the menu of Cannibal Chin's.

> **Meatburger | Sm - 4.65 | Md 5.96 | Lg 7.82**
> **Finger Fries | Sm - 1.99 | Md - 2.99 | Lg 3.99**
> **Lemonade | 3.99**
> **Chin's special chocolate | 5.00**
> **Water | Free**
> **Inside-Out Milkshake | Sm 3.99 | Md 4.99 | Lg 5.99**
> - Available in Chocolate, Mint, Vanilla and Strawberry

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