whenwerewe's Pseudonormal Authorpage

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[[=]]
[[module Rate]]
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For many weeks, you have been asking: Who is whenwerewe? This is whenwerewe writing. I am the man who loves his posts. I am the man who does not sacrifice his taste or his inexplicable obsession with shortform. I am the man who has deprived you of lengthy articles and thus has flooded your new posts section, and if you wish to know why you are drowning—you who dread my constant stream of articles—I am the man who will now tell you.

You have heard it said that this is an age of bad posts. You have said it yourself, half in fear, half in hope that I might stop with my awful gimmick. You have cried that unfunny metacommentary is destroying the quality of this page and you have cursed my name for squandering good concepts with my laziness. Since virtue, to you, consists of quality writing, you have demanded I stop being so bad at it.

yada yada yada yada lorem ipsum dolor sit amet you get the idea. The gag is now old. You're all obviously right, I apologise, and I will now recommend some good (web?)fiction. Hopefully the text is transparent enough most people don't see this. Read //[*https://archiveofourown.org/works/73361096/chapters/191230111 1/X]// by Bavitz, //[*https://archiveofourown.org/works/8341348/chapters/19108573 Almost Nowhere]// by nostalgebraist, Knausgaard's //My Struggle// (yes, ha ha, what a funny name, but it's good!) and //[*https://xrafstar.monster/stories/serious_weakness/ Serious Weakness]// by PORPENTINE CHARITY HEARTSCAPE (but read the warnings. Seriously.)
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[[toc]]

+ Intro

Now that that's out of the way, first things first:

[[size x-large]]**[*https://archiveofourown.org/works/73361096/chapters/191230111 READ 1/X]**[[/size]]
(this used to just be a segment in the above gag but it deserves a straightfaced recommendation I think)

If you just want a list of what I've written, it's in this collapsible.

[[include :scp-wiki:component:coltop show=posts? |hide=posts!]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:mega-cool-author-page-tool |inc-list= --]
|order=10
|perpage=
|background-image=
|shadow=
]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:colend]]

The rest of this will be reserved for bits of commentary.

+ Various SCPs

[[tabview]]
[[tab Longish]]

These are ~5k words, and feature characters talking to each other and having arcs and so on. "Standard" SCPs, if such a thing can be said to exist. Not the thing closest to my heart, but I'm happy with all of them.
@@ @@

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9426 SCP-9426]: Dittophobia: Dittophobia: Dittophobia
[[/=]]
Combining all my tendencies for an entry into the 2024 anthology: clones, metaphysics, historical writing. This came together nicely, and is probably my best longform yet. I am both delighted and embarrassed by the title gag, but Locke liked it, so I kept it in.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9981 SCP-9981]: FEED THE HAND THAT BITES YOU
[[/=]]
Dumbcon entry due to [[*user mothmanUXO]], horror and grief and ignorance. I tried very hard not to make a [*https://archiveofourown.org/works/73361096/chapters/191230111 1/X] reference in this piece, despite the obvious relevance, because it would have just made me look worse by comparison. Also, probably, the article by which you navigated here!

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9340 SCP-9340]: Life During Wartime
[[/=]]
This one has a cursed production story: I was called to sub in to help out the previous substitute 3 days before posting. It worked out, though, and while it isn't my personal favourite it has its merits 

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9271 SCP-9271]: The Same Place in a Worse World
[[/=]]
Artex gift for [[*user SynthPanda_]], bleaker than I tend to go. Happy with the character work here, I think. Dialogue is naturalistic which makes it read a bit off at times. Aside: I submitted something like four articles with this title to this slot, all bad, before I landed on this one. At some point I started sticking to the title as a gag.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9474 SCP-9474]: Some of Their Parts
[[/=]]
This was my first article, and is a good fun romp through mindspace.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9948 SCP-9948]: Constructive Containment
[[/=]]
This is plausibly the technically best thing I've put out on here so far, containing actual extended dialogue, a longform narrative, etcetera. Unfortunately my soul is not in it, and it shows. But hey, nobody has yet downvoted it!

