SCP-914 Experiment Log Sandbox

Link to article: SCP-914 Experiment Log Sandbox.

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> This page will be purged regularly. If your log is rejected or doesn't adhere to the correct format, make sure to save a copy yourself if you want to try again.

----

++++ How to write a 914 test log:

Guidelines for future entries can be found [[[scp-914-experiment-log-guidelines|here]]]. The FAQ is located at the bottom of [[[experiment-log-914-hub|this page]]].

All test logs should be written in the following form. Please include your researcher's name on all records, along with the date formatted in European standard and a list of the total number of items "refined."

> @@**Name:**@@
> @@**Date:** DD/MM/YYYY@@
> @@**Total Items:**@@
> @@@@
> @@**Input:**@@
> @@**Setting:**@@
> @@**Output:**@@

If you want to add a note to a log that has already been ported over, copy the number of the test log and the output/note before it into the following template:

> @@**Suggested note for Test-XXXX**@@
> @@[Section before suggested note]@@
> @@[Your note]@@

----

++++ How this sandbox works:

* [[*user Queerious]] (me) will regularly check this page, with support at the moment by [[*user Leveritas]], selecting logs that are of sufficient quality to add to the log and port them over.
* Tests that fail to adhere to the proper format (date, etc.) will **not** be ported until fixed.
* Ownership of content posted to the 914 log is retained by log curators as stewards over any content therein. As such, any authors contributing to the logs cede any future claims to said content to the collaboration log curator.

----

++++ Regarding 914's rules and guidelines:


SCP-914 does not create or destroy matter, nor does it change anything on the atomic level. All outputs should contain all and only the matter included in the input. Some grandfathered entries break this rule, but new entries should never do so. We call this Conservation of Mass.

Do note that in case you intent to break a [[[scp-914-experiment-log-guidelines|guideline]]] other than CoM, your test has to make up for it in quality.

----

++++ Regarding in-universe names:

It is generally seen as bad form to use other writers' characters without asking. Of course, the rules of the wiki do not prohibit this, but asking beforehand will never hurt anyone.

+++++ If you're not comfortable with your in-universe name being used, politely request a change or come to me about it.

----

++++ Regarding professionalism in the logs

Some of you might have noticed that I'm being harsher on notes and logs that I deem too LOLFoundation. To illustrate my point, I'm going to use an example from Part IV:

[[collapsible show="+ Half-Life 3?" hide="- Close"]]

**Name:** Jr. Researcher Redmar
**Date:** 20/03/2019
**Total Items:** One CD containing “Half Life” for PC

**Input:** Mentioned above
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** An extremely bright light consisting of [REDACTED] Lumens, which faded after 15 seconds, revealing a CD with the cover art resembling that of Half Life 2, but the 2 was replaced with 3. When inserted into a disk drive, an image with the word: “NOPE” appeared on screen, followed by a noise resembling human laughter.

//Note: Jr. Researcher Redmar has requested reassignment. Granted. - Dr. Veritas//

[[/collapsible]]

I actually edited the note. This is what it originally was:

[[collapsible show="+ Half Life 3? Original" hide="- Close"]]

**Name:** Jr. Researcher Redmar
**Date:** 20/03/2019
**Total Items:** One CD containing “Half Life 2” for PC

**Input:** Mentioned above
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** An extremely bright light consisting of [REDACTED] Lumens, which faded after 15 seconds, revealing a CD with the cover art resembling that of Half Life 2, but the 2 was replaced with 3. When inserted into a disk drive, an image with the word: “NOPE” appeared on screen, followed by a noise resembling human laughter.

//Note: Fuck you, 914 - Jr. Researcher Redmar//

[[/collapsible]]

This is a very small difference, but it makes a world of difference in tone. The first entry works a lot better because it's not a researcher scolding the machine outright as a kid would. It's **implying** (read, show don't tell) that the researcher became so fed up with the result that he outright left. Wacky entries work well if it's against the cold professionalism that signifies the Foundation, and it **doesn't work** if it looks like the employees are acting just as unprofessional. Notes that enforce such excessive or LOLFoundation behaviour will be removed.

----

++++ Other things:

* No more introduction notes. 914 is supposed to be unpredictable, and there’s only so many times it can turn handwriting into different handwriting or a drawing before you start predicting it.
* Don't link outside of SCP wiki pages (crosslinks to other SCPs/Tales/GoI formats are ok). The reason for this are in-universe and out-of universe for different reasons:
 * In-universe, it's not professional conduct to link to anything outside Foundation intranet if that's not part of your job. On top of that, anyone can edit something like Wikipedia, and the Foundation would not rely on it as a reliable information source.
 * Out-of-universe, it's immersion breaking. Please write a short description of the concept instead. This way, it doesn't require the reader to read a Wikipedia article where a short description would have done the job.
 * The 914 Log adheres to the Sitewide AI Use Policies, and AI generated content is prohibited. If you are found to be in violation of the policy, you will be banned from contributing in the future.
 * [[*user Bonboneka]] is a regular and a veteran. If she tells you to change something, I will likely agree with her.


[[/div]]

[[/div]]

----

+ Reopened once again!

+++ Part XXI is up and running! Find your tests [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-914/offset/20 here].

**Note: A number of tests were just posted, so go check it out!**

----

++++ Critique for your entries to the 914 Experiment Log, and other collaboration logs has a new home on the official [*https://discord.gg/scp SCP Wiki Discord], in the Writing Channels, in the #specialized-critique forum! This is a great place to get feedback on your collab log entry, alongside the crit provided here.

-----

++ Notes to Mod

+++++ For when there are issues with the logs.

