Uraniumempire's Personnel File

Link to article: Uraniumempire's Personnel File.

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+ Before I go...
* Post an Apollyon and Explained
* Codify Izzy's connection to Jude
* Codify all three Irises as trans
* Make Nadox and Derdekeas's relationship better defined
* Establish the Daevite trump cards, along with the two jokers
 * Established: JoH, JoS, JoD, JoC, QoS, KoC, AoH, AoD, RJ
* Post the Site-56 dossier
* Rewrite 1285, 3428, and 3472
* Get a mobile task force recognized
* Write for Project Crossover
* Post BLACK FLY
* Finish Black and White and Red All Over + Post Mortem Resistance
* Finish WWYDFTLTIMD, up to final self-titled tale
* Get Olney Ironworks recognized as a GoI
* Create an Olney Ironworks format
* Write a GoI format for every GoI
 * Formats: Ambrose Restaurants, Herman Fuller, Nobody
* Write something for every canon
 * Canons: Dread & Circuses, The Gulf, In Memoria Adytum, On Mount Golgotha, Site-17 Deepwell Catalog, Those Twisted Pines, The Trashfire, Unfounded
* Establish David and Alexandra Saint-Yves
* Post We Can Be Tourists
* Establish the post-2065 BM Trashfire timeline
* Complete SF-Class Soft Rains Scenario
* Write and finish CALAMITY

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[[tabview]]
[[tab Personnel File]]
**Name:** Eleanor U███████ Empira

**Occupation:** IT Technician

**Clearance level:** //null// ^^okay fuck you guys give me my key card already^^
[[/tab]]
[[tab Characters]]
hi these are my characters.

Feel free to use them however you want!