[[/tab]]
[[tab Shortform]]

These are: short! They may be funny, tragic, horror, action, whatever (I have never written an action SCP). Their connecting thread is they're all teenytiny (<1k, with error bars).
@@ @@

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9604 SCP-9604]: Nullstellensatz
[[/=]]
After the success of several character-focused articles I needed to go back to my short punchy roots, so I committed to writing an SCP named this. The Nullstellensatz gives a duality between ideals and subvarieties, and over dinner I thought that my own life implied my house, and vice-versa. What if that relationship were set askew?

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9236 SCP-9236]: Exegeses on Shambala
[[/=]]
Short and sweet, another attempt to expand my style. Eerie and atmospheric with hopefully just enough implication to drive a canny reader up the wall. I don't know how obvious this is, so I suppose I could say: there is meant to be a running Pied Piper motif here.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9749 SCP-9749]: Heavy Nudger of Men
[[/=]]
This is much more amusing to me than to most, apparently. The line about prophecy rattled around in my head for a week before I came up with this concept.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9339 SCP-9339]: Shrewtamer
[[/=]]
I realised I didn't do enough body horror, so I came up with this. 

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9878 SCP-9878]: Here is the Giver of Gold
[[/=]]
Historical (you will see a few of these) meditation on things lost and won. Pretty happy with what it does in its length; but can't match the viscerality of the above.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9761 SCP-9761]: philosophical phoenix
[[/=]]
This is the reason I got hooked on shortform in the first place. Its critics are correct: it is both obvious and heavyhanded. But I like trying to get the clinical horror down!

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9138 SCP-9138]: The Manner of Fishes
[[/=]]
A rework of my very first coldpost. Frankly, I maintain the original was more interesting, but It Was Not To Be. I'm also unreasonably proud of the title here.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9869 SCP-9869]: Every Kind of Thing
[[/=]]
I made no effort to disseminate this one so it kind of just sits there. It's fairly uninspired but I'm a sucker for insane-scale xenofiction.

[[/tab]]
[[tab Puzzles]]

These are puzzles, which means there's a thing unsaid in the narrative which is central to understanding what's happening. Plenty of my other works have un- or understated details, but those are rewards for careful readers, whereas these literally do not make sense unless you engage with the posed questions.
@@ @@

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9801 SCP-9801]: The shadow of the Rose
[[/=]]
I put this together by shamelessly ripping off a better author. [[collapsible show="The solution is..." hide="...in this collapsible:"]]
It's the Zahir! The authorpost already hints at this, but what the hell, let's be clear.
[[/collapsible]] 

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9405 SCP-9405]: —,—,—
[[/=]]
The Foundation uncovers the ruins of something lost. There's a level 1 and 2 here, where the 1 is fairly clear and the 2 is frankly unfair.

[[=]]
[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9449 SCP-9449]: Themselves Defy
[[/=]]
None of my articles are truly "personal" but this is the closest I've ever come.

[[/tab]]
[[/tabview]]

+ Assorted Tales

These can be divided into two classes: banged out in a few hours, and wrenched into shape with careful consultation. Let's call the former class "reckless" and the latter "measured".

[[tabview]]
[[tab Reckless Tales]]

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/protoevangelion IRON EXORCIST, GOOD INTENTIONS] was written with the intent of being a mindless action sequence, because I needed to learn, but I went off on a tangent and threw in some bizarre mechsploitation flavour. Then it became my most successful work for some reason. Hooray!

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/humeanitarianism NON-CONTINGENT VIOLENCE] is a fun sequel. Fundamentally if you liked previous you will like this. Not a huge amount to say.