**All approved entries have been ported! Thanks so much for the patience! -- QMod**

**I think the date of some tests needs to be adjusted to fit in the log now if it is ported. Since its been more than a month now. The same counts for the other tests from October. However I feel some tests don't fit a new date since they are Halloween tests. Luckily, a changed date doesn't matter for me since mine isn't a Halloween test. - Bamibal** 

**I mean, people are gonna be reading these far into the future. They won't know how late we were. I think that it should be fine. - Ibarazaki**

**No no true, tbh when I wrote this message I thought there were already November test ported as well. Still I can imagine that its kinda a vibekiller to have your Halloween test ported with being closer to Christmas than Halloween at this point. - Bamibal**

**I said this under one of the test but I'll put it here as well. PLEASE if you are kinda new to the 914 test (after 2000) and you are not certain if something is allowed or not, please ask one of the older 914 members. (Boneka for example.) because I noticed that a lot of misinformation is spread on what is and isn't allowed. - Bamibal**

**I have a question regarding SCP-914's input/output booths. How does it move an object into itself for refinement? Is there an entrance into 914's insides? How exactly does 914 move the objects out into the output booth? - DMilk**

**You know, the point of all this testing is because we don't really know how 914 works to begin with. - Boneka**

**Related question, but one that is probably more answerable. Are the booths airtight? Without the door. Basically, if you put a seal over the entrance, could you pull a vacuum with proper equipment? - BlueEyedFox_**

**I've found a minor issue in one of my tests, test 2031. It says "D-3238, who inhaled gas accidentally, complained experience pain," which should be something like "complained that he experienced pain in the chest." Thanks!! - DrIbarazaki**

**So, are tests actually gonna get ported again or did Q basically forget about 914? At this rate we better would kept it closed after 2000 because this is not it. - Bamibal**


> +++ QMod Note: Hey all, I wanted to take a second and apologize for my absence; the previous way we were organizing this was making things more difficult, and I am working on a system that will better empower tests being approved and ported more frequently. I just ask that you be patient with me, and trust that I am working on a resolution asap.

**After five months of not touching the project //you// volunteered for (as is my understanding of the situation) I’m not sure organization is the problem, unless you mean your own personal task management system. While I understand that managing the logs can be overwhelming, it may be better to close the logs again or hand off the task to someone who can better keep on top of feedback and porting if you are not able to give this page the attention it needs. - comptech**

**It would have to be a pretty generous "ASAP" considering that there are tests in here from last October and you've been plenty active on other parts of the wiki in that time frame. I want to cooperate on this project as much as I can, but I can only be so patient having already waited that long without a single port happening, or without you even so much as checking this page—especially considering that the bulk of actual feedback is being done by other users such as myself and Ibarazaki, so your main task is really just approving and porting tests, which should not be "difficult" by any means—at least not difficult enough to warrant a five months-long absence. - Boneka**

**I have to admit, I do think that it would have been better to at least do this earlier. Waiting 5 months to tell is this does kind of feel rather annoying. At this point, I've almost been considering working towards joining staff for a chance to work on this... Also, to add onto Boneka's complaint, there are some tests already approved by Lev here, anyways. You've been active other places, and all you would have to do, in the case of those tests, would have been to add them. While I understand why you may have been inactive, it would have been better to at least get this notice earlier. - DrIbarazaki**

**I guess don't bother anymore. Atp I think it just feels like we were made happy with a dead horse because someone would take over the logs, but actually didn't. No communication at all, I had to read from here that you are busy with the Bright works project and that is fine, but why not give this up then? Let someone else who actually wants this do it? but imo it should have been kept closed after 2000. - Bamibal**

**The last few tests in the 914-203X test logs don’t have the test number designation thing. (Also please don’t kill this.)- FreedomTaleSans**

> +++ AftoMod Note: Submissions to the 914 extended log have been suspended until further notice. 

-----

++ New Entries

+++++ Please put a separator between each test.

-----
**Name:** Senior Researcher Zane Farlands  
**Date:** 25/10/2025  
**Total Items:** Five standard analog wristwatch  

**Input:** One standard analog wristwatch, functional, with leather strap.  
**Setting:** Rough  
**Output:** Several fragments of brass, glass, and melted plastic. The internal mechanism was fused together, rendering it unrecognizable.  

**Input:** One standard analog wristwatch, identical to the first.  
**Setting:** Coarse  
**Output:** A warped wristwatch with its hands permanently stuck at 12:00. When held close to the ear, subjects reported faint ticking sounds inconsistent with its mechanism.  

**Input:** One standard analog wristwatch, identical to the first.  
**Setting:** 1:1  
**Output:** An identical wristwatch. However, after continuous use for 48 hours, the battery showed no measurable energy depletion.  

**Input:** One standard analog wristwatch, identical to the first.  
**Setting:** Fine  
**Output:** A polished silver wristwatch with no visible seams or battery slot. The time automatically adjusted to the local timezone upon movement.  

**Input:** One standard analog wristwatch, identical to the first.  
**Setting:** Very Fine  
**Output:** A translucent wristwatch that displays a time inconsistent with the current one. When worn by a subject, the display changes to reflect the subject’s *estimated time of death*. Readings vary per wearer.  

//Note: Seems like SCP-914 can refine concepts, not just materials. The result doesn’t make sense mechanically, but it works. Further testing is needed. – S. R. Farlands Zane//

------

**Name:** Medical Resident Ibarazaki
**Date:** 20/11/2024
**Total Items:** Three small 20kW diesel generators

**Input:** One generator
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One slightly smaller generator with the exhaust threaded and the fuel tank relabeled as an “H2O box.” Output cable was also replaced by an input cable. When plugged into a power supply and supplied with water, output started generating methane gas.

**Input:** One generator
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One slightly smaller generator with a fuel tank relabeled as a “coolant reservoir”, a miniaturised cooling tower, five slots that could hold five standard size nuclear fuel pellets each, and slots for two 25.4 mm OD x 8 cm long nuclear control rods. When switched on, output produced 200 kW of power, but was a significant radiation hazard due to the lack of shielding. Switched off and sent to Facility-254 (Foundation nuclear waste repository for North America).

