SCP-7386

Link to article: SCP-7386.

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:author-label-source start=--
|name=MetalRavioli
|no-right-margin=*]]
Written by [[*user MetalRavioli]]
Happy Holidays!! Hope you enjoy the piece, Stealth!

For more by me, go to [[[metalRavioli-s-author-page | my Author Page!]]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:author-label-source end=--]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:betterfootnotes]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source
|item-number=7386
|clearance= 2
|container-class= keter
|secondary-class=
|disruption-class= vlam
|risk-class= warning
]]
--------
[[include component:image-block name=bug.jpg|caption=The Head of SCP-7386-1]]
**Special Containment Procedures**
SCP-7386 is currently located at 130 Eastern Colorado Ave, Telluride, CO, USA. Public access to SCP-7386 is restricted, and all exterior windows into the anomaly are to be boarded up or otherwise blocked. A sign reading "Permanently Closed" is to be hung from the building's front door, so as not to draw attention to the building.

A minimum of two security personnel disguised as civilians are to monitor SCP-7386 at all times. A nearby Foundation outpost is to keep in contact with on-duty personnel, and provide regular status updates to Foundation [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/secure-facility-dossier-site-95|Site-95]]]. No personnel are permitted to enter SCP-7386 without approval from Director Anne Tina or other qualified level-4 personnel.

**Description**
SCP-7386 is a small pest control shop operating under the name "Blug's Pesky Solutions." SCP-7386 itself has no fixed location, and will randomly manifest among plazas and other shopping centers around the globe. SCP-7386 will often replace a store already present within the shopping center, the store of which will reappear upon the demanifestation of SCP-7386.

The interior of SCP-7386 is identical throughout each manifestation. The store contains a single floor, which consists mostly of shopping aisles, each containing products relating to the control and extermination of vermin, specifically insects. The building also contains an employee-maintained counter and a small office area. SCP-7386-1 is the only known employee to ever work at SCP-7386 and has claimed to be the owner of the establishment.

SCP-7386-1 is a sapient, arthropodal biped that displays significant similarities to cerambycid insects in appearance. While SCP-7386-1's four frontmost legs are jointed like most arthropods, its two hind legs which it uses to walk are structured similarly to mammalian humanoids, allowing for more fluid movement. SCP-7386-1 measures approximately 2.1 meters in height, and possesses a pair of long antennae, each measuring 1.8 meters long.

SCP-7386-1 displays a friendly albeit overly assertive personality when interacting with customers, as long as they do not comment on the entity's anomalous appearance. If a customer comments or otherwise acknowledges SCP-7386-1's insect-like appearance, SCP-7386-1 will retaliate with extreme anger and distress, subsequently followed by the demanifestation of both the entity and SCP-7386 in its entirety. The same events will also occur if any individual(s) attempt to force SCP-7386 to leave the store or kill the entity. Individuals within the store during demanifestation will not reappear within the building during any following manifestation events.

**Addendum 7386.01:** History
While reports of phenomena possibly pertaining to SCP-7386 date back to the late 1990's, the anomaly was not formally discovered by the Foundation until October 12th, 2023, when SCP-7386 manifested on 11 Junction Rd, Cape Town, South Africa. Foundation Agents stationed within Cape Town quickly reported the anomaly, and an MTF squadron was dispatched to contain it. However, SCP-7386 demanifested after the squad confronted SCP-7386-1, due to the entity's anomalous effects.

Via analysis of the aforementioned incident and several more of which followed, Foundation specialists were able to pinpoint SCP-7386's demanifestation trigger. Using this information, a proper containment plan was devised, and appropriate protocols regarding a manifestation event were implemented.

On April 30th, 2024, SCP-7386 manifested at 141 Weybosset St. Providence RI, USA. After restricting public access to the building, Foundation agents sent Minato Noguchi in to SCP-7386 with the purpose of ascertaining information from SCP-7386-1 regarding itself and SCP-7386.

