Skirmish at Crane's Pub

Link to article: Skirmish at Crane's Pub.
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= //The following is a collection of all relevant documentation regarding the conflict between Foundation personnel and agents of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. over the purchase of SCP-2253.//

------

= _____

++ Records and internal correspondence of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. concerning [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2253 SCP-2253].
= _____

++++ __Inventory Statement__

||||~ S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5||
||~ Status||Acquirable||
||~ Demand||High||
||~ Value||Not for Sale||
||~ Availability||Unique||
||~ Identifier||Stephen Crane's Pub and Brewery||
||~ Description||Item is a relatively small brewery located in Springfield, New Jersey, in the United States. Alcohol produced on the premises will sometimes have a stronger flavour.||
||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||
= _____

++++ __Initial Report__

||~ Author || Francis Connelly ||~ Date || ████ ██, ████||
||~ Interest||High||~ Identifier||Stephen Crane's Pub and Brewery||
||||||||While on holiday after another assignment, a number of locals directed me to the item of interest. Though it is no small artefact, the rather odd name and abnormal flavour and colour of their product warrant further investigation. Possibly a Foundation front.||
||||~ File Opened Under:|||| S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||

= _____
++++ __Electronic Correspondence__

||||||||~ S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||~ Sender || Francis Connelly ||~ Recipient || Gideon Branson||
|||||||| Good afternoon, Mr Branson. _
 _
We spoke earlier this week about the purchase of Item S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5. I was wondering if you had completed the draft, yet. _
 _
Respectfully yours, _
Mr Francis Connelly ||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||
= _____
||||||||~ RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||~ Sender || Gideon Branson ||~ Recipient || Francis Connelly||
|||||||| sorry for any delay, mr Connelly _
 _
I am not really a master of words myself so iI gave the job to a mate. she is very good with writing letters!! oh & sh e can b trusted shes in the same business as us. no hard feelings mate, right??? haha _
 _
Gideon Branson _
Celebrating 20 Years in Sales! ||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||
= _____
||||||||~ RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||~ Sender || René Dermott ||~ Recipient || Francis Connelly||
|||||||| Mr Connelly, _
 _
Our mutual associate contacted me. I accept the task and have attached the letter you wanted. No payment over unsecured networks, please. _
 _
Sincerely, _
René ||
|||||||| Attachment: SALE_LETTER.txt||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||
= _____
[[collapsible show="WARNING: An error occurred when accessing data. Do you still want to open?" hide="Close document"]]
||||||||~ RE: RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||~ Sender || Francis Connelly ||~ Recipient || Gideon Branson||
|||||||| Mr Branson, _
 _
DELETED TEXT: --What on Earth were you thinking?! Do you really want to split the prestige about this find three ways? I have no idea how to get it into your thick skull that LESS PEOPLE MEANS MORE FOR US.-- _
 _
I received the letter. Thank you. _
 _
Respectfully yours, _
Mr Francis Connelly ||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||
[[/collapsible]]
= _____
||||||||~ RE: RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||~ Sender || Francis Connelly ||~ Recipient || René Dermott||
|||||||| Ms Dermott, _
 _
Thank you for the file. I will send it immediately. _
 _
P.S. I have not heard of you before, but it seems we are both acquaintances of Mr Branson. Perhaps we could have a lunch sometime? _
 _
Respectfully yours, _
Mr Francis Connelly ||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||
= _____
||||||||~ RE: RE: RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5 ||
||~ Sender || René Dermott ||~ Recipient || Francis Connelly||
|||||||| **__Mrs__** Dermott. _
 _
Thank you for the money. _
 _
 _
P.S. I have not heard of you before, but it seems we are both acquaintances of Mr Branson. Perhaps we could have as little contact as possible in the future? _
 _
 _
It's never going to happen, _
René ||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.||

------

++++ __Log of Conversation Between Owners__
= _____

[[collapsible show="Please input credentials." hide="Accepted."]]
**Messages obtained through the** ████████ **chat service.**

> ** Connected to user //JerseyBoyz//
> *** Current time is: 04:37:20 AM
> 
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:37:20)> heyyy man whats up??[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:38:10)> Nothing much, u?[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:38:53)> got a wierd af email[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:39:06)> hang on ill send it to you[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:39:40)> work adress ok??[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:41:02)> Yeah that's fine.[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:41:41)> k[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:42:11)> lol your never gonna believe this shit[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:42:36)> you think its a con???[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:44:09)> Hang on I'm looking at it...[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:50:17)> LOL WTF[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:50:34)> This is hilarious! "To the proprietors" LMAO![[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:50:51)> i knwo right??/?[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:51:12)> its some kinda scam. gotta me[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:51:15)> be*[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:51:32)> IDK man, this looks legit.[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:52:08)> you really think so???? hmm hang on ill do some digging[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (04:52:31)> Okay. Hey, did you meet Diego last night?[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (04:53:04)> did i ever!!![[/span]]
> 
> **[IRRELEVANT DISCUSSION OMITTED]**
> 
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (05:07:23)> k so you were right they look legit but kinda shadey??[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (05:08:40)> like theres like no presense online or site or nothing[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (05:09:14)> but some ppl talking about "Professionalism" or some bull[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (05:09:23)> idk what to make of it tbh......[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (05:09:37)> Damn, that IS shady...[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (05:09:53)> Hey, be right back.[[/span]]
> 
> ** User //JerseyBoyz// is AFK - reason: idle
> 
> ** User //JerseyBoyz// is Active
> 
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (05:11:36)> I was thinking. Should we tell him?[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (05:12:10)> lol YESS this is limey AF he'll love it[[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#666000;"]]<**JerseyBoyz** (05:12:27)> Haha okay! See you soon, man![[/span]]
> [[span style="color:#000666;"]]<**brewmeisterUSA** (05:12:43)> bye dude[[/span]]
> 
> ** User //JerseyBoyz// is Offline
[[/collapsible]]
------

++ Foundation documentation regarding the incident on ██/██/████.

