SPC-993: BOBBLE THE CLOWN SHARK

Link to article: SPC-993: BOBBLE THE CLOWN SHARK.

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[[include component:preview
|text=At one point, orange-belt Christine Cooke (age 8) punches Bobble in the snout. The force causes him to fly through a structural beam and load-bearing wall at Mach 1.5, levelling the building.]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:info-ayers
|lang=en
|page=spc-993
|authorPage=http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/floppyphoenix
|comments=**SPC-993:** Bobble the Clown Shark 
**Author:** [[*user Lt Flops]] 
**Published on 12 Mar 2019** 
----
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[[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/spc-993/spcheader.png]]
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++++ NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE
----
Centre personnel may visit the Arena-19 Recreation Wing if they wish to view old episodes of //Bobble the Clown Shark// to increase morale.

Thank you for your loyalty.

--Nathan Jones, Commissioner, CICAPOCO
Search, Punch, Conquer.
[[/div]]

[[table style="width: 100%; font-size: 120%;"]]
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[[span style="font-weight: 900;"]]PROJECT:[[/span]] SPC-993 {{[__ARCHIVED__]}}
[[/cell]]
[[cell style=" text-align: right;"]]
[[span style="font-weight: 900;"]]STATUS:[[/span]] [[span class="terminal-span rev-red"]]INACTIVE[[/span]]
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----
+++ Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities {{[__DEFUNCT__]}}
----
SPC-993 is an anti-Selachian propaganda program that the Centre uses to indoctrinate children under the age of 10. It is responsible for teaching pugilism and Deviant martial arts to children and training them under the Centre's mission.

Viewers of SPC-993 over the age of 10 experience feelings of joy, amusement, and satisfaction. This is not believed to be a result of direct viewing: These are common side-effects of witnessing Selachian pugilism in action.
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+++ Specific Project Components
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[[include component:image-block
|name=BobbletheClownShark.png
|caption=Still image from an episode of SPC-993: “Bobble Gets Berated Mercilessly by Lobsters and Other Such Crustaceans”.]]

SPC-993 consists of a single component: //Bobble the Clown Shark//, a children's animated television program produced originally by FINIMATION Studios starting in 1949.

SPC-993 features the titular character — a Sand Tiger Selachian (//Carcharias taurus//) with ambulatory tailfins — in his day-to-day activities as a stockbroker and moneylender. Episodes involve Bobble engaging, unsuccessfully, in insurance fraud and other business scams and becoming a victim of violence when discovered.

Because of Centre augmentation, Bobble does not react adversely to pressure and is seen grinning and laughing in most scenes. Bobble persists despite his injuries; all damage incurred to Bobble[[footnote]]Which includes but is not limited to pugilism, exsanguination, punting, skewering, electrocution, use as a board in waterskiing activities (in contrast to waterboarding, which does not work on Selachian entities), mutilation, sarcophagy, exposure to cognitive hazards, and public humiliation after peeing himself.[[/footnote]] heals between episodes and scene transitions.[[footnote]]A poorly rotoscoped circus clown's nose appears in nearly every scene containing Bobble, positioned over the edge of his snout. It remains present regardless of the inflicted level of damage.[[/footnote]]

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+++ Augmentation Summary
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The Centre came to purchase FINIMATION Studios in 1953 and worked to alter the series to feature Bobble's humorous mistreatment by different humans and aquatic entities.

By use of metanarrative pugnātorial techniques, Centre pugilists were able to coerce Bobble under duress and convince him to co-operate. Between 1953 and 1969, 416 animated //Bobble the Clown Shark// shorts aired on numerous syndicated television stations. The show acted as an educational comedy that teaches children the proper ways to fight, build muscle, and engage in Selachian pugilism, often narrated by Bobble himself.
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+++ Deployment Record | Episode Log
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||~ Episode Title ||~ Contents ||
|| “Bobble Pretends To Be the IRS” || Episode takes place in a large call centre, where Bobble communicates with several people via telephone. He speaks with an elderly woman in an attempt to convince her to release credit card information. The woman punches him through the phone receiver, breaking several teeth. The office manager, noticing his scam attempt, convinces a mob of angry coworkers to beat him to a pulp while the Benny Hill Theme plays. ||
|| “Bobble Gets Beat up by Moby Dick While Captain Ahab Watches” || Episode takes place in [[[wanderers-library-hub|the Wanderers' Library]]].[[footnote]]It is unknown how Bobble got to this location; the Centre is retroactively banned from every single library we visit.[[/footnote]] Bobble steals the book //Ponzi Schemes for Fuck-Knuckles// and is apprehended immediately. The episode involves a Librarian gathering fictional pulp and comic-book characters from their original publications, after which they engage in corporal punishment against Bobble. This occurs for an ensuing three hours[[footnote]]Most //Bobble the Clown Shark// shorts are between 10 and 15 min in length.[[/footnote]] while Bobble laughs uncontrollably. ||
|| “I Burn Bobble's Toast Bread” || This episode (//[[[scp-426|directed, produced by, and starring me]]]//) involves Bobble entering my kitchen while my owner is sleeping. After wasting a few minutes trying to break into my owner's security cash box, he loots their fridge and places two slices of whole-wheat bread into my slots. I burn his toast and force it down his throat. There was some kind of laugh track playing, I think? Next episode, I get plugged in and thrown into a bathtub while he washes up. _
 _
 Squirm, baby, squirm. ||
|| “Sensei Says: Punch Bobble!” || Episode takes place in an all-girls karate class. The class involves a warm-up, kata demonstration, and sparring session all narrated by Bobble, who acts as both the class sensei and punching bag. Throughout the class, the 23 attendees conspire against Bobble, leading to a 10-min showdown between him and the girls. At one point, orange-belt Christine Cooke (age 8) punches Bobble in the snout. The force causes him to fly through a structural beam and load-bearing wall at Mach 1.5, levelling the building. _
 _
No children were harmed in the production of this episode. ||

In 1969, all further airings of SPC-993 emitted a “squaloidhazard”[[footnote]]**squaloidhazard:** A hazard of Selachian origin.[[/footnote]] produced by the character Bobble after years of torment. Viewers under the age of 10 affected by the hazard became enraged by the concept of Selachians and sought means to pummel them. To the Centre's luck, this compulsion ceased after the program ended — though, the feelings persisted.

