Stuck Song Syndrome

Link to article: Stuck Song Syndrome.

div#extra-div-1 {
    background-image: url('https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/theme%3Aqueerstyle/SiteLogo_1.png');
    filter: opacity(0.6);
}

(none)

```
text-container-wrap
```
```
text-container
```
```
sent
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
recv
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
sent
```
```
text
```
```
recv
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
sent
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
recv
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
sent
```
```
text
```
```
text
```
```
recv
```
```
text
```
```
sent
```
```
text
```

=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:preview
|text=//Hello listeners, and welcome to ✱✱.✱ FM -- The Halfway House.//]]
=====
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:blankstyle]]
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:queerstyle]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:text-style]]

[[module css]]
div#extra-div-1 {
    background-image: url('https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/theme%3Aqueerstyle/SiteLogo_1.png');
    filter: opacity(0.6);
}
[[/module]]

[[>]]
[[module rate]]
[[/>]]

[[=]]
+ Stuck Song Syndrome
[[/=]]
-----

Sitting on the soft carpet of her room, Billie Forsythe relished in the quiet of her new abode, delighted in the solitude. Billie, for the first time in a very long time, was not being watched.

Back at Site-43, Billie had known little peace; days in the clinic were long, and while she wasn't handling some of the more basic day-to-day tasks, or consulting with staff on their medication, she wouldn't be able to leave the sight of her mother.

To her credit, few could say that Helena didn't care about her daughter, but few denied the fact that she cared //too// much, though none would ever say it directly to her. The Medical Officer always had one eye trained on Billie; it didn't matter whether she was brushing up on her studies, letting heavy metal drown out the constant //whirs// and //beeps// of the pumps and vital machines, or if she was resting on one of the spare beds on a slow day.

Billie was always being observed.

Nights weren't much better either. A sliver of white fluorescents beamed into her room from the hallway, and she would be woken up to have her vitals taken. She had offered once to check her own when she learned how to do so, but Helena wanted to be certain. Needed to be certain. Certain that her daughter was stable, certain that she was doing everything in her power to take care of Billie. The only thing Billie was certain of was that she would never escape. 

She was happy to be proven wrong. 

SITE certainly took a moment to get used to, but for once, Billie felt the closest to normal she thought she would ever get. She could wander the seemingly endless expanse of halls or stay in her room, she could eat whenever and whatever she wanted, and now, with Heather's blessing, she could gaze longingly into the cold, conceptual abyss. It was wonderful. 

But, for all of the new experiences, there was one thing that gave Billie some comfort, no matter the situation. As she began to unpack the collection of scuffed cardboard boxes that held her treasured collection, throwing the packing material to the side, Billie's mind began to meander.

//It's funny,// she thought, as she held a small digital recorder, shotgun mic attached via connected XLR, //I have all of the freedom in the world, and yet, I still come back to this.//

The record player was unpacked with practiced reverence, and the tape recorder found a place alongside it on the table. Music, and by extension, audio recording, were one of the few 'Helena-approved' hobbies; those were exclusively the activities she had deemed safe enough for Billie. Back at 43, whenever Billie would ask to play with other kids her age, her mother would smile, gently, and hand her the recorder.

Billie could remember walking the empty, grey tunnels of Site-43, hearing each footstep reverberate through the unused hallways. She saw herself, sitting at the end of a tunnel, headphones that were too big for her head, shotgun mic shakily pointed out in front of her, just listening to the natural noises 43 made. The drips, the creaks, the slight shifts and the cracking; on some days, they were her only companion.

Naturally, she had used her preferred hobby to rebel against her mother's control. Helena used to say that 'music never hurt anybody' -- that was, until, Billie played deathcore for her mother.

Helena never gave her speakers again, from that point on. Only headsets.

//Enough moping,// Billie thought, standing and setting down her collection of records, to grab her next box. //What about having some fun... I wonder if Hana would like a mixtape?//

-----

"Hello? Anyone home?" a muffled voice asked accompanied by a knock at the door. Billie could recognize it almost immediately: Hana.

The warmth Billie felt rushed to her cheeks, and she just caught a glimpse of herself in her mirror; her usually pale face was flush, pink with both heat and affection. Billie remembered fondly their last encounter under the blanket; Hana's fingers interlaced with hers, her words, the shape of her face and her brown eyes. It snuck up on Billie during the day sometimes, only for her to be pulled out of the reverie by a query or falling object. The feeling was almost entirely new to Billie, and she wasn't sure what to make of it, nor how much of herself to give to it. 

"Y-yeah, I'm in here. Door's open."

Billie watched as Hana slowly opened the door, sure to kick off her shoes by the entrance, before entering the room further. She looked comfortable; the heat from the summer didn't necessarily seem to pierce all the way through to SITE, though Billie was always cold regardless. Hana wore her usual baby blue jacket, with a set of athletic clothes underneath. She gave Billie a look of both awe and worry. 

"Are you alright? It looks like you've seen a ghost." Before Billie could answer, Hana traversed across the room, placing one of her hands on Billie's forehead. "God, you're almost burning. Do you have water?" 

Billie laughed. "May have pushed myself a little too hard." She motioned to the remaining half-completed music recorders on the floor. "Should almost be finished setting everything up, though."

"A little?" Hana said, teasing Billie, one hand on her hip, the other still resting against Billie's forehead. "You're flush, are you running a fever?"

"Oh, yeah, that," Billie replied, concealing her blush. "But it's no big deal, I always have a fever. Come on, let me show you around!"

Billie took a few steps forward, and froze.

"Wait," she said, stammering. "Sorry, I just realized, it's not... big enough to need a tour?"

"Are you sure?" Hana snarked, "I might get lost on my way to the far side of the room."

"See," Billie teased in return, "//this// is why they needed me to be your handler. Somebody has to take care of you, otherwise you'd have no clue what to do."

"You're so right, I'm unbelievably lucky that you're there for me to depend on." Hana, in a fashion that Billie would quickly realize was a bad habit, had accidentally been incredibly genuine, with something that had started as a joke. Billie watched in real time, as Hana made the same realization -- Hana looked cute, blushing and staring down at her feet, hands pulling at her sleeves.

"Let m-- Uh", Billie blustered, trying to fight the girls collected awkwardness. "Do you want to listen to some music?"

"Yeah," Hana replied in a more reserved tone than Billie had expected. "I'd love to."

Billie nodded. "Well, make yourself at home. I'm just going to grab another glass of water from the kitchenette, can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay," Hana replied, as she drifted towards a comfortable-looking beanbag in the corner. "Thank you, though."

//Come on Billie,// she thought to herself as she turned to enter her kitchenette. //You have to stop making this weird.//

-----

//Stop it,// Hana thought to herself, as she walked further into Billie's bedroom area. //You have to stop making this weird.//

When it came to crushes, Hana once thought of herself to be an expert.

Once.

She had enough experience, after all; well, as much experience that can be afforded to someone whose recollections of high school were cloudy and had to make do from movies from the 80s and 90s. Movies made everything look so easy: life was certainly not ideal, however, and there would be no actress for Hana to project herself onto this time.

At school, Hana swore to keep things casual; there was no telling where she would be tomorrow, so there was no point in pursuing anything that lasted past the night.

//But Billie... She's different.// A shiver ran down her spine.

Part of Hana's mind had imagined what it would be like to transfer here forever. She would be subject to Heather's antics more often, sure, and she would have to endure Lillian's remarks, yeah, but-- maybe there was a future here for Hana. Maybe that future's name was--

Hana caught herself in the midst of taking a seat on Billie's bed, stopping herself mere centimeters from the surface. She stood up in the speed of a blink, as if sitting on the comforter would have caused her to fall forever.

//Are you stupid, Hana? You can't sit on the bed of a girl you just met like that. It gives off the wrong idea.//

Hana's cheeks pinkened slightly; she couldn't help herself. Though Hana tried to control her thoughts, in the way the psychologists at Site-19 directed her to, there were times where Billie was almost inescapable to her-- not that she minded that, of course. She just expected Billie to appear as a fleeting but familiar face she passed in the hallway, or from the muffled melody from a pair of headphones. No, Hana would not have that luxury, and she could hardly hear the word "handler" now without blushing.

//'...they **needed** me to be your handler'-- does she know what she's saying? Am I that obviously into her?// Hana placed a hand on her forehead. //My handler. How gay is that? Heather **definitely** had something to do with this.// 

Just as she let out a deep breath, she turned her head and, with still blushing cheeks, welcomed Billie back into the room.