[[collapsible show="Fats Burg" hide="Trash a bank if you got real balls!"]]
**Appears in:** [[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]], [[[are-we-gentrified-yet|Are We Gentrified Yet?]]] (cameo)
**Summary:** Fats Burgs is an anartist and mason in Outer Lichtenberg, where he was shanghaied into a loose leadership position within the local SWJC? commune. A neopagan, his beating over the kidnapping of his abominable fae "muse" lead to a vicious street war between SWJC Lichtenberg and 4R. Not afraid to bugs bunny a bitch.
**How does he take his coffee:** Rarely; OL isn't a very good climate to grow that in.
**How does he swear?:** A lot.
**Favorite meal?:** Currywurst w/ mushrooms, which he has to travel out of OL for.
**Favorite animal?:** Rat.
**Music taste?:** Gutter punk and eurodance, which you'll never get him to admit.
**What does he look like?:** "At 5' even, with a frame like a twig and a 'five-o-clock shadow' that didn't go beyond a brunet goat patch, it was hard to believe Fats was 27 years old, let alone a //mason// of all things. Maybe he made up for it with the attitude that seemed to follow him everywhere."
**What TMA Fear does he best represent?:** The Buried
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="'Brad Lee Cameron'" hide="And that's how I learned how to Survive"]]
**Appears in:** [[[WWYDFTLTIMD-Hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in my Dreams]]]
**Summary:** Depending on who they are, characters know Xuegang Montgomery Cameron-Long as either "Long Xuegang", "Monty Long", "Brad Lee Cameron", "Bradley Cameron", "Bradley Long", "Cameron Long", "Cameron Montgomery", or "The Dragon of SoHo", the last of which comes from a shameful accident during the 2006 BackDoor SoHo Chinese New Year Parade (which he's quick to inform caused no deaths). Was one of the main organizers of the King of Hearts Collective (named after Jack of Spades's ornery uncle), as well as a White Wolf "religion" that's more the theological equivalent of stealing your neighbor's electricity. //Probably// no longer involved in the criminal underworld.
**How do he take his coffee:** Black, mostly.
**How does he swear?:** If he's //not// swearing, something's incredibly wrong.
**Favorite meal?:** Magic-roasted chicken.
**Favorite animal?:** Fond of exotic cats.
**Music taste?:** Anything from Elephant 6, honestly.
**What does he look like?:** "5'8", rail-thin, black pompadour, ill-tempered look on his face, smoking an incense stick as if it were a cigarette and somehow succeeding. Looks like they weren't lying about Mr. Cameron-Long."
**What TMA Fear does he best represent?:** The Spiral
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="The Covenants" hide="Cause I can't even look in your Eyes/Without shakin'..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[WWYDFTLTIMD-Hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in my Dreams]]], [[[SCP-4886]]], [[[jacklyn-diamandis-accountable-to-nobody|jacklyn diamandis, accountable to nobody]]]
**Summary:** The Covenants (Orvo the Verdant, Hgan the Scarlet, Lror the Violet, and Ydax the Pallid) are ancient Daevite spymasters descended from foul rituals between the Matriarchs and the Daevite Gods. They are subject to a biological and thaumic imperative to build an army for the empire, aided by the ability to wear the skin of others. Not really good people, for a variety of reasons ranging from petty drama to serial murder.
**How do they take their coffee:** They have no biological need, but Hgan likes coffee with cream.
**How do they swear?:** Very, very rarely. A noble who must swear to make his point is weak. This does not include Hgan, who spent too much time around humans.
**Favorite meal?:** They don't eat. They //can't// eat, in fact! It just goes to their innards and rots.
**Favorite animal?:** Hgan likes humans. The others don't like animals.
**Music taste?:** String music. Hgan especially likes complex compositions
**What do they look like?:** Don't look under their skinsuits, or you'll find out :)
* "Ydax the Pallid was sired by an entity that couldn't care less about it, and it shows: the thing before you is a mishappen lump of pale, squirming flesh, barely humanoid in shape. The thing has no face, only eyespots that seem to melt over its torso, squirming independently of its body. Its right arm is larger than its left, so large that its hand lies flat against the earth, 'fingers' splayed like some malformed starfish. Perhaps worst of all, then, is the superb dexterity of its left arm, the precision with which you've seen it wield a carving knife."
**What TMA Fear do they best represent?:** The Web, the Hunt, the Corruption, and the Hunt, respectively.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Dr. Nigel Cunningham" hide="We're sorry/we hate to interrupt/but it's Against The Law to jump off this bridge..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[SCP-6355]]], [[[Turn the lights off when you leave.]]] and [[[Fourth Degree]]] (mentioned)
**Summary:** Dr. Nigel Cunningham is the director of Site-02, and a member of the Fire Suppression Department. Proud to break ground as the SCP Foundation's first Black and nonbinary criminal against humanity, which they will eventually transcend for machine.
**How do they take their coffee:** Black, laced with microdosages of common poisons for immunity.
**How do they swear?:** Only once, when they caught their son having premarital relations with a classmate, and on //Nigel's bed// of all places. It was a very tense dinner.
**Favorite meal?:** Full English breakfast.
**Favorite animal?:** Turtles. They keep a vivarium with some back home.
**Music taste?:** Old school country.
**What do they look like?:** "The room goes dead. At the door is Dr. Nigel Cunningham, smiling gently, looking utterly unlike their reputation. They seem younger than you expected, though their short beard is speckled with gray, and their head is shaved clean. Maybe their dark skin hides the wrinkles... but then, the contours of their smile are visible enough. You try to look at their eyes, but the glare on their round glasses is seemingly ever-present."
**What TMA Fear do they best represent?:** The Web
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Demura Tamiko" hide="i'm coming to the garden"]]
**Appears in:** [[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]]
**Summary:** Demura Tamiko was a tourist from Osaka who was murdered by one Alonso Andino in Cologne and, with the help of one Acolyte Dunst, bound as an Onryō. Now that Alonso's out of the picture, only rage binds her to this world... well, that and the Lichtenberg art scene.
**How does she take her coffee:** She already can't sleep.
**How does she swear?:** Eh.
**Favorite meal?:** Terror.
**Favorite animal?:** Prairie dogs.
**Music taste?:** City pop and brass cover bands.
**What does she look like?:** "Haha, okay. You're not sure what the elephant in the room is supposed to be, here. Is it her skin, too pale not to be a medical condition, save (especially?) the blackening at her extremities? What about the tangled mess of hair covering her face? The steady drip from underneath? Her dirtied claws? The smell of expired perfume and blood? Or could it be that she's insanely gorgeous in a way that, given her origin, is downright revolting?"
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Slaughter
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Veronica Fitzroy" hide="I am a Monster and I made it so."]]
**Appears in:** All pages tagged with {{veronica-fitzroy}}, [[[How To Remove Glitter From A Polyester Dress]]] (cameo)
**Summary:** Veronica's a drummer, audio/hardware engineer, and serial felon from Staten Island. She created [[[SCP-952]]], resulting in the death of bandmate Sara Yarkoni, a botched suicide that lead to a dead cop, and her enrollment into the D-Class program.
**How does she take their coffee:** Black, brewed in the garage coffee machine during a long work project.
**How do they swear?:** Quite a bit. She'll occasionally use the K/T slurs to describe herself.
**Favorite meal?:** Pizza, but since it makes her gain weight she doesn't typically eat it.
**Favorite animal?:** Possums. She rarely had to worry about rabies around them.
**Music taste?:** Anything with a bare minimum of production.
**What do they look like?:** "Was... was this woman okay? Veronica wasn't so skinny as to cause concern, wasn't so tired-looking that you'd tell them to go to bed, wasn't so pale that you'd question if she'd ever seen the sun, but the degree with which she was all three of these things //at the same time// was... troubling. Looked like her lean muscles, hairdo, and spite were the only parts of themself they hadn't let go of."
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Lonely
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Isabella Kawajiri" hide="I'm coming up man-sized/Skinned alive/I want to fit/I've got to get..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[WWYDFTLTIMD-Hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in my Dreams]]]
**Summary:** Izzy is a registered nurse-turned-bassist-turned-cephalopodic nightmare, having been born with an anomaly that allowed them to selectively assume such a form before an incident involving her sister Bethany made her lose track of her actual form.
**How does she take her coffee:** She doesn't drink coffee, preferring spiced teas.
**How does she swear?:** Only when stressed.
**Favorite meal?:** Shepherd's + pumpkin pie.
**Favorite animal?:** Surprisingly, hermit crabs.
**Music taste?:** Anything with //meaning//, don't you know?
**What does she look like?:** "She doesn't //look// like the kind of gal who commands a presence: short, pale, a bit pudgy, resting bitch face, and clothes that, other than marking her as butch, don't stick out. You have to see Isabella in motion to understand her grace, have to hear her speak. Hard not to get swept up."
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Flesh
