Link to article: SCP-COOL-J.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[include component:image-block name=SCP-COOL-J-2.jpg|caption=SCP-COOL-J-2. Shortly after this photo was taken SCP-COOL-J-1 broke through a wall while on top of SCP-COOL-J-3 to retrieve SCP-COOL-J-2 claiming “If you losers try to snatch my shades again, you’ll regret it”. No similar actions have been performed.]] **Item #:** SCP-COOL-J **Object Class:** Radical **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-COOL-J is currently too cool for the SCP Foundation to contain. Attempt of containment of SCP-COOL-J-1 is strictly forbidden, as our coolness levels will surely decline heavily, thus causing a foundation-wide epidemic. If any personnel other than D-Class makes physical contact with SCP-COOL-J-1, they will need to be immediately sent to the infirmary for frostbite injuries. **Description:** SCP-COOL-J-1 is a Caucasian male humanoid, approximately 190.5 cm. (6'3") and weighing 91.17 kg (201 lbs.). No personnel is to make physical contact with SCP-COOL-J-1, as this will cause immediate freezing in the area that made contact with SCP-COOL-J-1, causing frost related damage (e.g frostbite, hypothermia, etc.). Upon speaking with SCP-COOL-J-1 subjects are to subjected to feeling “lesser” than SCP-COOL-J-1 and will attempt to replicate activities that SCP-COOL-J-1 frequents, such as; skateboarding daily, purchasing sunglasses similar to SCP-COOL-J-2, and [DATA EXPUNGED]. After a period of time, subjects that have seen SCP-COOL-J-1 will fall into a state of depression, claiming that they’re “losers” and “not as cool” as SCP-COOL-J-1. SCP-COOL-J-2 is a pair of █████ Brand Sunglasses, weighing approximately 31 grams (0.07 lbs.) which SCP-COOL-J-1 wears at all times. As of current documentation, SCP-COOL-J-2 has been shown to not emit any anomalous properties, but is still classified as an SCP due to its relation with SCP-COOL-J-1 SCP-COOL-J-3 is a █████████ Skateboard, which weighs 2.26 kg. (5 lbs.). SCP-COOL-J-3 has four wheels which makes SCP-COOL-J-3 used for a means of transportation for SCP-COOL-J-1; each wheel is colored differently[[footnote]]From left to right, front to back, the wheels are red, blue, yellow, and green.[[/footnote]]. SCP-COOL-J-3 is capable of traveling at speed up to 854.5 kph (231 mph). Although traveling at such high speeds SCP-COOL-J-3 shows no sign of deteriorating or any signs of ordinary wear-and-tear making SCP-COOL-J-3 seem brand new at all times. [[collapsible show="+Addendum SCP-COOL-J-A" hide="-Close Interview"]] > //The following is an interview held by D-42069 and SCP-COOL-J-1// > > **Interviewed:** SCP-COOL-J-1 > > **Interviewer:** D-42069 (Chosen for his D-Class Number) > > **Foreword:** D-Class was chosen to conduct this interview because SCP-COOL-J-1 “didn’t think those science nerds were cool enough for me”. This interview was held in the outskirts of ███████, California with SCP-COOL-J-1 skating at ██ mph while D-42069 pursued in a van. > > **<Begin Log>** > > **D-42069:** Uh- He-Hello SCP-COOL-J-1. //Christ that’s long.// Can I just call you Cool? > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Nah bro, just call me Xavier, or some really cool sounding name. > > **D-42069:** Ah- okay, fuck it, so I’m here ask you some questio- > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Sorry bro, no can do, questions aren’t for a cool guy like me. > > **(D-42069 is visibly distressed)** > > **D-42069:** Please man? I already have to do some really shitty things, and I got called this dumb name by these SCP people. > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Really bro-to? What did they call you? > > **D-42069:** **//[sighs]//** D-42069 > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** **//[stifles a laugh]//** Alright bro, thats a pretty cool name. Because of that, I’ll answer a whole 3 questions. > > **(D-42069 shivers)** > > **D-42069:** O-Okay, uh, let’s see, ah, okay. How did you become so cool? > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Dude, you just gotta grind, although, I was born with this level of cool. Maybe you’ll get close, but you can literally, never be as cool as me. > > **D-42069:** O-kay… Next one, What does your daily lifestyle consist of? > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Well, first things first, I wake up with my trusty skateboard **//[gestures towards SCP-COOL-J-3]//** from where ever we dropped, then we catch some of the fast-break //[what SCP-COOL-J-1 refers breakfast as]// , and we do whatever we want dude! As long as it's legal, breaking the law ain't cool bro. > > **D-42069:** Yeah, I know. > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** One more question brotatoe. Then I gotta skate to the nearest cool place I know. > > **(D-42069 shivers again and complains about low temperatures in California, seemingly due to SCP-COOL-J's anomalous ability related to freezing temperatures)** > > **D-42069:** Okay, how did you [DATA EXPUNGED] > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Sorry bro, can't answer that one. > > **D-42069:** Why not? > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Because it's way to lame of a question for me to answer, bro-macho. > > **D-42069:** That doesn't even make sense- > > **SCP-COOL-J-1:** Anyways, gotta fly bro-cho, seeya later! > > > **<End Log>** > > **Closing Statement:** SCP-COOL-J-1 then proceeded to skate away at speeds D-42069 could not keep up with, then vanishing off into the distance [[/collapsible]]