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Module Styles

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• :root {
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Inline Styles

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Includes

• :scp-wiki:theme:blankstyle [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:fade-in [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source [info]
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• :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source [info]
• component:sybadge
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• :scp-wiki:component:license-box [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end [info]

CSS Classes

• limit

• anchor

• sidebox

• img-responsive

Page Source

[[include :scp-wiki:theme:blankstyle]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:fade-in speed=1]]

[[div class="limit"]]
[[div class="anchor"]]
[[div class="sidebox"]]
[[=]]
||~ This Page Intentionally Left Blank ||
||= Home of [[*user HarryBlank]] ||
[[/=]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]
[[/div]]

[[module CSS]]
.preview .span, .infobox { display: none !important; }
[[/module]]

[[module CSS]]

.brief {
    margin: 15px;
    padding: 24px;
    border: 3px solid black;
    border-radius: 12px;
    background-color: #FFFFFF;
    box-shadow: 5px 8px;
}

[[/module]]
[[module css]]
.avatarhover > a:nth-child(1) > img:nth-child(1) {
    width: 16px;
}
[[/module]]
[[>]]
[[module Rate]]
[[/>]]

[[div style="height:12px;"]]
[[/div]]

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 700px"  colspan="2"]]
**Harry bullies the wiki by posting a steady flow of quality.**
[[*user Pedagon]] speaking half-truths
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #9cd3e9ff; padding: 3px;" colspan="2"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 700px" colspan="2"]]
**people just really like 5-headed lesbian god dragon girlfriend, maybe**
[[*user EstrellaYoshte]] speaking full truths
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #9cd3e9ff; padding: 3px;" colspan="2"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 50%"]]
**Harrylvabk hust writes good s fyzg-8**
[[*user Ralliston]] speaking [http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/collab:ralliston-to-english Rallistonese]
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 50%"]]
**Too wordy / Too coherent**
[[*user GremlinGroup]] speaking in verse
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #9cd3e9ff; padding: 3px;" colspan="2"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 700px" colspan="2"]]
**Despite what's in his name, his head is anything but //blank//. Trust me, I speak from experience**
[[*user nickthebrick1]] speaking from experience
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #9cd3e9ff; padding: 3px;" colspan="2"]]
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 50%"]]
**roasted by saying we good friend**
[https://discord.bots.gg/bots/656962312565030963 Buddy] speaking pseudocoherently
[[/cell]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 6px; text-align: center; width: 50%"]]
**Get lost you turds**
[[*user Grigori Karpin]] speaking
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

------

[[include component:image-block
    name=Harry.png|
    caption=Portrait of the artist as a disembodied expression of generalized disapproval|
    width=300px
]]

Harry Blank is many things, to many people. To some he's an obscure internet writer they've never heard of, and they only know that much because they looked it up after you asked. 

Aaaaaand I'm tapped.

In the real world, assuming it still exists, I'm a PhD --student-- and occasional university course instructor. I'm an historian! That is probably evident in the stuff I've written. I'm also from Canada! (I guess you can't say "from" when you're almost never not there, though, can you? Then again, I just did!)

//- actually looks himself up -//

Oh, hey, I'm a politician from Québec apparently! That's cool, I hope I'm good at it.
[[div]]
I adore words. I think a well-crafted sentence, with proper flow and some bitchin' word choice, is a thing of --almost-- pornographic beauty. For that reason my articles so far have absurdly-long edit histories as I keep thinking of better ways to say things which were already said perfectly acceptably weeks ago.

I also adore all of you. You are all cool, special, and good at what you do. Your differences are what make us as a species better, stronger, faster than it was before! What was I saying? Oh, right, don't let the 'ists and the 'phobes get you down. All the shitheels who can't stand people not being the same as them are gonna end up in the dustbin of history with the original Nazis, and you can trust me on that; I help write the history books.

...in Canada, admittedly, but Canada is at least partially real world-adjacent.

Oh, yeah, I've got OCD.[[footnote]]Yes, actually.[[/footnote]] So try not to be surprised when you notice how many hundreds of revisions my sandboxes and articles have.

I also have an [http://www.scpwiki.com/blank-art art page] and a [http://www.scpwiki.com/on-guard-43-hub canon!]

My first SCP novel, //Bury the Survivors,// is [[[https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0BDKHWCFM | available on Amazon]]] in ebook and paperback format! **It contains scenes of graphic violence and sexual situations inappropriate for younger readers.**

------

[[div]]
[[=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Blank Articles, or Adventures in Low-Key Self-Insertion" hide="- Hope you like tables!"]]
[[/=]]
------
[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Site-43 is Fuckin' Bonkers Trilogy**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #FDF6D7; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Constant Companions"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5056]]]

[[include component:image-block
    name=Doug.jpg|
    caption=The pic that was so terrible it earned me one of my first downvotes! The new pic is admittedly much better.|
    width=175px
]]

**Object Lesson:** Meaning looking for you in all the wrong places.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "I'm really sorry about what happened in the bathroom."

**Dissection:** An asymmetrical love story between a janitor and an eldritch abomination. How many years of being screamed at by a mirror monster can you take before it all gets a bit... samey? Less than eighteen, apparently. The concept came to me as I lay in bed reading the site and asking myself "So, got any ideas, since you're so damn smart?" I hadn't even been thinking that I was so damn smart, so that was pretty rude.

**Assessment:** My first SCP, and it //didn't// get deleted! I mean, it came close, but it got better. Literally. Literarily? And that's a good thing, 'cuz it sets up Site-43 and teases SCP-5243. 

There's a tie-in tale, as outlined below; [http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-significant-others-part-a both] [http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-significant-others-part-b halves] are up. 

If you haven't seen this article since it was first posted, it might be worth another glance... it's been through a lot, and come out quite profitably scathed. Me being me, further scathing is undoubtedly in its future.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D7EFE7; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The One-Time Password"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item#:** [[[SCP-5109]]]

**Object Lesson:** What kinds of stories can a simple anomaly generate?

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "…it didn't even occur to me that it would work like that. It shouldn't work like that. Why does it work like that?"

**Dissection:** Take a phrase you can't forget unless you tell someone else (who then can't forget it themselves), add a bunch of scientists who're too clever for their own good, and stir until somebody loses fifty percent of their skin. I wanted a story where the researchers were the real anomaly — how much mischief could they get up to with this phrase, and how could I convey that without it becoming SCP-050 or some other lolFoundation thing? I wanted to create a whole series of short literary Rube Goldberg devices, microstories whirring with their own bizarre internal logic which only this specific plot device could enable. I ended up covering way more bases than I thought I could.