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="King Worm" hide="it's just a burning memory."]]
**Appears in:** [[[SCP-4947]]], [[[SCP-4886]]] (ancillary)
**Summary:** King Worm, or the Pallid Prince/Archon, or that which makes holes in the shapes of worms, is an extrauniversal entity that was trapped within the universe on creation, and is attempting to eat its way out, becoming an antimeme in the process. It despises the fact that the universe has corrupted it to the point where its concepts (such as pronouns, names, and thinking) are applicable.
**How does it take its coffee:** With the cup, the machine, the table it rests on, and the mind of the owner.
**How does it swear?:** ##white|Like this.##
**Favorite meal?:** Reality. This is also its least favorite, and only, meal.
**Favorite animal?:** It doesn't like animals.
**Music taste?:** The sound of you no longer screaming.
**What does it look like?:** "It's a worm. It's a power line closing a circuit with a small animal. It's a hole where a monster should have been. It's a maze. It's a fault in reality. It's a fistula through the universes. It's terrible. And it's ever so hungry."
**What TMA Fear does it best represent?:** The Corruption
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Stella Lindholm" hide="When it's hot in the poor places tonight/I'm Not going outside."]]
**Appears in:** [[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]], various cameos for her produce
**Summary:** Stella Freja Lindholm is an urban farmer and central planner in Outer Lichtenberg. Through a combination of hard work, networking, and plant magic, she's one of the biggest sources of food in the Free Port. No, she doesn't want to talk. Please stop trying to get her to leave her apartment complex, she's fine where she is. Really, she's fine, it's safer inside.
**How does she take her coffee:** Coffee, tea, as long as she grew it herself.
**How does she swear?:**  Maybe a little.
**Favorite meal?:** Apples, home-grown.
**Favorite animal?:** Damselflies
**Music taste?:** Mostly noise, but if it sounds like Yvette Young, Lindholm's good.
**What does she look like?:** "You know, when you heard about a reclusive European parabotanist, you kinda expect someone... hunchbacky. Lindholm's not that: she's short, sure, but muscular, //especially// in her back, and has good posture for someone who literally never leaves her home. Long, frizzy hair, too. You're not sure why your mind went to that, but it's probably to keep you from dwelling on her cartoonish Scandinavian accent."
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Vast
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Hellen Martinez" hide="pearl diver, dive, dive deeper/pearl diver, dive dive Down..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[How To Clean A Polyester Dress]]], [[[Face In the Dollhouse]]] (PoV)
**Summary:** Hellen Martinez was a newly-graduated pre-med student when she disappeared in late July of 2009. She was affiliated with the Line of Sisters, a then-active trans-exclusionary radical feminist collective that dissolved later that November; writings found in her possession indicate she was growing jaded with the movement. Her whereabouts are unknown.
**How does she take her coffee:** Tea, p-please.
**How does she swear?:**  She tries not to.
**Favorite meal?:** Fried green tomato salad for dinner, apple tart for dessert.
**Favorite animal?:** Humpback whales!
**Music taste?:** She probably would have liked Mitski.
**What does she look like?:** "She honestly looked like something out of cartoon, or a... //reasonably// more progressive eighties movie: the shy nerd in the corner, dressed in a frilled pink tank over a white sweater vest and a shin-length skirt, eyes that might well have had hearts in them peeking from behind cutesy round glasses and tastefully-'messy' dreadlocks at the object of her affection. Aside from that (and the fact that she was the only black woman in the meeting), she was quite average, only about 5'8" all told and too quiet to speak up."
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Stranger
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Ashton Miyamoto" hide="I'm waiting for a Postcard that you won't write..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[WWYDFTLTIMD-Hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in my Dreams]]]
**Summary:** Ashton Miyamoto is a musician working as a security guard in BackDoor SoHo. They've been kind of a mess since college, rarely leaving their apartment except for groceries and their band, Yellowface. Worried they're bringing everyone down through neediness and social parasitism.
**How do they take their coffee:** Instant.
**How do they swear?:** A little here and there.
**Favorite meal?:** Fried rice in pho stock. Don't judge.
**Favorite animal?:** Pigeons.
**Music taste?:** Noise, mash-ups, remixes, and K.K. Slider covers, which you'd never get them to admit.
**What do they look like?:** "They're short, and you're not sure if they're also stocky or just covered in too many layers of jackets. Messy tufts of bleached-blond hair peak out of their Chippers cap, and their olive skin doesn't look like it's been touched by the sun in decades. Looks a little jumpy." 
**What TMA Fear do they best represent?:** The Eye
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Theresa Petrucci" hide="And the BLACK FLY, the little BLACK FLIES..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]], [[[filled-to-the-brim-with-girlish-glee|Filled to the Brim with Girlish Glee]]], [[[How To Clean A Polyester Dress]]]
**Summary:** Theresa Arianna Petrucci/Acolyte Dunst/##black|PINK FLY## is a terrible person. Her hobbies include chemistry (chemical weapons), DIY pyschotherapy (brainwashing people with chemical weapons and memes), and activism (violence). Originally part of a BackDoor radfem art collective, she fled to Europe after the suspicious murder of two members of the collective, joining the Fourth Reich.
**How does she take her coffee:** Coffee is poisonous, but a necessary poison. She prefers tea, however.
**How does she swear?:** If she's swearing, there's a massive, //massive// problem.
**Favorite meal?:** Doner w/ chopped salad and tea.
**Favorite animal?:** Horses.
**Music taste?:** Classical music, or the sounds of cracking bones.
**What does she look like?:** "Gangly, blonde, 'plain' but in the Hollywood sense of the word. Some kind of vitamin deficiency, maybe, but if so it's covered up by makeup. Good fashion. Warm smile. Kind eyes. Curt, but polite. She looks innocent, honestly, and talks to the others as if she hadn't been caked in someone else's blood just hours before."
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Web
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Elder Rockwell" hide="I got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, down in my heart."]]
**Appears in:** [[[the-trashfire|Christ In Scarlet]]]
**Summary:** Joseph Comstock Rockwell is a Christian minister, and one of the higher-ups of the Christian Ministries of America. Secretly, he works to spread a syncretism of Pentecostalism, Christian Identity, and Scarlet King worship throughout White America. Fun at parties, if you like trauma.
**How does he take his coffee:** Bloody.
**How does he swear?:** That's not very Christian of you.
**Favorite meal?:** Sunday roast.
**Favorite animal?:** Dogs, or animals that function as dogs.
**Music taste?:** Gospel and swing.
**What does he look like?:** "It didn't look like age had softened the burly man before you. If anything, it had little more than chiseled his face and arms with decorative grooves and accented lesions, emphasized the hard man that lurked beneath the charisma. Even his eyes looked as stone, piercing grey and equally cold."
**What TMA Fear does he best represent?:** The Slaughter
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Officers Efrain Rodríguez and Connor Zhou" hide="You'll be the First and Last to know."]]
**Appears in:** [[[the-trashfire|Christ In Scarlet]]]
**Summary:** Officers Efrain Rodríguez Guerrero and Connor Xieren Zhou are members of Mobile Task Force Gamma-691, "When Something Interesting Happens". Of the two of them, Zhou is the better shot, but Rodríguez is a better talker. Not an item, despite the stereotype for Gulf task forces. I wonder what they'll find in Whitewater...
**How do they take their coffee:** After years on shitty Foundation rations, the taste of coffee has little bearing on whether they'll drink it.
**How do they swear?:** Rodríguez doesn't swear often, but get him stressed enough and he'll curse like a sailor. Zhou hardly ever swears.
**Favorite meal?:** Pork tamales for Rodríguez, who has fond memories of Christmas with his family. Barbecue for Zhou, who has awkward memories of pretending to like his mother's take on Fujian cuisine.
**Favorite animal?:** Elephants for Rodríguez, pigs for Zhou.
**Music taste?:** Car rides with them at the front are constant battles between country and rock. Neither admits to enjoying pop.
**What do they look like?:**
* "Tall, tan, bald, and portly, Rodríguez has the look of an El Paso beat cop with a considerably friendlier attitude. He even holds himself like all this business is a meet and greet, like he's not here to find and capture a man-eating boar."
* "If ever there was a fed, however, his name would be Connor Zhou. The man's built for a suit and rubber soles, and the crew-cut certainly adds to to the look. Combine that with his steady posture and inquisitive demeanor, and all you're missing is a few more inches in height."
