Link to article: SCP-700-J.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[include component:image-block |name=Negative_fortune_cookie.jpg |caption=One of SCP-700-J's predictions.]] **Item #:** SCP-700-J **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** A sample of SCP-700-J is to be opened daily by a specialized containment squad with extremely high mental fortitude, in the hopes that it will produce any remotely useful information. Staff are advised to not get their hopes up. **Description:** SCP-700-J is a plastic bag containing a seemingly unending amount of fortune cookies.[[footnote]]No, holding the bag upside down does //not// work.[[/footnote]] These fortune cookies are entirely mundane and are safe for human consumption. SCP-700-J’s primary anomalous properties are within the slips of paper contained within these fortune cookies. The information described on SCP-700-J’s slips of paper provide 100% accurate descriptions of events in the future. Unfortunately, all of this information is utterly useless and serves absolutely no purpose to any breathing human on the planet. Examples of SCP-700-J instances include: * “You will buy a new pair of pants.” * “You will be hungry again in one hour.” * “There will be a containment breach at some point.” * “Upon the next conjugation of Jupiter and Saturn, John Wilson will have a cold glass of orange juice.” * “This fortune cookie will taste about the same as all the other ones.” * “There will be light rain in Chicago on 08/07/2325.”[[footnote]]Awaiting confirmation.[[/footnote]] A poll in [REDACTED] confirmed that out of 1,283 staff members surveyed, 98.68% rated the fortune cookies produced by SCP-700-J as “Okay, I guess” or lower. As a result of this and of SCP-700-J’s truly pointless fortunes, using SCP-700-J to cure world hunger has been denied by the O5 Council. Further testing on SCP-700-J is permitted, but is unlikely to lead to anything interesting. [[footnoteblock]]