[[div class="blockquote"]]
[[=]]
[[size 115%]]
**- INTERVIEW LOG -**
[[/size]]
[[/=]]
**Date:** 30/4/2024
**Interviewer:** Agent Minato Noguchi
**Interviewed:** SCP-7386-1

//**Note:** In order to avoid triggering a manifestation event, Agent Noguchi was instructed to entertain SCP-7386-1's retail practices, while still attempting to gain information from the entity.//
----
**[BEGIN LOG]**

//(The camera turns on as Agent Noguchi enters SCP-7386. The entire shopping area is visible upon entry, and SCP-7386-1 is seen standing behind the checkout counter to the right. The entity turns to greet her.)//

**SCP-7386-1:** Hello! Welcome to Blug's Pesky Solutions, where we'll provide you with swift solutions on the fly! My name's Blug, how can I help you today?

//(Agent Noguchi appears slightly taken aback, but maintains her composure.)//

**Agent Noguchi:** Oh! I uh- actually have a few questions for you, if you don't mind.

**SCP-7386-1:** Of course! No problem at all, always willing to educate customers on how to properly eradicate whatever's buggin' em. So, what're we dealin' with? Carpet beetles? House flies? Bed bugs?

**Agent Noguchi:** Well, I actually-

**SCP-7386-1:** You're not sure? No problem! I've got plenty of products that are guaranteed to work on almost any species of nasty buggers you've got.

//(SCP-7386-1 leaves the desk and walks over to one of the aisles in the store. Following a short pause, Agent Noguchi follows.)//

**SCP-7386-1:** Now the most important question is: are the pesky pests you're dealing with flighted, or not? Do they have wings?

**Agent Noguchi:** Sir, I-

**SCP-7386-1:** Because if they do, you're going to need to caulk any loose windows screens and other exterior openings. You'll need nothin' but caulk!

//(SCP-7386-1 takes a bottle of caulk off a shelf and holds it out to Agent Noguchi. The bottle is labeled "Blug's Bugged-out Caulk")//

**Agent Noguchi:** Uhm, no. No, they don't have wings.

**SCP-7386-1:** Well then! You won't need as much caulk! Sure, you'll still want to seal up any cracks and crevices in your home, but your new best friend is going to be cyphenothrin!

//(SCP-7386-1 quickly leads Agent Noguchi to the next aisle, which is stocked with several sprays and toxins. SCP-7386-1 grabs a spray bottle labeled "Blug's Bugger-b-gone Spray")//

**SCP-7386-1:** Cyphenothrin is one of the most effective pyrethroid insecticides on the face of the Earth! And as a main ingredi-ant in our Bugger-b-gone spray, your house will be bug-free in no time!

//(SCP-7386-1 hands the spray bottle to Agent Noguchi)//

**SCP-7386-1:** Unlike most other insecticides, our Bugger-b-gone induces almost instant death in any insect that's unfortunate to catch a whiff of this stuff! I know it's a tough choice to use these chemical killers, but with Blug's Bugger-b-gone, you'll be choosing the lesser of two "weevils"!

//(Agent Noguchi's eyes widen as she looks at SCP-7386-1, then to the spray bottle. She then carefully examines the bottles warning label.)//

**Agent Noguchi:** Wow, you sure are well-versed in the... extermination world.

**SCP-7386-1:** I sure am!

**Agent Noguchi:** Where did you learn about all of this?

**SCP-7386-1:** Used to work for NPEI[[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]]**National Pest Extermination Incorporated --** An American multi-billion dollar pest extermination company founded in 1923.[[/span]] back in the day. Learned everything there was to know about every pesky insect from silverfish to boxelders. Now there ain't a bug I can't trap, fumigate, or plain ol' squash!

**Agent Noguchi:** You... worked there?

**SCP-7386-1:** Basically lived there! I was a standby exterminator, did the weekly inspections, emergency exterminations, you name it. Loved every part of the job.

**Agent Noguchi:** Really? I mean I'd feel bad for the bugs, personally.

**SCP-7386-1:** No sister, I hate bugs, every last one. After years of helpin' those who've suffered at the hands of those insufferable invertebrates, I don't feel bad for a single one of 'em!

//(SCP-7386-1 chuckles, fluttering its wings while doing so.)//

**Agent Noguchi:** Wow, alright.

**SCP-7386-1:** Anyway, use this stuff here and you'll be bug free in no time!

**Agent Noguchi:** Uh, thank you.

**SCP-7386-1:** Did you need anything else today? A Vac-o-bug? Some anti-beetle lotion? I promise you we've got more bug-killin' equipm-ant here than you'd ever find on the web!

