SCP-7308

Link to article: SCP-7308.


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[[module CSS]]

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.quote-block{
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    background-color: #f4f4f4;
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}
.report-box{
    border: 2px solid rgb(12, 12, 12);
    background-color: white;
    padding: .25em 1em;
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}

[[/module]]

[[include :scp-wiki:info:start]]
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**[[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/ellie3-gimmick-free|More by this author]]]**

Image source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Red_sphere_shaded_lightsource_top_right.svg
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[[include :scp-wiki:info:end]]

[[include component:image-block name=http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/scp-7308/scp-7308.svg|caption=Artist's Rendition of SCP-7308]]


**Item #:** SCP-7308

**Object Class:** Safe

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-7308 is contained within a standard humanoid containment cell in Site-309. 

**Description:** SCP-7308 appears to be a red sphere approximately two meters in diameter. All attempts to perceive the true appearance of SCP-7308 have been unsuccessful. 

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**Addendum:**

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+++ Discovery
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SCP-7308 was discovered in Poplar Grove, Illinois after reports of an "orb" wandering a local apple orchard. Following the capture of SCP-7308, Gate B of Site-309 was blasted down by Soupglop, a known reality bender residing in Three Portlands, demanding that SCP-7308 be returned to her. 

After fourteen hours of standard de-escalation procedures, Dr. Noah Addams managed to conduct an interview with Soupglop.
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**<Begin Log>**
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**Dr. Addams:** Are you ready to cooperate? Or am I going to have to call in the tranq unit again? 

**Soupglop:** Fine. //Fine.// But mark my words, young man, I'm gonna be casting //sooooo// many hexes on you later. I'm gonna... 

//Soupglop gestures her hands in the air wildly.//

**Soupglop:** And you're gonna be //SORRY//.

**Dr. Addams:** I... Okay. Well, to start, what //is// SCP-7308? 

**Soupglop:** Ha! What is it? It's my INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, that's what it is.

**Dr. Addams:** To be clear, I'm talking about the... red circle thing.

**Soupglop:** Wait, //circle?// I thought I upgraded to the //orb// package! Goddammit. I'm so fucking mad. I suck at contracts. Always using so much //LANGUAGE//. I--

**Dr. Addams:** No-- it's-- you did fine. It's an orb. I just misspoke. Sorry.

**Soupglop:** Huh. How the fuck did you go from orb to circle? There's a whole DIMENSION of difference. I thought you people were supposed to be smart! 

**Dr. Addams:** I just misspoke. I'd appreciate moving on now.

**Soupglop:** Peh. Fine.

**Dr. Addams:** So, again. What is SCP-7308, and why can we only perceive it as an orb? 

**Soupglop:** You see him like that because you hold //no// shares! Nobody does! Because all the shares are //mine.// I copyrighted him! 

**Dr. Addams:** Well... then what do //you// see it as?

**Soupglop:** He's a large man with white fur. He has big muscles. He would be my husband but he's kind of stupid, so I copyrighted him instead. I call him "Yeti" and he's one of a kind. That's why Lord Alrights allowed me to finalize the ritual.

**Dr. Addams:** Hm. One moment, please.

//Dr. Addams stands, retrieves a manilla folder, then pushes it towards Soupglop. She begins inspecting its contents.// 

**Dr. Addams:** Did you know that [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeti there] [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6453 are] [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1529 countless] [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1000 entities] that are almost identical to your "Yeti"? Therefore...

**Soupglop:** Oh... oh no.

//A tear in reality suddenly forms above Soupglop. An eye emerges, staring directly at her.//


**UNKNOWN:** SOUPGLOP. YOU HAVE //LIED//, AND BETRAYED LORD ALRIGHTS. FOR THIS YOU WILL BE PUNISHED. 

**Soupglop:** Wait, wait, I didn't know! I didn't--

**UNKNOWN:** IGNORANCE IS //NOT// FORGIVEN. PERISH.

//Soupglop disintegrates into a pile of salt, and the tear closes.// 

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**<End Log>**
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[[/div]]

Following the interview, it was discovered that SCP-7308 had disintegrated into a pile of ground black pepper. Reclassification to Neutralized pending.


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<< [[[SCP-7307]]] | SCP-7308 | [[[SCP-7309]]] >>
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box
|author=Ellie3]]
=====
> **Filename:** scp-7308.svg
> **Name:** Red sphere shaded lightsource top right.svg
> **Author:** Jahobr
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source Link:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Red_sphere_shaded_lightsource_top_right.svg Wikimedia Commons]
=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

SCP-7308

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