**Assessment:** So, apparently this clicks with most people! I am deeply gratified that you didn't think it was stupid, and the affirmation has been wholly uplifting. (Definitely go downvote it if you think it's stupid, though, because what's it doing there, being stupid? I mean what the fuck.)
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #F5D8E0; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Breach that Keeps On Breaching"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Item #:** [[[SCP-5243]]]

**Object Lesson:** Where does all that ectoplasm go, anyway?

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "I wish this goddamn anomaly didn't have my forwarding address."

**Dissection:** A magic sewer explosion is bad. A magic sewer explosion that happens every year, and forces you to roleplay as your past self, and changes history if you do it wrong, is //hilariously// bad. I've been building to this idea for a while, now, and it was a lot of fun executing. Especially the Provisional Task Force idea, and its logo, which came late in the game. Oh, and all those ridiculous pictures. Clinical descriptions of magical shenanigans are a hoot.

**Assessment:** Went from a 15k-word magnum opus to a 2.7k-word bonum opus. I hope you think it's as bonkers as I do. I had //no idea// how this one would go over, because I was living inside of it so long I lost all perspective. So far, it's gone over super well! Well enough that it prompted the creation of this page. (Don't blame it, blame me. You can also blame me //for// it, though, obviously.)

**[08/23/2020]** Uh, okay, it's far and away my most popular thing now! I mean, //I// thought it was pretty cool, but I also thought that maybe nobody else was gonna think so too. Thank you very tremendously much for the month of validation! This breach goes on.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Maybe now I can do a prequel trilogy with no soul and a sequel trilogy with no overall game plan?

Or! I could write a symmetrically-divisive joke SCP and tank my own upvote rating!

Yessssss, let's do that instead.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Harry Hasn't Posted in Two Weeks Unilogy**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #E2E9D7; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The People Person"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Item #:** [[[SCP-CASH4D-J]]]

**Object Lesson:** There is no ethical consumption in containmentism.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "I mean, are you killing these losers off at the end of every month or something?"

**Dissection:** I don't think of this as an attack piece. I prefer to think of it as a celebration of the communal writing process. Things that don't work get ejected from the canons over time, and we can appreciate the intent behind them without wanting them to come back.

It's also a celebration of dumb dialogue jokes that I thought were funny at various fours in the various morning. Mornings. Fournings?

I put way too much time and effort into this; yes, I know, a -J is a shitpost, ha ha ha. I'm never gonna post anything with under a few hundred sandbox revisions. You can't make me.

**Assessment:** Ah, there's that feeling again, the feeling of posting your first SCP and half of the readers go "bleh." But that's what a lot of humour does. This is apparently not one of those transcendent pieces you see occasionally! If fact, it looked like it might get deleted by the time I went to bed after posting it.

Then I woke up and it was +17, so honestly I don't even know. Put your best foot forward and hope you don't step in anything, I guess!
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

So, about that prequel trilogy comment.

I promise, //promise// this won't be soulless.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Site-43's History is Fuckin' Esoteric Trilogy**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D8ECF4; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Cure, and What Ails You"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Item #:** [[[SCP-5382]]]

[[include component:image-block
    name=Wagon.jpg|
    caption=The only shoop too fake-looking to use.|
    width=175px
]]

**Object Lesson:** Words have power.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "It was once my favourite pub joke, that the German word for poison is //gift.//"

**Dissection:** And I thought my last (real) SCP was a long haul. This thing took ages to get right. I had so much I wanted to achieve, here: something funny about a fraud who //wasn't// a fraud, something world-buildy about Site-43, something historical with a present-day twist, something melancholy and touching and ultimately uplifting. Whether I managed any of that, well, perhaps you'll let me know.

Surely you'll at least enjoy the Photoshopping. I certainly did.

**Assessment:** Kickin' ass for something this long! And the comments I've gotten have been very gratifying. I'm glad this one made an impact on some people, especially after all I put into it.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #FEE8D8; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Lords of the Beneath World"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5494]]]

**Object Lesson:** Culture has teeth.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "...it's not //our// lake, and they're not //our// panthers."

**Dissection:** I've never written something so quickly before. There were a lot of rewrites, but the core of the article remains what it was when I hammered it out initially: a furious rebuke of the Canadian federal government's policy towards the First Nations, within a vicious swipe against cultural appropriation, within a story about panthers consuming people on a lake. I did my research and made sure to get the details right, because if done correctly this could be, I think, a nice gesture to thousands of people who have deserved better than they got... but if done incorrectly it could contribute to the problems it's trying to tackle.

I //hope// it was done correctly.

I really piled on the historical injustices here. There were just so many to choose from! I didn't have to make any of them up. Hopefully there's some catharsis in this story, but not so much catharsis that the wrongs committed against the First Peoples appear to have been righted. They most certainly have not, and some tentative further reading is linked in my author post if you want to be a small part of the solution yourself.

**Assessment:** Seems to have been done correctly! Looks like it'll keep doing the good work for quite some time to come.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #E2E2E3; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Rabbit Hole"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Item #:** [[[SCP-5520]]]

**Object Lesson:** Chemistry has power.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "The sun sets for you, but never for me."

**Dissection:** This one, finally, THIS ONE was gonna be short.

It's not short.

It's not as long as the Thaumiel, but I had a story to tell, and a point to make, and damned if I was gonna let a little thing like parsimony get in my way. 

That story, as mine usually do, grew in the telling. I didn't know //why// Rydderech disappeared when I first created him, and I first created him a long time ago (for my only-recently-published Site Dossier for Site-43). For a while I thought he was going to mess around with some indigenous water purification spirit and get burned, and then my training kicked in and I realized how awful that would be. I think it might be that which prompted my previous skip about not stealing indigenous culture!

Please be kind to the elderly. Take care of them. They're human beings, they have dignity, and they need us.

**Assessment:** I posted it late at night, and it still did well. And I got some of the most gratifying feedback of my short career on this one already! Hope it stays the course.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Well, shit, that's two trilogies down. Do I have plans for a third? 

Do I have plans for something to post in the interval between them?

Yes.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Collaborative Cursing Unilology**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #FFEBF3; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"Skippy the Unicorn Has Had Enough of Your Shit!" (with [[*user nickthebrick1]]!)
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5583]]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
|float=true
|align=right
|width=175px
|url=Skippy.png
|add-caption=true
|caption=My "art" without the background.
]]

**Object Lesson:** Who entertains the entertainers?

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "♪ Birthdays come but once ♪ the FUCK, you sick son of a BITCH!"

