Tall and Short Tales of the Thieves' Domain

Link to article: Tall and Short Tales of the Thieves' Domain.


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[[/module]]

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= [[size 150%]]Tall and Short Tales of the Thieves' Domain[[/size]]
-----
[[tabview]]
[[tab File Cover]]
[[div style="color: black; background:#FFFFFF url(http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/the-great-hippo/scp_trans.png) center no-repeat; float: center;"]]
Following Arsène Lupin's acquisition of [[[SCP-8136]]], he has engaged in a spree of theft and mischief targeting Foundation facilities and assets. Furthermore, he has apparently employed notable thieves and criminals from historical literature to aid him; thus far Robin Hood, Irene Adler, and Ishikawa Goemon have joined his campaign. Together they form GoI-348 ("[[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/wanted-the-thieves-domain | The Thieves' Domain]]]")

Lupin's //modus operandi// is largely consistent: he will obtain an SCP object file, release it into the public domain, then immediately steal the object in question. Where necessary he will obtain the file during or subsequent to its theft, though this is less common as it requires significant foreknowledge, or blind luck. The items themselves seemingly have no correlation, and Lupin has not been seen utilizing the stolen objects to assist in his thefts, suggesting that his motives are either ideologically driven or to entertain himself.

Despite the many differences in setting and difficulty between the Domain's current exploits and their adventures from their source material, they have continued to evade Foundation capture through a combination of skill and adaptability. It is also suspected that their nature as narrativistic entities renders the Foundation less able to deal with them, as the narrative structures they usually inhabit and are conceptually associated with typically result in outcomes in their favor.

To combat this, the Foundation has pulled an assortment of similar narrative entities into a task force: C. Auguste Dupin, Hercules Popeau, and Zenigata Heiji. Along with Foundation agent Detective Quinn Roscoe, they form MTF Kappa-16 ("Interpol"). As its membership is primarily composed of similarly narrativistic entities, it is believed that should any pataphysical forces be acting in favor of the Thieves' Domain, they can be overwhelmed or at least nullified by the identical forces which MTF Kappa-16 would likewise have claim to.

This file contains a semi-comprehensive list of documents related to the Thieves' Domain, as compiled by MTF Kappa-16.
[[/div]]
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@@@@
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[[=image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/the-containment-of-arsene-lupin/header.png style="width:80%;"]]

[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site-19

**Relevant Objects:** [[[SCP-3567]]] ("Chrono Wrap")

**Summary:** The first theft conducted by the Domain. The team was able to infiltrate Site-19 using credentials stolen from Site-19 by Lupin during his [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-containment-of-arsene-lupin | initial foray]]]. They disguised themselves as researchers temporarily assigned to SCP-3567 from Site-19, under the pretense that they were testing deliberate manipulation of the object's anomalous effects. Upon gaining access to SCP-3567's containment unit, Goemon applied rudimentary makeup to himself to give the illusion of advanced age, while the other members of the Domain stalled for time.

Upon returning, careful to avoid displaying his face to the chamber's security feed, Goemon produced a blinding flash using unknown means while seemingly activating SCP-3567. He claimed to have indeed reproduced its effects, switching places with his future self and transporting SCP-3567 along with it, and that the flash was the result of using a lighter to burst the bubble. In actuality, he had hidden SCP-3567 on his person during the flash. The members of the Domain were able to leave the Site post-testing without interference, taking SCP-3567 with them.