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/rhomaioi Sermon On Good and Evil, c.a. 606 AD] was written because some poor soul had been stuck in the greenlight mines for three months and I wanted to get them out, and I needed a third successful page for it. Which is not to say that I halfassed it! No, really, I mean it. I tried to find a real low-level Roman officer who got lost in the Balkans out of the //Chronicon Pascale//, but it turns out those people mostly don't get a mention at all. So instead I wrote about Sarkic/Christian syncretism, which was fun.

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/metempsychosis Tiger Madness Loosed] was my attempt at a) trying to write better prose (failure) and b) getting a glimpse into the nonsensical power-struggles of the high Foundation (success). You can think of this as canon to Ada's story. We might see Ms. Basile again, too...

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/anddays Holy Patrimony] is an attempt at a short and somewhat unconventionally told tale. It feels like it doesn't quite have the spark, but I enjoy the density.

[[/tab]]
[[tab Measured Tales]]

**Adelaide Pages' No Good Very Bad Life:**

1: [*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/orardor Let will alone be the reason]
2: [*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/presentism Half of all the dead are children]
3: (...)

This is by a considerable margin the highest-effort thing I've put up, which is why it gets pride of place. [[collapsible show="The rest of this is technically a spoiler, I guess, so it goes in here." hide="make it vanish"]]
I wanted to write an SCP about Fire Suppression Department politics, but I realised I wanted to think a little about the kind of person who joins the FSD, and why. So I rotated a character in my head until she was poor Ada, and this tale series had to follow. There's a finale somewhere in the distance, after which I'll actually write the SCP. That will probably be my first //real// longform mainlister!

Believe it or not, this series and character were inspired by //[*https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1719/1719-h/1719-h.htm the Ballad of the White Horse]//.
[[/collapsible]] 

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/sonofthemourning The Missile has No Fucking Clue where it is], artex for [[*user UberGoober]], a sequel to another tale which has since vanished from the wiki for being too good. Not perfectly at peace with the moral arc but I like KALKI and want her to be happy in a non omnicidal way.

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/starsinthesky PAVE THE ROAD]. A sidequel to the mech stories in the other tab, but rather more focused on the miseries of the main character and her crush. Surgical romance.

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/thricedead RUBICONTRA]. Third Law tale about a death race in the Vatican. I like pulp in my tales, alright?

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/girlraisingproject Dead Long Ago], artex for [[*user SynthPanda_]], an over-the-top black comedy about the world's worst/best[[footnote]]You decide, reader![[/footnote]] mother. I love writing scenery-chewing villainy.

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/onedamnation In This the Task and Labour Lies], artex for [[*user SynthPanda_]], a poem about robot girls form the world of [[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/this-machine-bleeds This Machine Bleeds]], in particular the aviatrix Amy. Sweet and annotated with little[[footnote]]Well...[[/footnote]] notes from her gf <3

[*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/abasedebase Tame Impala], my first tale for the [*https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/black-diamond-billions-hub Black Diamond Billions] canon. (con) Artists and wealth never mix well... and no, I'm not quite sure what's with the title either.

[[/tab]]
[[/tabview]]

+ Fun Challenge For The Kids

Use a line from this poem in the introduction of //Permutation City// by Greg Egan as a prompt or title for an article:

[[collapsible show="Remit not paucity" hide="Rip, tie, cut toy man"]]
Into a mute crypt, I
Can’t pity our time
Turn amity poetic
Ciao, tiny trumpet!
Manic piety tutor
Tame purity tonic
Up, meiotic tyrant!
I taint my top cure
To it, my true panic
Put at my nice riot
To trace impunity
I tempt an outcry, I
Pin my taut erotic
Art to epic mutiny
Can’t you permit it
To cite my apt ruin?
My true icon: tap it
Copy time, turn it; a
Rite to cut my pain
Atomic putty? Rien!
[[/collapsible]]

(tell me if you do this and I'll mark it!)

whenwerewe's Pseudonormal Authorpage

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