**Dissection:** This collab was more like the concept of draft crit, extruded. nickthebrick1 had the whole thing figured out from the start; he came to me with a series of great ideas, and we chose his favourite one, and he came up with this crazy character, all his backstory, and all the stuff he was gonna do before I even wrote a single word. Every scene was written by nick first, and then I did a do-over in my own style. I did contribute the image myself, and I'm proud of that. I'm proud of the whole thing, really, I think it's sweet and cute and dumb and fun and more than a little bit sad.

I had a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's when I was a little kid, and I have only a few, remarkably vivid, images of it. The animatronics in the far distance, on the stage, being weird; the dim lighting; arcade machines that took tokens... man, I think I still have one of those somewhere... and the ball pit. 

There was no puke in the ball pit. At least, as far as I can remember.

Long story short, if nickthebrick1 wants to collab with you, //do it.//

**Assessment:** TBD.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Alright, sequel time baby.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Site-43's Present is Fuckin' Morbid Trilogy**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D8E4F4; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Dead End / The Placeholder"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5618]]]

**Object Lesson:** The end is nigh.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "Saw __that__ twist coming."

**Dissection:**  Shortest thing I've written, by far. This one came to me as a pretty pure concept: a set of instructions for what to do when you're in the bad future, and the good guys set right what once went wrong, and your bad future is about to collapse... and the twist is, that's happening RIGHT NOW, and the reader is IN the bad future, and when they refresh the page... their reality has been deleted. I was super pumped about the idea, which is bad, because I get more terrified to share an idea the better I think it is. So I put a lot, a lot, a //lot// of time and effort into making it into something extremely short and punchy that still had characters, detail, and interest. Nothing extraneous, a few chilling lines, and a use of ACS in the second iteration that even the haters have to admit adds something to the proceedings. Tell me that series of "N/A" doesn't do //anything// for you. Okay, actually, don't tell me that. It'll make me sad.

Oh, yes, by the by, this is technically a Site-43 thing. It's also a Foundation-wide thing, but you'll see, some day, that it ties in with some tales I've got in the pipeline. Unfortunately, the pipeline is very, very blocked at the moment.

Listpages! [[*user Croquembouche]] and [[*user Rounderhouse]]'s excellent guide carried me through. Holy fuck, was that ever not fun. Nerve-wracking! Even after I had it all figured out on the sandbox, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get it going properly on the mainsite. I even messed with the format a bit — I always put fun little descriptions in my rating module infobox, and I wanted a different one for each of the two iterations, so I put the modules in the child pages instead of the main page and I've already lost you because nobody really understands listpages so... uh... check out those infoboxes, I think it's a cool gag.

**Assessment:** So far it's getting pretty much the reaction I expected: more often than not, the stark twist at the end works for people. But! About a third of the readers go "I want a story, this is shallow." And they're not wrong to want that, but for once, I wasn't planning on giving them one. This one's about you, with just a bit of a narrative gloss to keep you reading for the punchline. Hopefully it survives, I think it's neat.

**Update:** Unlike all those poor timelines, it will indeed survive. Many thanks.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #FFDABF; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Last Word"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5751]]]

[[include component:image-block
    name=CDR.jpg|
    caption=Cut content for y'all.|
    width=175px
]]

**Object Lesson:** The end is not the end.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "You shouldn't be allowed to read SCP files anymore."

**Dissection:**  This one took a while. I got the idea early — it was always meant to be a followup to the 5109 format, a log of events that escalate rapidly as a simple anomaly gets used for increasingly bonkers purposes. 

I ejected several items from the final list. I was gonna have some "all cops are bastards" content with multiple counts of switched-off bodycam footage or intentionally-destroyed evidence resurfacing; it appealed to me politically, but it didn't progress the narrative. I was also going to have more examples of the anomaly doing moralistic work, sometimes going against what we perceive to be present-day morals — having it seem to judge people's proclivities rather more harshly than we might like, judging by the files it chooses to dredge up. Again, though, that wasn't the story I'm telling here. One log was long and detailed and interesting enough (to me, anyway) that I think I'll repurpose it as the inevitable companion tale some ways down the road.

Like the pics? They're mostly of stuff in my own collection. I faked up logos for Ananasoft Inc. and VISUS, did a lot of editing to remove logos for Sony, Memorex, etc., and tried to get a good variety of discs going. That horrific one at the top is a truly ancient CD of mine which has had gaps in the surface covered over with electrical tape and permanent marker, so that a CD-ROM drive wouldn't refuse to read it; I was actually able to salvage all the data from it, using a combination of that method and brushing the bottom with toothpaste and vaseline. Yes, really. Looks fucking horrific, no? Similarly, Bright's busted-up Blu-Ray is a disc that burned badly which I've resultantly been using as a coaster. That's staining from Coke condensation, y'all. Fun stuff.

**Assessment:** Doing well! Rather like its predecessor. I am pleased.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #FDF6D7; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Namesnake"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5866]]]

**Object Lesson:** The end is what you make of it.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "ACS was a mistake."

**Dissection:**  Gonna level with you, here: this one's intellectual origins are unsavoury. I've been using the esoteric classes with icons in ACS as inspiration, trying to come up with one article for each, and Tiamat... Tiamat was the last one I figured out. Tiamats are Veil-breakers, or, rather, they make //us// break the Veil to fight them. I don't //want// to break the Veil in my stories, any more than I want the world to end in my stories. The Apollyon sorted itself out well enough, but how the fuck was I gonna manage this?

The answer that came to me was "make a joke out of it." Make the Babylonian goddess Tiamat, and make it so someone keeps editing the class to //be// Tiamat. I was surprised when nobody'd made a Mishipeshu skip, but I was absolutely floored that there were no fucking Tiamats already. I still didn't think this was gonna be great, but I was willing to test out the idea and see if I could make something I was proud of.

...I like it better than the rest of this trilogy. I like it better than my first trilogy. I think it stands up to the three history skips, which are easily my best things. I just really enjoyed how this thing turned out. The banter was fun, the in-jokes were fun, the emotional payoff worked for me. It'll probably come off as cloying or abrupt to some people, but at least a few so far have suggested it went just the way I wanted it to. Really shows you why writing under limitations is a great way to do things.

So... yeah. That's three trilogies. What next? Three more, I guess.

**Assessment:** I posted it late at night. I'm going to bed in the early morning, and it's at +20 with no downvotes. So... that's certainly something.