[[/div]]

------

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[[size 1.5em]] ##grey|Three6serpent
⁂serpentshandofficial## [[/size]]
@@ @@
@@ @@
[[size 1.5em]] ##black|Have you heard about the##  ##blue|#thievesdomain####black|? They're out here revealing the## ##blue|#scpfoundation####black|'s biggest secrets and files! They're doing god's work. :3##  [[/size]]
@@ @@
* [[size .8em]] ##grey|ECHOES## [[/size]][[size 1.1em]] ##blue| 532## [[/size]]
* [[size .8em]] ##grey|HUMS## [[/size]][[size 1.1em]] ##blue| 66## [[/size]]
@@ @@
[[size .8em]] ##grey|01:59 PM - 18 February 2025## [[/size]]
[[/div]]

-----

[[div class="dupin"]]
I confess I felt very much at home in the stately halls of Eckhart House; though English, their sensibilities mirrored almost perfectly our old, long-lost rustic manor back in Paris. Dupin, too, seemed more at ease at this Site-91 than in the cold sterility of its palindrome in the United States; at least, until a chance encounter with a guard set a light behind his green spectacles.

"Evening, sirs," said the young man, and as he passed the Chevalier stood suddenly stock-still.

"Whatever is the matter, Dupin?" I cried, but received no response. My friend's mouth moved, but no sound came out. He rubbed his temples. He sat down on the floor, and as curious onlookers passed us up, I sat down beside him to await the end of this paroxysm.

Dupin counted on his fingers. He shook his head. He tapped a strange melody on the wall. He plucked fibers from the ancient carpet, and arranged them in a curious sigil on his pants-leg. Finally, he laughed, shouting "'Evening, sirs', indeed!" and shot to his feet. Before I could ask what he had surmised, he was racing to the Director's office at top speed.

The guard was an old hand, and blameless. He had done, and seen, nothing. He was in fact only beginning his shift. But by the flawless exercise of ratiocinations I shall shortly enumerate, my friend had extracted from his innocent greeting a panoply of facts relating to the theft of an unsuspected mouldering god-carcass in a distant sub-basement before its handlers, eagle-eyed and sworn to secrecy though they were, even knew it had even been disturbed.

1. On the matter of intonation [...]
[[/div]]

----

[[div class="blockquote"]]
**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site-17

**Relevant Objects:** [[[SCP-043]]] ("possessed" vinyl pressing)

**Summary:** In the guise of an Alagaddan contralto summoned for an experimental performance of [[[SCP-012]]], Irene Adler infiltrated Site-17 and successfully stole SCP-043. She then released its file to the public domain, copied the record's contents (//sans// its anomalous occupant), and released these as well. In an internet press release, she claimed this printing preceded all commercial imprints, and that therefore she had just effectively negated all copyright on //The Beatles// (1968), its music and lyrics.

Though Foundation operatives quickly removed the press release, and lawyers for Apple Corps and Sony Music Publishing immediately pointed out Ms. Adler's lack of legal standing in this matter, a number of royalty-free performances and derivative works ensued over the next several days.

Enraged at being forced to religitate ownership of his music for a third time (see Anomalous Event PoI-2011-4, "Mecha-Jacko Incident"), memeticist Paul McCartney began a campaign of musical attrition against the SCP Foundation which was only halted when Dr. Lillihammer of Site-43 conclusively proved that SCP-043 was never a real anomaly in the first place, citing the "obviously bullshit and lazy-ass nature" of its file. "Jesus Christ, did any of you actually read it?"
[[/div]]

----
@@@@
[[div class="parapost"]]
##29CECE|**CabFever**## 02/19/2024 (Wed) 01:21:15 #63457484
------

So, you guys know I'm kind of a big deal in Palermo.

Well today that came in real, real handy. I was minding my own business, driving my taxi, when this guy dressed up real fancy jumps in, right? Only here's the thing, my doors were all closed. I was actually making good time in traffic. Guy came in through the WINDOW. He was dressed like he was going to a fancy dress party, only not a fancy dress party today, but a fancy dress party like a hundred years ago. And this guy, he tells me in a fancy French accent: "Avaunt!" I ask him what that means, and he yells "Step on it!" So, I step on it. A fare is a fare.