**What TMA Fear do they best represent:** The Desolation and the Vast.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Madeleine von Schaeffer" hide="blonde hair/red lips/blue face/tie clips"]]
**Appears in:** [[[How To Clean A Polyester Dress]]], [[[Face in the Dollhouse]]] (speaker)
**Summary:** Madeleine von Schaeffer is a German Aristocrat, or as much as you could be after two World Wars and a Cold War. She's one of the main investors in Just Girly Things, and about as emotionally and financially manipulative as you'd expect. Her family is part of a long line of neo-daevic worshippers of the Unseelie Queen. Made of porcelain, gold, and whatever flesh she couldn't cut away.
**How do they take their coffee:** Tea, if you would.
**How do they swear?:** It's not in her vocabulary.
**Favorite meal?:** Spargel and apricot dumplings.
**Favorite animal?:** Butterflies.
**Music taste?:** There was this one composer a while back whom she quite enjoyed. A shame she had to skin and stuff him.
**What does she look like?:** "She looked like a doll." "Is now the time?" "No, I mean //literally// like a doll. Her skin looks like porcelain, doesn't move like flesh is supposed to, her hair looks like gold, //actual// gold, and I don't know about you but I've never seen anyone that pretty outside of museums. Too pretty. Too tall. Freaked me right the fuck out."
**What TMA Fear does she best represent?:** The Stranger
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Bastian Schaus" hide="In a real Fourth Reich, you'd be the first to go"]]
**Appears in:** [[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]]
**Summary:** Bastian Schaus, otherwise known as Acolyte Salz, joined the Fourth Reich as a way of reasserting his masculinity. He pays very dearly for that. Has the anomalous ability to suck moisture from his surroundings, as well as shedding salt.
**How do he take his coffee:** Tea, with every meal.
**How does he swear?:** Tries not to. //Tries//.
**Favorite meal?:** Chickenwurst w/ sauerkraut and tea. He needs to expand his diet, honestly.
**Favorite animal?:** Roe deer.
**Music taste?:** Prog, and also Japanese noise rock.
**What does he look like?:** "Ridiculously tall, ridiculously muscled, ridiculously awkward. He certainly //tried// to look friendly, but the constant readjustment of his (already short) gold-blond hair belied an underlying anxiety of some sort. Like he was close to shattering."
**What TMA Fear does he best represent?:** The Lonely
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="The Unseelie Queen" hide="get money get money get money get money get money get money get money get money get money get money get money..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[the-last-things-dr-darryl-loyd-ever-did-in-chronological-ord|The Last Things]]], [[[SCP-2677]]] (ancillary), [[[jacklyn-diamandis-accountable-to-nobody|jacklyn diamandis, accountable to nobody]]] (ancillary)
**Summary:** The Unseelie Queen, or King Butterfly, or the Violet Queen/Archon, is a 'pataphysical parasite that dug its way into the setting and placed itself in a position of importance. It is associated with spiders, usurpation, and impersonation.
**How does it take its coffee:** Likes the stains they make.
**How does it swear?:** Does inarticulate screaming count?
**Favorite meal?:** Your identity.
**Favorite animal?:** Itself and things that look like it.
**Music taste?:** Its own screams.
**What does it look like?:** Huandou, traitorous minister to Yu the Great. Empress Unseelie, Conqueror-Queen of the Fae. The Violet Archon, that insectine beast. One hundred thousand fingers of an otherwise nameless Old God, poking through the firmament in juvenile exploration.
**What TMA Fear does it best represent?:** The Stranger
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="The White Wolf" hide="it's my PYRE/agoraphobe if i want to"]]
**Appears in:** [[[A Dove in a Chicken Pen]]] (ancillary), [[[wwydftltimd-hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in My Dreams]]] (ancillary)
**Summary:** The White Wolf, or the Green-Eyed Wolf of Raasepula, or the Verdant Mage/Archon, is //just// distinct enough from an astronomically large cloud of extramultiversal "fire" to be called a character.
**How does it take its coffee:** That coffee's been vaporized.
**How does it swear?:** It barely knows how to scream, let alone talk.
**Favorite meal?:** Whoops, it burnt it.
**Favorite animal?:** Whoops, it killed it.
**Music taste?:**  Whoops, it screamed over it.
**What does it look like?:** "For a single, terrible second, you can see the weave of screaming mouths and frantic eyes woven across the firmament -- and then your head is full of fire, and you're no more.
**What TMA Fear does it best represent?:** The Desolation
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Dr. Rivka Yarkoni and Researcher Yehezkel Yarkoni" hide="Save me from the Villains of Circumstance..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[SCP-4947]]], [[[SCP-3753]]], [[[If You Are Reading This]]], [[[SCP-978]]] extended test logs
**Summary:** Rivka is a nurse-turned-physician working for the Foundation; Yehezkel is a former professor of architecture employed several years later. Both emigrated from Iran after Yehezkel's conversion from Islam to Judaism. Following the suicide of her daughter, Rivka was assigned to SCP-4947 as head researcher. The stress of this position resulted in her developing early-onset dementia, and Yehezkel was assigned to the project in her stead.
**How do they take their coffee:** Rivka drinks chamomile, and developed a caffeine addictions in the days following her 4947 assignment. Yehezkel doesn't drink.
**How do they swear?:** Rivka does not say fuck!! Yehezkel very rarely does.
**Favorite meal?:** Kubbeh khamusta for Rivka, falafel and shakshuka for Yehezkel.
**Favorite animal?:** Dogs for Rivka, cats for Yehezkel. They settled on the former.
**Music taste?:** Folk music for Rivka, jazz for Yehezkel.
**What do they look like?:**
* "Rivka's appearance was unremarkable: 5'5", patterned tichel, olive skin, a face like every other person you'd see at a bodega in Staten Island. It was her smile that stuck out, warm and genuine. Well, that and the suspender suit with pinned flairs."
* "Yehezkel had the appearance of a man who knew he was fat and had tried to exercise himself to skinny, merely to become a healthier and more muscular fat man. He wouldn't have believed you if you told him he was actually quite handsome, that his crooked grin was endearing and his manner pleasant. If his brown skin wasn't so tan, you might have even seen him blush at the compliment."
**What TMA Fear do they best represent?:** The Corruption and the Lonely
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Sara Yarkoni" hide="Dancing on wires/Both ends are on Fire..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[WWYDFTLTIMD-Hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in my Dreams]]], [[[Last Minute Resistance]]], [[[Filled to the Brim with Girlish Glee]]], [[[SCP-5444]]], [[[CactusCast]]], [[[a-eulogy-in-eleven-eight-time|A Eulogy In 11/8 Time]]]
**Summary:** Sara is a freelance programmer, webcam model, and musician from Staten Island. Born to Rivka and Yehezkel, much of her life was defined by a need to earn their approval (they worked incredibly long hours); that fell apart after her arson-assisted expulsion from Yale and subsequent 6-month institutionalization.
**How do they take their coffee:** Shot of vanilla cream and espresso.
**How do they swear?:** Minor swears often, major swears sometimes.
**Favorite meal?:** Lentil stew in vegetable stock.
**Favorite animal?:** All of them, but dogs especially.
**Music taste?:** Post-punk, experimental, and anything that doesn't sound like it belongs on the radio.
**What does she look like?:** "Sara paid a lot of attention to her appearance. //A lot//. Make-up was perfect (especially considering the dearth of good MUA resources for people w/ dark skin), fashion was perfect (even if she largely had to buy second-hand), her walk, talk, and brand were all perfect, but if you ever saw her next to her considerably more 'plain' twin sister, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
**What TMA Fear do they best represent?:** The Desolation
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Judas al-Zaman" hide="thousands of tiny legs build a monstrosity, it Eats you alive..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]]
**Summary:** Judas al-Zaman, formerly Ya'qoob el-Asmar, is an Arab-Pakistani immigrant who runs mail for Outer Lichtenberg. Though well-read and quite pleasant, the nature of his peculiar upbringing has left him somewhat emotionally stunted, and as a result he can be a bit self-defeating. Learned magic from a jinn after getting beaten up by a gang of Baloch nationalists.
**How does he take his coffee:** Slovak, and extra bitter at that.
**How does he swear?:** Somethimes?
**Favorite meal?:** Turkey-bacon BLT
**Favorite animal?:** Monitor lizards. Some days he'd just watch them go about their business.
**Music taste?:** Noise and math
**What does he look like?:** "Judas was stylish, and quite attractive. The curly mop of black hair was styled into a fashionable kind of messy, something that allowed him to run his hands through and make it look deliberate. His dark skin was unblemished, in a manner that suggested he took //great// pains to guard from the sun. Hell, he even pulled off a mustache! This was not the look of a man who deflated as easily as Judas al-Zaman did."
**What TMA Fear does he best represent?:** The Buried
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Luna Zapata" hide="If a man has Money today/People don't care if he has kokobe..."]]