**Update:** Then I woke up and it was at +32 with no downvotes so I guess we're on the same page?

**Another Update:** +56 in two days. I guess I'm the Tiamat guy now?

**Yet Another Update:** First article to breach +100, eight days after posting it. I did not have this one in the betting pool.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Okay, it's been months, let's update this fucker. It's my one-year Wikidot anniversary!

The last year of Wikidot's life, probably.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The "Harry Takes Requests Now Apparently" Unilology**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #ECD7B0; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Load-Bearing Members"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Item #:** [[[SCP-5977]]]

**Object Lesson:** Uh, bears I guess?

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "PS we are sorry about the bear bones thing"

**Dissection:** [[*user Ralliston]] asked me if I could write another article about his silly bear GoI, first appearing in [[[SCP-5464]]]. My response was to join in the general scrum of bear puns, until suddenly one of them struck me as particularly funny, and a few hours later I had an entire SCP.

[[*user PlaguePJP]] calls it my only miss.

I still kinda like it, super fuckin' dumb as it is. Last SCP of the year! Didn't know to quit while I was ahead.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Alright, let's put this "trilogy" bullshit to bed.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Site-43's History is Harry's History Duology**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D9E6FF; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Memetic Myth of Joe Who?"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5054-EX]]]

**Object Lesson:** Become yourself.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "Who the fuck is Joe Clark?"

**Dissection:** The sequel to my Thaumiel, in every possible sense. Holy fuck, was this ever hard to write. To wrap my head around! I had a hell of a time figuring out the arc of the character, figuring out all the history I wanted to play with, the format, the events, and it spiralled madly out of control for a few months. Like my Thaumiel, it became one of my favourite things I've written. The fact that dozens of people have read an -EX about a Canadian Pri--

...

...my -EX goes to "the Ex." The Canadian National Exhibition.

I just fucking realized that.

That's hilarious.

Anyway, I'd always wanted an -EX ever since I saw that they exist. Seemed tailor-made to me. I'm glad that those who've read it, my longest SCP, seem to have found some entertainment in it. Might be the single most Canadian thing on the entire site.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D7D7D7; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Weight"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5162]]]

**Object Lesson:** We all have our crosses.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "Every moment of my life, it's been down there... fuck, it's down there right now. Even when I'm not looking at it."

**Dissection:** We've now moved on to the navel-gazing segment of the program, in which Harry writes real things that have happened to him into his fiction.

The false memory of the boat at the bottom of the clear crater lake, the story of the sailboat, and the dream of holding up that ungodly huge cube are all drawn from my own life. I have felt these powerful images since I was a little kid, they've stuck with me, and I wanted to try and see if I was up to the task of transmitting them to others. Judging by the reactions of people in the comments, who have had their own dreams expressing similar anxieties, I was able to pull it off.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

And now for something completely amazing.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Placeholder McD is a Fucking Maniac Unilology**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #F6D9E1; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"THEREISNOCANNON" (with [[*user Placeholder McD]]!)
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5956]]]

**Object Lesson:** The past is dead.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "I can't live without you. But, after what I've done to you, I hope you can live without me."

**Dissection:** In the midst of writing my [http://www.scpwiki.com/the-time-after-time-password-hub Time After Time Password] series, I came up with a fun idea. What if one of my characters pretended to have access to a device that allowed him to speak to past versions of himself, and this let him use multiple copies of an anomaly otherwise contained in his brain alone? I actually never intended the device to //work//; I wanted it to be the cover story for an even wackier series of explanations, which is still actually the plan for when I (finally) finish those tales. But when I decided, quite reasonably, that Dr. Placeholder McDoctorate was the most likely candidate for having invented this fake machine, well, things took a turn for the productively strange.

I told Place himself, and he called me on Discord to rant and rave and brainstorm for several hours. By the time that first call was over, we had a truly bonkers SCP concept on our hands.

He'd always been very complimentary towards 5243, so he wanted to make it a dark reflection of that. I'd always been amazed by his ability to weave a web of otherwise impenetrable story strings into something that makes terribly sane sense, and he did that here //par excellence.// I poured in the character beats, he kept the lunacy straight and storyboarded it all out. I did the Photoshopping, he did the CSS. I wrote the logs, he wrote the SCP. We had a creative back-and-forth for weeks, and when it was done we'd hammered out something really, really cool that belonged so equally to both of us it would be a supreme chore to finally say who did what.

I wasn't sure anyone else would like it as much as we did. It's immensely gratifying to see the sheer number of people who have.

The ideal collaborative experience, start to finish. Zero regrets, only warm memories. And the beginning of more than one grand new thing, to boot!
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Right, cool, now that the concept of trilogies is done and dusted...

...let's write three SCPs in a row for one contest.

FUCK.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The JamCon Admittedly-a-Trilogy**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #F5DFB9; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Ship of Dreams"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5238]]]

**Object Lesson:** Truth is fiction.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "There is the water. It is inside the ship."

**Dissection:** JamCon! Robbed me. Seriously, this is one of the best SCPs I've written, and I've written a lot of them. It's fucking //insane.// I took a real-world thing that couldn't be wackier -- a book //accurately predicted// Titanic's //sinking// -- and then made that MORE CRAZY. I'm proud as fuck about this, and I'll break my usual self-effacing character to say hey, if you didn't read this, I'm mad at you. I'll stay mad at you until you //do// read it. It's fucking fantastic, and you owe me.

Sue me, I'm sea-salty about it.

[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #FFFFFF; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Person-to-Personal Computer"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Item #:** [[[SCP-5295]]]

**Object Lesson:** Power corrupts.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "You may not switch off your Macintosh safely."

**Dissection:** The JamCon middle child. I adore the Mac LC III which forms the basis of this skip, and I've wanted to use it for something for a while. It even gets an early bird cameo in one of the Time After Time Password tales. I had a lot of fun with the Mac error message, and the tale of the corrupt IT chief. Making all these tales part of my Site's backstory was fun, since that was the "Phase" my series was in at the time, and whacking out three SCPs in short order was //also// fun. Less fun? Finding out I was supposed to be farting out shitposts instead of writing real things under a time limit. Oh well, I'll know for next year.

...

WHAT. I can be like this on my own fucking author page, why are you even reading this if you don't want to wallow in my self-pity?

Anyway, it's a sign of how exhausted I was getting that I fucked up my numbering scheme. Luckily I was able to retroactively decide all the JamCon entries would be 52XX. There's always a way to soothe the OCD if I look hard enough! Unfortunately.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D9D9D9; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Man of the Hour"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5281 SCP-5281-D]

**Object Lesson:** Every decision has a cost.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "We get along well, you and I, but your fixation on this one element of my personality is really beginning to grate on me."

