SCP-ADMONITION-J

Link to article: SCP-ADMONITION-J.


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[!--
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/fragment:scp-admonition-j-0 - STANDARD STYLING
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/fragment:scp-admonition-j-1 - ACCESSIBILITY STYLING
--]

=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:preview
text=ADMONITION: EPISODE IXI: ITS OVER 9000!
]]
=====

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[[include component:image-block
name=admo-https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/scp-admonition-j/phmd.jpg
|caption=ADMONITION
|width=100%
|align=center]]
[[/div]]

[[module CSS]]

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EPISODE-SPECIFIC STYLING
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[[/module]]

[[div class="admo-episode_splash"]]

[[div class="admo-rate_splash"]]
[[module Rate]]
[[/div]]

[[div]]
[[span class="cond"]]EPISODE IXI[[/span]]

[[span class="ctrl"]]##red|THE MADNESS OF## 
##red|PLACEHOLDER MCDOCTORATE##[[/span]]

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[[/div]]

[[module ListPages category="fragment" parent="." limit="1" order="created_at" offset="@URL|0"]]
%%content%%
[[/module]]

[[/div]]

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|inc-esoteric-layout = --]]]

[[div class="anom-bar-esoteric"]]
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|item-number= SCP-ADMONITION-J
|clearance= 4
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
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|add-caption=true
|caption=Dr. Placeholder McDoctorate's lab, Site-17.
]]
 

[[div class="modal"]]
[[span class="st"]]DESCRIPTION:[[/span]] SCP-ADMONITION-J is the //PLACEHOLDER-HARKNESS-XYANK-TESLA Model 42069-N1C3 Eigenweapon Device 9000.01//. It currently accounts for 90% of the Foundation's operating budget. The device perpetuates the narrative substack as to not permit SWANN Entities to breach into our narrative level.[[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]]At least, according to Dr. McDoctorate. [[/span]][[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]]Why on earth did we recycle the header picture from the Acroamatic Abatement one? Are we stupid?[[/span]] [[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]]The author sure is. Not the one behind the picture. Harry is great.[[/span]] In order to activate, the device requires the sacrifice of 1,000 Foundation personnel[[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]] Specifically not D-Class. [[/span]] and is currently the leading cause of death within the Foundation.[[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]] We die in the dark so they may live in the light, or something like that. [[/span]]

In addition to requiring massive amounts of bodies in order to function, SCP-ADMONITION-J also requires its SCP documentation to be very pretty or else it will become sad and will start causing resonant cascade reality failures. The reasoning behind this, if any, remains unknown.[[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]] Though I could hazard a guess, my lawyers have advised me not to do so. [[/span]]

[[/div]]

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[[div class="modal"]]
[[span class="st"]]ADDENDUM 1: INTERVIEW WITH DR. MCDOCTORATE[[/span]]
-----

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Hello, Doctor McDoctorate.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Hello, Hector.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Please don't call me that.

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] is distracted playing with a **##green|SCP-6416-CUBE##** instance and does not hear him.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Yeah.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Anyways... I am excited to be interviewing you today.

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] does not look up from his **##green|SCP-6416-CUBE##**.]//

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] I'm a big fan of your work.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Everyone is. And if they aren't, they're wrong. Isn't that right, Jim Cim?

[[span class="at"]]Cimmerian:[[/span]] You're wrong about being wrong. Which is to say, you're right.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Thanks, Jim Cim.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] My favorite was that one where we build a device and then we suffer extremely because of it.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] One might say we were... //admonished.//

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] is wearing sunglasses. The crowd goes wild.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Thank you, thank you. Upvotes to the right.

[[>]]
[[module rate]]
[[/>]]

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Just a moment, Doctor McDoctorate, I am hearing reports from ETTRA that the SWANN Entities are attempting to breach this narrative layer again.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] So? Fire up SCP-ADMONITION-J.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] But if we activate it again, we'll lose what's left of our staff! And we don't even know how since someone forgot to attach Special Containment Procedures to the document!

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] This isn't tagged {{on-guard-43}}, it's tagged {{deepwell-catalog}}. That means we can do literally whatever we want as long as we justify it as being for 'the greater good'.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] It's also not tagged with {{admonition}},[[span class="fnnum"]].[[/span]][[span class="fncon"]]Not unless someone has //truly// lost their marbles.[[/span]] so what does that say about our situation, Doctor?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Wait a minute... 

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] scrolls to the bottom of the page.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] NO! NOOOOOOOO! IT'S TAGGED {{joke}}! WHO DID THIS?! ADMONITION IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS!

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Knowing the current -J climate, it might be [[*user MisterFrown]].

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] No. This was someone who is a known opp.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] What the hell is an opp?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] You're killing me, smalls.

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Researcher Smalls died the last time we activated SCP-ADMONITION-J. 

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] facepalms.]//

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Wait, are you in your twinkish boy character mode? Or mad scientist mode? I'm conflicted here.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] God damn it, ADMONITION is //serious business.// I am not a twinkish boy. I am a genius! I can prove it! I'm going to sing the Elements Song from memory! There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium and nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium and iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium...