-----

"So, what kind of music do you listen to?" Hana asked, as she stood awkwardly in the middle of Billie's room, hovering by the bed. "Taylor Swift?" she asked smarmily.

"She's a good lyricist, but no," Billie replied, throwing herself down onto a wide beanbag, and patting the part beside her for Hana to join her on. "I... I'm a bit more hardcore than that?"

"So, like, Metallica?" Hana asked, plopping down beside Billie, the beanbag sagging and dragging the two ever-so-slightly closer.

"God, Hana," Billie asked, rolling her eyes. "Do I look like a middle aged man?"

"I mean..."

"Shut up," Billie said, pushing Hana playfully. Her hand lingered, an inadvertent desire to maintain physical contact for as long as possible; the second she realized what she was doing, she pulled her hand away, jumping up from the beanbag. //Shit. Stop this.//

"Why don't you play a song for me?" Hana suggested, gazing at Billie's vinyl collection. Billie began to leaf through the sleeves, but she knew exactly what she was looking for. With a practiced ease, she slid the record out of the protective slip, gently placed it atop the turntable, and moved the needle over. A split-second later, the intense, but melodic sounds of Alesana's //The Emptiness// album filled Billie's bedroom.

Billie let herself fall into the music, the drumline beating in tandem with her pulse, eyes closed, swaying and mouthing along to the words. It was a comfort for her, listening to the same albums -- she knew every note, every transition, and knew just what was coming next.

Of course, she really didn't know what was coming next -- certainly not for a rogue hip to bump her.

Billie opened her eyes, and saw Hana standing, hips cocked, hand outstretched.

"What--" Billie was flustered, her musical reverie broken. "What's that?"

"It's my hand, Billie."

"Yeah. I know. What's it doing?"

"Well," Hana said, head tilting, "I was going to ask you if you wanted to dance."

"Do you even know how to dance?" Billie asked, smirking. //What's Hana doing? Fuck, she knows and is teasing me, isn't she?//

"I mean, I know how to slow dance?" Hana offered with a shrug.

"Wow," Billie said, in mock astonishment. "You //really// were the stereotypical high schooler, weren't you?"

"I mean," Hana laughed morosely, "that's definitely one way to put it. But what about you, you've never done the awkward arms-length holding and sway before?"

Billie shook her head, frowning. "I didn't go to high school, Hana. Seeing anybody else my own age was a major event for me, let alone dancing?"

"Oh, right," Hana said awkwardly. "Sorry."

The girls stood around, awkwardly, as the heavy guitar continued to reverberate in the background. Billie took the opportunity to beat herself up.

//Why can't you just be normal?// she screamed at herself, internal frustration bubbling over. //Why do I have to be different? Can't I just pretend? No, apparently not! I just lash out, like an assho--//

Hana's hand pulled her out of her mind, literally. Billie stumbled as Hana grabbed onto her hand, pulling the two closer together. When Billie reached out to stop herself from falling, her hand landed on Hana's upper shoulder, dangerously close to her chest.

//Oh god you almost touched her boob.// Billie tried to prevent herself from hyperventilating, and managed to muster a few words. "What... what are you doing?"

"Teaching you to sway," Hana said, grinning, taking Billie's hand from her shoulder, and placing it on the small of her back. "It's really easy, you just keep your hands there and... you just sway."

Hana began to move her shoulders back and forth, gently wavering like a blade of grass in the wind, and Billie found herself mirroring Hana. Billie was immensely aware of her hands, but didn't want to pull away. She could feel how warm Hana was, through her shirt, and the slight callouses on Hana's hand felt rough around her neck in a way that Billie couldn't quite place, but undeniably gave her butterflies.

The music was, undoubtedly, dissonant with their swaying; neither girl noticed, as they stared into each other's eyes.

"See?" Hana said, smiling. "Not that bad, right?"

"Yeah," Billie responded. "This is... nice."

For a second, the two swayed in silence, an unspoken feeling unaddressed. //She's going to know,// Billie worried, biting her lip. Thankfully, Hana once again came to her rescue.

"Do you feel like you missed something?" Hana asked, swaying gently with her. "By not going to high school, I mean."

"Yeah, I guess? I mean, I've watched the movies, right? So I feel like I think I know what high school was, but also -- I think I just envied people who could go places, and do things, you know?"

"Trust me," Hana shook her head. "High school is nothing like the movies, no matter how much I tried to make that fantasy fit."

"Did something happen?" Billie asked, innocuously.

"You could say that," Hana snorted, before scanning Billie's face. "Come on, you don't have to pretend for me." 

Billie tilted her head, causing Hana's expression to drop in response. 

"You read my file, right?"

"No," Billie replied in confusion. "Was... was I supposed to?"

"No, I just..." Hana said, slipping in a stunned silence. "I'm so used to being treated as a 'thing' by the Foundation, an object, an anomaly -- so I guess it's just nice to be seen as a girl first?"

"I get it," Billie commiserated. "I'm not a formal anomaly, but... my condition is anomalous, at least, according to my mom. She's been trying to solve it as long as I can remember, and if you knew the number of people she has paraded through my exams, to 'study the mysterious anomaly'... Yeah, I definitely know what you mean."

"Do you wish... do you ever wish that you could just be normal?"

"Who wouldn't?" Billie paused, once again aware of how close she was to her crush. "But, I mean... It meant we got to meet, right? And I think that's pretty cool."

"Yeah," Hana nodded, grinning. "I'm glad we met too."

Before Billie inadvertently released a squeal in response, she let go of Hana, turning to change the record. "Let me put something else on, one second."

"No worries," Hana said, relaxing back onto the beanbag chair. "I'm surprised, I didn't think I would like anything this hardcore, but--"

Billie laughed, interrupting Hana. "//This// isn't hardcore, Hana. Trust me."

"Okay, well," Hana replied, embarrassed. "I didn't think I could like music like this. You've got good taste. Did you ever think about like... being a DJ or something?"

"You know," Billie said, focused on the task at hand. "I did, but -- can you imagine that conversation? 'Sorry mom, I don't want to work at the Foundation, I'd rather be a shock jockey on the other side of the Veil!' Yeah, right."

"Well, I mean," Hana thought aloud. "There have to be anomalous radio stations, right?"

"Sure, but, can you think of any that would be 'Foundation-approved'?" Billie wanted to let herself dream, but her mother's voice reminded her that being realistic was the best way to avoid disappointment.

"Well," Hana said, in a moment of inspiration. "Why don't we make one?"

"Make one what?"

"A radio station?" Hana replied, unsure of herself.

"I mean," Billie stopped, turning to look at Hana, leaning back against her table. "Would anybody listen?"

"Does it matter?" Hana fired back, before clarifying. "But, I would listen. I'm sure others would too, you never know."

"Yeah, but," Billie immediately replied, shaking her head. "I have an actual job to do here, there's no way I would have the time."

"Really?" Hana asked, incredulous. "Look around, Billie -- you know, I almost forgot how much we had to do today, given, well, the lack of assignment?"

"Shouldn't we, like... I don't know, practice something?"

"Billie, trust me on this one." Hana comforted Billie, with a soft look. "I've run missions before, and... well, you never know when you're going to get your next downtime. So, I've learned to fully embrace any free time I have, to do what I want to do, you know? Wouldn't it be fun? The two of us, running a radio station for SITE?"

"You... you would want to help?" Billie could feel her nails digging into the edge of the table, gripping it tight. //Please say ye--//

"Of course I would!" Hana nearly shouted, jumping back up. "I might not have the taste in music you do, but -- I mean, we'd get to hang out, right?"

"Yeah," Billie said. "We'd be alone in a small recording room, so if you want to call that hanging out--"

"And I do," Hana interjected.

"Then..." Billie bit her lip, stopping for a second, playing with the edge of her nails. She took a deep breath in through her nose, gathered all of her courage, and muttered, "let's do it?"

"Hell yeah!" Hana said, practically bouncing. "Wanna go ask Heather?"

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

"She has a soft spot for me," Hana turned back, smirking. "So that means she has to like you too."

//Hana likes me?// Billie thought, as she silently nodded, following the determined Hana. //No way, but... if I get to spend more time with her, maybe she'll... just be cool, Billie. She's a friend first. Don't ruin that.//

She repeated that thought, over and over, like a mantra -- even though a large part of her wanted to ruin their friendship, in the best way possible.