**Dissection:** The moment JamCon started, I hoped it would give me an excuse to do a decommissioned skip. I had only the vaguest idea what I was gonna do for it, but I'd already teased this dude in the tales I wrote about my author avatar's first days at Site-43, so that ended up being the ticket.

"What could possibly go wrong?" was the perfect theme for this. I just piled tons on tons of evidence up for why this guy is nothing but bad, why it's a literal no-victim crime to put a bullet in his head, and it still causes a disaster when they finally do it. Couldn't have asked for a better theme.

This one did pretty well! I'm still tremendously pleased with JamCon, because I ended that exhausting three-day period with three full-fledged, high-quality skips that I only needed to edit a little afterwards to fix some minor errors. Fuck it, I'll probably make the same mistake again next year. I'd probably still be sitting on all these ideas if I hadn't done them for the contest.

It does bear repeating, though: I wrote every word of these, sourced/created all the images, and figured out everything beyond the vaguest sketch of an idea //after// the themes were announced. Three crazy days.

Only thing I've written Grigori hasn't read. Doesn't like cannibalism. 

Weirdo.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[/table]]

Ain't got nothin' to put between these.

'cept'n these words'm.

[[table]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 12px; text-align: center; width: 700px"]]
**The Oops Still a Trilogy Trilogy**
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #D5FFC9; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Taped Confessions"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5379]]]

**Object Lesson:** Boys will be boys.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "I'm sharpening my straw into a shiv."

**Dissection:** Once [[*user Grigori Karpin]] decided he wanted to make his GoI //everyone's// GoI, I committed to dreaming up an idea. Still stuck in the Site-43 backstory mode, I thought I could use it to give some characterization to my Site Director. I ended up using it to give some characterization to me, or at least my feelings about toxic masculinity.

I also used it to post a creepy-ass picture of a mannequin, and whatever the fuck that picture I used for the first commercial was supposed to be of.

Had a lot of fun. Got another VKTM in the pipeline for post-6kon.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #F2E0C2; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Lever"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5416]]]

**Object Lesson:** RTFM.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "You're not supposed to WHY the ConProcs!"

**Dissection:** When I wrote 5243, I wrote twelve thousand words of addenda describing the various wacky timelines it created. Ended up not posting any of that, and shelving it for a later tale series. One of the bad timelines happened because someone used an SCP with a blackboxed number to accidentally shift a whole Section of the Site out of whack; this is that SCP, which now won't need to be blackboxed when the time comes. What fun!

Kinda weird to me to be staring at the image, because I still have that statuette on my desk... but I dropped it shortly after posting, and chipped the ear. The SCP now has the only intact version of this thing. Spooky.

It's fun to hold.

Oh! There's some series mythology hints in here. They're in most of the SCPs written in this "era," actually. I've started figuring the metaplot out. Hopefully some day someone looks back on these and goes "ohhhhh." I live for that shit.
[[/cell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #F2F2C2; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Insatiable Semantic"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]

**Item #:** [[[SCP-5524]]]

**Object Lesson:** Share your problems with your friends.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "That is the stupidest name I have ever heard, and my name is William Wettle."

**Dissection:** This dumb-ass name popped into my head one night when I was driving, driving nowhere in the dark, just driving to keep my car in working order. I started saying "Brury Regevoy" to myself, over and over, in increasingly absurd combinations. Every syllable was hypnotic. The absurdity of "Brury," the crazy journey it takes your mental and literal tongues on. The weird feeling that "Regevoy" means something, //imports// some meaning, even though it's just gibberish. As with 5162, my whole goal was to take this brainfeel and pass it on virally to others.

Boy howdy, did it work.

Oh, it was also a B_____'s Challenge. Banged it out in like three hours. Found a hilariously vacant-looking dude image, and made a weaponized meme pic that I'm still proud of. Freaky-looking shit. Even more myth arc hints in this one! I don't let up, even in the shitposts.
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Okay okay I wanna post something okay okay //here goes.//

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**The I'm Not Me Unilology**
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"The War Pigs, or Pygmalien"
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**Item #:** [[[SCP-5694]]]

**Object Lesson:** Self-parody is only funny when it hurts.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "Death spray! To melt the insides."

**Dissection:** I've always enjoyed [[*user PlaguePJP]]'s character pieces; I have tremendous envy for the energy, hilarity and characterization he's able to pack into a small package. I decided he'd be a great target for an Impostor Challenge, and I was right, because the result is one of the funniest things I've written.

The thought process was lightning-fast: War Pigs -> //Pygmalion// -> pig aliens. The writing process was almost as fast, because once I started hammering out ridiculous alien-speak I just couldn't stop. One of the most free-flowing, organic pieces I've ever written. Wouldn't trade it for all the war in the world.
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Ah, I should write more short pieces.

I know! I'll write //nah just kidding the next one's like 9k.//

[[table]]
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**The Okay These Are Totally Unrelated Trilogy**
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"The Woman in the Incinerator"
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**Item #:** [[[SCP-5616]]]

**Object Lesson:** Be your own hero.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "It was always going to be me."

**Dissection:** My offhand mention of the REISNO Cannon set [[*user Placeholder McD]] into paroxysms of creativity, and he returned the favour in the person of Dr. Ilse Reynders. He's writing up a scientific article on Acroamatic Abatement, and he asked if I had any olde timey researchers who could have been trapped in a room with counterchronological material since the forties. We settled on Ilse, a minor character from [[[The Good Work]]], and my gears started turning immediately.

The idea of a character forced to live an eternity behind glass, permanently separated from others, bettering herself, slowly realizing that salvation would only come if she summoned it, really strongly appealed. I wanted to write my ultimate subversion of the "woman in the refrigerator" trope, a woman who refuses to let her tragedy define her, who refuses to be other people's backstory, who gets herself out of the situation on her own merits. She's not an instrument for the character development of the men around her, she's the hero of her own story.

I got damn lucky with those pics, a whole series of images of a woman who looked like a spunky PhD because she //actually is a spunky PhD.// Looks like a cool lady, so she fit the cool lady I was already writing to a "T."

Special thanks to [[*user Grigori Karpin]] for making sure I didn't repeat too much of the earlier history skips here. Helped me re-centre it on Ilse herself, which was very valuable.

Long as hell but seems to strike a chord with people, which is grand. Ilse is already one of my favourite characters, and it was a real joy to put her on the Site Dossier. Even more joyous is that people react to the second page of this SCP the way I reacted to it; being able to reliably pull an emotional response out of people is a sign you've put in the right amount of work.