And that's when this other guy shows up. Only we're moving at a pretty good clip now, so the way he shows up is, he lands on the roof. I know it's a guy because he lands real hard, dents the roof, and yells something in Japanese. The guy I'm already driving winces, and tells me to speed up. So, I speed up. I like to push the limit anyway, that's just the kind of guy I am. But the guy (the fancy guy, man, so many guys in this story!) is cranking up my windows, only he's going real slow because I still have actual cranks on my windows, and the other guy comes flying in. He's definitely Japanese, and he's pissed. "I have you now, Loopin!" he shouts, and he starts trying to strangle my guy. I lean back and ask if I'm supposed to stop, even though we're in the middle of traffic, and while they're beating the shit out of each other they both shout "No!" So I keep driving.

By now we're out of the traffic and moving along at a pretty good clip. The fancy guy is yelling "Zenny Gata, you oaf! They're right behind us!" and the other guy is yelling back "//Who's// right behind us, Loopin?" and I look in my rear view mirror and I see, no shit, a guy with a bazooka is right behind us. He's in a little yellow piece of shit Fiat, and he's taking aim, at us. So I start swerving, and whooooosh! a big nasty rocket goes flying past us, hits the guardrail and explodes. I swerve again to get out of the way, and the Japanese guy goes flying out the window he came in through. Fancy guy grabs him by the boots and pulls him back in, and they both start strangling each other again. Whoooooosh! More bazooka, and now I hear sirens everywhere, and I'm driving on the sidewalk, and people are shouting, and it's a whole thing.

"Tell me who these buyers were!" the Japanese guy is screaming, while he throttles my fare, and I throttle up my ride. (See what I did there?) "Who were you trying to fence it to?!" The fancy guy shouts back "Arson Loopin does not //fence!// I was returning it to its rightful owners when these interlopers arrived. No doubt some crime syndicate from your tech [?], still smarting over the loss of their savings!'

(Before anyone asks, it's because driving is really boring. Even stunt driving. So I was listening real close, and I heard and remember everything.)

"And where is the merchandise?!" the Japanese guy wants to know, as I hop the curb, and make a sick one eighty jump that puts my pursuers on the wrong side of the road and going the wrong way.

"Lost," the other guy laments. "But ah, this is always the most boring part of any transaction. The hunt, that's where the thrill is found!"

"Nonsense!" the Japanese guy screams, and throws a punch that goes through my cheap seat covers. Guys have dust-ups in here all the time, what can I say? I come prepared. "They're chasing you with a rocket launcher, Loopin! They know you have it!"

As if in punctuation, I've heard is how you say this, Whoooosh! and a parked car just beside us goes into the stratosphere. The rocket launcher guys are back. I guess they crashed through the median.

"I hate to tell you this, friend," Loopin grins, "but I was clean and away until you caught my scent. Those men are chasing //you.//"

"What?!"

Then this Loopin guy, swear to god, levers himself up off the seat and flings himself out the opposite window. The Japanese guy whips open the door, and now our centre of balance is all off, and we're going real fast, and so we start doing donuts on the empty road. The fancy guy is off at a clip, headed for an alley, and the Japanese guy reaches into this pouch at his hip, and before I know it he hucks a coin real deadly-style at his buddy, like the way I've seen Ricky Jay used to throw cards. You ever see that YouTube video? It's crazy, guy could put cardboard right through a watermelon. I think this Loopin guy is in for a world of hurt, but then suddenly he turns at the last moment and puts up his top hat, and the coin goes flying into it, and he snaps the hat back on his head and says "Thank you, friend, for carrying my merchandise!"

And then he's gone.

And then I wrap the taxi around a light pole.

I hear a radio crackle, and it's coming from the Japanese guy's belt. "Any leads on [[[SCP-6598 | 6598]]] yet, Zenny Gata?"

The guy kicks my door open so hard it sets off the car alarm, and out he goes.