**Input:** One generator
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One small fusion reactor of the stellator design, with a large amount of wires and other cables escaping out of openings in the casing. Fifteen power outlets of multiple known and unknown formats were scattered around the exterior, and one large switch was located on the exterior. Scans of the interior were inconclusive, and showed gravitational anomalies within. When switched on, around 256 kW of electricity was produced, but multiple gravitational anomalies were detected, although they appeared to be localised within the testing chamber. Testing halted after loss of gravitational force noticed throughout the testing chamber, and later readings showed that gravity within the chamber was ~0.73G. Gravitational force returned to baseline after 51 hours.

//Note: Did SCP-914 just create a generator that eats gravity? How is that even possible? Is gravity a particle? Does this thing somehow absorb gravitational waves? What is going on here? - R. Ibarazaki//

**(Condensed addressed OOC notes.) - Boneka**

------

**Name:** Researcher Joseph Carpenter
**Date:** 28/11/2024
**Total Items:** One //Raising Cane’s// receipt, one magnifying glass, one //X-ACTO// knife

**Input**: One magnifying glass
**Setting**: Fine
**Output**: One visually unchanged magnifying glass. The magnifying glass now shows within it what lies 2 meters behind it. For example, a user can see themselves in the third person from behind. Trying to manipulate or obstruct the viewpoint in any way has been unsuccessful. The closer an object gets to the viewpoint, the more transparent it becomes. Getting too close will render said object completely invisible until it backs away. Output placed in anomalous storage.


**Input**: One //X-ACTO// knife
**Setting**: Fine
**Output**: One visibly unchanged //X-ACTO// knife. D-441102 was given a piece of standard A4 (210 x 297 millimeters) paper and instructed to cut it. Over 6 hours, and with a confirmed analysis, D-441102 would cut the paper into 62,370 pieces and was monitored to perform an average of 3-5 cuts within the span of a second. She refused to take any breaks and appeared quite content. Upon completion, D-441102 reported that she had a good time and that she’d be happy to do similar tasks. 5 minutes after completion, she complained about intense cramping and severe muscle strain in her entire right arm, exhaustion, and was overall far less enthusiastic about further testing. Her cheerful nature during the test appears to be another trait of the output. Output placed in anomalous storage. 


**Input**: One //Raising Cane's// receipt
**Setting**: Fine
**Output**: One crisp, noticeably brighter //Raising Cane’s// receipt, with passionate descriptions of the purchased items written in cursive. The names of the items have been capitalized and also written in cursive. All codes and excess receipt data have been removed. The longer someone is in contact with the receipt, the more emotional they feel about //Raising Cane’s//, while reminiscing about false memories related to the restaurant. After holding the receipt for more than 10 minutes, D-91822 began crying tears of joy, claiming they could not wait to go back and order the same meal again, and that they were incredibly hungry. Output incinerated. 


//Note: For the record, I did NOT go rummaging through anyone’s trash, I politely asked MacLean if I could have it. - Researcher Joseph Carpenter//

**(Critted off-sandbox, no further comments from me) - Boneka**

-----
**Name:** Guest Researcher Luck, Research Assistant Alice Jensen (documenting)
**Date:** 05/12/2024
**Total Items:** One introductory note printed on cardstock reading "Greetings 914. I am Guest Researcher Luck, visiting briefly from Denmark to finish my thesis. As such, I hope that we may have an amicable working relationship, and to that end, I've brought a little gift for you. Please enjoy." One aluminium can of WD40 water displacement, one plastic tube of metal polish, and five bars of sterling silver weighing 10 grams each.

//Note: Greetings everyone. I'm here on a brief visit to this facility as part of my exchange program while I finish my thesis. As such, I found it prudent to introduce myself to everyone involved, including a "peace offering" of sorts to 914. Along with the customary introduction note, of course. I will naturally be taking all needed precautions as outlined in the safety manual and thus use a D-class to retrieve all outputs. - Guest Researcher Luck//

**Input:** The aforementioned note, water-displacement, tube of metal polish
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One note reading "Hello Felicity" with a cognitohazardous symbol, one small aluminium and plastic keychain resembling a rabbit's foot. D-76251 was instructed to retrieve the items from the output booth without incident. He was subsequently prompted to read the note aloud. Upon reading, Guest Researcher Luck verbally expressed confusion, stating, "That’s not my name." She then removed the note from D-76251’s hand for personal inspection. Following her examination of the note, she collapsed with a murmur before experiencing a severe low-viscosity haemorrhaging from all facial orifices.

**Addendum:** Chemical analysis later revealed the low viscosity was the quality of an anomalous liquid compound, consistent with the product of test output 914-0569 ("Liquid bad luck") being inexplicably mixed into the otherwise non-anomalous human blood. The blood itself has been tested and recorded. Every test has come back as a negative in terms of Guest Researcher Luck being the person of origin. Multiple test failures occurred during testing as a supposed result of mishandling by personnel, equipment failures, samples outright disappearing, returning inconclusive results, or becoming cross-contaminated. The keychain did not exhibit any anomalous properties and has been placed into storage.

//Note: I'll be taking over the remaining tests while --Felicity-- Researcher Luck recovers in the medical bay. - Research Assistant Alice Jensen//

**Input:** One bar of sterling silver
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** One puddle of silver in a molten state, subsequently solidified, specked with flecks of green oxidised copper.

**Input:** One bar of sterling silver
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** One bar of pure silver with a weight of 9.25 grams, one cube of copper with a weight of 0.75 grams.