The right amount of work for this SCP was //a lot.//

Can't wait to see what Place does with Ilse. I have plans of my own, of course. I always have plans.
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"Ratings That Stick" (with [[*user nickthebrick1]]!)
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**Item #:** [[[SCP-5488]]]

**Object Lesson:** Early adopters suffer.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "This anomaly is going to give me a ██████ aneurysm I swear."

**Dissection:** My second collab with nickthebrick1! He comes up with the best ideas. My own ridiculously-selective writer's block slowed the progress of this to a crawl, and I still feel guilty about that, but boy howdy am I pleased with what we put together here. I think it's funny as hell, and that's all down to the inimitable brick man himself.

This was the first listpages thing on the site to also have an adult splash page. //It took years off my fucking life.// It did not go well. It would not have gone at all if not for the fabulous efforts of the Tech Team and particularly [[*user Stormbreath]]. Support your local nerds!
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"The Slot Goblin" (with [[*user PlaguePJP]]!)
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**Item #:** [[[SCP-7525-EX]]]

**Object Lesson:** Wikidoesn't.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "Fuck you too."

**Dissection:** [[*user PlaguePJP]] came to me with this entire idea fully-formed, and that incredible fucking image, and went "you wanna?" I did wanna, and we did. In like four hours.

Wikidot is a trashfire, and it's about to burn itself out. The SCP-5257 slot has been bouncing between "mostly doesn't work" and "completely doesn't work," so we wrote a skip about that. I sprinkled in a bunch of my own silly, not-really-serious complaints about what happens when you try to pick a slot number in happier times, and a bunch of in-jokes, and Plague wrote a truly hilarious MTF log, and there we were.

Tried to post it to SCP-5257-EX only to find that that the same bug affected //that// slot. Fucking madness! Wrote that into the skip.

Hope the real slot never comes fully back online, because then we'll have to write another addendum and //who wants that really.//

Sheer joy from start to early finish. Nobody else was posting, so we got the site to ourselves! Shitpost tears up the ratings.
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------
[[div]]
[[=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Blank Tales, or How Many Words Must a Man Jot Down " hide="- Hope you've got an attention span!"]]
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------
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"The Significant Others"
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[[=]]
**[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-significant-others-part-a Part "A"]**
[[/=]]
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[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; background-color: #FFFDF3" colspan="1"]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/the-significant-others-part-b Part "B"]**
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One of the reasons I was excited to write SCP-5056 was its potential to pack an emotional punch — it's about a dude getting permanently stuck with an anomaly, and going about his day-to-day drudgery saddled with all the paranormal baggage which comes with. My greenlighting conversation with [[*user Boogey_Man23]] and [[*user Sonderance]] particularly emphasized this potential.

While the article as it stands does touch base on that theme, I wasn't able to explore it as much as I wanted to without breaking the format. I always intended to write a short tale about Phil and Doug.

This is not a short tale. It's not even two short tales! [[*user Grigori Karpin]] got it right: it's a novella in two parts.

I'd meant to come up with an adventure for the 5056 couple, something that would allow me to delve into their backstory across eighteen years of awkward companionship. Then I actually started writing, and a romance plot developed out of thin air, and I started seeing Doug as a manifestation of certain... mental mechanisms I have considerably personal experience with, and before I knew it I had over twenty thousand words written.

Geez, I hope they're in the right order.

Oh, fun fact: the title was one I was kicking around for the original SCP. I'm glad I used "The Constant Companions," though, because "The Significant Others" actually has more than one meaning in the context of this tale.

I wanted to put my ersatz drawing "skills" to work this time, since one scene in each half struck me as evocatively melancholic. I think they turned out alright. The real hard part was figuring out how the fuck to draw Doug; as the page image for 5056 shows, it's almost impossible to render the description I wrote without making him look like a fucking electrical socket. (There's even a joke about that in Part "B"; there are also jokes about how bad my original Photoshopped pic for 5056 was, and how much Doug's design has changed since the once presently in use.) I'm pleased that I've now drawn him three times now without him looking //too// doofy.

Yeah, three times.

------

[[=image Doug.png class="img-responsive"]]
[[=]]
> "Hello, Philip."
[[/=]]
[[/div]]
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And now for something completely collaborative.

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Canon Renaissance Contest - Team Resurrecting Resurrection
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[[=]]
**[[[Such a Shame It Didn't Work]]]**
[[/=]]
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[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
This tale is my first contribution to our contest series, **Old Foes**. I wanted to use Dr. Dan pretty much from the moment we picked this canon, because he struck me as uniquely grounded among the author avatars. Dude's got a personality, and he's got some stuff to atone for. But what could he have been doing all this time, if he wasn't executed? Nobody's ever written a word about him on the site, as far as I can see, except [[*user Dr Dan]] himself.

When the solution came to me, I knew I had to do this. And boy, it's gonna pay off further with my tales later on. Hope you're ready for some nonsense!

You're not. Trust me, you just aren't.

**Update:** Holy //shit,// this contest. My //tale// just hit //fifty.// And this was just the entrée.

**Update 2, No Sequel Joke:** Uh what the fuck this is my highest-rated thing now. Thank you?

**Update 3, Update with a Vengeance:** This just spent rather a long time as the highest-rated contest entry. Currently, it's tied for that honour. No matter what happens, I want you all to know that I have appreciated your votes and comments tremendously :)
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[[=]]
**[[[Sun (Sister) and Moon (Champion)]]]**
[[/=]]
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I revise. It's what I do, it's how I write. I start with whatever part of a story immediately grabs me, banging out the context as I go, building where I can and developing a structure on the fly. When I've got most of the structure figured out, most of the parts in place, I re-write the entire thing from scratch. Literally type all the words out a second time, while my brain tidies it up before it hits the keyboard. I do this several times for everything I post. I have thousands of revisions on my sandboxes.

It's a good thing I do it that way, because Moon Champion is //so hard to write.//

You might think you can just have him say Moon-this and Moon-that a lot, spout some gibberish, and be done with it. Nope. A very little of that goes a very long way. Too much of Moon Champion being Moon Champion quickly becomes infuriating; part of the undeniable beauty of the original article, by [[*user CadaverCommander]], is how well it balances the character's absurd dialogue with little slice-of-life depictions of him //not dialoguing.// Because I couldn't do that here, well, I had a hell of a time getting him to not irritate the fuck out of me with my own words. But I revised, and revised, and //revised,// and here we are.