**Appears in:** [[[Ambrose Backdoor Soho]]], [[[are-we-gentrified-yet|Are We Gentrified Yet?]]]
**Summary:** Luna Mercedes Delanna Zapata (née Thompson) is a violinist "signed onto" the King of Hearts Collective, and an on-and-off in the Gamers Against Weed irc chats. Volunteered to be Mrs. Gentrification, utilizing musical necromancy to bring back the souls of dead tenants.
**How do they take their coffee:** Hand-ground and black, unless the place she bought the beans specifies otherwise.
**How do they swear?:** Not at all, really.
**Favorite meal?:** Huevos con migas.
**Favorite animal?:** Whooping cranes.
**Music taste?:** Dad rock and neoclassical.
**What does she look like?:** I'm not even gonna pretend she's not a Leyla McCalla faceclaim.
**What TMA Fear do they best represent?:** The End
[[/collapsible]]
[[/tab]]
[[tab Research Work]]
[[[SCP-1285]]]
> //"Audiences are gonna hate this, you know."//
> //"If I cared for the opinion of every slavering wastrel, I'd be a critic, not a cinematographer."//
* So this was my first skip. It's alright I guess.
* Fun little story about this baby: back when I was a babby SCP writer, this was originally just a straight up statue, no context. Some helpful soul told me that the concept sounded "B-Movie"ish and the very next day, I got up, thought "fuck you, it IS a B-Movie!", and the rest was history.
* I've been trying to move away from notes at the end. However, this was made before NatE was a cliche, so neener.
[[[SCP-2677]]]
> //Today's the day. Make master proud, won't you?//
* As the years go by, I like this skip less and less. I'm not certain if it's because my writing style has improved over the years or if it's because of the four and a half year gap between this and my next ones, but I do find it slightly ironic that my most acclaimed skip is my least favorite.
* Originally, Anderson Harper was meant to be a super bad guy, but atrophy for lethargy, I suppose. Also, I literally can't remember what this thing's function was anymore, both intention and practical, so go hog wild I guess.
[[[SCP-3428]]]
> //Maybe it's the weather. Maybe you're just thirsty. Chill out with a Pepsi.//
* This was originally supposed to be about wasps. I have no fucking clue what inspired me to write this, cause it's been 4 years since I uploaded the first draft to my sandbox. 
[[[SCP-952]]]
> //"Hey, V."//
> //"What could it possibly be this time, Jack?"//
> //"I have this weird idea."//
* One day, while listening to TTNG's //Animals//, I realized that a common thread linked nearly every song of my favorite genre together: the inability for nerds to keep a damn relationship together. It's almost mystifying, turn on the average math rock playlist and it's either instrumentals or breakup songs.
[[[SCP-3472]]]
> //In my dreams, we're all smiling.//
* I feel like, whenever I'm writing parents, the most common archetype that comes up is the nervous wreck who loves their child, but isn't all that //there// for them, emotionally. I have to wonder why I write like this.
* Most of the skip was written in 2013-2014. The letter is the only real part made near when I posted this.
* I'll ##blue|rewrite## this one day.
[[[surprise-happy-birthday-7|Corner of the Game Room]]]
* This one's about as true as The Things they Carried is. The feelings are real, however.
[[[SCP-4747]]]
> //Step 6: Mix the jelly into the shavings, all the while declaring your love for one another.//
* I refuse to comment on this any more than "I wrote this in an hour and a half concept to posting."
[[[SCP-4946]]]
> //"Do 222232244629420445529739893461909967206666939096499764990979600 people even exist?"//
> //"Yes, the fuck are you on about? Keep scrolling."//
* So it turns out there //wasn't// a skip called "you have died of dysentery", and now there is.
* This was originally 4947. That disappeared into a hole.
[[[SCP-4947]]]
> //Direct order from O5-11, images to attach to the file, new exploration authorization. Christ, you'd think we'd back these things up.//
* This is my first horror SCP, I think. 1285 veered too far into black comedy, 2677 was more of a character piece, and the closest 952 got to horror was showing how far a human would go to hurt another human. This one, though, gets back to my roots.
* Fun fact: Yehezkel and Rivka are the parents of Sara. I kinda feel bad for how horrible I've been to this family tree.
* --This is my best work, I think.--
[[[SCP-3721]]]
> //You think translating is hard? Try reading what they say.//
* Eskobar briefly talked about [[[SCP-2845]]] on Kaktuskast, using it as an example of when an author "stops fucking around". I think 3721 is that moment for me.
* The original iteration of this draft was far less focused on the aspect of decay; it was Hippo's suggestion that they forget their own names that cemented the direction I wanted to take.
* There have been three times where, in the process of writing, I became so disgusted by something I've written that I had to dial it back. The third transcript was one of them.
[[[SCP-4690]]]
* My process for conceptualization went as follows:
 * Huh, Japanese architecture is really cool.
 * But orientalism sucks!
 * What if there was a metaphysical cancer made of a mishmash of random architecture taken from a smattering of East-Asian countries, with no attention to detail? Just the pure horrors of orientalism.
 * It's actually a web created by hyperdimensional spiders.
 * But why are the spiders in our world?
 * They're here to eat orientalists.
 * Pinkerton is a very good album about an orientalist.
 * Madame Butterfly is my new special interest, oops
 * What if anti-orientalist hyperdimensional spiders ate Lieutenant Pinkerton?
* This article is an abject failure, because nothing will ever be funnier than the actual existence of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_m%C3%A9nage_moderne_de_Madame_Butterfly a 1920 Madame Butterfly porn parody where the director plays a peeping tom who's made the main character's bitch]. Jewish bisexuals stay winning.
* I refuse to explain why or how Weezer is Fifthist, and will never expand upon it.
--The OCT Trilogy (Survival Guide, Last Things, Baptism)-- [[[wwydftltimd-hub|When Will You Die for the Last Time in My Dreams]]]
> //Hell is whatever you think it will be, and you deserve it as much as you believe you do.//
* If Technician Empira is my author self-insert, Veronica is her shadow: the sum of my insecurities, boiled down into one miserable character. I suppose that makes her my self-insert as well, even if Veronica and I diverged somewhere down the line. As a result, writing her is an intensely personal experience for me.
* By the time I started the second chapter, I had gotten back on my ADHD meds and started religiously listening to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. You can probably tell how that affected the work.
* I feel like a big theme of the HoS saga is how we deal with trauma and the mistakes of the past. --I'll probably continue Veronica's story, one day, along with those of her bandmates.-- Nix the probably, I deliver.
* There have been three times where, in the process of writing, I became so disgusted by something I've written that I had to dial it back. The Bandages scene from Survival Guide was one of them.
[[[SCP-4495]]]
* Anyone who tells you this is a horror piece is a lying liar who lies. It's actually a comedy.
[[[SCP-0166|SCP-166]]]
* I don't remember who suggested I put a 0 in the url, but I think it was either Kirby or Dolphin.
* The most common criticism I've seen of this piece is that it changes a docile, not-//too//-deadly skip into an edgy keterblack. To that I say: "Yes, I did. Why is that supposed to be the problem?"
* The //second// most common criticism I've seen is that I rewrote Clef out of the story. To that I ask: "How do you think Nobody obtained Clef's credentials?"
* The bitterest irony of this story is that it can never //actually// replace its mainlisted counterpart, because it relies too much on its existence to stand on very many legs. Far from replacing 166, I have added onto its justifications.
[[[are-we-gentrified-yet|Are We Gentrified Yet?]]]
* Nico tells me he wrote the project proposal as a joke, with little intention to actually submit it to the wiki. To this day, I wonder whose neck this albatross hangs heavier on.
* I hadn't read [[[SCP-4485]]] until a little after AWGY's publication. As far as I was aware, Hansarp was nothing more than a Mekhanite weirdo.
[[[SCP-4886]]]
> //The lead biologist isn't supposed to make mistakes, but deep down, I always hoped I was wrong. Just not// this //wrong.//
* This skip is intended to be read more than once. In fact, if you haven't read it at least twice, don't read the commentary further.
* One thing that fascinated me about [[[SCP-2254]]] was the implication that La Hire, the rapist by proxy responsible for a generation of animal serial killers, was //terrified// of his brothers. After I poached Spades from Bright (and subsequently overhauled him into a neurotic, guilt-ridden child of the Scarlet King), I knew I'd be touching up on his brothers.
* This piece is the capstone of everything I learned from writing for the site. Incorporated is 3721's prose timing, WWYFTLTIMD's dialogue crash course, Nadox and the Mekhanite's character work, 4947's atmospheric tone, 4495's clinical disgust, and SCP-0166's weaponization of the SCP format. It is, almost certainly, my best SCP work.
* If you didn't pick up on it: 4886 wasn't lying about [[[SCP-4947|his father]]], and URA-4886 appears in an [[[SCP-952|earlier skip]]]
[[[The Trashfire]]]
> __WELCOME TO HELL__
* This canon exists for the sake of reader convenience, linking my and others' works together into a (hopefully) easier to understand bundle.
* If you can't tell, I dislike a vast majority of what many readers consider "canon", but most of all, I dislike the mangled Jewish mythology SCPs like Gate Guardian. Creating a space away from such things is pleasing to me.
