SCP-6913

Link to article: SCP-6913.

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**[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/grigori-karpin-s-author-page More by this author]**
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:cd-ver2
|lv=2
|item=SCP-6913
|class=Keter
|site-responsible=Site-19
|director=Tilda Moose
|research-head=Janice Werther 
|assigned-task-force=MTF-Gamma-5
]]


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**__Special Containment Procedures__**:
SCP-6913 must be held in human hands at all times.  Medical treatment is to be made immediately available to all subjects currently holding SCP-6913.  Security is advised to keep subjects holding SCP-6913 semi-isolated, within the confines of their duties.

All able-bodied personnel at Site-19 must be on a daily rotating roster for holding SCP-6913.  If the subject holding SCP-6913 is incapacitated such that they cannot hold onto the object, the nearest member of staff must seize the object as soon as possible.  This takes precedence over emergencies, even including securing medical aid for the subject previously holding SCP-6913.

Testing with SCP-6913 is encouraged, as long as the object is being held in human hands.  Utilization of SCP-6913 as a drinking vessel is approved.





**__Description__**:
SCP-6913 is a hyper-probability class anomaly in the form of a coffee mug.  On the surface of the mug the words “MISTACHES! MESSTAKES! MISTEAKS!!” are printed.  Any individual who holds the anomaly will experience such a high probability of accidental death, grievous bodily harm, or social ostracization due to embarrassment that such events are 99.99% likely to occur once within a twenty-four-hour period. 

If the object is not held by human hands for longer than three hundred and sixty seconds, a CK-Class “end of the world” scenario will be triggered that will lead to the extinction of the human race.  

**__Addendum 6913-1__**:
The following are a series of tests performed with SCP-6913.

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**Test-6913-01**: D-1758 is to hold SCP-6913 for a period of no less than twenty-four hours.

**Observations**: Subject holds the object for three hours, forty-five minutes while in their cell before event occurs.  At exactly 12:00, during the scheduled lunch period for D-class, D-1758 drops their tray of food then steps in the mashed potatoes resulting in a fall.  In the process of the fall, the plastic tray upends, and the edge collides with subject’s throat.  A sixteen-centimeter wound opens, severing the aortic artery.

**Results of test**: Death by exsanguination.
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**Test-6913-07**: Researcher Baker of the Memetics Department is to hold SCP-6913 for a period of no less than twenty-four hours.

**Observations**: Seven hours into the test, subject is sitting at her desk in Memetics Lab A, Site-19.  The subject noticeably shivers and wraps her arms around herself.[[footnote]]Internal records reflect that the environmental controls began malfunctioning and lowered the temperature of the lab to 10 degrees Celsius.[[/footnote]]  In the process of wrapping her arms around herself, subject drops SCP-6913.  Subject bends down to pick up the object, bracing one hand on the desk as she reaches to retrieve the anomaly.  Her fingers on the bracing hand brush the keyboard, initiating a Site-wide email alert, sending the contents of subject’s browsing history and several files.

**Results of test**: Researcher Baker was mandated no less than six visits with a security-cleared on-Site psychologist, with an assessment of fitness for duty at the close of the sixth session.  The recipients of Researcher Baker’s email were offered optional amnestics.
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**Test-6913-11**: D-2563 is to hold SCP-6913 for no less than twenty-four hours.  In hopes of avoiding further injury, subject is dressed in bomb disposal padded armor and housed within a padded cell lacking any sharp corners or edges.

**Observations**: At fourteen hours, subject requests adhesive tape so that she can affix the cup to her hand while she rests.  The tape is transferred to subject through a padded drop box. Subject begins wrapping tape around her hand holding SCP-6913.  Lacking cutting instruments, subject bends to tear the tape with her teeth and in so doing, slips.  SCP-6913, still held in her hand, impacts subject on the bridge of her nose. Subject falls to the floor of the cell from impact, and in flailing, strikes herself in the mouth with SCP-6913.

**Results of test**: D-2563 broke three teeth, her nose and right occipital orbit requiring three hours of surgery.
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**Research Strategy Meeting**
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**Personnel Present**: Researcher Janice Werther, Dr. Gwendoline Xiao[[footnote]]Ethics Committee Representative for Site-19.[[/footnote]]

**Foreword**: Werther and Xiao are observing during Test-6913-17, which involved a D-class performing cleaning activities while holding SCP-6913 to gauge its effect on coordination while using tools.
-----

**Werther**: See, I think this might be the secret, if the subject is limited to simple menial work the risk is a lot less active.

**Xiao**: Correct me if I’m wrong, but has a single day gone by since this anomaly was contained where someone wasn’t maimed, killed, or horribly embarrassed?

**Werther**: Well… no.

**Xiao**: Then what is the purpose of these tests?  Shouldn’t we be trying to limit the potential for heinous injury and leave it at that?

**Werther**: If someone needs to be holding it all the time anyway, we may as well study the way the anomaly works, right?

**Xiao**: Actually, I was reviewing the file and... why does someone need to hold it all the time?

**Werther**: Are you joking?

**Xiao**: No, seriously, why not just put it in a box somewhere?

**Werther**: Because the world would end and all of humanity would die horrible deaths.

**Xiao**: Would it?  Where are you getting that?

**Werther**: Just look at it, Gwen!

//[Xiao bends and looks closely at the display monitor, using the controls to zoom in on the D-class personnel’s hand holding SCP-6913.]//

//[The D-Class starts whistling and swaying with the mop he is holding, pretending like it is a microphone stand as he begins to sing “All Along The Watchtower” by Bob Dylan.  The D-Class drops SCP-6913, it bounces off the floor, and he scrambles after it in a frantic fashion.  Finally, the D-Class is able to secure the anomaly and he collapses, breathing hard.]//

//[Xiao watches the entire scene on the monitor and then backs away, shaking visibly.]//

**Xiao**: I had no idea.

**Werther**:  You see now why we have to take this threat so seriously?

**Xiao**: I do.  You’ll have the full support of my recommendation to the Committee.



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**__Addendum 6913-2__**:
//Continued testing records.//
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**Test-6913-21**: Dr. Senguko, head of the Biological Containment lab is to hold SCP-6913 for no less than twenty-four hours.