-----

"Hey, Heath." 

Heather looked up from the pile of paperwork on her desk to find the sight of Hana's signature letterman, unable to keep a grin off of her face. But, following in the shadows, Heather noticed another familiar figure slink in.

//Validation,// she thought, smirking. "Hana, Billie! Have you two been having fun without me?"

Both girls deadpanned, staring back at Heather. Of course, seeing the subtle blush both wore, Heather knew she was on the right track.

"So, girls, what brings you into my office today?"

Hana opened her mouth to speak, but stopped herself. Instead, she turned to Billie, and smiled. Billie stepped forward. 

//Hana? Taking a backseat?// Heather thought to herself in mock shock. Unfortunately for her, as Director, she had learned that she couldn't say every impulsive thought she had aloud. Still, that didn't stop the thoughts from intruding. //I figured she was the top...//

"Hana and I were talking," Billie began, pulling Heather's focus back to pseudoreality. "And we thought it could be fun to have a radio station in SITE, or whatever. I don't know, maybe that's stupid."

//A radio station? That's... oddly normal.// Heather leaned back, mind racing. //I... I can't think of another site that has that, or at least, not one that uses it for anything but 'emergency reports'.//

"A radio station?" Heather paused for a moment, "Why?"

Heather had no issue with the idea, but, where's the fun in giving people what they want if they don't work for it? After all, she //had// promised Helena she would look after Billie.

//Independence is still new for her, isn't it?//

The pair looked at each other and then back to Heather. It was Billie that spoke first.

"I... Okay, so you know what it's like at Site-43, right? How the walls are cold concrete, but there is still this //warmth// that radiates throughout the entire site? How even when you're alone, you feel this pull, this... this sense that you are here as part of something bigger, a community." Billie finally looked directly at Heather, and she could see a fire within the short girl's eyes. "Music makes me feel that way. I want to help make SITE feel the same, you know?"

Billie stood still, fidgeting with her sleeves, while Heather held out for a few more seconds, just to let her squirm.

"Sure."

You could almost hear a pin drop, as Heather and Billie looked at each other in disbelief. Not a second later, Billie broke the silence.

"That's it? No more questions? Paperwork to fill out? Just, a 'sure'? I stood here, pouring my heart out, to justify this, and all you can say is 'sure'?" Billie glared, crossing her arms. "You're fucking with us, right?"

Heather laughed and leaned back in her chair.

"Nope, I'm not fucking with you. It's a good idea, we just... we don't need to get bogged down in process, not for something like this. You want to make a difference, right?" Heather turned to Hana. "Both of you care?"

"Of course I do," Hana said proudly. "I had the idea, but, there's no way I could do this without her."

Heather smirked, seeing the girls subtly drift closer together, as they waited for Heather to go on.

"So, here's the thing," Heather said, leaning forward in her chair. "You both want to do this, and SITE knows that as well as I do. No need to do paperwork in advance -- I'm sure SITE's already taken care of it. Now, you just need to take care of SITE in return, okay?"

"Of course, this place //loves// to take after its director." Hana grinned. "I wouldn't be surprised if we had to solve a riddle to actually get the broadcast started."

"No riddles," Heather said, grinning. "Well, I guess, nothing other than finding out where SITE decided to put it."

The trio laughed, and for the first time in a little while, Heather felt lighter, without the burden of responsibility. Part of her wished she could go on adventures like this again, no stakes, nobody waiting anxiously for her answer -- of course, the majority of her knew what she was doing was important.

//If I want to make a place that means something, like 43,// she thought, watching the two banter, smiles on their faces, //I'll gladly do what needs to be done.//

Of course, that mood only lasted for a half-second longer, as Omnia opened the door, stack of papers in tow.

"Your next meeting is here, mom." Omnia said, struggling to see over the massive stack she decided to carry all at once. "And I have some--"

"Paperwork. Yeah, I can see that." Heather rolled her eyes as she sat up, straightening her back, hearing the pop of her joints. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched closely as Hana and Billie spoke almost without speaking, as if they both knew what to do and where to go next. 

//I wonder if they realize it...// Heather paused, considering it. //Nah, I'll let them figure that one out on their own.//

Of course, Heather couldn't let them leave without having sharing an idea. "Oh, girls," Heather added, "Give me a couple of hours to figure something out, I had an idea about how we can let people listen to your station."

//I mean, we are in the Noosphere,// she thought, mind racing with plans. //Why not use it?//

-----

The notion of mapping SITE was laughable, given the fact that it was in a constant state of flux. Any map would either be inaccurate, or shortly disproven -- SITE seemed to have a level of spite towards those who tried to restrict it, and seemed to change just to throw any maps off. Heather and Lillian had both realized this weeks into living here, and decided that it wasn't a concern they had to deal with.

After all, if the SITE can predict your needs, shouldn't it help you find where to go?

As it turned out, however, that smooth adaptation to your desires while walking necessitated walking with purpose and unbound confidence that you were going the right way -- something that came naturally to the lovers, but was //not// shared by the population of SITE at large.

So, for all those who worked at SITE, besides a short list, finding their way was a bit like a late 90's adventure game -- full of logic that didn't make sense, and nearly impossible to get without assistance. Thankfully for Billie and Hana, Omnia had helpfully given them general directions on where to go.

And yet, despite that -- the pair still found themselves wandering, backtracking, and looking around in general confusion. It was a good half hour, when they finally checked another hallway in The Burrow, that they found their wish granted -- a desire that took the appearance of a new, unassuming doorway equidistant from their living chambers. There was a small placard outside the door that read '**.* FM -- The Halfway House'; they were certainly in the right place.

"Did you name it?" Hana asked, head tilting in confusion.

Billie shook her head, peering at the sign as if it would explain itself. "No. Did Heather?"

//Or did SITE?// the pair thought in silent unison.

"I mean..." Hana rambled, "it's not a bad name?"

"Yeah, I like it." Billie placed a hand on the knob, and with a silent assent from Hana, opened it, and stepped into their studio.

Now, most radio stations are split between two general areas -- one for the host, in a smaller room, where they can talk into their microphone without disruption, and another, where the sound technician would monitor the board, adjust the levels, and handle all of the difficult parts.

Billie had never seen a radio station -- well, at all, but -- definitely not one that placed the host and technician back to back, with barely enough room to move around. Some of the hardware was directly part of the walls, while the rest were strewn about the narrow room in pristine cardboard boxes, soundboards and relays wrapped tightly in plastic, making an already tight space that much more difficult to maneuver in. Billie barely managed to walk in, before Hana followed right behind her, warm breath cascading down the back of her neck.

Billie could feel her heart start pounding at the sight and sensation. 

//Did Heather make the room this small? It works for what we need to do but... god we're going to be right on top of each other setting this up. Let alone actually running it!//

The smile on Hana's face helped, though -- especially getting to see it this close up.

"Well, it looks like I won't need to go to the gym today." Hana laughed, nudging Billie with her elbow. "We should have this set up in no time, and then we can get back to dancing, yeah?"

Billie's face burned as Hana entered further into the room, like an excited child on Christmas -- though she wasn't sure if it was from Hana's words, or her own anxiety. Either way, she couldn't deny that Hana having to squeeze past her was nice.

Hana, a seemingly unending source of energy, wasted no time cutting along the clear lines of tape before discarding the beige shells into the hallway behind them. The moment the boxes touched the carpet, they seemed to disappear entirely to nothingness, as if recognizing their purpose had changed from storage to waste. Abstracted into another problem, for another day, it appeared.

As Billie assessed the sound system, she let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, it doesn't look that bad." Billie joined Hana on the ground beside a turntable, inspecting the cables. "Seems like it's mostly put together, we just need to move things into the right place, tighten some loose screws, and connect a few cables."

"You make it sound easy," Hana teased, grinning. She removed her jacket and placed it limply on the door knob. "You'll just have to give me orders, 'handler', since you're the expert here."

"I..." Billie stammered as her brain short-circuited, finding another device to inspect in a panic. "Okay, why don't we start with the soundboard? If you can put those pieces onto the rack over there, I can start organizing the cables, and then we can worry about wiring it all together?"

"As you wish!" Hana said with a cheeky grin, lifting a hefty soundboard with ease -- Billie watched as her muscles tensed, giving Hana's arms more definition. Before she could be caught, she buried her head in a nearby manual, to confirm her instincts.