[[[SCP-5012]]]
> //Oh great computer, how old, truly, is the universe?//
> 
> //{{you dont want to know the answer to that question}}//
* Every musician corresponds to either a canon, 'verse, or canon grouping. I've tagged the ones Dr. Goss reports.
[[[SCP-5445]]]
* This was based on a dream I had, on the //exact same night// I had pondered how cool [[[SCP-5040]]] was for being based on a dream. Because staff lacked the evidence to perma my subconscious from the Wiki, I coldposted it the next morning. I regret never finding a way to include the "you have to lick the knife" part of the dream.
[[[SCP-5444]]]
> //When I die, I want my autobiography encrypted.//
* I was inspired by an episode of Forensic Files, where a man pretended to be the man he murdered, sending mail and paying bills as appropriate, but 5444 was already conceptualized by the time I saw that episode so the Parawatch I had in mind was scrapped.
* Sara's experiences are at least partially autobiographical; not to the point of 1:1 connections, but enough to understand how these things may have gone down.
* You //know// a skip is good when three separate people ask if you're alright after reading it.
[[[Filled to the Brim with Girlish Glee]]]
> //##deeppink|KeeLee:## But I care about you, even when you won't care about me.//
* This is a rewrite of a piece by DrChandra and DianaBerry. The original featured Lolly from Dread & Circuses trying to reason with the girls of JGT re: their transphobia, and arguably cemented JGT as the "TERF GoI". In my opinion, its biggest problem was too much tell re: why transphobia is bad; my job was to chop it all up and //show// the sheer horrors of "traditional femininity". I, uh, succeeded, according to the comments.
* This piece did not originally come with an on-page warning, which I dislike including wholesale onto a page unless absolutely necessary. As it turns out, my decision to have such warnings languish in this tabview resulted in triggering someone's PTSD; not including the warning after such would be tantamount to dangerous negligence.
* I set out to make this piece horrifying from the perspective of software developers and trans people; I didn't expect the horror to produce such visceral reactions, and to this day I'm a little frightened of the implications that I could just //write// such a thing.
* PINK FLY has cameo'd in [[[degenerate-art|another tale]]].
[[[SCP-5994]]]
* There are some things you will never understand.
[[[bawarao-hub|Black and White and Red All Over]]]
> //Apparently you fuckers didn't learn the first time. How about a round 2?//
* IntCon2019 was a very... peculiar contest, but I knew the minute I stepped into the ring what I wanted to write. As 3721 shows, I'm not too much of a fan on most people's takes on paranormal neo-nazis; if I didn't take 4R and write it myself, I knew I'd inevitably hate whatever was written about them.
* -DE hates this series, but acknowledges that it's well-written. Sometimes, the highest praise comes from those who hold you in the lowest regard.
* I think the ultimate moral of this series is that fascism is an inconsistent garbage ideology for insecure losers, and ultimately it doesn't even make you happy.
[[[SCP-5947]]]
> //The grind, the grind, the __grind__ of it all! A god's work is never done, Dr. Regan, so either pick up your wrench or offer yourself upon the altar to our glory!//
* SILVERFISH was part of Corpsecon, a contest where someone submitted containment procedures and someone else would write for them. Mine were written by [[*user MaliceAforethought]]
* This piece is based on a specific period of time during my tenure as SCP staff, wherein I was obsessed with "protecting" the wiki at any cost. Add Smith to the self-insert pile, I guess.
* This marks the first article proper on the wiki to mention SoI-004; funnily enough, it isn't even part of the canon I introduced them in.
**Christ in Scarlet**
> //"You're sick. I'll never let you get away with this."//
> 
> //"Were you always this cliché, Princess?"//
* Christ in Scarlet arguably kicks off "Act Three" of the Trashfire, introducing and developing a lot of the themes planned for later installments. It's also just fun to write.
* Almost on accident, I've found myself debating whether each piece in the series will be the one that goes "too far". Hell, the series is about a rapacious demon overtaking one of the largest religions in the world; already I'm alienating a good chunk of my audience. From the reception I've gotten, however, doesn't look like I need to worry too much.
[[[How To Clean A Polyester Dress]]]
> //Madeleine von Schaeffer looked at Theresa like a shark looked at seals, curled and uncurled her fingers whenever she was near, grinned in anticipation of a coming pounce. On the other hand, she actually// looked //at Theresa.//
* This series was originally going to be a single tale, then four tales, and finally came out to five.
* Originally, there was going to be a subplot where Theresa pretended to love Hellen back in order to manipulate her, but it didn't fit into the plot.
* I'm honestly scared of this series. There where points while I was writing it when it felt like something else was directing the story, and times when I wasn't writing it when all I could think about was finishing it. The only other time something like this happened was when I snuck into my university's computer lab at 1 AM to work on a project.
[[/tab]]
[[tab UElore]]
* **Chaz Ambrose is Mr. Redd's son:** He started Ambrose to piss off his dad, but it backfired because his restaurants cause strife and argument in the human world.
* **Beryllium-bronze conducts consciousness:** The primary purpose of BB materials is to channel, project, or interfere with electric and psychic signals associated with consciousness.
* **Robert Bumaro and the Prophet who faced Ion's army are different people:** Robert Bumaro may claim to be the Prophet of Mekhane (and might be? who knows), but he wasn't Enoch the Builder, who was killed in the final siege that broke the Adytite Empire.
* **The Foundation is privately or covertly funded:** Governments fund a single normalcy organization, either the Global Occult Coalition or a nationalized one, and don't really rely on others.
* **Mekhane is an artificial god:** There existed no actual Mekhane until the Mekhanite Empire, when it was constructed from bronze, iron, and the collective consciousness of its classical cultists. It was killed by Orok in the deciding battle of the First Occult War, but put up a good enough fight before the end.
* **There are multiple 001s:** These include Tufto's Proposal as well as whatever's hiding under Site-56. Gate Guardian and The Placeholder are not only //not// a true 001, they're not even present as //fake// 001s (this is true across all metaverses and their associated multiverses and //their// associated universes).
[[/tab]]
[[tab What I've Learned From Writing]]
[[[SCP-1285]]]
* Do not be afraid to go weird.
* Behind every criticism is a suggestion for what to do better.
[[[SCP-2677]]]
* Extraneous logs will cripple a piece. Only say what you need to.
[[[SCP-3428]]]
* Comedy must be built up from.
[[[SCP-952]]]
* Everyone loves a good character.
* The worst human villains are still human at the end of the day. If you can understand why someone did something, part of you will unconsciously empathize.
[[[SCP-4947]]]
* Gimmicks can only go so far, even if they're necessary to explore the themes of a piece. Try not to rely on a given gimmick too hard.
[[[SCP-3721]]]
* Prose can be timed for maximum effect, most especially when writing horror (and, by extension, comedy).
[[[SCP-4690]]]
* All comedy pieces have a punchline, but //great// comedy pieces realize that build-up isn't linear. Peppering your piece with brief jokes can strengthen the piece immensely.
[[/tab]]
[[tab Content Warnings]]
* SCP-1285: Mention of alcoholism
* SCP-2677: Attempted suicide
* SCP-952: Suicide, buried gays
* SCP-3472: Parental abandonment, parental death
* D-7294's Declassified D-Class Survival Guide: Abuse, suicide ideation, t slur, someone gets their eye stabbed
* The Last Things Dr. Darryl Loyd Ever Did, in Chronological Order: Suicide, mild gore
* Baptism of the Wandering Jew by Johnny the Son: gore, abuse, themes of sexual insecurity
* 4947: unreality
* SCP-3721: Nazism, abuse, k-slur
* Degenerate Art: natzis, f slur
* SCP-4690: spiders, spiders eating your face, anti-asian racism
* Dead Pig: NSFW
* Last Minute Resistance: Abuse, mind control, implications of rape, more natzis
* SCP-378: buges
* Beef Albini: someone straight up gets a tentacle up the ass (consensually), NSFW
* Nadox + Mekhanite: gore
* 4495: unsanitary
* 166: structural abuse and neglect, pretty much all of the original's triggers, f slur
* 4886: gore, worms, bestiality, bad bad things
* 5012: gore, unreality
* Ambrose SoHo: allegory for AIDS-assisted gentrification
* 5445: gore, unsanitary
* 5444: suicide, NSFW
* diamandis: horrible coping mechanisms, allusions to hatesex
* FttBwGG: nazis, trans+ homophobia, t slur, gaslighting+abuse
* eucestodiel: animal gore, buge
* 5994: unreality
* 5947: torture
* S, Y, D: NSFW, alcoholism
* ACOL: nazis, torture, gore, transphobia
* 5952: ritual child abuse, religious trauma, racism
* Dove in Chicken Pen: nonconsensual kissing, antisemitism
* 98999: dubiously healthy sex
* 3178: child death, suicide, antisemitism/racism, gore
* Borrow the Map: NSFW, dissociation during sex
* Polyester Dress: abuse, conversion therapy, transphobia, antisemitism, gore, theresa is her own content warning
* IR 2001-489: child abuse
* Christ In Scarlet: Slurs, antisemitism/racism, misogyny, implied mass shooting
[[/tab]]
[[tab Author Living Will]]