[[span class="ngo"]]O5-3:[[/span]] Doctor McDoctorate, the SWANN Entities? What should we do?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Activate SCP-ADMONITION-J. We're going to take an SCP-INTERMISSION-J while I sort this out. 

[[/div]]

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[[=]]
[[div]]
[[span class="cond"]][[size 500%]]INTERMISSION:[[/size]][[/span]]

[[span class="ctrl"]][[size 500%]]CARTOON BOX[[/size]][[/span]]
[[/div]]
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[[image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/scp-admonition-j/mouse.gif]]
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[[size 25%]]thank yuo for watshing my intermeshun :)[[/size]]
[[/=]]


[[div class="modal"]]
[[span class="st"]]ADDENDUM 2: RESEARCH OF DR.MCDOCTORATE[[/span]]
-----
//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] walks down the Research Head offices of Site-55. They are mostly empty.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] I fucking hate Boston. Mostly because I hate the Bruins. Go Maple Leafs.

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] stops at the GoI Research Head office and kicks the door open.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] YOU!

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] The fuck do you want, Place? Jeez. You owe me a new door, by the way.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] I know you're an ADMONITION hater! 

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] What the hell is admonition? 

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] It's not pronounced like that, it's ADMONITION. Come on. It's like a brand.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] You mean like Wonder World ™ ?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Literally no one but you and [[*user Darkstuff]] care about that canon. I'm talking about ADMONITION. The wiki's equivalent of the MCU. 

//[[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood[[/span]] sighs.]//

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Dude, you need to relax. I have no idea what you're talking about, but it sounds like some 'pataphysical bullshit that I have no interest in hearing about. 

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about your creator. They're a known ADMONITION hater.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] What did I just say?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] You know what, that doesn't really make sense now that I think about it. Your creator made peace with me a few years ago. I know they even enjoyed EXISTENTIAL ABATEMENT.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Are you going to explain anything or are you just going to keep yapping?

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] tosses his hair.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Geniuses don't need to explain themselves.

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] leaves the office and continues walking down Site-55.]//

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Hey!

//[[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood[[/span]] chases after [[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]].]//

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Why are all my staffers gone? Why did you kick down my door and yell about admoniti--

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] ADMONITION! Not admonition! ADMONITION is serious business!


[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Yeah, sure. Anyway, I think we need to figure something out. Someone, or something, has killed all my staff and now the Site's a ghost town. 

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Of course! Someone is altering the narrative! I figured it out because I am a genius! 

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] dog seriously you need to explain things better. i dont know whats going on and i am literally part of the story.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Aha! See?! You just did it right there! You spoke in all lower-case with minimal punctuation and in a meta fashion, when normally you are not a meta-thriving character! Well, except that one time. Can I get a [[[SCP-7726|link?]]] Thanks.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Oh god, you're right. Gross. I think we need to--

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Take another SCP-INTERMISSION-J? I agree! See you all at DEEPWELL-SITE-17!

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] ... what?

[[/div]]

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[[=]]
[[div]]
[[span class="cond"]][[size 500%]]INTERMISSION:[[/size]][[/span]]

[[span class="ctrl"]][[size 500%]]CARTOON BOX 2[[/size]][[/span]]
[[/div]]
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[[image doverboys.gif]]
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[[size 25%]]oh no were amlst done :([[/size]]
[[/=]]
[[div class="modal"]]
[[span class="st"]]ADDENDUM 3: DR.MCDOCTORATE AND DR.EVERWOOD'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE[[/span]]
-----
//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] and [[span class="ngo"]]Everwood[[/span]] walk down the DEEPWELL area of DEEEPWELL-SITE-17. Computers beep all around them.]//

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] We're almost there, Jay. We're almost to the Narrative Substack Archive.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] If the Foundation has the power to alter reality's Narrative, how come they don't use it to stop anomalies from propagating? Or maybe even get rid of that lizard that wrecks 19 three times a year?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] We tried that. Can I get a [[[SCP-6820|link?]]] Thanks, you're the best.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Who are you even talking to? 

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Don't worry about it. Anyway, look! There's someone over there!

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] points ahead to the main DEEPWELL computer. There is someone visibly typing away at it, but their identity is obscured by the light of the computer.]//

###315b96|Unknown:## Uh oh!

//[###315b96|Unknown## scampers off and disappears in the distance.]//

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Ah, hell. How are we gonna catch them now?

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Easy. We check their login credentials.

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Good call.