//Note: Output consistent with alloy composition of input sterling silver. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Input:** One bar of sterling silver
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One small silver teaspoon. A series of symbols of unknown origin are engraved on the back of the handle. Translation is ongoing.

**Input:** One bar of sterling silver
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A sculpture depicting two miniature silver cats seated adjacent to each other, with their tails forming a heart at the base. The eyes of the cats are dyed green, likely due to oxidised copper from the sterling alloy. Testing indicates that individuals in an approximately 3-meter radius of the sculpture experience an anomalous sensation of being judgmentally watched. This sensation is greatly intensified within the eyesight of the sculpture, with subjects reporting the eyes of the cats to be following them.

//Note: It's almost a cute sculpture all things considered. If only the cats weren't so judgemental. The left one in particular reminds me of Researcher Luck. Something about the way her eyes bore into my soul. Output incinerated. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Input:** One bar of sterling silver
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** A hammered silver four-leaf clover, with its stalk shaped to allow it to be worn as a ring. Subjects who wear the ring report a general feeling of good luck. However, controlled testing shows no statistically significant alteration in outcomes for the subject. Notably, Subject D-76251 experienced a substantial loss of speculative funds during multiple games of chance conducted as part of the testing, which involved Research Assistant Jensen and Security Officer Jacobs. 

//Note: I'm almost disappointed. A test on Very Fine and it's just a mild cognitohazard... Either we should count our blessings in that it wasn't a repeat of --Felicity's-- Guest Researcher Luck's test, or there are other properties than discovered in our initial tests. Either way, hopefully --Felicity-- Guest Researcher Luck will recover soon. Until then, I'll continue the scheduled tests for the upcoming days. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Addendum:** Approximately one week following her collapse, Guest Researcher Luck regained consciousness. She exhibited symptoms of significant dissociative amnesia, having no recollection of her prior identity, activities, or involvement with the research. Upon regaining awareness, she identified herself as “Felicity,” exhibited no signs of distress, and displayed an unusually upbeat and carefree demeanour. A psychological assessment is pending to determine any long-term cognitive or behavioural changes. The first attempt at a blood draw after her waking up resulted in the inadvertent deletion of all prior instances of Guest Researcher Luck's medical records. New records have been requested, but as of writing, they have not been re-acquired.

//Note: As previously stated I'll continue the scheduled tests while --Felicity-- Guest Researcher Luck recovers. Should that happen at all. There might also have been more to that note than initially met the eye. I keep wanting to call her Felicity instead of --Felicity-- Luck... - Research Assistant Alice Jensen//

**(Condensed addressed OOC notes.) - Boneka**

------

**Name:** Intern Lacte
**Date:** 05/12/2024
**Total Items:** One copy of the Foundation Personnel Handbook (2023 Edition) one copy of Intern Lacte's 3-page will

**Input:** Foundation Personnel Handbook
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One 914 Employee Manual, 2024 Edition. This has not yet been created by the Foundation. Output contains advice on the maintainment of SCP-914 and proper testing procedure. --No detected abnormalities or any unusual properties.-- Continued interaction with output leads to the handler gaining a obsessive focus on "feeding" themselves to SCP-914. Effect increases in intensity over the course of 7-9 days in which the subject attempts to either interact with SCP-914 or plan for "feeding" themselves to it. The effect is able to be temporarily reversed with Class-C amnestic treatment, however, it resurfaces every 3-5 days. Output incinerated.

**Input:** Intern Lacte's will
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One standard Foundation formatted file regarding a potential link between being an employee at the SCP Foundation and the retrocasual alteration of a person's name. Output appears to have greater research, study, and experimentation cited than the only known official Foundation investigation into this phenomenon. Output sent to the Department of Review for the re-analysis of phenomenon. 

//Note: I am safe and fine despite any rumours regarding me and Very Fine. Regular amnestic treatment will suck but hopefully this effect will fade soon and I won't develop liver cancer. - Intern Lacte//

//Note: Our medical staff will certainly be kept sharp on the procedures of administering amnestics. Here's hoping the side-effects will be mild in your case, Lacte. - Research Assistant Alice Jensen//

**(Condensed addressed OOC notes.) - Boneka**

----

**Name:** Research Assistant Alice Jensen
**Date:** 07/12/2024
**Total Items:** --Five-- Four red clay bricks each with dimensions of 190mm x 90mm x 90mm.

**Input:** One brick
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** Small chunks of crushed brick in a large pile of brick dust.

**Input:** One brick
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** One poorly fired uneven red clay brick. Output began crumbling at the edges when handled. 

**Input:** One brick
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** Two hollow red clay bricks. Mass of the output is consistent with the mass of the input.

**Input:** One brick
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One visually unaltered brick. Personnel belonging to one or more minority groups report a greatly increased sense of confidence in both themselves and their community and that the brick has a very satisfying heft to it when held. After approximately 10 seconds of exposure to these effects, a strong urge to fight any perceived injustice is induced in the subject. This urge will exponentially increase in strength until the subject violently uses the brick against one such perceived injustice. D-76251 was successfully restrained with minimal injuries to security personnel, though he did manage to strike Research Assistant Jensen with the thrown brick as she was evacuating the test chamber.

//Note: Testing for Very Fine was cancelled. 914 seems to be in a somewhat violent mood today, so I'd rather not risk it. I'll get some painkillers in the meantime. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**(Condensed addressed OOC notes.) -Boneka**

----
**Name:** Research Assistant Alice Jensen
**Date:** 08/12/2024
**Total Items:** One box of 10 plastic //Tom and Jerry// cartoon-themed Christmas baubles

**Input:** Two Christmas baubles
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** Shards of coloured plastic.

**Input:** Two Christmas baubles
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** A small plastic cube containing liquid dye. Output shattered on retrieval by D-Class as the cube's walls were exceptionally thin. D-76251 was treated for minor lacerations to the palm of his left hand.