//God,// Billie thought, //This **has** to be a dream, right?//

If it was, she didn't want to wake up.

-----

Hana knew //exactly// what she was doing. 

In a way, these things were like a process for her: after getting past the initial angst, the anxiety, the worry of what it meant to be involved with, well, someone like Billie, Hana entered a somewhat euthymic flow state where she could simply just enjoy the moment for what it was. The time it took for her to get there was somewhat variable; though she had spent much of the morning still somewhat off-kilter, Hana's mind was approaching that calm horizon now. It also helped that in the moments Billie's flushed cheeks didn't betray her, her eyes surely did. 

So what better way to reel her in closer than by making it easier to see what she so desperately wanted? 

Truthfully, the boxes were heavy, but Hana wasn't nearly above hiding the strain away to impress Billie. A flexed arm muscle here, an exaggerated stretch there-- bending over to pick up something that she had "accidentally" dropped just far enough away that Billie wouldn't be able to grab it, but close enough to watch Hana's every motion. 

But even in this newfound confidence, Hana couldn't help but be in her own head. 

//God I feel like I look like an idiot. Maybe I'm trying too hard to impress her.//

After placing a particularly heavy mixer down, Hana turned her head and met her wavy reflection in the contours of a jet black vinyl placed on the wall. She almost laughed at what she saw: when she was a child, her father had accompanied her on a field trip to a local zoo. While they were eating lunch, a smaller Hana watched as a peacock elegantly strutted through the rest area. She was almost immediately captivated by its wispy feathers, its deep blue and emerald green breast, and the white crest atop its head. This reverie was almost immediately broken when Hana's father noticed his daughter was suddenly wearing the contents of her sandwich, but it was something that remained with her nonetheless. In the current moment, Hana couldn't help but think of herself as that bird.

"Alright, this should be the last piece. Did you happen to get the cables together?" 

Hana turned to face Billie, who was clutching a cascade of black XLR cables, intermixed with colorful digital coaxial cables that snaked around her on the floor. Her face was almost pink, and she blinked before meeting Hana's eyes, as if her mind had been elsewhere entirely. Hana's smile was almost Cheshire, knowing //exactly// where Billie's eyes had been, at the very least.

//Maybe we could make those dreams of hers a reality this summer.// Hana wondered, hoping that Billie might feel the same way she did.

"Y-yeah, everything should be good to plug into the soundboard. Here," Billie rose slowly from the ground, pausing on one knee, before standing stiffly next to Hana. Her hands trembled as she struggled to reach behind the mixer and connect the XLR, but Hana could see her visibly wincing as she tried to get the right angle. Billie's fingers looked swollen, and she just couldn't quite get everything aligned properly; she clenched her fist in frustration, before Hana reached out, placing a hand atop Billie's and opening her palm. 

"May I?" 

Billie, somewhat begrudgingly, handed the bundle of cables to Hana, who was able to contort herself in such a way as to plug everything snugly into the console. In just a few short seconds, the task was done. Hana looked up at Billie, and saw her looking uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I--", Billie tried to explain, grasping for the words. "I know what to do it's just... sometimes it's hard to do stuff like this. Either it hurts too much, I can't maneuver into the right place, or I just... fuck, like, my body just //can't// sometimes. You know?"

Hana smiled at her, before looking back down at the console.

"It's okay! You don't have to apologize for anything." She laughed. "I've been playing stringed instruments since I could write my name, so I'm quite good with my hands."

Hana watched as Billie's face turned a bright red, as she blinked and shook her head as an attempt to re-center herself. All Hana could do was grin. 

//Your move, Forsythe.// 

-----

Billie hadn't been able to stop thinking about those hands as the two girls quickly kept the pace up, and before they knew it, the station was set up and ready to go. She didn't quite know how to respond to Hana's comment; the unexpectedness of it, paired with a blur of thoughts better left unsaid, formed a pit in her stomach that ate anything that could have continued moving things forward. 

//Next time, next time I will say something to catch her off guard.// 

With nothing to do, Hana and Billie had moved to the floor, backs against the metal frames, chatting aimlessly about nothing.

"I can't stand tile floors," Hana said lazily. "I just... I love the feeling of carpet under my bare feet."

Billie looked down in confusion -- but, no, Hana still had her shoes on. She paused, and was immediately caught off guard when she felt Hana's hand touching her face, brushing a loose strand of hair out of the way, tucking it behind Billie's ear.

Billie looked up, and saw Hana staring at her, intensely, directly, inches away. She was speechless, her heart racing faster than it had all day -- as if the two subsisted only on dramatic irony, it was at that exact moment the pair heard a knock on the door, a second before Lillian opened it, Heather bouncing behind her. 

Hana quickly pulled back, as the pair looked at the memetic mavens in embarrassment.

"Pay up," Heather said, hip cocked to the side. Lillian grumbled, digging through her pockets.

"I'll pay you later."

Heather raised an eyebrow, to which Lillian responded in kind. The two looked at each other for a few seconds, before turning back to Hana and Billie, who were still frozen like a deer in the headlights.

"What?" Lillian asked, "Didn't your mothers teach you not to stare?"

"Were you..." Hana began, unsure.

"Did you fucking bet on us?" Billie exclaimed with complete bewilderment.

"No," Lillian said, "I didn't 'fucking bet' on you two, //technically//, I bet on 'you two fucking'."

"Heather?" Hana said, mortified, hoping for an ally in this. Heather just grinned, with a signature smirk.

"What? I bet you wouldn't be!" Heather giggled, watching the two squirm in unison, before grabbing Lillian and pulling her closer. "Anyways, we should probably do what we're here for."

"What?" Lillian asked, almost growling at Heather. "To show them how it's done?"

"How did you know the station was ready?" Billie asked, trying to move onto //any// new topic. Thankfully, Heather obliged.

"Omnia told us it was ready, and then it only took us another fifteen to finish the solution."

"The solution?" Hana glanced at Billie, who shared her confusion.

"You know," Lillian drawled, "for the radio, so that people can listen to it. I assumed that you weren't just going to... I don't know, broadcast to a total audience of nobody?"

"So?"

Heather reached into her pocket, and pulled out a folded slip of crisp cream paper.

"This is how people are going to listen to your broadcasts." She held it out, expectantly, as the girls stared in confusion.

"Heather, you know I love your games as much as the next person, but--" Hana began, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, fine. We made you a cognitohazard."

"You... you made us a cognitohazard?"

"What?" Lillian said. "Like it's hard?"

Billie was the first to act, grabbing the paper from Heather and unfolding it. On the inside was a black sigil, seeming to ebb and flow, like soundwaves on an oscilloscope; it pulsed, as if to an inaudible beat.

"Did you just stare at a cognitohazard without knowing what it did?" Heather asked, pinching the bridge of her nose as Billie looked up in chagrin, shrugging.

"I figured if you wanted us dead, there were easier ways."

"God!" Lillian said, cackling. "I still don't know how you came out of fucking Helena. You're much more entertaining."

"Th-- thank you?"

"We'll talk about cognitohazard safety later," Heather said, sighing as the responsible one in the conversation. "We've made this so that people can 'tune in' to the SITE radio-- nice name, by the way."

"SITE came up with it," Hana interjected, which did manage to pause Heather's spiel in it's tracks, if only for a second.

"Huh. That's a new one. Anyways, we're not going to bore you with the details--"

"Not that you would understand them--" Lillian interjected snarkily.

"Hush. Essentially, this isn't //really// a radio station, since, well, it doesn't broadcast a radio signal."

"So, what does it do?"

"It broadcasts an idea, deep into the Noosphere -- a conceptual transmission, if you will. This cognitohazard, when you look at it, lets you hear the signal, like a thought in your own mind."

"Is that... does the Foundation know about this?" Hana asked, hesitantly

Heather brushed the concern off, as if the Foundation's regulations were nothing more that suggestions. "It's fine. Do you want to give it a shot?"

"Sure," Billie said, confidently. "I've already looked, so I should be 'tuned in', right?"

"Yep," Lillian said, bouncing over and grabbing a vinyl from the shelf. "Not a bad taste you've got here, Forsythe. Do you mind?"

"By all means," Billie replied, waiting for anything to happen. Lillian put the record on the turntable with ease, flicked a handful of switches, and not a moment later -- Billie heard the music, clear as day, dripping out of the ether, reverberating with a warm, honey-like tone.