**Agent Noguchi:** Just the spray.

**SCP-7386-1:** No caulk?

**Agent Noguchi:** ...and the caulk.

**SCP-7386-1:** Bee-utiful!

//(SCP-7386-1 turns and head towards the caulk section. As it moves, its large antennae nearly collide with a spinning ceiling fan.)//

**Agent Noguchi:** Oh! Look out! Watch your, uh-

//(SCP-7386-1 halts.)//

**SCP-7386-1:** My what?

**Agent Noguchi:** No, I was just saying-

**SCP-7386-1:** Watch what? Nothing! There's nothing to watch!

//(Agent Noguchi steps back as the entity turns around.)//

**SCP-7386-1:** Its just my head, nothing else! There's no ugly, furry feelers up here! Just a normal, //HUMAN// head! It's unbeweevable you'd say otherwise!

//(Agent Noguchi turns towards the door.)//

**SCP-7386-1:** Nothing creepy, nothing crawly, NOTHING!

//(The entity holds its head and starts to laugh.)//

**SCP-7386-1:** It's just my head, see? It's only me! There's no bee-littling it!! C-an't you see there's nothing bug me? Bugly me, no bug, bugthing but bug!! Bug bug bug bug! Bug bug b-

//(Footage cuts, simultaneous with the demanifestation of SCP-7386 and all its contents.)//

**[END LOG]**

[[/div]]

SCP-7386 remanifested in Charentsavan, Armenia two months following the above incident. Agent Noguchi did not remanifest within the anomaly and is considered MIA.

**Addendum 7386.02:** Additional Documentation
After SCP-7386's current containment status was achieved, an investigation conducted by the [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/entomology-intro-tale|Department of Entomology]]] into the NPEI yielded documentation possibly relating to SCP-7386-1. These documents have been copied below.

[[div class="blockquote"]]
Personal log
2/5/97

I might quit at this point. Being partnered with Josiah is bullshit. He does //everything//. Half the calls we get go straight to us, even when our schedules are already lined up with weekly checkups. And he's so enthusiastic about it all too, like come on man. No one gives a donkey's ass about the "taxonomy of their pests" or their "evolutionary weaknesses" dude. Get over yourself.

And the guy seems to love this stuff too. And in a strange way too, it's like he enjoys killing the insects. Don't get me wrong, they're just bugs. But I've caught the guy squeezing individual ants in his fingertips one too many times. He fucking laughs, too. Calls himself "Blug the bug killer", like that makes him sound any more sane.

Whatever. I'm going to request a transfer so I don't have to be all over the place with this guy.
[[/div]]

[[div class="blockquote"]]
Personal log
9/15/97

I have to wait another month to get transferred. Which means another week of nothing but Josiah and bugs. I hate it here so much man.

Also Josiah is definitely fucked up. Got called in for a wasp nest extermination the other day and he grabbed the nest. No gloves or protection suit, he grabbed the fucking nest, squished the entire thing in his hands and then fumigated everywhere around it. He was getting stung like silly but he just grabbed each wasp in his hands and squished them into paste. He was fucking //laughing// too.

I feel like reporting this, but what would Elise do? Maybe reprimand him for unprofessionalism, but I don't think she'd necessarily give a hoot beyond that.

We have our weekly inspection on that cabin tomorrow that's filled to the brim with borer insects, so I'm sure he'll do something crazy then too. Fuck me.
[[/div]]

[[div class="blockquote"]]

What the fuck what the hell
we got to the cabin late and no one was there and he just ran in with a lighter and spray and started torching them all. He set it all on fucking fire and was screaming about how worthless they all are. I tried to tell him to get out but he wouldn't listen

they were flying everywhere, they were on fire and landing all over him and he just kept torching them all. I could hear him screaming to bring it on as the cabin fucking collapsed. He was still torching and squashing borers, yelling at them to die as it came down on him. I'm quitting man this job is so fucked.
[[/div]]

Investigation into the referenced individual "Josiah" and the log's author is ongoing.

[[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]]
[[=]]
<< [[[SCP-7385]]] | SCP-7386 | [[[SCP-7387]]] >>
[[/=]]
[[/div]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
=====
> **Filename:** bug.jpg
> **Author:** USGS Bee Inventory and Monitoring Lab
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source Link:** https://www.flickr.com/photos/usgsbiml/14459034065
=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

SCP-7386

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