So, there you have it. Obviously they sought out my taxi on purpose, because of my reputation as a mean driver. Who do you think's gonna play me in the feature film adaptation?[[/div]]

[[div class="parapost reply1"]]
##yellow|**plywood**## 02/19/2024 (Wed) 01:43:13 #63457487
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probably rob schneider because this is a heaping pile of bull shit
[[/div]]

[[div class="parapost reply1"]]
##7BB3FF|**falcon_crazy**## 02/19/2024 (Wed) 01:50:09 #63457489
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You have a very picky car alarm, OP.
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[[span style="color: #551a8b; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 1px;"]] Hi Reddit, I'm Arsène Lupin, leader of Thieves Domain. We are stealing SCP files and releasing them into the Public Domain. AMA! [[/span]]
[[span style="font-size: x-small;"]] ##888|submitted 9 hours ago by## ##369|ThievesDomainOfficial##[[/span]]
[[span style="color: #888; font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold; padding: 1px 0;"]] 2 comments@@   @@share@@   @@save@@   @@hide@@   @@##a79128|give gold##@@   @@report@@   @@crosspost [[/span]]

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[[span style="display: inline-block; font-size: x-small; height: .67em;"]] [[span style="padding: 1px; color: #369;"]] [–] [[/span]] [[span style="font-weight: bold; margin-right: .4em; color: #369;"]] eleneefishtruck [[/span]] [[span style="color: #888;"]] 3 points 7 hours ago [[/span]] [[/span]]

[[span style="font-size: small; font-weight: 400; color: #222;"]] Hey Lupin. I appreciate your enthusiasm for increasing the pool of public domain works, but I have to ask, what is an SCP file? [[/span]]

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[[span style="display: inline-block; font-size: x-small; height: .67em;"]] [[span style="padding: 1px; color: #369;"]] [–] [[/span]] [[span style="font-weight: bold; color: #0055df;"]] ThievesDomainOfficial [[/span]] [[span style="padding: 1px;"]] ##888|[####0055df|S####888|]## [[/span]] [[span style="color: #888;"]] 4 points 7 hours ago [[/span]] [[/span]]

[[span style="font-size: small; font-weight: 400; color: #222;"]] //Comment removed by moderator.//[[/span]]

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[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site-62

**Relevant Objects:** [[[SCP-579]]] (DATA EXPUNGED)

**Summary:** The Thieves' Domain obtained data on SCP-579's location from [DATA EXPUNGED]. Due to the limited personnel roster, they opted against disguising themselves, instead attempting to infiltrate the Site undetected.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

The Domain were able to remove the object from its [DATA EXPUNGED] using a pair of magnets, placing it on a cushion. [DATA EXPUNGED] approved. Should the Foundation successfully retrieve the object, similar methods may be applied for future containment.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

The Domain at this point abandoned any attempts at stealth, driving a Foundation vehicle out of the Site. While no personnel were harmed, [DATA EXPUNGED] both immediately submitted letters of resignation; per their contract, these were denied.

[[/div]]

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[[div style="text-align: center"]]
[[div class="unmargined" style="font-family: 'Cinzel'; font-size: 450%; margin: 2px 0 5px;"]]
Deer College Odyssey
[[/div]]
[[div class="unmargined" style="font-family: 'Pinyon Script'; font-size: 250%; margin: 2px 0 5px;"]]
The Buck Stops Here
[[/div]]
[[div class="unmargined" style="font-family: serif; font-size: 125%; border-top-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid;"]]
[[table style="border: none; width: 100%;"]]
[[row]]
[[cell]]
THREE PORTLANDS
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="text-align: center;"]]
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2025
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="text-align: right;"]]
15 BOTTLE CAPS
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]
[[/div]]
[[div class="unmargined" style="font-family: 'Anton'; font-size: 500%; margin: 2px 0 5px;"]]
**LUPIN AND CO DEDICATE BLOODY, SHITTING STATUE TO PUBLIC DOMAIN**
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
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[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site-36

**Relevant Objects:** [[[SCP-089]]] ("Tophet"), [[[SCP-475]]] ("Soap of a Pope")

**Summary:** Ishikawa Goemon infiltrated Site-36 after discovering, through crosslinks in files stolen earlier, the existence of SCP-089. Swearing revenge on the Foundation for its involvement in a series of child sacrifices spanning ███ years, Goemon released the file to the public domain and attempted to destroy the statue. Frustrated at finding it already destroyed years prior due to the actions of a Horizon Initiative agent, Goemon ransacked the containment wing and acquired SCP-475 before departing.