"Oh, wow," she said, blinking. "And you don't hear this?"

The other three shook their heads.

"It's silent in here. I don't think I hooked up the speakers right," Hana said as she rubbed the back of her neck, playing it off. "Pass me the paper, I want to try."

Heather and Lillian shared a quick grin, satisfied with another successful moment of conceptual chaos, as Hana looked at the memetic hazard, eyes going wide in reaction.

"Wow," she said, looking up at the two. "Does it only do the music?"

"Nope! It does everything. Here, Billie, come over here and say something into the mic, whispering."

Billie stood, nodding, as she approached the cardioid mic suspended from an arm. Hana watched her get closer, pausing to think of something to say, before leaning in, covering her mouth and whispering.

//"You're listening to the sweet, supple tones of The Halfway House, SITE's radio. How do I sound, Han?"//

Hana felt a shiver go down her spine as the gentle whispers of Billie's voice echoed in her mind, nearly stunning her into silence. She gulped nervously, sure that the flush was evident on her cheeks, as her mind raced about other things Billie could whisper, that only she would get to hear.

"How do-- How do you stop listening?" Hana stammered, as Heather and Lillian stood, smirking.

"I'm really proud of this," Lillian said, brushing her hair back in obvious showwomanship. "Turn it sideways, and look again."

Hana did as told, and the sound cut out, stopping on a dime.

"So," Heather said, smiling. "What do you think? Fucking cool, right?"

"Yeah," Billie said, excitement building. "Really fucking cool."

"Well, don't let us keep you from... more fun activities," Lillian teased, as she lazily moved towards the door. "And just... tell us-- no, tell Heather if something goes wrong. I probably won't care enough to help."

"Of course you wouldn't," Hana bit back, shaking her head. "Come on Billie, let's do some more testing tonight, yeah?"

Billie nodded, and Heather turned to follow her partner out. After all, they had their //own// fun to get up to -- Lillian's debt remained unpaid, and Heather was determined to collect it.

In //full//.

-----

Hana watched as Billie moved back and forth across the soundboard, flipping switches and twisting dials with one hand, while holding steady a thick manual with her other. She was focused, eyes narrowed, muttering incomprehensibly to herself; there was a considerable amount of warmth in their companionship, despite Billie always being quite cold.

Just not with her.

Billie had a certain naivety to her that Hana found quite charming, and she was absolutely enamored with watching Billie's complexion change whenever Hana brushed against her, or how she always tripped on her words as Hana not so subtly tried to move things steadily along. It was almost addicting, in a way. Even now as Hana's eyes followed her around the room, she imagined more and more ways to make Billie flustered, imagined what she looked like under all that baggy clothing, and imagined what more she would discover this summer as the distance between them closed more and more.

But, after a sufficient period of viewing, Billie let out a relieved sigh and looked at Hana with a smile.

"Alright, we should be good to do our first broadcast... if you're interested in joining me of course."

Hana took an exaggerated look around the room, and placed a hand on her chest. 

"Me? Oh, Billie, I would be //honored// to host with you."

"//Pfffft//. Shut up." Billie lightly punched Hana's shoulder, and passed her a pair of headphones. "For the echo, unless you want to hear the sound of your voice in your head." 

Hana grabbed the headphones and let them rest on her shoulders. "I think I would rather hear yours instead." she said, with a wink, not noticing that Billie had already donned her own pair of headphones. She watched as Billie unfolded the slip of paper, and followed shortly after, watching the pulsing symbol come to life. Billie turned to her, and with a nod, began speaking. 

//"Welcome to the first broadcast of The Halfway House, SITE's official radio station. I'm your host Billie Forsythe--"//

//"-- and I'm Hana Thompson--"//

//"--and for the next hour we will be delivering non-stop tunes to you while you work."//

Billie then got to work, flicking a collection of switches and moving a slider downwards, before leaning back into her chair. She wore the largest smile on her face that Hana could remember seeing since they first met. 

"God, that was so cool." Billie muttered. 

"You really sounded like a proper radio host there." Hana grinned. "Cheesy sendoff and all." 

"Yeah well, I had a lot of time to learn from the best." 

The pair laughed, allowing the reverberation of joy to slowly be absorbed by the soft foam of the far wall. There was no discomfort in the silence that followed, and neither of the girls were inclined to disrupt it anytime soon.

The music played on, and it was beautiful.

-----

//"by the Talking Heads. Coming up in just a few, we've got a--"//

Billie had been talking, having slipped into the rhythm of hosting a radio show, when a burst of static filled her headphones. She ripped them off, head throbbing in pain, coronas appearing around the lights in the room. She blinked, trying to fight through the oncoming migraine, as she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Ye-- yeah. What was that static? Did you bump a cable or--"

"Hey!" Hana held her hands out, placating Billie. "I swear, I didn't touch anything."

"Well if you didn't..." Billie pushed through the pain, finding her center and fighting the headache. "Can you play that back?"

"No, but, I figured out how to output to the speakers." Hana flipped a few switches, sliding a node up, as the sound of a quiet static filled the room. "Neat, huh?"

The girls listened to the quiet hum of static, looking between each other in confusion.

"Maybe... maybe the Noosphere just does that?" Billie looked to Hana for guidance. "You know Heather, has she said anything about the Noosphere being... noisy?"

"No?" Hana paused, frowning. "I... she doesn't really tell me things like that. We're friends, I think, but I sometimes feel like she still treats me like a ki--"

//"--come in, can you hear us?"//

Hana and Billie froze, feeling like the floor had been ripped away in an instant.

"Is... is that for us?" Billie began to rock back and forth slowly. "They're not trying to reach us, are the--"

//"Command here. What is progress looking like?"//

"No," Hana said, any kindness drained from her voice as she fell into the role she had been training for. "No, that's not about us. Billie, grab that headset, I need you to listen in closer."

Billie nodded, picking up the earphones, and putting them on, uncovering her left ear. Wearing them, she could hear the same buzzing static, but through that, whispers of noise in the background.

"Footsteps." Billie nodded, facing Hana. "I can hear footsteps."

//"We're approaching the target, I'd say we're about **####** contextual links away."//

"How many? What else can you hear?" Hana was rapidly scribbling down notes on a piece of paper, hurriedly in shorthand. "Any detail."

"Anything?"

"Anything. No matter how small."

"I..." Billie closed her eyes, and focused, just like she had done so many times before. //Kinda.// Back then, it had been in the tunnels underneath 43, alone, looking for something interesting, though there wasn't much but hissing pipes and cold concrete, sometimes the occasional rat. Now? This seemed //slightly// more important and time sensitive.

But there, through the static and the soft fall of feet, was a steady, rhythmic beep. Deeper in the mix, still, Billie strained to hear but picked out a familiar background sound: it was the swirling clouds of the Noosphere above. She //knew// it.

"They're in the Noosphere."

"What?" Hana blinked. "Run that one by me again, how did you--"

"I can hear the noise of the Noosphere, I remember it from when Heather opened the door, and when you were talking on your mission. Trust me, they're in there."

"Shit, okay," Hana began to type on a nearby terminal, pulling up an interface -- Billie recognized it as the Noospheric monitoring system. Hana began to fumble, clicking around in confusion, before standing up in a hurry. 

//"Is the payload ready?"//

//Payload? Fuck, there's no time.// Billie nudged Hana out of the way, moving to share the same seat. //Only because this is a crisis,// she rationalized to herself, despite feeling the heat on her cheeks.

"Let me, Heather ran me through this software. You were going to track the signal, right?"

"Yeah, I just--"

Billie's fingers flew across the keyboard, moving with the practiced grace of somebody who had spent far too long behind a computer monitor instead of being outside.

"They're definitely in the Noosphere, I've pinned it down to a general conceptual zone." Billie pointed on the screen to a blinking dot, nestled in the middle of conceptual space. "They were broadcasting on the same Noospheric piggyback, the signals crashed, and we ended up hearing them. Let me try and narrow down--"

//"Good to go. Next time you hear from us, there won't be a target to remember. Over and out."//

The signal cut out, and the dot disappeared from the monitor; Billie had managed to narrow it down to a cluster of concepts, but it was still a large contextual space, and they had no idea of knowing where the 'target' was.

"Fuck."

//Hana put that eloquently,// Billie thought, hand on her head. "So..."

"Yeah?"

"We have to tell Heather, don't we?"