++ All __original__ characters, concepts, and settings of mine that appear in non-SCP works are All Rights Reserved, with the exception of their appearances, lore, and characterization in the context of on-Wiki works. Furthermore, they are to be released into Public Domain upon my death.
* Merchandising: Pretty much everything I've written can be merchandised for sale, as long as I'm given attribution.
* Reclaiming Authorship: [[*user NatVoltaic]], [[*user ProcyonLotor]], and [[*user Uncle Nicolini]] have my phone number.
* Post"mortem" ownership: In the event that I leave the site, remain inactive for five years, or die, all of my non-collab articles shall be transferred to [[*user The Great Hippo]]'s ownership. Collaborations are to be transferred in full to their respective coauthors.
 * **IMPORTANT:** If the age limit is ever decreased to below 18, the ability to rewrite, significantly edit, or willfully delete any of my articles will be revoked to the best of my ability.
* --**IMPORTANT:** In the event that staff allow a malicious downvote brigade to remove an article from the site, all my work is to be sent to me as raw text, then deleted from the site. I will //not// see my fellow authors crushed by offsite wastrels and trolls.-- With the creation of [[[The Trashfire]]], this is no longer a request I feel comfortable making.
[[/tab]]
[[tab TAKE THE URANIUMEMPIRE CHALLENGE]]
List of site "achievements" I've fulfilled.
* [[[SCP Achievement Badges]]]
 * Certificate Of Attendance
 * Participation Trophy
 * Straight Out Of Central Casting (Veronica Fitzroy)
 * Canonball
 * Look Ma! I'm On TV!
 * Level Up!
 * Skip Tutoring
 * Thousandaire
 * Extra! Extra!
* [[[achievement-badges|Achievement Badges For Fun]]]
 * Atlas's hand
 * I'm coming!
 * Rising from the ashes
 * Claws Behind
 * Transnational distribution
 * …But yours is sexually aggressive in a way that I will not likely to recover from
 * Even the smallest person can change the course of the future
List of site "achievements" I made up, all of which I have done.
* **The Albatross:** Write a low-brow comedy piece that gets more attention than your Magnum Opus piece.
* **Burnout Purgatory:** Post an SCP, tale, and GoI-Format within one week, all of which are posted before and in the month of Jamcon. If Jamcon starts within the first week of the month, do it in the last week of the previous month.
* **Den of Hippos:** Write a comedy piece that's mistaken for horror by readers.
* **Hypno's Plagiarist:** Write an article inspired by a dream within 24 hours of having said dream.
* **I just think they're neat:** Write a tale shipping your original character with a non-original character who predates your OC's introduction by at least five years.
* **My G-d, These Bitches Gay!:** Write an article that inspires either shippy fanart or slashfic between two characters of the same gender.
* **One-Two Sucker Punch:** Write an article inspired by the work of an author who proceeds to downvote your article, then write an article that earns the upvote of someone you specifically expected would hate said article.
* **Takeshi's Challenge:** Spend at least three years working on an article that, despite your best efforts, fails once posted.