Subsequent appearances of Goemon at Thieves' Domain thefts feature reports that the bandit now possesses //Iddhi// powers, including the ability to create images of himself and pass through solid objects.  

A motion picture adaptation of SCP-089's destruction has begun filming in Pakistan. Under the terms of the Triumvirate Accords, the Foundation cannot intervene.
[[/div]]

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||||||||~ Auction Record 02||
||||||||~ MG6GK/FJFSO/44O5P ||
||~ Date || February 24, 2024||~ Location || London ||
||~ Auctioneer || Walter Soreno||~ Lot || 2 of 17 ||
||~ Listing |||||| The left eye of renowned London thief-catcher Jonathan Wild, imbued with the magical ability to instantly detect and identify bad actors up to no good. An absolute must-have for the discerning collector, when the envy of one's neighbours turns to resentment. //Marshall, Carter and Dark LLP takes no responsibility for the misuse of this item.// ||
||~ Name ||~ Bid ||||~ Comments||
|| I.A.|| 10000USD |||| ||
|| A. Couch|| 29000CAD |||| ||
|| R.L.|| 30000USD |||| ||
|| S. Nibhanupidi || 40000USD |||| ||
|| H. Popeau|| 100000USD |||| Bidder for SCP Foundation||
|| G.I.|| 200000USD |||| ||
|| H. Popeau|| 300000USD |||| Bidder for SCP Foundation||
|| A.L.|| 400000USD |||| ||
|| H. Popeau|| **500000USD** ||||~ Winner of auction. ||
||||||||~ Record of Dispute||
|||||||| Mr. Hercules Popeau has asserted that the item disappeared from his possession after he collected it from the auction house. His specific grievance is as follows: "Monsieurs, I do not imply shady dealing! I am well aware that Marshall, Carter and Dark would never allow the appearance of perfidy in its overt transactions. I merely wish to observe that, owing no doubt to honest confusion on your part, the individuals against whom I bid were obviously members of The Thieves' Domain. I suspected as much during the auction, but I told myself //'Mais c'est bizarre!// That cannot be. Those scoundrels have robbed Madame Dark herself, surely they would be barred from the premises!' //Certainment// they were bidding far above their lucre level. But I began to note a pattern in the way they raised their fingers -- //attendez vous,// I assure you it is quite pertinent! -- and it became obvious to me they were conducting a thaumaturgical working. I have since consulted with certain talented individuals in the employ of my benefactors, and they identified this as 'Faust's Belated Bidding', a very old spell of delayed summons. I do not know that they expected the Eye to batter its way out of my motor-carriage -- no, //merci,// our insurance quite covers the cost, yes, Monsieur Goldbaker is very generous with his plans -- but I do know my item is now in their possession. As this regrettable state of affairs occured under your auspices, I wonder if accommodation might be made for returning my bid to my employers, and certainly banning those swindlers from further events at your establishments. //Bonne journée.//"||
||||||||~ Marshall, Carter and Dark, LLP||
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[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** //Restricted per protocol 4000-Eshu.//

**Relevant Objects:** //[[[/SCP-4000 | Restricted per protocol 4000-Eshu]]].//

**Summary:** Thieves' Domain activity decreased in intensity for a period of three days, during which they were down one number. Robin Hood, having discovered the existence of **##green|that most royal of all forests##**, occupied himself with determining the precise social stratifications of **##green|his kindred spirits##**, and redistributing their **##SteelBlue|curious riches##** to suit his assessment of their relative needs. Within hours he was a figure of fame and scandal in what he termed **##green|Neo-Sherwood##**, having attracted a considerable coterie of **##teal|likeminded rogues##**.