"I think we can avoid that. Didn't you see the way they were looking at each other?"

"Right." Billie blushed. "What do we do then?"

"I think it's time I talked to my new boss."

-----

Orville Pennrose was the kind of man who never truly moved into a new place. Not only because of his countless trinkets from his travels, but, he simply hated unpacking boxes. There was something horrible about dredging up pieces of the past, just to put them back into another box.

//Yes, this one may slide,// he thought, closing the drawer in front of him, //but a box is still a box.//

His office was shaping up nicely, if he did say so himself; though there was still some work to do, some dusting, light rearranging, and generally setting in, it was as close to comfortable as a job was meant to be. Just before he could call it for the day-- there was a knock at his door.

"Come in." Orville didn't bother to turn, watching the door open from the reflection in a glass cabinet. He plucked an ornate chess piece from one of the shelves, allowing a crystalline knight to rest in his hand. The door opened gingerly, revealing Hana, a member of his CTF. They hadn't spoken yet, but he recognized her from her dossier.

//An anomaly, and an unstable one at that.// He didn't quite mind, rather, it was a fact, and he needed to consider the potential conflicts that may arise. Her profile had detailed her past missions, and the notes on her profile from Adams were mostly positive. //I can work with her, make her better than she is.//

Just as he had, many times before.

Another figure trailed in after her; another member of his team, but on the support end, Hana's handler, Forsythe. Those were ones he paid less attention to; he was better on the ground, getting his boots dirty, rather than watching from far above.

Orville turned around, watching as Billie flinched, and Hana moved in front of her, ever so slightly. //Just enough to be intentional.//

"Yes?"

"Hello, sir. I'm Agent Thompson, I don't think we've spoken yet."

"Agent Thompson, is this important? I was about to leave for the day, and given your lack of assignment, I cannot imagine this is time-sensiti--"

"It is." Forsythe nearly gasped out, exhaling. 

//Forsythe is bold.// Pennrose looked between the two, and saw just enough hints of anxiety that, for the moment, he elected to humor them, and set the chess piece down on his desk.

"What is so critical it must be handled //now//?"

Hana passed a paper printout, turning it to face him.

"We were monitoring the Noosphere--"

"How?"

"We have a radio station."

"I'm sorry? Forsythe, run that by me again."

Billie stepped forward, looking to Hana for support, who extended a hand and squeezed. Orville grinned, though not nearly enough for it to be visible. //Well, at least they trust each other.//

"Hana and-- Agent Thompson and I started a 'radio station' that operates by broadcasting on Noospheric signals. We were testing it today, when we overheard a signal collision, from a group that we found in the Noosphere."

"What were they doing? Do you know who they are?"

Hana shook her head. "No idea. They talked about some sort of trial, and a payload, but..." Hana had trailed off, seeing the look on his face.

//They came to me, so let's push them.// Orville set the paper down, and crossed his arms. //What kind of person is Agent Thompson?//

"Why did you bring this to me? Congratulations, you two, you heard some radio chatter. Where I come from, people talk on radios all the time, and this is no more meaningful than a set of emails talking about a 'weapon'. What is the point in all of this?"

Hana stepped forward without hesitation, staring him down.

"Sir, with all due respect -- I think you are dismissing this too quickly. The way they were talking... I think they're trying to destroy an idea."

"How?"

The two were both silent, looking between each other. Hana had dropped her gaze, while Billie fidgeted with her sleeves. //Perhaps, a bit too far. After all, they are still so youn--//

"I don't know," Hana said, looking back up, fire burning within. "And that scares me, sir."

Orville snorted, uncrossing his arms.

"Okay, fine. Your first mission is to track down and investigate this... 'rogue group' in the Noosphere. Congratulations, was that all?"

"Yes sir, thank you, sir."

Hana and Billie retreated from his office, and before they were out of his earshot, he heard Hana squeal in excitement, as Billie let out a sigh of relief.

//She's going to be a pain in my ass, I can tell. Interesting, but a fucking pain.//

-----

"Did you manage to get any more information?" Hana walked through the Noospheric abyss, having grown more comfortable in her exploration of the void. She trailed her hand through a field of conceptual debris, watching as it shifted and reacted to her extended fingers.

"Yeah, I've tracked their signal further. Keep going straight for the next while, and you'll come to a T-junction. Take the path to the right."

"Got it." Hana continued walking, with renewed vigor. "So, what did you think about Pennrose?"

"Is... is this a secure channel?" The girls laughed, and Hana welcomed the companionship.

"I liked him, but... I mean, I don't really have a lot to compare him to. He's certainly no Adams"

"He was..." Billie was quiet, as if digging for the right words. "I think he's a talented asshole."

"Oh? Those are pretty bold words for you, Billie, didn't think you had it in you!"

"Shut up. I just... look, I've been around people just like him my entire life. I'm not trying to say that he's not talented, or that he's a dick for no reason, but, I can't say he's not one. Yes, he probably backs that up with skill, experience, something, but, don't we already have a Lillian?"

Hana snorted, watching the signal blinking on a heads-up monitor. She wasn't far away from her estimation -- of course, in the Noosphere, estimation was about as good as anything else.

"I don't know," Hana replied, thinking about Adams. "I think he's putting on an act, you know? There was something he wasn't saying, and I want to believe he has good intentions."

"Sure." Billie snorted. "just like Lillian is going to apologize for being a raging c--"

"I'm at the junction," Hana said, saving Billie from her own words. "How far away is the signal from here?"

"You should..."

"I should what?"

"You should be able to see it."

Hana stared out into the Noospheric plane, trying to see any level of detail. On the way over, the ground had slowly shifted to a concrete-like appearance, and she saw the occasional pillar, column or cubicle decorated with office supplies and tchotchkes, but where she was looking now?

There was nothing.

"I... I don't see anything Billie. Are you sure this is the right place?"

Hana began to advance trying to get a lay of the land.

"You should be almost on top of the signal now, that was where I detected their last pulse. Can you see anything? There should be a concept, //right there//."

"And I'm telling you, there's //nothing.//"

"Nothing nothing, or Noosphere nothing?"

It took Hana a second to wrap her mind around that one, and she kept pacing as she did. She was about to reply when--

"Hana!" Billie's voice pierced through her headset. "Do not fucking move."

"What?"

"I'm getting a reading that... it doesn't make any sense, this..."

"What is it? Should I be worried?" Hana was bouncing in anticipation, sweating. She looked around, trying to see what could be causing a reaction like that but...

"It says that there is no concept there. But there was one, back when we started tracking them!"

And then, Hana saw it.

When you spend a long time going at a high speed in a car, your ability to judge how fast you are moving is twisted, something called velocitization. When you are wandering the Noospheric abyss for a long time, the nothing blends together, and you start to have trouble distinguishing between what is the Noospheric nothing, and what is actually nothing.

Looking down, just inches in front of her feet, she didn't see the expected shimmering of the Noospheric plane that she walked here on. She didn't see the subtle shift of a conceptual material, or the blinking of a concept that was changing before her eyes.

She saw the abyss, the //true// abyss, for the first time in a very long time. The Noosphere before her bent and contorted itself, bloating and collapsing, lensing as though eating the very combination of light and ideas around her.

And suddenly, it was Prom Night, and Hana Thompson was the queen, standing on stage before the multitude of faces she could no longer recognize. It was Prom Night, and she was sinking impossibly deeper and deeper into the school's pool, being drawn towards a darkness that she would never be able to swim back from, if she had wanted to at all.  

It was Prom Night, and it was the present, and once more the abyss called her name.  

"I-I figured out what happened."

Her mind screamed at her to run as fast and far away as she could get, and she felt every urge to pull her jacket closer to assure herself that she was real. 

"What is it?" Billie sounded anxious, scared even. //Is she worried about... me?//

"Whatever they did? It worked. There's //nothing// here, literally. There is a giant hole in the Noosphere, down into the abyss. It's..."

//It's so cold.//

"You should come back, and we can figure out what to do next."

Hana gazed into nothingness, and she felt the Noosphere begin to peel away around her. From within nothingness, Hana began to hear voices, calling to her, began to hear laughing and the slightly off-beat mixing of Billboard's Top-25 songs played from a DJ. And then, she once more found herself floating in the water, as a collection of figures swam around her. From within nothingness, a mass of grasping hands and fingers slowly extended upwards, grabbing at Hana's feet and legs and pulling her closer and closer before-- 

"Hana, you still with me?" And everything became clearer around her.