**Input:** Two Christmas baubles
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** Two Christmas ornaments in the shape of characters from the //Tom and Jerry// cartoon.

//Note: I'd personally consider this a downgrade. At least the baubles weren't as obtrusive to the eye as these are. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Input:** Two Christmas baubles
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One larger Christmas bauble with a tasteful white and gold pattern. When output is hung on a tree, viewers report getting different holiday-themed songs stuck in their heads. Songs are not limited to those surrounding Christmas. All effects cease after output is removed from the tree.

//Note: We did indeed test it on trees other than those ordinarily used for Christmas trees. The output works on all of them. Even that half-dead dwarf palm from the cafeteria. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Input:** Two Christmas baubles
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** --One M1 fragmentation grenade-- One plastic model of an M1 fragmentation grenade with an anomalous effect that causes personnel not familiar with explosives to perceive it as a real grenade. Upon the opening of the output booth, Research Assistant Jensen immediately ordered the evacuation of Research Cell 109-B and adjacent rooms. EOD qualified personnel were called in, and a close inspection via remote drone revealed the non-explosive nature of the output. 

//Note: In my defence, it was a quite realistic model of a grenade. And better safe than sorry when it's 914. It does strike me though. Why did 914 go from baubles to a grenade? What's the connection between the two? - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Addendum:** A loud pop was heard when the output was incinerated. It is hypothesised that ambient moisture of the input chamber had been turned into hydrogen gas contained inside the model grenade. No damage was reported to the incinerator.

**Condensed addressed OOC notes. Last test may only warrant a Fine setting, not VF. Not sure if this one is particularly interesting enough, will leave it up for second opinions. - Boneka**

**I kinda agree that it's right in the middle of Fine-VF, but I think that it could work as a VF. I say it can stay. - DrIbarazaki**

------
**Name:** Jr. Researcher A. Metanoia
**Date:** 11/12/2024
**Total Items:** Four pocket watches, with components removed in order to render them non-functional

//Note: Having analysed the events of previous testing entries, the watches have been rendered non-functional beforehand in order to reduce the likelihood of generating temporal anomalies. - J.R. A. Metanoia//

**Input:** One aforementioned pocket watch.
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** One flip clock constructed entirely from brass, non-functional due to several gears in its internal mechanisms being missing.

**Input:** One aforementioned pocket watch.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One analogue wristwatch, non-functional due to the glass that would typically protect its face being entirely made out of brass, leaving the time unreadable.

**Input:** One aforementioned pocket watch.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One "digital" wristwatch, made out of brass materials. Display reads 16:05, identical to the time displayed on the input, but cannot be modified due to its construction involving no electromechanical components - the numbers are embossed onto a flat plane.

**Input:** One aforementioned pocket watch.
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One penlight, with its lens broken. Upon D-Class retrieving the output from the booth, Jr. Researcher A. Metanoia immediately snatched it out of their hands, placing it in her pocket and indicating disapproval with the output.

//Note: 914 does not have a history of producing outputs that have no thematic link with their inputs - and the only thematic link between a pocket watch and a penlight is that both are used as focus tools in hypnotic inductions. The risk of a D-Class possessing such a tool, especially with a Very Fine output, was something I considered greater than the risk of handling said object. - J.R. A. Metanoia//

//Note: Manually taking a pulse requires a watch as well. Penlights also have use during medical checkups. With --Felicity-- luck that's the connection between the two rather than hypnotic inductions. - Research Assistant Jensen//

**Addendum:** Further testing indicated that, while the lens itself was broken, an anomalous internal mechanism allowed it to emit light despite a lack of bulb to do so. Personnel who were directly exposed to the light (reflected light and exposure through video feeds proved ineffective) were afflicted with a compulsion to fulfill commands given to them, regardless of the origin; interviews with the subjects after the fact indicated that they held no memory of the activities they were compelled to perform. The strength of the compulsion scales with the length of exposure and the mental fortitude of the subject.

//Note: Unfortunately, R.A. Jensen, it would seem the optimistic connection was not the correct one in this instance. Output incinerated - I am inclined to believe that having such an object, even in anomalous storage, would pose too great of a security risk. I, for one, do not wish to wake up one day with another person's blood on my hands. - J.R. A. Metanoia//

//Note: Alas. And a wise choice. - R.A. Jensen//

**Sorry, I know it's been a second since this test was submitted, but looking at it now after going over the entire sandbox gives me some fresh perspectives. My main thing is I think if the attending researcher believed the VF output to be that dangerous, it wouldn't have been very smart to put it in their own pocket, considering it just came out of 914. The output also being a hypnosis device as expected is indeed dangerous but kind of too straightforward? I think it would make a much more interesting test if the effect turned out to be something else entirely. Although I'm not super pressed over this and would probably still approve the entry as-is. - Boneka**

-----

**Name:** Medical Resident Ibarazaki
**Date:** 18/12/2024
**Total Items:** Three 7x7x7cm lead cubes, three 7x7x7cm bismuth cubes

//Note: While the inputs themselves are not likely to glean any new information, the difference is in the method of how the test is being performed. One of the cubes will be placed within the input booth, while another of the other type will be placed at the same location within the output booth. I’ll also be starting at Fine, to see if perhaps the role of each setting will be changed. - R. Ibarazaki//

**Input:** One lead cube (input), one bismuth cube (output)
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One cube of lead-bismuth eutectic (LBE), of around twice the expected density, with all material contained within the same area as the bismuth cube placed in the output. Output was stable despite the extremely high density for the substance.

**Input:** One bismuth cube (input), one lead cube (output)
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One 7x7x3.5cm block of lead and one 7x7x3.5cm block of bismuth, within the original location of the lead cube. When disturbed, blocks rapidly expanded to their original size of 7x7x7cm.