This enterprise concluded with the arrival of the remaining members of the Domain, who proceeded to abstract Hood himself from **##teal|his band of men most merry##** via **##Sienna|that lone and lonely trackway.##**
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File: ##0000EE|__1544380113869.png__## (152 KB, 398x397)
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[[f<image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/tall-and-short-tales-of-the-thieves-domain/wojak.png width="230px"]]

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##117743|**Anonymous**## 02/19/25(Wed)13:07:04 No.49760284
[[/div]]

[[div class="post-content"]]
##789922|>be me##
##789922|>public domain enjoyer##
##789922|>new public domain works? in february? not january?##
##789922|>mfw##
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##117743|**Anonymous**## 02/19/25(Wed)13:15:20 No.49760463 ##000080|▶ __@@>>@@49760488__##
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[[div class="post-content"]]
##000080|__@@>>@@49760284 (OP)__##
what the fuck are you talking about op
[[/div]]
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[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site-43

**Relevant Objects:** [[[SCP-5681]]] ("Gehenna Arcade" VHS tape)

**Summary:** Arsène Lupin, disguised as Agent Claude Camwell, infiltrated the Site's Administration and Oversight section and disengaged the hydroelectric intake long enough for the other members of the Domain to access Acroamatic Abatement Facility AAF-C. From there they accessed the Site's subway system, traveling along the maintenance walkway to avoid detection until they reached the Security and Containment section. They donned Applied Occultism uniforms, and once Robin Hood successfully pickpocketed Dr. Gayle Richards' access card, they were able to access SCP-5681's containment unit.

Unfortunately for them, SCP-5681 was not in its containment unit; roughly two hours earlier, Dr. William Wettle had brought a copy of //Mass Effect 4// for the Xbox One into the Section, and during a moment of distraction wherein he dropped the object, his game, and a large box of non-anomalous pears, he accidentally placed the video game into the unit and pocketed SCP-5681. Following a brief impromptu search for the object, the Domain left the Site. SCP-5681 was successfully returned; however, Dr. Wettle's copy of //Mass Effect 4// has not been relinquished.
[[/div]]

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[[div style="background: url(/local--files/3rd-vesta-donation/MCF-7.png) center center no-repeat ; float: center; border: solid 3px #006c00; width: 610px; padding: 1px 15px; margin: 10px 10px 10px 10px; font-family: sansationregular, cursive; background-color: #f8fdf8; box-shadow: 0 1px 3px rgba(0,0,0,.2); width: fit-content;"]]
[[=]]
++ [[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]//1st Thieves Domain Donation//[[/span]]
[[/=]]
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[[size 130%]][[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]**Of Interest:**[[/span]][[/size]] //food, unlimited, humanitarian//

[[size 130%]][[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]**Asset Summary:**[[/span]][[/size]] //As written by Director Harris, Director of the North American Manna Charitable Center//

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[[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]The most generous and wonderful gentleman Arsène Lupin and company have donated unto us a miracle: a [[[scp-1689|bag which houses infinite potatoes]]]. Through this wondrous new donation, we may achieve the blessing of freedom from want in those less fortunate than ourselves.[[/span]]

[[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]Though Monsieur Lupin was tight-lipped about the origins of this item, we here at Manna should know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. So once more, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you Monsieur Lupin, Mr. Goemon, Mr. Hood, and Ms. Adler![[/span]]

[[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]Alone, we are cannot make change. But together, we are powerful. Together, we may change the world.[[/span]]

[[=]]
++ [[span style="color:#6BAB30;"]]-- Director Harris[[/span]]
[[image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/manna-charitable-foundation-hub/MCF-5.png]]
[[/=]]

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[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site-120