"Ye-- yeah, okay..." She slowly took a step back, and then another, and again, and again, and again, until she was back at the junction, far away from the hole into the abyss.

She was still frozen, as if submerged in icy water, unable to claw herself above the surface. The abyss that Hana had worked so hard to expel from her memory, the wound she had worked so hard to try to mend, finally set its gaze upon her. 

And all she could do was stare back.

-----

Hana stumbled through the door that led to the safe haven that was meant to be SITE. There wasn't a definite point where she could tell when the Noosphere ended and the movie theater-like carpeting of floor began, but the change of scenery did very little to ease the railroad spike migraine that burrowed itself deep into her head. Even when she dropped to all fours, coughing as she tried to drink in the air around her, there was little relief; the air smelled of lacquer and moldy foam soaked with spray deodorant. SITE seemed to respond to these thoughts in kind. 

From across the room, Hana saw Billie, quite concerned, quickly move from behind her control panel to meet her at the door. 

"Please help me," was all Hana could mutter as she reached a hand out. Right before she could feel Billie take it, a moment before the girl's touch could help ground her, she drew her hand back, a rush of bile raising in her throat. 

//She can't know what happened.//

Mustering what little focus she could, Hana quickly shot up and bolted, ducking into a nearby maintenance closet and closing the door behind her. She closed her eyes as she pressed her back against the metal door with as much of her weight as she could. The surface provided a sturdy return, but did very little to ease her malaise. 

"It's not real, Hana. It's not real. They fixed you, remember? You're just seeing things." Hana brought her knees to her chest, hoping that the compactness would return her to euthymia. "It's not real and it can't hurt you anymore." 

There was a soft //tap, tap, tap// on the door behind her. 

"Hana? Are you alright? Talk to me." 

//She can't know what happened.// 

-----

Billie looked at her wrist, uncomfortable shifting her watch. It wasn't like Hana to act like... this. The entire time they'd known each other, not once had Billie seen that confident demeanor waver. Whatever Hana had seen out there had definitely spooked her, bad, and that scared Billie.

She tried knocking softly on the metal door again.

"Hana? Hey, you've been in there for a while now. Are you still with me?"

Only silence answered.

//Hana this isn't like you. Say something. Please.//

"I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry..." a voice weakly murmured from the other side of the door. Billie pushed herself closer to it, trying to get a better listen. 

"Hana?" 

"I can't escape it. It just keeps finding me." Hana retched and began coughing. "I can't even close my eyes without seeing them." 

Billie carefully tried the handle, finding it unlocked. 

//She's never going to let me in if she's leaning against the door. Unless...// Billie thought back to her training, and the many //many// lectures her mother had given her about interacting with patients in distress. 

"Hana, you've been in there for half an hour. I'm worried about you." 

"You can't see me like this, Billie. I-I'm... just not ready yet. I'm sorry." 

"Do you trust me?" Silence. Billie could hear Hana shuffle. 

"I do." 

"I'm going to close my eyes and come sit with you, alright? We can figure this out together." 

Another pause. 

"Do you promise?" 

"I promise, Hana. I would never do anything to hurt you." 

Billie heard more shuffling, and the sound of metallic reverberation as a weight removed itself from behind the door. 

//I really hope this works.// 

She wrapped her hand around the handle, shut her eyes, and entered the closet. Although she expected to trip over all matter of tool or loose wire, the path forward was clear, as if the tools had put themselves away and the wires slithered under the nearest shelving unit. But still, Billie walked forward, her arms extended, prodding at the walls as she walked forward, before finally touching something soft. She opened her eyes just a sliver, and was met with a field of baby blue caught on a protruding piece of metal.

On the floor right beside her, curled in the fetal position, was Hana, quietly sobbing. 

"You know, when we first started talking this summer, you told me that you would help me be brave." She grabbed Hana's jacket and held it outwards. With a measured scoop, she wrapped Hana in her jacket and held the girl close to her chest, leaning into her, praying that whatever she was doing would work. "Please, let me help by returning the favor."

She watched Hana's expression soften as the weight of her body leaned into Billie, tangling them together on the ground. Billie let out a sigh of relief, and with the arm that wasn't pinned underneath Hana, moved patch of hair out from in front of the girl's eyes.

"Billie?" Hana said, weakly.

"I'm here, Hana. I'm not going anywhere." 

-----

Heather Garrison was once again, in her office, staring down her computer terminal. This time, instead of the dull monotony that plagued her, she was working on something far more fun. A schematic turned around on her screen, digital callouts leading to memetic arrays.

//Nonsense unless you know exactly what they mean.// Heather was, in fact, one of two people who understood them. //But I think this should work.//

She leaned back in her desk chair, cracking her neck, straining at her latent soreness. A constant parade of projects danced through her mind of what to start working on next, a cavalcade of chaos that she called her font of inspiration beckoning, a feast for her mind.

Her door opening decided that for her.

"Heather!" Billie burst in, in an uncharacteristically Hana-esque display of recklessness. "There's an emergency."

//Sure there is.// Watching Hana follow her in, winded, face red, looking away from her; Heather gave it slightly more weight than she normally would have.

"Pennrose told me about your little excursion. Have fun chasing ghosts?"

"Heath," Hana said, meekly. "This is... this is serious."

Amusement dropped and concern raised, Heather stood from her desk, guiding the girls to a pair of loveseats, arranged around a table. She showed them to their seats and turned away, pausing.

//Okay, let's review. Pennrose said they heard a transmission about some group with a weapon on the radio. Like him, I figured it was nothing. But, if they're...//

"What did you find? How many combatants were there?" Heather sat, crossing one leg over the other, leaning forward. "Are you hurt?"

Hana sat, silent, shell-shocked it seemed, while Billie burst out, gripping Hana's hand, knuckles white.

"We didn't find any combatants, that's just the thing." Billie looked to Hana, and then continued. "When Hana went to the source of the signal, there was..."

"A monster?" Heather scoffed.

"No." Hana looked at her, directly, pleading for the Heather who had once [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/deadgirlwalking|snuck]]] her out of her containment cell. "Heather, there was nothing there."

//Nothing? This isn't... why the hell are they so worked up about...// Heather stopped herself, considering the terror she still saw in Hana's gaze. //Okay, say that they are rightly worried about--//

"As in, a hole in the Noosphere?"

Hana nodded.

//Fuck.// Heather tried not to let that show. "Right, well... yeah, I can see why you two were concerned. A hole in the Noosphere that shouldn't be there is... worrisome. Thank you two for letting me know. Was there anything else?"

"What?" Billie stared at her, dumbfounded. "It's 'worrisome'? That's it?"

"What do we do next?" Hana was bolder now, incensed. "Are we going to track them down, do we--"

"We?" Heather held out her hands. "Slow down there girls. You don't have to do anything. So, I'd say, the answer is 'don't worry about it'!"

//I need to talk to Lillian and Omnia, this shouldn't b--//

"Don't worry about it?" Hana was yelling, on the verge of tears. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm... I faced down the fucking abyss and you're telling me to just relax? Are you seriou--"

"Hana, that's enough." Hana shut up, Heather having used her Director voice. "Yes. That is correct, I am telling you to //calm the fuck down//, and go do nothing."

"But--"

"But nothing." Heather glared at the two girls, frowning. "Don't you get it, Hana? Billie? You just told me that there is a group out there with the ability to erase things from the Noosphere, at will. Not erase a memory, not abstract an idea, they are //obliterating// the very concepts where they are. This is above your paygrade. Way above."

//It's not absence, I would know. I don't think there's a pattern screamer that close so who could it be? Fuck, I just need to get them out of here so I can figure out what's happening.//

"But Heather, Hana discovered it, shouldn't she--"

"Absolutely not." Heather stood up, shaking her head. "Billie, you might not know this, but Hana? She has a pretty fucking awful track record when it comes to dealing with memories and concepts. Just ask her about prom. That will tell you //exactly// why you two shouldn't be fucking dealing with this."

The room was silent. Hana's eyes met Heather, as the pained look of betrayal flashed over her face. 

"Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," the girls said in partial unison, rising from their seats, slamming the door behind them as they left the office.

//Finally.// Heather massaged her temples, idly pinging Lillian to come to her office ASAP. //What the fuck did these two stumble into?//

If Heather knew anything, and she often did: it was going to be a fucking mess.