**Observations**: Despite intending to spend the testing period away from his duties, subject is called to the lab for a mandatory containment confirmation upon transfer of a sample of [[[SCP-610]]] biological material.[[footnote]]Subject’s retinal scan was required for the alpha priority containment procedures.[[/footnote]] At approximately fourteen hundred hours, subject confirms the delivery is in order and unlocks the containment module for the sample. Unbeknownst to subject, preliminary input keystrokes to engage retinal scan unlocks the emergency evacuation shunt within the module. When the sample is stored and the module locked, the material is evacuated from the module but instead of being redirected to the biological incinerator as programmed, the sample is rerouted to the fire-retardant systems in the lab which subsequently triggered, coating the occupants and infecting them with SCP-610.

**Results of test**: Biological Containment Lab Beta was put under immediate quarantine. Mobile Task Force Psi-9 ("Abyss Gazers") was called in to neutralize the six individuals infected by SCP-610. Our thoughts and prayers go out to their loved ones.
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**Test-6913-23**: Carlos Delcroix, security personnel at Site-19, is to hold SCP-6913 for at least twenty-four hours.

**Observations**: Subject successfully retains SCP-6913 for twenty-three hours and forty-eight minutes before event occurs. Subject walks towards the containment area to hand off the object to the next subject when containment breach alarms begin to sound.  

Subject turns a corner at full sprint and almost runs into [[[SCP-173]]] free of its containment area. In his surprise, subject drops the mug but maintains eye contact with the statue.  Subject carefully crouches to pick up SCP-6913, never breaking eye contact with SCP-173 then begins to walk backwards until his back is against a breach shelter door.  Subject frantically bangs on the door. The following audio was recorded by security cameras in the hall:
> **Delcroix**: Holy shit, lemme in!
> 
> //[Intercom buzzes.]//
> 
> **Agent Wilkins**: Delcroix is that you? The hell are you doing out during a breach.
> 
> **Delcroix**: Fucking cursed mug!
> 
> **Wilkins**: Oh shit, you have SCP-6913 today? I don’t know man. That thing is dangerous.
> 
> **Delcroix**: The fucking statue is out here now let me the fuck in!
> 
> //[Indecipherable dialogue is heard through the intercom.]//
> 
> **Delcroix**: Jesus Christ man, hurry up!
> 
> **Wilkins**: Alright, alright. Just don’t take your eyes off it.
> 
> **Delcroix**: What do you think I’m doing?!
> 
> //[The door to the shelter is opened and subject backs into the room before the door shuts again.  Faint dialogue can still be heard through the intercom which was left in transmission mode.]//
> 
> **Wilkins**: //[Laughter]// [[size smaller]]Did you shit your pants?[[/size]]

**Results of test**: Inconclusive
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**Test-6913-26**: Dr. Alto Clef will hold SCP-6913 for no less than twenty-four hours.

**Observations**: Subject took possession of SCP-6913 before immediately exclaiming the following:
> **Clef**: Like fuck I’m going to hold onto your cursed mug! The O5s can eat my entire ass if they think this is my job. My. Entire. Ass.

Unbeknownst to subject, Director Moose was observing the test and had an open line of communication with O5-2 for a status update.

**Results of test**: Dr. Clef was mandated a sixth annual consecutive sensitivity and professionalism training session. An official reprimand was entered into his personnel file and his name added to the [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/keter-duty | Keter Duty official roster]]].
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**__Addendum 6913-3__**:
Within six months of initial containment, forty-five personnel were dead, disfigured, or medically disabled due to incidents occurring while holding SCP-6913.  Concerned about the financial and personnel costs, Dr. Werther held a symposium and invited experts on alternative containment from throughout the Foundation.  It was at this symposium that Werther met Dr. [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/on-guard-43-hub | Harold Blank from Site-43]]].

Dr. Blank made a series of suggestions that led to the following updates to the Containment Procedures:

> **UPDATE 21-11-21**: SCP-6913 is to be contained at Site-43, in the sole custody of [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-lamest-story-never-told | Dr. William W. Wettle]]], who will maintain containment on his person at all times.[[footnote]]He’s barely noticed a difference – Dr. Blank[[/footnote]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box
|author=Grigori Karpin]]

=====
> **Filename:** MUG
> **Author:** Mishal Dragon
> **License:** CC BY 3.0
> **Source**: [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/grigori-karpin-s-author-page/MUG | LINK]]]
> **Additional Notes:** used with their express permission and edited by [[user Grigori Karpin]]

> **Filename:** Avalon explosion at air show
> **Author:** John
> **License:** CC BY-SA 2.0
> **Source**: [[[https://www.flickr.com/photos/shebalso/8526559324/ | LINK]]]
> **Additional Notes:** edited by [[user Grigori Karpin]]

> **Filename:** 6913 Logo
> **Author:** [[*user HarryBlank]] 
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Source Link:** [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/grigori-karpin-s-author-page/6913%20logo | Link]]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

SCP-6913

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