**Relevant Objects:** N/A

**Summary:** On receipt of a signed letter threatening the "utter emptying of the storied archives of that jewel of Esterberg," Detective Roscoe mustered a Mobile Task Forces response of some one hundred trained professionals, including MTF Beta-1 (“Cauterizers”), MTF Beta-777 (“Hecate's Spear”), MTF Epsilon-11 (“Nine-Tailed Fox”), MTF Iota-10 (“Damn Feds”), MTF Pi-1 (“City Slickers”), MTF Tau-51 (“Urban Brawl”), MTF Chi-9 (“Page Turners”), and most forces stationed at Site-120 itself. On the appointed day, no Thieves' Domain activity was reported; a simple note was received by Detective Roscoe at their mobile headquarters just before midnight, reading simply:

[[div class="blockquote"]]
If you're going to be like //that// about it, well, //tant pis.//
-- L
[[/div]]

Detective Roscoe was heard to remark at the scene: "And //that// is how real security work is done."

Despite the apparent success of this initiative, O5-7 recalled all units to their home posts on receipt of Detective Roscoe's report, stating "We can't host an operator convention every time someone mails a damn letter."
[[/div]]

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[[div class="reddit-post"]]

[[div style="float: right; width: 93.5%;"]]

[[span style="color: #551a8b; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 1px;"]] I (120M) and my companions (134F, 467M, 648M) have been stealing files from a top secret organization and releasing them to the public domain. AITA?[[/span]]
[[span style="font-size: x-small;"]] ##888|submitted 9 hours ago by## ##369|ThievesDomainOfficial##[[/span]]
[[span style="color: #888; font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold; padding: 1px 0;"]] 2 comments@@   @@share@@   @@save@@   @@hide@@   @@##a79128|give gold##@@   @@report@@   @@crosspost [[/span]]

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[[span style="display: inline-block; font-size: x-small; height: .67em;"]] [[span style="padding: 1px; color: #369;"]] [–] [[/span]] [[span style="font-weight: bold; margin-right: .4em; color: #369;"]] chiefstikiness [[/span]] [[span style="color: #888;"]] 3 points 7 hours ago [[/span]] [[/span]]

[[span style="font-size: small; font-weight: 400; color: #222;"]] yeagh [[/span]]
[[<image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/tall-and-short-tales-of-the-thieves-domain/Arsoyjak2_1.gif style="width:50%;"]]

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[[div class="blockquote"]]

**__Incident Report__**

**Location:** Site DE-16

**Relevant Objects:** [[[SCP-6426]]] ("Vampire Boat")

**Summary:** The Thieves' Domain staged a three-pronged distraction at Site DE-16: Lupin led police on an extended chase through the town of Rerik in the guise of anthroporphic troublemaker Reynard the Fox, Goemon began accosting spa patrons in the town of Kühlungsborn by dunking them beneath the surface, and Adler called in unspecified 'favours' (read: blackmail) with the //Bundeswehr// to initiate military action against the Site. In the general confusion, Robin Hood was able to free SCP-6426 from its moorings and pilot it into the Bay of Wismar.

Detective Roscoe was able to cut off Lupin's routes through Rerik, necessitating his escape into the crowd via a hastily-assembled disguise; Popeau was able to contact (apparently non-fictional) friends in the local police to instigate a jurisdictional dispute with the //Bundeswehr,// halting the attack before serious damage was done to Site DE-16; Dupin determined that the spa attacker could not be Goemon, as making light of his son's death by boiling in the late sixteenth century did not fit his psychological profile, and was able to prevent the real Goemon from accessing a local SCiPnet backup and making off with SCP-6426's file. Zenigata employed his renowned skill at coin-throwing to litter the bay with Japanese //zeni//; the vampiric craft immediately attempted to count the sinking coins, eventually plunging itself to the bottom of the bay. All members of the Domain escaped.
[[/div]]

[[=image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/the-containment-of-arsene-lupin/header.png style="width:80%;"]]

The members of Interpol — officially, MTF Kappa-16 — sat around a table in a dingy mess hall. Their latest mission had been a narrow failure: the Thieves' Domain had managed to escape by the skin of their teeth, riding atop the giraffes used to contain the SCP object they'd managed to steal. The Site Director had yelled at them twice now; once yesterday, shortly after the mission failure, and once today, before they'd even gotten their breakfast.

