SCP-8334

Link to article: SCP-8334.

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[[module CSS]]
.email-example .collapsible-block-folded a.collapsible-block-link {
    animation: blink 0.8s ease-in-out infinite alternate;
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@keyframes blink {
    0% { color: transparent; }
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}
.email {border: solid 2px #000000; width: 88%; padding: 1px 15px; margin: 10px; box-shadow: 0 1px 3px rgba(0,0,0,.5)}
.email-example a.collapsible-block-link {font-weight: bold;}
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source

|item-number= 8334

|clearance= 4

|container-class= esoteric

|secondary-class= drygioni

|secondary-icon= https://smlt.wdfiles.com/local--files/shineshadowd%3Agyd4/Drygioni.svg

|disruption-class= vlam

|risk-class= danger

]]

**Special Containment Procedures:** The authenticity of SCP-8334-1's anomalous effect is under investigative review by O5-8. Until the exact mechanics of SCP-8334-1 can be determined, no microwave-based weaponry is to be deployed by the Foundation for covert operations.

As of 25/10/2025, the remains of SCP-8334-2 are under analysis and are not to be removed from Site-47. 

**Description:** SCP-8334-1 is a prototype, long-range, handheld, microwave DEW[[footnote]]Directed-energy weapon[[/footnote]] built as part of PROJECT: IOWA.

[[collapsible show="+ Information Provided to Site Director Henry Pullum regarding PROJECT: IOWA" hide="- Close"]]
The following is a transcript of a voice message sent to Site-47 from Site-01 on 04/09/2025:

[[div class="blockquote"]]
Alright Pullum, I've got a new job for your boys in R&D to work on. To put it bluntly, our conventional ballistic weaponry is becoming more and more redundant every month; subdermal armour and ballistic shields are only getting better at stopping a man's heart being blown out the other side of his chest. But I have a solution, little thing I cooked up called Project Iowa, all caps.

We're trying lasers again, and not the kind that we built under Reagan. I'm thinking handheld para-technology that can kill a son of a bitch without spilling a drop of blood. If your Benedict Shelly and his team really are the smart batch of cookies you say they are, then the Foundation's wetwork is going to be a lot less //wet//. 

Secure, Contain, Protect.  
[[/div]]
[[/collapsible]] 

For exact specifications of SCP-8334-1, please contact Site Director Pullum.

SCP-8334-2 refers to Benedict Shelly, former R&D lead at Site-47. It was discovered on 23/10/2025 that the internal structure of his head had heavily deviated from that of the baseline internal cranial structure of a //Homo Sapiens//. See further documentation for exact details.

It is currently undetermined if SCP-8334-1 produced SCP-8334-2 or is directly responsible for incident 8334.a.

**Addendum: Footage of Incident8334.a:**
[[div class="blockquote"]]

= **VIDEO LOG**
----
**DATE:** 23/10/2025

**NOTE:** Footage was taken from a secure weapons testing chamber in Site-47. O5-8, MTF Alpha-1 members "Sunny-Days" & "Bottoms-Up", and SCP-8334-2 were all present at time of recording.

----

[BEGIN LOG]

//O5-8, Bottoms-Up, and 8334-2 can be seen behind a panel of protective glass bisecting the room. 8334-1 is being operated by Sunny-Days and is in the process of firing on an active portable kinetic shield placed next to a ballistic test dummy, perpendicular to the protective screen.//

**8334-2:** Great work, Sunny; now, could you please place the generator on the dummy?

//Sunny-Days walks across the room, following 8334-2's instructions. Once the generator is in place, he returns to his original position.//

**8334-2:** And can you confirm that you haven't turned off the device?  

**Sunny-Days:** Yes, sir.

**8334-2:** Then go ahead and do your thing.

//Sunny-Days swivels 90° clockwise to face the dummy. He un-holsters his Sig Sauer M17 and unloads the entire magazine into the dummy.//

**O5-8:** Well, I've gotta hand it to you, Shelly, this sure is a great start, but PROJECT: IOWA needs more than that.

**8334-2:** Ah, well, here's the fun part.

//8334-2 leaves the observation area and enters into the testing area, standing near the now-destroyed ballistics dummy.// 

**8334-2:** Whilst we wait for the demonstration brain to be brought up from the morgue, I figured I'd demonstrate my baby's versatility a little more. Sunny?

//Sunny-Days re-arms SCP-8334 and fires it directly at 8334-2's head.//

**8334-2:** As you can see, she's completely harmless to biological matter at lower signal strengths, but if Sunny here dialled up the power just a bit, he would lobotomise me before I could even say lobotomy. Even higher and the entire brain is boiled. But thankfully at this level all I can feel is a mild warmth in my head, which shouldn't result in any lasting da-   

//The head of SCP-8334-2 explodes.//

-----

[END LOG]

[[/div]]

**Addendum: Table of results conducted following incident 8334.a**

||~ Type ||~ -1 Results ||~ -2 Results ||~ Comments ||
||= Hume ||= [[span style="color:red"]]Baseline[[/span]] ||= [[span style="color:red"]]Baseline[[/span]] || Rules out possibility of standard reality manipulation. ||
||= EVE ||= [[span style="color:red"]]Baseline[[/span]] ||= [[span style="color:red"]]Baseline[[/span]] || Rules out possibility of standard thaumaturgical activity. ||
||= Cuil ||= [[span style="color:red"]]Unabstracted[[/span]] ||= [[span style="color:red"]]Unabstracted[[/span]] || Rules out possibility of standard reality abstraction. ||

These results rule out thaumaturgy, and reality bending/abstraction, suggesting that SCP-8334-2 did not gain its anomalous effect during incident 8334.a but was unknowingly anomalous prior. Site-47 staff have also been unable to replicate incident 8334.a on mice. Whilst evidence is not wholly conclusive, it is likely that SCP-8334-1 possesses no anomalous effects 

||~ SCP-8334-2 Sample ||~ Comments ||
|| Ballistic gel || Most likely contamination from the test dummy ||
|| Skull fragments || Significantly thinner than expected of human skull bones. Calcium carbonate concentration at 80%. ||
|| Brain matter || Significantly less matter than expected. Tissue samples were surrounded by a yellow fluid, primarily consisting of fatty acids[[footnote]]26g/100g.[[/footnote]] and protein [[footnote]]16g/100g.[[/footnote]] ||
|| Off-white liquid/solids || Found to both be the same chemical composition, consisting mostly of water[[footnote]]90% by weight[[/footnote]] with some proteins, which likely uncoiled from being heated and created the solid tissue. ||

Results of this data are still under analysis for further information.

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[[collapsible show="Access SCiPNET Email? One (1) new message!" hide="Re:8334-2"]]
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**To:** Overwatch Command 05-8
**From:** Head of Site-47 Henry Pullum
**Subject:** 8334-2
[[/div]]
------
O5-8,
Based on all of the readings, the chemical analysis of his head, and an unfortunate breakthrough in the staff lounge, we have concluded that the internal structure of Shelly's head had, potentially for his entire life, been near-identical to that of a chicken's egg. SCP-8334 re-designation pending shortly.
A pleasure as always,
Henry Pullum
[[/div]]
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[[div class="tofrom"]]
**To:** Senior Researcher Henry Pullum
**From:** Overwatch Command 05-8
**Subject:** Re:8334-2
[[/div]]
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Shame about Shelly; he was a good egg, that one. Your "brightest egghead". Shame that we'll be scrubbing his name off PROJECT: IOWA, but hey, you can't make an omelette without cracking a couple eggs.
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SCP-8334

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