SPC-3733

Link to article: SPC-3733.

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**WARNING:** THE FOLLOWING FILE IS CLASSIFIED
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WAY-GNARLY
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UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS WILL BE MET WITH IMMEDIATE PUGNATORIAL ACTION.
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++++ NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE

SPC-3733 is currently pending Ethos Commission approval for global distribution.[[footnote]]**PLEASE HELP US**[[/footnote]]


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**Project #:** SPC-3733[[footnote]] If you are reading this document and these words mean anything to you, there is still hope.[[/footnote]]
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>
**Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities:** The purpose of SPC-3733 is to initiate a KO-Class Global-Pugnation Scenario, converting 98%[[footnote]] My name is Researcher Haru Akimoto, I work in the SPC Anti-Memetology Division.[[/footnote]] of the human population to an anti-selachian ideology. The converted population will begin supporting anti-selachian laws and practices, along with an exponential increase in selachian pugnātorial participation from the public.

**Project Component(s):**[[footnote]] While experimenting on new anti-memes, I was exposed to a cerebral-reset anti-memetic agent, and I have learned a grave truth.[[/footnote]]

The Centre's Memetology Division developed 6 auditory memetic agents specifically designed for SPC-3733. The six memetic agents were condensed to form a 1 minute 59 second mp3[[footnote]]The SPC organization is currently under the influence of an unknown force, twisting our purpose to fit its own sick agenda.[[/footnote]] audio file classified as Meme-3733.  Human subjects exposed to Meme-3733 will hear an orchestral composition consisting of various instruments. During exposure, individuals experience a subconscious shift to a Centre-developed anti-selachian ideology. The subject affected will have no awareness a change has taken place and will consider all implanted ideologies to be authentic naturally-occurring beliefs.[[footnote]] I do not know when it started and I don't know what it is, but it has control.[[/footnote]]


Using cutting-edge nanotechnology[[footnote]]All I know is what it wants. It wants us to punch sharks.[[/footnote]] and several deviant components, the F.I.N. (Frequency Integration Network) Device is capable of transmitting Meme-3733 over ranges of up to 40,000km. Within the range specified, any human[[footnote]] It's literally insane, nothing we do or say makes sense.[[/footnote]] with cerebral functionality will hear Meme-3733 through telepathic auditory implantation.                  

**Enhancement Summary:** The Anti-Memetology Division has prepared counter-meme 3733-Old-Punch, for distribution amongst Centre personnel. This 59-second memetic inoculation will prevent any aggression-saturation effects among Centre personnel.[[footnote]] We all need to wake up, before it's too late.[[/footnote]]

**Deployment Record:** After 47 years of development, SPC-3733 was declared operational, on  8/14/2019. Approval to continue the project is currently pending.
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> +++ Civilian Test Subject
> 
> 
>  **Interviewed:** Daniel Briars[[footnote]] We were supposed to protect the world, not play some sick game.[[/footnote]]
> 
> **Interviewer:** Senior Researcher Dr. Philips
> 
> **Foreword:** Interview was taken before Mr. Briars was exposed to Meme-3733. The subject is a 24-year-old Caucasian man from southern Indiana. The subject is typical of the civilian population, showing no deviant qualities.  
> 
> **<BEGIN LOG>**[[footnote]] Whatever this entity is, it's not satisfied with just us anymore.[[/footnote]]
>  
> **Dr. Philips:** Before we begin the procedure, I'd like to conduct a short interview.
> 
> //[Subject begins fidgeting in his seat.]//
>  
> **Mr. Daniels:** Yeah, yeah, no problem, listen I was told there was gonna be money? I was just wondering if I get paid before or after?
>  
> **Dr. Philips:** Yes, compensation will be given after the procedure, may we continue, Mr. Daniels?
>  
> //[Subject slicks back his hair, before pulling the chair closer to the interview table.]//[[footnote]] Please this project is going too far. We need help, before the whole world goes fucking crazy.[[/footnote]]
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** Yeah, sorry, what were you saying?
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Have you or do you plan to conspire with or for any selachian entities or Sharkic conspirators?
> 
> //[Subject scratches his head.]//[[footnote]] Again, this is Researcher Haru Akimoto, Site-99, Universe-sp7c326. [[/footnote]] 
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** Say what now?
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Have you ever conspired with or for selachian enti-
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** I'm sorry, selachi-what? I'm sorry Doc, I'm not sure what that is. 
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** //[Exaggerated Sigh]// Have you ever planned on helping sharks, or any shark sympathizers?
>  
> **Mr. Daniels:** Sharks? //[Subject laughs]// What type of medical study is this again?
>  
> **Dr. Philips:** Mr. Daniels, I assure you there is nothing funny about this, please answer the questions, so we can begin the procedure[[footnote]] We need your help. [[/footnote]].
>  
> **Mr. Daniels:** Right, whatever you say Doc. //[Subject clears his throat]// No, I have never helped any sharks or shark people.
>  
> **Dr. Philips:** Good Mr. Daniels, now how does this picture make you feel?
> 
>  //[Dr. Philips holds up a picture of a Hammer-Class selachian entity.]//
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** //[Subject fights back laughter]// Um, I don't know man, fine? It's a good picture if that's what you mean.
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Great, thank you. We can begin the procedure now. I'm going to have you listen to a short piece of music, then I will ask you a few more questions.
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** That's when I get paid right?
>  
> **Dr. Philips:** Yes, Mr. Daniels, that's when you get paid. 
> 
> //[Dr. Philips leaves the room.The F.I.N. Device is activated exposing the subject to Meme-3733 for 1 minute 59 seconds. Dr. Philips re-enters the room once the device is deactivated]// [[footnote]] We are not in control anymore. [[/footnote]]
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Okay great, are you ready to answer some questions, Mr. Daniels?
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** Yeah okay Doc, ask away.
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Have you or do you plan to conspire with or for any selachian entities or Sharkic conspirators?
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** Are you kidding man? I told you, I hate sharks, they're awful. I wanna punch one right in its dumb face. 
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Great, now how does this picture make you feel?
> 
>  //[Dr. Philips holds up a picture of a Hammer-Class selachian entity.]//
> 
> //[Subject abruptly stands and punches the picture out of Dr. Philips' hand.]//
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** Fuck sharks.
> 
> **Dr. Philips:** Excellent, Mr. Daniels, I'd like to keep you here for a few days, so we can monitor for any side effects. There will be no monetary compensation, but we have several selachian entities you could punch. 
> 
> **Mr. Daniels:** I mean, I feel fine, but whatever you say Doc, that sounds fucking radical.
> 
> **<END LOG>**[[footnote]] I'm not sure we ever really were.[[/footnote]]
> 
> **Closing Statement:** Subject experienced complete anti-selachian conversion, showing no signs of negative side effects. Mr. Daniels is under the impression that all implanted beliefs are organic life-long convictions.
> These results remained consistent for all SPC-3733 tests on civilian subjects.




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SPC-3733

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