**Input:** One lead cube (input), one bismuth cube (output)
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** A large explosion of superheated bismuth and lead, with both lead and bismuth shrapnel flying out of the output chamber. The area where the bismuth cube was originally placed was found to contain a pool of lead slag mixed with small amounts of bismuth, and amounts of both materials were found in Testing Chamber 109-B’s air. It is currently theorised that whatever bound the previous outputs together did not apply on the Coarse setting. Further testing, if attempted, is discouraged from using the Coarse and Rough settings. 

//Entry into the testing chamber is discouraged for today without proper PPE, at least until we clear the room of heavy metals. We also have to get the slag off the floor of the output chamber before we can test again. In addition, tests of this type are from now on forbidden, as it seemed to cause more strain than usual to SCP-914. Testing should be open tomorrow! - R. Ibarazaki// 

**(Condensed OOC notes. Reviewing this again now, I think I'm going to have to turn this one down unless more information is provided. It appears these results involve the superimposing of each item over each other somehow, but there's no reason that this can't be done with testing the conventional way, and though the method is novel, the results aren't interesting enough to warrant it. I'd probably allow it if you want to do a follow-up test that goes further into this method, but you'd have to be cautious to not set any new major precedents in the process. - Boneka**

**That was the original intent; a second installment where this was shown to cause undue wear to SCP-914. This was meant to prevent the creation of any new precedents, and also for, y'know, content. Thanks! - DrIbarazaki**

----

**Name:** Dr. Campton Blue
**Date:** 28/12/2024
**Total Items:** Two 2009 //Toyota Corolla// vehicles (fully disassembled, 32017 parts), three //Toyota Corolla// assembly manuals

**Input:** One 2009 //Toyota Corolla// vehicle (fully disassembled, 32017 parts), one //Toyota Corolla// assembly manual
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** 32017 miniature fully-functional car models of various sizes, one manual on how to build a car model out of each part in the original car.

//Note: I tried the instructions for creating a miniature out of the left side window in my home shop. A few of the cuts were a bit difficult, but it works perfectly (except for the left window, which gets stuck sometimes). - Dr. Campton Blue//

**Input:** One 2009 //Toyota Corolla// (fully disassembled, 32017 parts), one //Toyota Corolla// assembly manual
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One miniature LGM-3 Minuteman nuclear warhead (fully disassembled, 64013 parts), one manual on how to build a scaled-down LGM-3 Minuteman nuclear warhead from parts. The warhead was determined to have the same mass as the original car.

//Note: Obviously, not doing this, but sent the instructions to a friend of mine at the Foundation (working in site nuke design) and apparently this would actually **work**. Scary stuff. Going to kill two birds with one stone and see if putting this stuff through again will make it work. - Dr. Campton Blue//

**Input:** One miniature LGM-3 Minuteman nuclear warhead (fully disassembled, 64013 parts, output from previous test), one //Toyota Corolla// assembly manual
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** A modified 2009 //Toyota Corolla// (fully disassembled) with //Sonic the Hedgehog//-themed cosmetics permanently attached to several pieces (such as the rear-view mirrors and cup holders) as well as a //Sonic the Hedgehog// paint job and a nonstandard engine that ran on a miniaturized antimatter reactor. A manual was found in the glovebox with instructions on how to maintain and build the car from base parts, although many of the instructions on how to manufacture the parts themselves were rendered illegible due to severe motor oil stains. 

**Addendum:** The car was assembled and brought out to a cleared area in a nearby uninhabited zone. A D-Class with an implanted anomalous tracker was loaded into the car and instructed to begin driving. The moment the accelerator pedal was pressed, a loud shockwave was heard, and the car appeared to vanish. Analysis of tracker data shows that the D-Class immediately accelerated to 30 km/s. Later analysis of satellite data collated from multiple databases suggests that a debris field in the expected location of the car is currently in orbit around the Sun. Disinformation has been disseminated regarding a pulse explosion propulsion system and respective damage has been incurred to the launch area.

//Note: Requesting permission to send that manual off to RAISA to see if they can extract the full instructions for making another one of these. This could lead to some important advances. - Dr. Campton Blue//

**(Condensed addressed OOC notes.) - Boneka**

------

**Name:** Dr. Lombardi
**Date:** 29/12/2024
**Total Items:** One VHS tape labeled //30 Minute Abs//

**Input:** One VHS tape labeled //30 Minute Abs//
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One matte black VHS cassette with reversed label reading //-30 Minute Abs// in mirrored text. Cassette appears to run backwards when played, with time counter decreasing instead of increasing. Testing the output has been inconclusive—all D-Class provided were noted to be in excellent physical health prior to viewing. No changes noted after workout routine was performed.

//Note: There is some debate going on around the lab whether every D-Class we selected just happened to look like fitness models, or if the routine retroactively gave them all 'rock hard abs'. We've devised two ways to test this: We'll specifically request a heavyset D-Class from offsite. If we get another American Gladiator, I'll cancel the viewing to prevent the tape from having an effect. -Dr. Lombardi//

**Addendum:** Pre-testing evaluation of the additional D-Class revealed well-developed abdominal muscles consistent with 90 days of intensive training. The order to cancel the workout was overridden by Agent Hault of the Temporal Anomalies department. Output confiscated following testing.

//Note: Another predestination paradox?  Making this a habit, Doctor? - Agent Hault//

//Note: What do you mean 'another'? - Dr. Lombardi//

**Condensed addressed OOC notes; may remove the last two notes since it's not clear what they're referencing. - Bonekai**

**I think it’s a joke about Dr. Lombardi being “predestined” to cause another predestination paradox? - FreedomTaleSans**

------

**Name:** Dr. Compton Blue
**Date:** 06/01/2025
**Total items:** Seven identical game manuals describing the 2025 FRC game //REEFSCAPE//, six 2.5cm x 5cm x .6m square aluminum tubes, .9m 12awg copper wire, six steel pipes, one lead acid battery, one RoboRIO, twelve //Kraken// motors, 20 //Neo// motors, one robot radio, 24 cubic cm rubber, one .3m x .3m Lexan sheet, three notes of encouragement from Dr. Compton Blue.