//Bobble the Clown Shark// was taken off the air, and all copies of the show were burned. SPC-993's master copies remain in CICAPOCO Archives.
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> = [[span class="terminal-span rev-blue"]]__NOTICE:__ There's been an update to SPC-993! Read it?[[/span]]

> = [[size 120%]] [[span class="terminal-span rev-green"]]Y[[/span]] / [[span class="terminal-span rev-red"]]N[[/span]] [[/size]]

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[[span class="terminal-span"]]INPUT: [[span class="rev-green"]]Y[[/span]][[/span]][[span class="blinkbar"]]_[[/span]]
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> = [[span class="terminal-span rev-blue"]]That's right, are you //SEEING// this shit?
> = Check it out or you're dogfish![[/span]]
> 
> = [[span class="terminal-span rev-blue"]][[size 80%]]@@[@@//This is an automated message, please DO NOT reply.//@@]@@[[/span]][[/size]]

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+++ Update
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In February 2017, all episodes of SPC-993 were altered simultaneously, edited //en masse// to no longer include the titular character. The next day, Deviant television programme //The Chappell Show// — hosted by Richard Clavis Chappell, a critically-acclaimed Selachimorphic television entrepreneur and Mud City resident — broadcast a low-budget CGI reboot of //Bobble the Clown Shark// daily for 12 hr each day.

The reboot features Bobble advocating for activities Selachians can and should do on land, such as driving pick-up trucks, teaching interpretive dance classes, running for Congress, and [[span class="terminal-span"]][REDACTED — HEAVYWEIGHT PUGILISTS __ONLY__][[/span]] [[span class="dblock"]]hugging puppies[[/span]]. [[span class="terminal-span"]][/REDACTION][[/span]]

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[[div class="oracle-header"]]
++++ ATTENTION: ALL CENTRE PUGILISTS
----
Bobble the Clown Shark is in **[[span style="color: hsl(211, 97%, 16%);"]][[size 110%]]//COWABUNGA, DUDE!!!//[[/size]][[/span]]-Level Danger**.

We need //YOUR// help to get him back from the Deviant menace. To do this, we need a hardened fighter with FISTS OF STEEL. To prove your worth, all you need to do is 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 100 squats, and drink a peanut butter & banana chocolate protein shake. But you gotta be quick so that Bobble can get back on the air and teach these kids karate!

Once you have read this document, please report to your Fitness Centre. Long Island Iced Tea will be administered when you get there. HURRY!
[[/div]]

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[[collapsible show="▶ The following is QUALIFIED/993 Restricted ◀" hide="[ACCESS GRANTED]"]]
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[[div class="blockquote"]]
+++ OFFICIAL PROMOTION
++++ __//CENTRE SMACKDOWN!//__
----
Are you READY for Centre SmackDown #993‽

Watch **SUPER-PUGILIST Clark “PUNCH-DOCTOR” Savage, Jr.**, in an EPIC once-in-a-lifetime UNLICENSED match-up //VS.// **SELACHIAN Richard C. Chappell**. Tune in on March 12th at 8/7 Central to witness ol' Doc Savage pulverize that Selachian wretch.

That's right — watch Centre SmackDown #993, LIVE, at the __Dr. Mike Tyson Colosseum__. Buy your tickets TODAY!
[[/div]]
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=====
> **Filename:** spcheader.png
> **Name:** shark-2278001.png
> **Author:** [https://pixabay.com/users/wraithrune-3641298/ wraithrune]
> **License:** [https://pixabay.com/service/terms/#license CC0 (Free for commercial use; No attribution required)]
> **Source Link:** [https://pixabay.com/illustrations/tubar%C3%A3o-gr%C3%A1fico-predador-2278001/ Pixabay]
> **Note:** Edited by [[*user Lt Flops]]. Added inner shadow.

> **Filename:** BobbletheClownShark.png
> **Name:** shark-1454245.png
> **Author:** [https://pixabay.com/users/graphicmama-team-2641041/ GraphicMama-team]
> **License:** [https://pixabay.com/service/terms/#license CC0 (Free for commercial use; No attribution required)]
> **Source Link:** [https://pixabay.com/illustrations/tubar%C3%A3o-animal-personagem-bonito-1454245/ Pixabay]
> **Note:** Edited by [[*user Lt Flops]] (Shark). Added matte grey background, vignette effect, Black & White adjustment, sepia Photo Filter, and Noise filter.

> **Filename:** BobbletheClownShark.png
> **Name:** red-nose-1508838844kns.jpg
> **Author:** [https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/browse-author.php?a=8245 George Hodan]
> **License:** [https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/ CC0 1.0 Universal (CC0 1.0) - Public Domain Dedication]
> **Source Link:** [https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?image=232547 Public Domain Pictures.net]
> **Note:** Edited by [[*user Lt Flops]] (Clown nose). Processed with Oil Paint & Poster Edges filters, and High Pass filter overlay.
=====
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SPC-993: BOBBLE THE CLOWN SHARK

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