Sauelsuesor also took a few passes to get right; I think I can say that was the result, getting it "right," because people seem to have found the piece charming so far, and that's what I wanted.

These characters, and their creators, are fantastic, so I hope they take this as my thank-you to them for their great work. Wait'll you see what I do with them next, mwahaha.

Oh, also, holy shit thank you all for reading and voting, love y'all.
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[[=]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/the-bowe-decommission-part-one The Bowe Decommission, Part One]**
[[/=]]
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When I want to write, I want to write. Once I knew what canon we were doing for this contest, and once I knew our overall plotline, and once I'd picked my main character, I quickly figured out what I could get started on without stepping on anyone's toes. Site-19's inventory dumped out on the world, and creative solutions to the problems that poses; what a premise!

It took an incredible amount of work. I opened every SCP that contains the term "Site-19" and scanned it, looking for stuff I could use. I made up a list of about forty skips, and started trying to imagine what mini-stories I could tell with them. There were some real winners in that list, and I wanted to make more extensive use of them; I got in touch with a few authors, for more recent or more famous skips, to make sure I wasn't stepping on any toes.

But I particularly wanted to showcase stuff that's not doing as well as it should be, because there's a lot of that on this site. With that in mind I made sure each part of this story includes skips from all six series, and at least a few things with two-digit ratings. I hope I can get a few extra eyes on that stuff with my little (huge) ode to anomalous wackiness.

Each part of this tale escalates said wackiness until it's balls-to-the-wall insanity. I hope you enjoy that progression as much as I have; this has been endlessly entertaining and rewarding for me.
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[[=]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/the-b-b-decommission The B&B Decommission]**
[[/=]]
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The idea was to buffer my Bowe Decommission tales with stuff that //wasn't// my Bowe Decommission tales. Originally TBD was a two-parter, so it was just gonna be the collab in between. And then I realized I was writing an epic three-parter.

So, the idea //here// was to tell an off-side story. I wasn't trying to "show off" my stuff, I just thought I could use it to write a quick, fun action story showing how one Site, my Site, dealt with the situation. Did that come through? I dunno. But it's what I did. And I'm still super proud of that ending.

I'll be writing a lot more about these people in the days to come.
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[[=]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/the-bowe-decommission-part-two The Bowe Decommission, Part Two]**
[[/=]]
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So, here's where I'm clearly just endangering our lead in the contest by writing long stuff. Yeah, yeah, I know, you don't like long stuff. Well //listen,// strawman, I wanted to really dig into Dr. Dan and this disaster, and it turned out that I couldn't cover all the really important story beats without taking my sweet-ass time. So, I did.

I think each of these stories ended up telling a different sort of tale, as Dr. Dan's hour grew increasingly late and the chaos ramped up. This is the tale where it becomes apparent that we're dealing with the full extent of our site's insanity, that Harry takes a Grant Morrison view of canon - it's all real. 

This is also the tale where I got to have a lot of fun with other people's toys. My goodness, Bigg Redd and Moon Champion and Turbo Thompson are fun. Writing for this series has taught me something I thought I already knew: shared universes are fantastic.
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[[=]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/scenes-from-a-comprehensive-clusterfuck Scenes from a Comprehensive Clusterfuck]**  
(with [[*user Karakatt]], [[*user notgull]], and [[*user The Pighead]])
[[/=]]
[[/hcell]]
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[[row]]
[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
This thing, wow. It call came together so fast! I wrote most of my stuff after the other three members had submitted their scenes. I knit them together, and was amazed at how well the whole thing worked as a... well, as a whole. Kara's parking scene and gull's FEC mixup were the first two ideas floated, and on the strength of that nuttiness I suggested calling it all "Scenes from a Generalized Clusterfuck." A slightly different name, and many, many scenes later, and we have this thing here.

I think it's quite coherent, and I like it a lot. I built many of my scenes on the backs of what my colleagues gave me, used them as glue for my more disparate ideas. It was a real group effort, just like the project writ large has been.

Collab at me, bro.
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[[=]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/the-bowe-decommission-part-three The Bowe Decommission, Part Three]**
[[/=]]
[[/hcell]]
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[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
I've had this endgame in various stages of constuction for the entire time I've been writing for the contest. I knew how I wanted this to end, the scenes I wanted to set. I laboured long and hard over these three long tales to make sure they did what I wanted them to: expose people to popular //and// overlooked SCPs that I think are great, play around with fun characters, build Dr. Dan into someone I can use a lot for tales going forward, and present some wildly hilarious fanservice along the way.

I'm extremely proud of the way it turned out.
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[[=]]
**[http://www.scpwiki.com/broken-bowe Broken Bowe]**
[[/=]]
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Originally we were just going to end with gull's General Bowe skip. And then I suggested we do a collaborative epilogue, in addition to our other collaborative tale.

And then I wrote the epilogue! Oh well. I wanted to hammer home what had happened, explore the characters some more, do a sort of //Animal House// check-in on our protagonists, set up future directions and introduce a few last-minute twists. I think a good epilogue should be melancholy, bittersweet, kinda funny and cute, and it should also put everything that came before in a different light. Did I manage all that? Well, uh, you tell me.

This contest has been the most fun I've had writing for the site, and I have had NOTHING BUT FUN writing for the site. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, and I hope to continue to write for Res in the future. It's great fun, and I think it has real value as a showcase for the best of what the community has to offer. 

In these five tales, we reference **fifty-four SCP files**.

How do you like //them// anomalies.
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[[/collapsible]]

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[[div]]
[[=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Blank Pages, or Words What Won't Conform, Man" hide="- Hope you like whatever these are!"]]
[[/=]]
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[[table]]
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**The Scariest Thing I've Posted (But It's Only Scary to Me)**
[[/cell]]
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[[hcell style="border: 1px solid black; background-color: #F9E7FF; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px"]]
"The Lake Huron Research and Containment Facility"
[[/hcell]]
[[/row]]
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[[cell style="border: 1px solid black; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px;"]]
**Secure Facility Dossier:** [http://www.scpwiki.com/secure-facility-dossier-site-43 Site-43]

**Object Lesson:** Worlds build themselves while you're doing other things.

**Special Quotation Procedures:** "The victors are written by history."

**Dissection:** I have wanted a Site dossier, and not wanted to post one and get critically savaged, for a long time. I've been working on this one since the end of my first trilogy of articles, although only the basic boilerplate text from the earliest iterations survived. I was going to make the meat of the dossier the story of how the Site came into existence; in the end, the whole thing came to a whopping 5.5k words, and [[*user Grigori Karpin]] convinced me to split that shit off. That's when I came up with the idea of doing a slice-of-life thing, really characterizing the ominous departments I'd been name-dropping since 5056. I did a //lot// of work in Inkscape, making up vector images for Section logos, and I had great fun with that insane map.