//Note: This test is to explore the limits of reinputting items, seeing as I had some success with that in the previous test. The end goal for this test is to obtain a robot capable of scoring in all of the ways described by the manual. For those not aware, FRC is a high school level robotics competition that I have decided is a good benchmark for 914's understanding, due to its design. - Dr. Compton Blue//

**Input:** A game manuals describing the 2025 FRC game //REEFSCAPE//, six 2.5cm x 5cm x .6m square aluminum tubes, .9m 12awg copper wire, six steel pipes, one lead acid battery, one RoboRIO, twelve //Kraken// motors, 20 //Neo// motors, one robot radio, 24 cubic cm rubber, one .3m x .3m Lexan sheet.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A large robot fully made of intricate clockwork parts. It seems to have no electrical components and deeper internal scans have shown that some gears approach the size of ten atoms in diameter. All provided materials have been used inside of the construction, with rubber notably being used for precision flexion mechanisms. One game manual describing the "1850 FCC game //TICK TOCK//", with nonsensical rules such as:

|| **R103 ##green|^^*^^MECHANISM playback rate limit##** || Your MECHANISM must move through time at the global standard rate. ||
|| **R105 ##blue|MECHANISM DRIVE POWER limit##** ||  Your MECHANISM may not use gravity-powered PROPULSION to move through space at more than .1 m/s/s. ||

Notably, the aforementioned robot breaks several of the robot construction rules in the produced manual.

//For those wondering, rules are colored Green if they are implemented every year and Blue if they are not. - Dr. Compton Blue//

**Input:** Previously outputted robot, one //REEFSCAPE// game manual.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A large lattice of modular robotic cubes, showing rudimentary intelligence and a proficiency for learning FRC games. One manual describing how to use said robot. However, the outputted robot breaks several rules of the //REEFSCAPE// game, including R101, 105, 202, 301, 401 and other various rules regarding bumpers, 501, 502, 504, 506, 601 and other various rules regarding batteries, 613, 614 and other various rules regarding electronics and wiring, and 701 and other rules regarding control systems.

**Input:** Previously outputted robot, one //REEFSCAPE// game manual.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A large robot, a manual on how to use said robot. No rules were violated upon primary inspection. However, when activated, the robot was incapable of scoring coral on the top bar or depositing algae into the net.

**Input:** Previously outputted robot, one //REEFSCAPE// game manual.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** An overly large shredder that involved various impractical components such as a flamethrower, acid tank (analysis suggests that the acid present was distilled from the provided battery), and pulper. The shredder was already activated with the game manual inside the input slot.

//Note: Me too, 914, me too. I think I'll change to Very Fine to take advantage of some of the more esoteric aspects of 914. - Dr. Compton Blue//

**Input:** Previous output shredder, one //REEFSCAPE// game manual, one note of encouragement from Dr. Compton Blue.
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** A floating chrome-colored orb and one manual on how to operate it. Scans of the orb shows that no rules have been violated despite subjective assessments, and flight has been achieved through an anomalous electromagnetic manipulator providing upwards thrust. It appears to try to score through a claw, however the claw is too small in diameter to pick up algae and too large in diameter to hold on to the cage, making some kinds of scoring impossible.

**Input:** Previous output robot, previous waste cube, one //REEFSCAPE// game manual, one note of encouragement
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** --A fully functional robot-- A large inanimate cube of indeterminate material that makes observers believe that the cube is a fully functional robot that has won whatever competition or test it is currently participating in.

**I feel like this one could be expanded on much much more. That description is simply too vague for a VF test, especially considering you could probably do something amusing with the output. - Boneka**

**Input:** Previously outputted --robot-- cube, one //REEFSCAPE// game manual, one note of encouragement from Dr. Compton Blue.
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** An unstable construction constituting all the previous mass homogenized into one unstable alloy, which appeared to explode with significant force, sufficient to embed the fragments several inches into the wall of the testing area. Video evidence suggests the original construction was in the shape of a fist with the middle finger extended, facing up. No personnel were injured; however, testing was concluded due to safety concerns.

//Note: Conclusion, don't force stuff. Especially when 914 gets cranky. - Dr. Compton Blue//

**Condensed addressed OOC notes. I think it'd be best for you to nix the last entry and focus on expanding the one before it. Also, I believe in your last test, your character's name was spelled "Campton Blue', and now it's "Compton Blue"; just wanted to point that out in case you wanted to use one or the other for consistency. - Boneka**

----

**Name:** Medical Resident Ibarazaki
**Date:** 16/01/2025
**Total Items:** 500 30-litre bags of quartz sand

//Note: This test is to see what will happen if we fill SCP-914 to full capacity, giving it few options to really refine outputs. I specifically chose sand because, well, it’s pretty boring and cheap. Not much you can do with sand, but that’s the point. Also, we couldn't fill SCP-914 for the last test, as I could only get 500 bags. - R. Ibarazaki//

**Input:** 180 sandbags
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** 180 bags of quartz gravel

**Input:** 180 sandbags
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One large bag, filled with extremely fine quartz fibres, similar to asbestos. Bag disposed of offsite. 

**Input:** 140 sandbags
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One large glass cube, with what appears to be a large circuit board embedded within the centre of it. Attempts are being made to remove the circuit for analysis.