Their record of success was a clean fifty percent. Perhaps the Domain was disappointed, but at least they had no higher authority to report to. Interpol, on the other hand, had just finished filing yet another report detailing how they'd once again failed to apprehend four top-level enemies of the Foundation. A fifty percent success rate represented critical inconsistency, and that was when their definition of "success" was as liberal as possible. If success included capturing the individuals their task force was specifically designed to catch, then they sat at an incredible zero successful missions. For lesser detectives, this would be more than enough to send them into a stressful depression.

Dupin slammed down a glass, and burped. "'Breakfast is no time for alcohol,' they say. Pah!"

Popeau huffed. "//Ouais.// I'd be inclined to agree."

Dupin shrugged in response. He poured himself another glass and downed it just as fast. Zenigata chuckled. "Are you so troubled by yesterday's failures?"

"Of course I'm troubled," Dupin sneered. "But this is not for that. No, I've decided it to be drinking time. What with all our travels, time would have eluded me if I'd only kept track of local clocks."

"//I'm// tempted," said Roscoe. "I'm ready to be done with all this."

The other three detectives looked at them. "You must be joking," said Popeau. "I can't remember the last time I've been so excited by an adversary."

"Please, keep your arousal to yourself," said Zenigata with a grin.

Popeau huffed again. "Don't mock me. You feel just the same, both of you. The thrill of the chase!"

Dupin poured himself another glass, but Zenigata snatched it from his hand and raised it. "To the chase."

Dupin snatched his glass back, but his smile betrayed a carefree mood in the moment. "To the chase!"

"Aye, to the chase," said Popeau. He nudged Roscoe, who gave a slight smirk.

"Alright, alright... here's to the chase."

The group laughed, and as they did an agent approached them. He cleared his throat, causing their laughter to die. They turned their eyes to him.

"Detective Roscoe," he said. "I have a report here for you, regarding The Thieves' Domain."

Roscoe sighed. "Back at it already. What are they after this time?"

The agent shook his head. "Nothing to worry about at all. It's good news: they've been captured."

The team's faces all fell. "What?" they asked in unison.

The agent smiled, oblivious to their shock. "I have the relevant info here," he said, setting a tablet on the table. "Seems like this will all be put to bed soon, I hope!" He walked away, leaving the stunned detectives silently absorbing the shocking revelation. Roscoe grabbed the tablet and began reading the report.

Zenigata pounded a fist on the table. "All our work! Just for some other fools to claim our prize?"

Roscoe rubbed their chin with their hand. "No... it's worse than that. They weren't caught by the Foundation at all." He held up the tablet for the rest of them to see. "They were just captured by the Unusual Incidents Unit. They're in the custody of the US government now."

A moment passed, then Dupin downed another drink. Suddenly, alcohol at noon didn't seem like such a bad idea to anyone.
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:earthworm
| first=false | last=false | hub=yes
| previous-url=/wanted-the-thieves-domain | previous-title=Wanted: The Thieves' Domain!
| next-url=/paramax-connection | next-title=Paramax Connection
| hub-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/arsene-lupin-vs-the-scp-foundation-hub | hub-title=Arsène Lupin vs the SCP Foundation
]]

[[=]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
[[<]]
> **Filename:** wojak.png
> **Author:** [[*user Uncle Nicolini]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Note:** This image was based on an illustration by [[*user daviiid]] originally made for [[[SCP-4991]]].


> **Filename:** Arsoyjak2_1.gif
> **Author:** [[*user rurascarlet]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
[[/<]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]
[[/=]]

Tall and Short Tales of the Thieves' Domain

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