//[[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate[[/span]] and [[span class="ngo"]]Everwood[[/span]] approach the terminal and access the credentials of the previously logged in user.]//

[[span class="ngo"]]Everwood:[[/span]] Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

[[span class="dd"]]McDoctorate:[[/span]] Who the hell is--

[[/div]]


[[div class="admo-series-nav"]]
[[<]]
[[size 80%]]<< [*/scp-admo-joke ALL CAPS TITLE][[/size]]
[[/<]]
[[=]]
THE MADNESS OF PLACEHOLDER MCDOCTORATE
[[/=]]
[[>]]
[[size 80%]]TO BE CONTINUED >>[[/size]]
[[/>]]
[[/div]]

[[div class="admo-end_card"]]
[[div class="admo-credits"]]
[[div]]
+ [[span class="ctrl"]]ADMO[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div]]
[[span class="cond"]]FEATURING @@ @@ **RESEARCHER JAMES**[[/span]]
[[span class="cond"]]WITH ART BY @@ @@ **WINDELL OSKAY, NASA, WALT DISNEY, AND WARNER BROTHERS**[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]



------
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box
|author=Uncle Nicolini]]

> **Filename:** lab.jpg
> **Name:** NASA’s MMS Achieves Another Mission Milestone
> **Author:** NASA
> **License:** CC BY SA 2.0
> **Source Link:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/gsfc/9025853545/in/photolist-eKzRNz-JP83M-asBADA-6oyGpJ-eZpj4B-oC2a19-rbNrRM-ciNGw5-9BMwR1-cHpumC-fQwnYh-fQeMug-6ouFg8-6ouoee-oC2t8k-PocGoJ-6oygU1-qMd2qv-6ou5MK-6ouBXZ-6oyWeY-6ou4YP-6ouJEV-g97Nph-6oyuLo-5UbCVG-eJ82No-6ou22p-6ouuy4-qrgKSr-fQeMfD-kyFmeu-aFqodi-6oyTh1-7Pz6Mf-6ouPvv-6ov1u8-fQeMrP-93TcNa-doQSr3-6ouMQe-dMEEHP-8NHHdB-6oubvv-6oz43w-6ouhst-6oudkD-6oumuR-6ou4ci-6ouULF Flickr]

> **Filename:** phmd.jpg
> **Name:** Syliva @ Evil Mad Scientist 5
> **Author:** Windell Oskay
> **License:** CC BY SA 2.0
> **Source Link:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/8505527028/in/photolist-dXB3RJ-dXvm7F-iv85rC-2ERhnU-9LBnnh-jPR2cF-jPTijq-JwVpe-tLb6m-4fgQH-c5Z7o3-c5ZbqY-7bHRv8-7EJYMw-Hih8s5-Gwcu1G-Hih7X7-qbGUVa-H2ufuw-Gwk9xr-HoNtrs-HoNuLG-HkFFbB-Gwk9MK-HoNtVJ-H2ugbG-Gwk7sp-HkFCEp-Hih7B7-c5Z9wu-Gwk8ck-6mo1N-cWcvgy-9s1bQn-HoNunL-jPRTGB-5Kribi-7pnE6p-7YfpNx-TVNVfn-UV1JuN-sczgY-UV1Jvj-sczJ7-TVNUWg-UV1K5L-UV1Kr7-jPR3qT-sczvJ-9s39W2 Flickr]

> **Filename:** mouse.gif
> **Name:** Steamboat Willie
> **Author:** Walt Disney
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source Link:** [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steamboat_Willie Wikimedia Commons]

> **Filename:** doverboys.gif
> **Name:** The Dover Boys at Pimento University
> **Author:** Warner Bros
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source Link:** [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dover_Boys_at_Pimento_University Wikimedia Commons]

> **Filename:** timecrash.jpg
> **Author:** [[*user HarryBlank]] and below
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0

This image is a composite of:

> **Name:** A simulation of how a gas cloud that has been observed approaching the supermassive black hole at the centre of the galaxy
> **Author:** ESO/MPE/Marc Schartmann
> **License:** CC BY 4.0
> **Source:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=27366710 Wikimedia Commons]

> **Name:** Christmas orbits
> **Author:** Kevin Dooley
> **License:** CC BY 2.0
> **Source:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/12836528@N00/23927364585 flickr]

> **Name:** light ripple 2
> **Author:** parameter_bond
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/65720474@N03/8528165024 flickr]

> **Name:** Orbits of stars around black hole at the heart of the Milky Way
> **Author:** European Southern Observatory
> **License:** CC BY 2.0
> **Source:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/51207680@N04/46013560445 flickr]

> **Title:** Philadelphia Pride Flag
> **Author:** Philadelphia City Council and Tierney
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source:** [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Philadelphia_Pride_Flag.svg Wikimedia Commons]

> **Name:** Star-Forming Region NGC 3603
> **Author:** Hubble Heritage
> **License:** CC BY-SA 2.0
> **Source:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/34168865@N08/4775296174 flickr]

> **Name:** When Black Holes Collide
> **Author:** NASA Universe
> **License:** CC BY 2.0
> **Source:** [https://www.flickr.com/photos/50306086@N07/7632898002 flickr]

> **Filename:** 5y46584875-1.webp
> **Name:** TASNEE 001
> **Author:** Secl
> **License:** CC BY 3.0
> **Source:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:TASNEE_001.jpg Wikimedia Commons]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

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