= _____

++++ __Field Report 2253-V__
= _____
[[collapsible show="WARNING: THIS DOCUMENT IS ONLY ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE WITH LEVEL THREE SECURITY CLEARANCE AND ABOVE." hide="THANK YOU FOR YOUR (WILLING OR OTHERWISE) COMPLIANCE."]]
> **DATE OF INCIDENT:** ██/██/████
> **LOCATION OF INCIDENT:** Springfield, New Jersey, USA
> **ANOMALIES INVOLVED:** 2253
> **EXTERNAL ORGANIZATIONS INVOLVED:** Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd.
> **CASUALTIES:** No deaths, one hangover (treated with aspirin).
> **KILLED/CAPTURED:** 3 agents, two male and one female.
> **RESOURCES USED:** Standard equipment, Class-B amnestics for fifteen police officers, 3 shot glasses

> **__TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW 2253-V-4__**
> 
> //Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████, director of the Metanormal Occurrences Committee, conducted an interview with Sgt. Diana G█████████ (MTF-█████-██) about the events of ██/██/████.//
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** Please state your name for the record.
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Diana G█████████, MTF-█████-██.
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** And you were present during the events of ██/██/████ in Springfield, New Jersey? Is that correct?
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** Yes, sir.
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** Right. Well, then, would you explain what happened there? Please be specific, this is going to be included in the final paperwork.
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** //Leans forward in chair.// Okay, so I'm eating lunch when I get the call. [Deeper voice, mocking tone] "Get off your ass, Di! Some nutters are trying to take the place!"
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** Mhmm.
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** So then I say: "Who would be stupid enough to assault here of all places?" That place is paradise -- the best assignment I have ever had. Right next to this incredible deli that made my sandwich that day-
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** [Interrupting] Who?
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** The Parker Brothers Deli. Real nice guys, the folks that own it-
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** [Interrupting] No, I mean who assaulted it?
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** Oh! Oh. Okay, so I get my gear on and hop over there, and I see three bastards from Micky Dee's arguing about something. There was a lot of p-
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** "Micky Dee's"?
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** You know. Marshall, something something.
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** Oh, I see. Please continue.
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** Right. So these three whackos are there. Already secured the building, some civvie called the cops, a total clusterf[EXPLETIVE OMITTED]. I go through the back door and hug the walls until I reach the front, and all Hell breaks loose.
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** What do you mean by that?
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** I'm getting there -- so the first visual I get is these nutters taking cover behind a table that they knocked over or something. Glasses, beer, those little novelty hipster bottle openers -- all being flung at them. There were maybe three or four customers cowering behind anything they could find, too.
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** Is it true that the apparition in question was-
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** [Interrupting] Who? Steve?
> 
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** Yes.
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** Oh, yeah. He was pissed. Kept them busy while I got around and detained the intruders.
> 
>  
> [Long pause, no talking]
> 
>  
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** You're f[EXPLETIVE OMITTED] with me, aren't you?
> 
> **Sgt. Diana G█████████:** I swear it's the whole [EXPLETIVE OMITTED] truth.
> 
> 
>  
> [Longer pause, no talking]
> 
>  
> **Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████:** [EXPLETIVE OMITTED]
[[/collapsible]]

------

= _____

René Dermott, Francis Connelly, and Gideon Branson had been monitoring the target for weeks, now. Their rival was good, no doubt about that. Outwardly, the place seemed like a normal business. Sales and tax records showed no suspicious activity, and the background checks on the owners came up clean. No one would suspect a thing if they didn't know how they operated. Arrogant, always arrogant. Too obvious with their cover, and, in the opinion of Mr. Connelly, terribly ordinary. This business required finesse -- the sort of skill unique to their organization. Evidently, Francis' colleagues disagreed with him, because they were preparing to capture their target by force. Their usual methods had fell through, and his partners, being unaccustomed to field work, chose to risk it all and vanish rather than continue operating in the open.

"You good, Fran?" Gideon Branson said with genuine concern, a rarity in his line of work.

"Terribly so, Mr. Branson, thank you," replied Francis.

"You talk like you are from a movie, Connelly," René Dermott commented with unconcealed distaste.

"Why, thank you, dear René," Francis chided with concealed distaste.

"Ahh, that's just how Fran talks, Mrs. D. He don't mean nothing by it, I swears," said Mr. Branson.

They continued to prepare themselves in silence. Each had a small firearm in case things came to that, though only one of them knew how to use it. Gideon parked their stake-out car in an alley across the street, and all three met and casually walked into the brewery. It was empty, save for a young man behind the counter and a few customers sitting and enjoying their drinks. Almost immediately, the hanging lamps began to sway slowly. Then, the light bulbs exploded and the building was thrown into darkness. A few people screamed when the lights went out, but there was only a moment of blindness.

A soft green glow radiated from behind the counter. As it grew brighter, tables and chairs began to levitate. The faint outline of a man became distinguishable in the eerie light, and shot glasses hung in the air with the furniture. René Dermott, Francis Connelly, and Gideon Branson barely dodged a table when it sped toward them without warning. They sought cover behind it after it landed to protect themselves from an onslaught of cheap dining furniture.

"Shoot it, for the love of God! Shoot it!" Francis yelled.

Several shots were fired into blackness, until no bullets were left, but this only seemed to increase the speed of the projectiles.

The green glow crept closer to the three intruders. Just as Sgt. Diana apprehended them, a ghostly voice filled their ears...

"//Tell King George that this is how we party in America//."
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Skirmish at Crane's Pub

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