//Was... was I too harsh?// Heather frowned, shaking her head. //No, not when the stakes are this high. This is what being a Director is, sometimes, you just need to be a bit of an asshole.//

She could dwell on how she could have handled that better another time, there were far more pressing matters at hand.

-----

[[div class="text-container-wrap"]]
+++ Hana <3
[[div class="text-container"]]
[[div class="sent"]]
[[span class="text"]]hey[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]you up[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="recv"]]
[[span class="text"]]Yeah[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]I can't sleep[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="sent"]]
[[span class="text"]]Heather was a dick.[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="recv"]]
[[span class="text"]]It's[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]It's fine.[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="sent"]]
[[span class="text"]]it's not fucking okay[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]sorry i just[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]she shouldn't have said that[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="recv"]]
[[span class="text"]]Heather can be a dick sometimes.[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]Just the first time I've been on the receiving end, I guess.[[/span]]
[[/div]]

[[div class="sent"]]
[[span class="text"]]you know what?[[/span]]
[[span class="text"]]meet me at the door to the noosphere[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="recv"]]
[[span class="text"]]Why?[[/span]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="sent"]]
[[span class="text"]]i... i think i need to see what you saw[[/span]]
[[/div]]

[[/div]]
[[/div]]

-----

Billie Forsythe wasn't sure that her plan was a good one. To be fair, she hadn't been given many opportunities in life to formulate ones, nor to execute them. She was, however, pretty sure that this plan was questionable, at best.

"Are we almost there?" Billie asked, pulling Hana with her through the Noosphere. "If... if you don't want to go there, I... it's okay to bail, you know that, right?"

"You wanted to see the abyss, right?"

Billie nodded. She had once, in another time, suspended herself before the emptiness and felt as if she could soar. She was besotted with the nothingness of the Noospheric abyss. //I need to see it again.//

"Then I want to take you there."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah." Hana gave her a soft smile. "You're with me, I think... I think I'll be alright."

The pair walked hand in hand, turning rocky, yet blank passages carved through thoughtspace, until Billie was a cavernous bowl open before there.

"We're here." Hana nodded to the empty expanse. "This is the nothing."

Billie kneeled down, staring at the surface of the Noosphere. There was a slight shimmer, a ripple of color, like heat rising from hot concrete on a summer's day, barely perceptible. It extended for ten, maybe twenty feet, and then...

//The abyss.//

"Can..." Billie bit her lip. "Do you think we can get closer?"

"How close do you want to get?"

//She's going to think I'm insane.// Billie steeled her courage.

"I want to... I want to sit on the edge with you."

Billie began to spiral, mind racing, thinking of all the things Hana could say. Hana stood there, transfixed, deep in thought, her neutral face turning more and more conflicted.

//Fuck, I shouldn't have push--//

"Okay." Hana nodded. "For-- For you."

//She's incredible.// Billie stared at her crush in awe, as Hana bravely stepped towards the abyss, inching closer and closer to the edge with her, their fingers interlaced. Billie felt her hand warming up, Hana's heat offsetting her natural cold, mixing between the two girls to a stasis, somewhere in between. //Body temperature,// her nurse-brain reminded her.

Hana stopped, beginning to sit down. Billie joined her, as they both scooted towards the edge of the Noosphere, inch by inch, until when she stuck her foot out, she felt nothing. Like a flat edge, there was a straight line, cut through the Noosphere, rounded, plummeting like a cliff-face. Billie carefully leaned forward looking down.

There was nothing below them. Complete and utter emptiness. A sight that she had longed to return to, longed to revisit. There was a temptation, as there always was for her, to plunge within. To embrace the forever abyss, to disappear forever, falling eternal, alone until the end.

This time, she felt Hana squeeze her hand.

//I... I can't. Not when there is something more to my life. Not... not now.//

Billie, resolute, leaned back, reclining, legs dangling over the edge, as she stared up at the flickering lights overhead.

"It's gorgeous here."

"You think?" Hana was lying back too, propped up on an elbow. "I... I just see the end. My--"

"Hey, you don't..." Billie looked at Hana, letting go of her hand to touch her shoulder. "You don't owe me anything. Heather shouldn't have said anything, I'm not going to think about it. You tell me when you're ready."

"I..." Hana's eyes began to water. "I want to tell you. I trust you, Billie."

Billie gulped, pit in her stomach, anxiety welling to the forefront. Her heart quickened, as Hana leaned into her touch. They both lay down, side by side, Billie's arm across Hana's shoulders, holding her close. As they looked up at the thoughts dancing overhead, Hana continued.

"Heather was talking about the reason I'm in containment. I... it was high school, and I was stupid. I just... I needed to be what I was meant to be, you know?"

"I think so."

"Right, homeschooled." Hana smiled, snickering. "I... I started to erase things. People. I... I wanted to be them, to be what they were, to be what I thought I deserved. I didn't care about who they were, I cared about who I could be."

Billie pulled Hana closer, as she quietly began to cry.

"I nearly drowned. I was in the pool, and they were pulling me in, deeper and deeper, into the nothingness, into the abyss, into..."

"Into somewhere just like this."

"Ye-- Yeah." Hana took some breaths to steady herself. "Somehow, I survived. But..."

"It's okay, Hana." Billie let go of her shoulders, so she could turn and look at Hana. Hana looked at her, tears falling down, smiling in a grimace.

"You must think I'm a monster."

"I could never think that."

Billie reached out, brushing the tears off of Hana's silken face. //Even when crying, she's so beautiful.//

"Then what are you thinking?" Hana swallowed, blinking, fighting her emotions, the tears slowing.

"I think that you are the bravest person I know." Billie brushed Hana's cheek, playing with her hair. "I think that you were young, and stupid, and I know that I've made mistakes that were just as bad. I just had a helicopter mom and an entire Foundation site to keep me from the same place you ended up."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Billie's heart soared as she saw Hana smile, a brilliant and magical sight. "Hana, you are so strong. You have been beaten down by the world, by being locked in containment, and yet... you still try, so fucking hard, all for other people. You're incredible, you know that?"

"No, I'm not." Hana sniffled, wiping at her face. She looked at Billie, blinking slowly. "Yo-- You're so nice."

It was Billie's turn to snort. "Not really. I just..." Billie froze, terrified about what she might say if she kept talking. Hana was gorgeous, painted by the flickering lights overhead, and Billie knew that if she didn't stop now, she might admit exactly what she felt.

"You... you just what?" Hana had reached out, first teasing Billie's hair out, before her hand settled on the nape of her neck, playing with the fuzz of her fade. "You can... you can say anything to me."

"I..." Billie stammered, face heating, unconsciously, reaching out with her hand, brushing an errant tear from Hana's face, coming to rest in Hana's mess of hair. "I don't want to say something wrong."

She felt Hana's hand crawl up the back of her neck, pressing more firmly against her head, as Hana looked at her, eyes full of want. "You..."

Billie couldn't take it any longer.

"I think that I really like you." Billie tightened her hand, feeling Hana's heartbeat increase with her touch. "You are so beautiful, and I just..."

"You..." Hana was pulling towards her as she did the same, her cherry lips parted just a hair. "You just what?"

"I just..." Billie was nearly whispering, as they looked into each other's eyes, inches apart now. "I... I want to kiss you."

"Okay."

They each pulled the other in, gently kissing at first as Billie's mind soared, metaphorical fireworks made real, expanding in the Noosphere overhead. She fell into the embrace, tasting Hana for the first time, reveling in the sweetness. Hana grabbed at her, pulling her closer, as the two rolled around, hungrily devouring each other.

After a minute, they separated. Billie felt like she was weightless. She stared at Hana's lips, saliva clinging between them, her tongue dancing on the edge.

An invitation to resume.

Billie leaned back over her, with pleasure, and their lips met again. Lying there, on the edge of the abyss, Hana and Billie spent the next hour finally letting their true feelings show. Their problems were forgotten.

They were together, and that was what mattered.

-----

[[include :scp-wiki:component:earthworm
| first=false | last=false | hub=yes
| previous-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/preordained-diagnosis| previous-title=Preordained Diagnosis
| next-url=/| next-title=Retrograde Amnesia
| hub-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forgotten-memories-hub| hub-title=Comorbidities — A Forgotten Memories Series
]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box
|author=Queerious & Astersquill]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

Stuck Song Syndrome

Module Styles

Inline Styles

Includes

CSS Classes

Page Source