------

++++ BREAKING: HACK and FRAUD UraniumEmpire STEALS ACHIEVEMENT LIST from Elunerazim who stole it from Deadly Bread who took it at baguette-point from MightyMcB who won it in a battle of the bands from Crashington who climbed three thousand meters up the forbidden mountain to learn the secrets of the achievement list from Nagiros who forged it in the Crab Dens of Ashmedai's domain.
----
||~ Achievables ||~ Unlocked? ||
||~ SCPs ||~ SCPs ||
|| Write an SCP || ✔️ ||
|| Write 5 SCPs || ✔️ ||
|| Write 10 SCPs || ✔️ ||
|| Write 25 SCPs || ✔️ ||
|| Write 50 SCPs ||  ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "safe" || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "euclid" || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "keter" || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "thaumiel" || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "neutralized" ||  ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "explained" ||  ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "joke" || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP tagged as "esoteric-class" || ✔️ ||
|| Collaborate on an SCP || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP-001 Proposal ||  ||
|| Write an SCP in Series I || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP in Series II || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP in Series III || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP in Series IV || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP in Series V || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP in Series VI || ✔️ ||
|| Write an SCP in Series VII || ✔️ ||
|| Write a format screw SCP || ✔️ ||
|| Rewrite someone else's SCP || ✔️ ||
||~ Tales ||~ Tales ||
|| Write a tale || ✔️ ||
|| Write 5 tales || ✔️ ||
|| Write 10 tales || ✔️ ||
|| Write 15 tales || ✔️ ||
|| Write a tale that gets to +50 || ✔️ ||
|| Write a tale that gets to +100 || ✔️ ||
|| Start a tale series || ✔️ ||
|| Finish a tale series || ✔️ ||
|| Collaborate on a tale || ✔️ ||
|| Write a Parawatch Tale || ✔️ ||
||~ GoI Formats ||~ GoI Formats ||
|| Write a GoI Format || ✔️ ||
|| Write 5 GoI Formats ||  ||
|| Write 10 GoI Formats ||  ||
|| Write 15 GoI Formats ||  ||
|| Write a GoI format that gets to +50 || ✔️ ||
|| Write a GoI format that gets to +100 || ✔️ ||
|| Collaborate on a GoI Format ||  ||
|| Write an Ambrose Restaurants Format || ✔️ ||
|| Write an Anderson Robotics Format ||  ||
|| Write an Arcadia Format ||  ||
|| Write an AWCY? Format ||  ||
|| Write a Black Queen Format ||  ||
|| Write a Chaos Insurgency Format ||  ||
|| Write a Chicago Spirit Format ||  ||
|| Write a CotBG Format ||  ||
|| Write a dado format ||  ||
|| Write a DEER College Format ||  ||
|| Write a Dr. Wondertainment Format ||  ||
|| Write a Facility Dossier ||  ||
|| Write a Factory Format ||  ||
|| Write a GOC Format ||  ||
|| Write a GRU Division "P" Format ||  ||
|| Write a Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting Format || ✔️ ||
|| Write a Horizon Initiative Format ||  ||
|| Write an ICSUT Format ||  ||
|| Write an IJAMEA Format ||  ||
|| Write a Manna Charitable Foundation Format ||  ||
|| Write an MC&D Format ||  ||
|| Write a Medicean Academy of the Occult Arts Format ||  ||
|| Write a "Nobody" Format || ✔️ ||
|| Write an ORIA Format ||  ||
|| Write an Oneiroi Collective Format ||  ||
|| Write a Prometheus Labs, Inc. Format ||  ||
|| Write a SAPHIR Format || ||
|| Write a Sarkic Cults ||  ||
|| Write a Serpent's Hand Format ||  ||
|| Write a Shark Punching Center Format ||  ||
|| Write a UIU Format || ✔️ ||
|| Write a Westhead Media article ||  ||
|| Write a Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Format ||  ||
||~ General ||~ General ||
|| Get +200 net upvotes || ✔️ ||
|| Get +500 net upvotes || ✔️ ||
|| Get +1000 net upvotes || ✔️ ||
|| Get +2000 net upvotes || ✔️ ||
|| Get +3000 net upvotes || ✔️ ||
|| Get +4000 net upvotes || ✔️ ||
|| Get +5000 net upvotes ||  ||
|| Enter a Contest || ✔️ ||
|| Win a Contest || ✔️ ||
|| Enter an X000 Contest || ✔️ ||
|| Write for a canon || ✔️ ||
|| Write 5 articles for canons || ✔️ ||
|| Write 10 articles for canons || ✔️ ||
|| Write for 5 different canons || ✔️ ||
|| Create a canon || ✔️ ||
|| Coldpost a successful article || ✔️ ||
|| Write about 'Pataphysics || ✔️ ||
|| Write an urban legend || ✔️ ||
|| Write a temporal anomaly ||  ||
|| Write a ghost story || ✔️ ||
|| Get a character tag || ✔️ ||
|| Write an author avatar || ✔️ ||
|| Have someone use my character in another article || ✔️ ||
|| Write a tribute to the Old Guard of ARGs ||  ||
|| Write a sad article || ✔️ ||
|| Write a wholesome article || ✔️ ||
|| Write a funny article || ✔️ ||
|| Write something dialogue heavy || ✔️ ||
|| Write something confusing as hell || ✔️ ||
|| Write something disturbing as hell || ✔️✔️✔️ ||
|| Write about a reoccurring phenomena || ✔️ ||
|| Write about a one-time event || ✔️ ||
|| Write about the Foundation being cruel || ✔️ ||
|| Write about the Foundation being saviors ||  ||
|| Write about the Foundation's hands being tied || ✔️ ||
|| Write a humanoid || ✔️ ||
|| Write a body horror article || ✔️ ||
|| Write a really long article (3000+ words) || ✔️ ||
|| Write a really short article (<1000 words) || ✔️ ||
|| Write a //really// short article (<500 words) || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article about insects || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article about leeches || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article about bread ||  ||
|| Write an article about the ocean ||  ||
|| Write an article with a moral dilemma || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article without a story || ✔️ ||
|| Write something using ListPages witchcraft || ✔️ ||
|| Write, crit, then post an article within 24 hours || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets a good feature on SCP Café || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets a YouTube video made about it || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets a //good// YouTube video made about it || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets covered by TheVolgun ||  ||
|| Write an article that gets covered by TheeSherm || ✔️ ||
|| Have fanart made of one of my articles || ✔️ ||
|| Commission art for one of my articles || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to +50 || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to +100 || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to +200 || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to +300 || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to +400 ||  ||
|| Write an article that gets to +500 ||  ||
|| Write an article that gets to +1000 ||  ||
|| Write an article that gets to +100 in a week || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to +200 in a month ||  ||
|| Write an article that gets to be the Top Rated of the Last 30 Days || ✔️ ||
|| Write an article that gets to be the Top Rated of the Month || ✔️ ||
|| Get an article featured on the front page || ✔️ ||
|| Write a Tag Golf article || ✔️ ||
|| Complete 24Hour Challenge || ✔️ ||
|| Create a new GoI ||  ||
[[/tab]]
[[tab Fan Creation Wishlist]]
This is where I put potential fan creations I'm dying to one day receive.

* [[[https://longreads.com/category/bundyville-the-remnant/|Bundyville: The Remnant]]]-style portraits of my villains
* Fake book covers of my series
* Fanart of the sloppy steaks scene from I Think You Should Leave except it's House of Spades (Sara gets a portobello steak or something idk what vegetarians eat)
* Fumos of any of my characters.
* Analog Horror based on Christ In Scarlet
* A Polyester Dress animation/animatic set to Spider On The Wall
[[/tab]]
[[tab vandalize this tab i guess]]
you're cool^^∞^^

consider darkstuff a vandal, bwahahaha

I really hate that this took so long to find in the edit page.

Hi UraniumEmpire! Just wanted to say that I love your work :3

don't mind me, i'm just game ing

this UE person sure makes a lot of good writing

hey, uranium, it's piggy. you're a cool person and you deserve to be mod, hope that everything is okay for you. <3

UwU hello Uraniu-San!

I have found the author page of a mega cool author! O:

Weeb-chan has arrived. She is weeb. Surrender (I think your cool btw :3)

I’ve vandalized the tab am I cool yet?

Imagine having a vandalize tab. Shaking my SMH head shaking.

hey i'm here huh what amogus???

Hola, mi llamo Cole 13 de vandal!

valentine was here

We do a little vandalizing 

dont upvote this page be its at 69 upvotes. NICE. -some doctor

uranium empire :)

Too long since this was vandalized. I feex.

I wanna flex :)

We out here!!!!

Imperial Uranium 

You are insanely talented and I hope you've been doing well. (grins in a fucked up manner) You should write about cartoons I think. - Ratking
[[/tab]]
[[/tabview]]
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life is worth living 
]]

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