SCP-9595-J

Link to article: SCP-9595-J.

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[[include component:image-block name=pizza1.jpg|caption=SCP-9595-J-1 instance.]]

**Item #:** SCP-9595-J

**Object Class:** --Neutralized-- Euclid

**Special Containment Procedures:** Further SCP-9595-J manifestations are to be ignored until such a time when they can be abated by a HAZMAT-equipped team. SCP-9595-J-1 and SCP-9595-J-2 instances are to be abated in the Site-55 incinerator by said HAZMAT-equipped team.

**Description:** SCP-9595-J refers to a phenomenon occurring on October 25th, 2017 in the Site-55 break room. During the SCP-9595-J event, boxes of pizza (sub-designated SCP-9595-J-1) appeared upon the break room tables. A letter printed on 8.5 x 11 copy paper appeared alongside the boxes of SCP-9595-J-1.

A copy of the letter and its contents has been digitally replicated below.

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Enjoy the pizza party. 

Courtesy of your friends at the Fire Suppression Department.

- Michelle Iverson

[[/div]]

**Addendum 9595-J.1:** SCP-9595-J-1 and SCP-9595-J-2 instances were removed by a HAZMAT team called in by Agent Hart after reading the note. The boxes and contents within were taken to the Site's incinerator and abated without issue. The SCP-9595-J file was opened shortly thereafter.

**Addendum 9595-J.2:** On October 25th, 2018, SCP-9595-J occurred again, with the addition of garlic knot boxes. The following is a log of security footage from the second occurrence of SCP-9595-J.

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= **<BEGIN LOG>**

**Researcher Rex:** Has anyone..? 

//[Gestures at the pizzas]//

**Agent Hart:** No. You're more than welcome to be the first, though.

**Researcher Rex:** Yeah no, I-- I think I'm good. Thanks. 

**Researcher Waters:** Think it's a trap? 

**Doctor Everwood:** It has the FSD's name on it. It is absolutely a trap. 

**Researcher Waters:** Sure, but what would be the goal here? Isn't their whole deal related to personnel retention?

**Researcher Odonye:** They probably spike the pizza with something. Like those chemicals they put in the water to make you more suggestible and docile. 

**Agent Hart:** Whatever, man. All I know is, I'm not touching that. 

**Researcher Rex:** I'm gonna go ask them about it.

**Doctor Everwood:** Are you crazy?! Who knows what they'll do to you if you do that! 

**Researcher Odonye:** Or the rest of us, for that matter.

**Researcher Rex:** Can't be worse than whatever these mind games are. I'm sick of it. Two years in a row this happens. Isn't it bad enough that we have to deal with the shit we do? I'm marching up to Iverson's office right now and demanding answers.

**Agent Hart:** Your funeral.

= **<END LOG>**

[[/div]]

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= **<BEGIN LOG>**

//[Researcher Rex knocks on a door labeled "FSD".]//

**Researcher Rex:** Come on.

//[A woman opens the door. She looks at him with a smile and gestures for Rex to enter.]//

**Iverson:** Come on in, Mister Alces.

**Researcher Rex:** Cut the crap, Iverson. What's with the pizza? What's in it? What are you trying to do?

**Iverson:** What? It's just pizza.

**Researcher Rex:** Bullshit. Where is it coming from? Did you spike them with something? Are they going to MK Ultra me?

**Iverson:** Calm down, kid. No. The Site has been doing an excellent job the last two years and we wanted to reward you guys. Simple as that.

**Researcher Rex:** ... what?

**Iverson:** Yeah. It's a simple pizza party. Did you seriously expect us to engage in skullduggery? We're perfectly capable of operating above board, thank you very much. 

**Researcher Rex:** ... so you sent the pizza?

**Iverson:** Of course. Call your friends, tell them to feast. They've earned it.

//[Rex sighs and pulls out his phone from his pocket. He dials his supervisor, Doctor Everwood, and puts it on speaker.]//

**Doctor Everwood:** Yeah, Rex?

**Researcher Rex:** Talked to Iverson.

**Doctor Everwood:** And?

**Researcher Rex:** Normal pizza. Apparently we earned a pizza party for doing good as a Site.

**Doctor Everwood:** I see. Well, that tracks, I guess. Alright, everyone, dig into the pizza and garlic knots!

//[Rex hangs up and stuffs the phone in his pocket.]//

**Iverson:** Garlic knots? Did they say garlic knots?

**Researcher Rex:** Yeah? Why?

**Iverson:** I don't recall ordering garlic knots. I-- oh no.

**Researcher Rex:** What?

**Iverson:** It's the fucking [[[scp-9595|Garlic Knot Freak]]].

**Researcher Rex:** The what freak?

**Iverson:** We need to get an MTF in there before he kills everyone.

**Researcher Rex:** What?!

= **<END LOG>**

[[/div]]

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**Addendum 9595-J.3:** Aftermath of 2018 manifestation.

[[include component:image-block
|name=pizza2.jpg|caption=There were no survivors.|width=500px|align=center
]]

[[footnoteblock]]

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> **Filename:** pizza1.jpg
> **Name:** 2020-02-21 12 39 16 Pizza box from Buon Appetito's NY Pizza in Dulles, Loudoun County, Virginia
> **Author:** Famartin
> **License:** CC BY-SA 4.0
> **Source Link:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2020-02-21_12_39_16_Pizza_box_from_Buon_Appetito%27s_NY_Pizza_in_Dulles,_Loudoun_County,_Virginia.jpg Wikimedia Commons]

> **Filename:** pizza2.jpg
> **Name:** Photograph showing the damage to houses and trees in Washington following the 11-17-2013 tornado
> **Author:** Mrluckypants
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Source Link:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Photograph_showing_the_damage_to_houses_and_trees_in_Washington_following_the_11-17-2013_tornado.jpg Wikimedia Commons]


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SCP-9595-J

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