Once I was definitely making the history pieces their own separate things, I got the idea of using the dossier as a hub for Foundation academic material. If the two articles I already have up don't fail utterly (one of them is in serious danger of this) I'll produce more... and shop them around a bunch before posting them, this time. I think it's a fun idea.

God, was I afraid of posting this thing.

**Assessment:** So far, nobody hates it. That might be because the hatred has been reserved for the academic articles, though.
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[[=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Blank Friendart, or Drawing a Blank " hide="- Thank you for your pixels!"]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
|float=true
|align=center
|width=700px
|url=5494.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption=[[*user PLAGUEPJP]] DREW MY THING
]]

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[[/div]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
|float=true
|align=center
|width=300px
|url=Xilas.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption=Portrait of my IRC persona by [[*user XilasCrowe]] who thinks I look like a hairy turd apparently
]]

[[div style="height:12px;"]]
[[/div]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
|float=true
|align=center
|width=500px
|url=tiamat_final.png
|add-caption=true
|caption=A lovely rendition of [[[SCP-5866]]] by [[*user Ralliston]], hooray!
]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
|float=true
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|url=highaltitudetiamat.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption=A gorgeous interpretation of [[[SCP-5866]]] by [https://red-sprite-lightning.tumblr.com/ red-sprite-lightning!] Follow that link to check out their tumblr
]]

[[div style="height:12px;"]]
[[/div]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
|float=true
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|width=700px
|url=Lillian.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption=Portrait of Dr. Lillian Lillihammer by [[*user EstrellaYoshte]] which takes my breath away
]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |click-fullscreen=--]
|speed=250
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|url=pastawynn.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption= [[*user pastarasta1]] absolutely goddamn nailing [[[SCP-5520]]].
]]
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[[/collapsible]]

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[[div]]
[[=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Author's Will " hide="- or "Author's Wont""]]
If I die/ragequit/disappear for six months/die/get banned/die, anything co-authored goes to whoever co-authored it. Other than that, authorial rights are granted as follows: [[*user Grigori Karpin]] gets my Resurrection stuff, [[*user ihp]] gets my S&C Plastics tales, [[*user Ralliston]] gets [[[SCP-5977]]], [[*user Ralliston]] and [[*user JakdragonX]] get their dictionary, and everything else is all y'all's. Don't let nobody tell you different. Even me.
[[/collapsible]]
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[[=]]
+ Harry's Containment Class Tally!

[[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Euclid.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5056"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Safe.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5109"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Keter.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5243"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Crass2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-cash4d-j"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Thaumiel2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5382"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Ticonderoga2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5494"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Archon2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5520"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Apollyon2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5618"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Cernunnos2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5751"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Tiamat2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5866"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Eparch2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5977"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Explained2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5054-ex"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Pending2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5162"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Antithesis2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5956"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Maksur2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5238"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Continua2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5295"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Decommissioned2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5281"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Uncontained.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5379"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Neutralized.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5416"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Anomalous.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5524"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Godel2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5616"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Memet.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5056/offset/1"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Kusum2.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5729"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Entos.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5883"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Conscientia.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-5974"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Damballah.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/SCP-6056"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Aegis.png link="https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/pickman-blank-proposal"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Archived.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6121"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Simpatico.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6263"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/FlorGalana.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6382"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Gevurah.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6484"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Ether.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6519"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Gleipnir.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6643"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Inimical.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-7000"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Khonsu.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6721"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Argus.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6858"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Drygioni.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-6965"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Sapientia.png link="http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-7056"]] [[image http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/Endeminis.png link="https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7173"]]
[[/=]]
[[/div]]

------
[[div]]
[[=]]
+ Estrella's Cool Badges!

[[include component:sybadge code=tsf]]
[[include component:sybadge code=tlt]]
[[include component:sybadge code=tbe]]
[[include component:sybadge code=apf]]
[[include component:sybadge code=gsa]]
[[include component:sybadge code=str]]
[[include component:sybadge code=clb]]
[[include component:sybadge code=dado]]
[[include component:sybadge code=ccc]]
[[include component:sybadge code=sek]]
[[include component:sybadge code=pdp]]
[[include component:sybadge code=chl]]
[[include component:sybadge code=mww]]
[[include component:sybadge code=pvr]]
[[include component:sybadge code=awb]]
[[include component:sybadge code=cda]]
[[include component:sybadge code=pbs]]
[[include component:sybadge code=egd]]
[[include component:sybadge code=cts]]
[[include component:sybadge code=srs]]
[[/=]]


[[module CSS]]
:root {
 --borderColor: #489966;
}
[[/module]]

[[/div]]

------

[[=image http://scpdsandbox.wdfiles.com/local--files/scp-7243/LoserPromo2.jpg link="https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/SCP-7000"]]

[[=image https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/this-page-intentionally-left-blank/epv.jpg link="https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/SCP-7243"]]

----
[[div]]
[[=]]
[[collapsible show="+ How's my driving? " hide="- Driven!"]]
[[module ListPages created_by="HarryBlank" order="created_at" separate="no" perPage="250" prependLine="||~ Rating||~ Title ||~ Comments ||~ Last Comment ||"]]
|| %%rating%% || %%title_linked%% || %%comments%% || %%commented_by%% ||
[[/module]]
[[/=]]
[[/div]]
[[/collapsible]]
------

[[/div]]

[[div]]
[[=]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
=====
[[<]]
> **Filename:** 5494.jpg
> **Author:** [[*user PlaguePJP]]
> **License:** CC BY 3.0

> **Filename:** highaltitudetiamat.jpg
> **Author:** red-sprite-lightning
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0

> **Filename:** Lillian.jpg
> **Author:** [[*user EstrellaYoshte]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0

> **Filename:** tiamat-final.png
> **Author:** [[*user Ralliston]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0

> **Filename:** wagon.jpg
> **Title:** Watkins Remedies saleswagon 1900
> **Author:** Unknown author
> **License:** Public Domain
> **Source:** [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Watkins_Remedies_saleswagon_1900.jpg Wikimedia Commons]

> **Filename:** Xilas.jpg
> **Author:** [[*user XilasCrowe]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0

> **Filename:** All remaining .jpg/.png files
> **Author:** [[*user HarryBlank]]
> **License:** CC BY 3.0
[[/<]]
=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]
[[/=]]
[[/div]]