Link to article: SCP-9245.
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===== [[include component:preview text=Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?]] ===== [[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[include component:image-block-peppo |name=mcmansion.jpg |caption=Exterior view of SCP-9245. |width=300px ]] **Item #:** SCP-9245 **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** The community in which SCP-9245 is located has been acquired for the purpose of housing Foundation personnel; SCP-9245's security concerns are adequately addressed by the security provided to the community as a whole. Once every month, a pair of personnel are to examine SCP-9245's interior for any changes or damage, taking care to only move between rooms together. Any necessary repairs or cleaning should be performed during this inspection. No personnel may be alone inside any of SCP-9245's rooms except during authorized testing.[[footnote]]After Incident 9245-09D, a portable toilet has been installed outside SCP-9245 for use by these personnel.[[/footnote]] Following Incident 9245-13A, security cameras have been installed throughout SCP-9245. **Description:** SCP-9245 is a residential building in a gated community in upstate New York, built in 1995. Every room has three or more access ports that open to a network of small freight elevators spanning the building. While these are similar in design to modern dumbwaiters, a robust system of pulleys allows them to move in three dimensions along provided rails. SCP-9245's dumbwaiter network connects to a 0.5 m x 0.5 m shaft in the basement, designated SCP-9245-A. SCP-9245-A is filled primarily with the mechanical components needed to move up to fourteen dumbwaiters through it at a time. Remote examination has shown that SCP-9245-A is at least 7.1 km deep;[[footnote]]Specifically, camera equipment placed on an elevator moving through SCP-9245-A transmit footage of monotonic descent until their batteries run out, with no visible changes occurring at any point. The cameras themselves have not been recovered.[[/footnote]] its total depth is unknown. Whenever an individual is alone in one of SCP-9245's rooms, SCP-9245-A will produce an egg every 28 seconds, which will be transported to the room in question one at a time via dumbwaiter; the dumbwaiter will remain in place until the egg is retrieved. This process takes 5 days and 18 hours to complete, likely owing to SCP-9245-A's extreme depth. Eggs produced by SCP-9245 resemble unfertilized chicken eggs in appearance and content, but the genetic material is a match to that of the biological mother of the individual who triggered their production. As the eggs are not constrained or protected in any way during transit, they inevitably become cracked and begin to leak and/or rot prior to their arrival. SCP-9245 has an error-fixing mechanism that has been known to activate in the following situations: * A dumbwaiter's contents are retrieved, but all means of egress are occupied by other dumbwaiters. This is very likely to occur if eggs are not retrieved in under ten minutes. * One of the network's mechanical components is damaged or obstructed. Due to the low quality of the materials used in SCP-9245's construction, this is a common occurrence. * SCP-9245 experiences a power outage for any period of time. Note that the dumbwaiter network does not draw power from SCP-9245. * Any vertebrate other than a human touches a dumbwaiter. * Seemingly for no reason at all. (4 occasions) When one of these conditions is met, all access ports in SCP-9245 will seal shut and rattle loudly for 2-4 days. This is accompanied by constant activity from SCP-9245-A, which will emit a metallic shrieking sound from deep within it. Upon completion, the network will be in working order. All eggs in the network (including those produced during error-fixing), as well as any other foreign materials, will be launched from random access ports at high speed. When it is not producing eggs or correcting errors, SCP-9245 is inactive. Apart from those mentioned above, SCP-9245 has no physical abnormalities. **Addendum:** Incident 9245-13A On 31 May 2017, Agents ████ and ██████ performed a regularly scheduled inspection of SCP-9245. Prior to leaving the premises, they entered SCP-9245's master bedroom and engaged in sexual intercourse.[[footnote]]Both agents were demoted and reassigned once this protocol violation was discovered.[[/footnote]] Immediately upon ████'s ejaculation, all access ports in the room opened and began to pelt the agents with several eggs per second. This continued as the pair evacuated the premises, with other access ports behaving similarly. Both escaped with heavy bruising and multiple bone fractures; ██████ additionally suffered a head injury when she fell down a flight of stairs. The eggs produced during this incident were found to completely lack any odor, flavor, or genetic material. Due to the extensive cleanup required, no further testing of SCP-9245's response to intercourse has been scheduled. [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] = << [[[SCP-9244]]] | SCP-9245 | [[[SCP-9246]]] >> [[/div]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] > **Filename:** mcmansion.jpg > **Author:** Stilfehler > **License:** CC0 Public Domain > **Source Link:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Luxury_Home_USA.jpg Wikimedia Commons] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]