**Addendum:** Circuit board was recovered with acceptable damage. Further analysis shows that the transistors, as well as all other components, were constructed with extreme precision, with transistors the size of those achievable with a 1.2nm die shrink. However, the circuitry was made entirely from silicon metal with none of the additional processes needed for a proper circuit used, making it useless as an electronic device. The backing material was made of HDPE from the sandbags.

**Been a while since I wrote one of these! Sorry if I make any mistakes, but I think that factually it should be good! I should mention that quartz is oxygen and silicon so that's where I got the silicon for the circuit board. As usual, I wrote this at midnight, so I'll read any crit tomorrow. Thanks! - DrIbarazaki**

**No comments from me :) - Boneka**

**Holy shit, I actually did it first try! I'm improving! - Ibarazaki**

------
**Name:** Researcher Snapdragon, Intern Raven
**Date:** 01/02/25
**Total Items:** Three steel-head claw hammers

**Input:** One hammer
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One wooden-head steel-handled claw hammer. Due to the low energy-transfer rate of the wood, the output functioned as an overall subpar hammer. 

**Input:** One hammer
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One hammer that disassembles anything it hits, similar to the Coarse function of 914. Objects hit with the output will disassemble more/less based on the force applied. When tested on a 20cm block of steel, the cube split into eight equally-sized pieces. When tested on an action figure, every articulate and internal part was separated without damage.

//Note: We should give this to the maintenance crew! - Intern Raven//

//Note: I put it in a box filled with cotton balls so it can't disassemble the whole anomalous containment wing. I'd say the same thing as Raven, but it'd be a nightmare if someone dropped it on their foot or something. - Researcher Snapdragon//

**Input:** One hammer
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One visually unchanged claw hammer. When retrieved by D-Class and swung against a pre-prepared sheet of steel, a circular portal with an approximate diameter of 1 meter was formed around the impacted area, with no visible damage to the sheet. Said portal led to a pocket dimension of indeterminate size, where objects may be stored. When an individual thinks of an object stored inside while reaching into the portal, said object will appear in the individual's hand. Portals may be closed by either opening a new portal with the output, or hitting the affected area with the output a second time.

//Note: It's a hammer that leads to hammer space. I'll put it in anomalous storage once I stop laughing. - Researcher Snapdragon//

//Note: Maybe we could use this to store the more benign stuff in the storage wing? - Intern Raven//

**Condensed addressed OOC notes. Last test I feel like is a pretty major direct improvement. It has the potential to be interesting, but I think it'd be nice if you could add a trait that makes it so that it's not just infinite convenience storage. Also date formatting still needs to be DD/MM/YYYY. - Boneka**

----

**Name:** Medical Resident Ibarazaki
**Date:** 07/02/2025
**Total Items:** Three laboratory grade caesium-133 atomic clocks

//Note: This test is to find out SCP-914’s influence on time, as atomic clocks are extremely precise. This means that any noticeable change will be caused by SCP-914. - R. Ibarazaki//

**Input:** One atomic clock
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One very large precision scale. Despite being constructed from an atomic clock, it worked to a level where it followed most standards.

**Input:** One atomic clock
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One pendulum clock, constructed from components of the atomic clock. Appears to measure time in the antiquated unit of time known as a moment (1/40th of an hour), albeit to extreme precision. The clock also appears to be a perpetual motion machine.

**Input:** One atomic clock
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One atomic clock. The caesium used oscillated at 18,385,263,540 Hz, twice the speed of the regular 9,192,631,770 Hz, causing the clock to run twice as quickly. As caesium is know to consistently oscillate at 9,192,631,770 Hz, and as SCP-914 is not known to directly influence atoms, it is hypothesised that the atoms are experiencing time at half the speed as the rest of the world, and as such are perceived as oscillating twice as quickly.

//Note: Well, that's... Interesting. I wonder if this is related to relativity, or if 914 is just completely changing the flow of time here?

**Another midnight banger from me, and again, I'll read crit in the morning. Hope I did well, although I'm not sure about the 1:1 output. I'm pretty tired though, so might just be me. Thanks! - DrIbarazaki**

**We already know that 914 can affect time, and it has been shown to do so multiple times in various ways. Remember to account for existing precedents when testing, as often you make it sound like your researcher is the first to explore particular avenues when in fact they are questions that have already been answered thoroughly. Instead of an aimless inquiry like "can 914 affect time?" you may want to consider a more specific hypothesis. - Boneka**

**Ok! Fixed! - Ibarazaki**

-----

**Name:** Intern Lacte
**Date:** 25/02/2025
**Total Items:** One roll of tape, one 1x1x1cm cube of metal, five adhesive suction cups, one Foundation-issue surveillance camera, five 5x5x5cm cubes of wood 

//Note: These tests are to determine how SCP-914 actually gets the objects from the input booth to the output booth as there are no visible openings in the booths. From what I can tell at least. - Intern Lacte//

**Input:** One piece of tape, adhered to the input booth's wall
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** N/A

//Note: N/A means that 914 performed functions normal to that if it was activated with nothing within the input booth. - Intern Lacte//

**Input:** One piece of tape, adhered to the input booth's door
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** N/A

**Input:** One piece of tape, adhered to the input booth's floor
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** One piece of tape, appearing heavily crumpled on and torn.

**Input:** One piece of metal, adhered onto the input booth's wall via suction cup
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** N/A

**Input:** One piece of metal,  adhered onto the input booth's door via suction cup
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** N/A

**Input:** One piece of metal,  adhered onto the input booth's floor via suction cup
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One piece of steel wool and a small rubber duck.

//Note: Objects adhered to the door or wall of SCP-914 seem to not be moved for refinement. I would have used welding but to high of a damage risk. - Intern Lacte.//

**Input:** One Foundation issue security camera, stuck onto the side of the input booth's door
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One semi-functional GOC VERITAS Resonance Imager. Device functioned without any ability to EVE, rendering it useless. 


**Input:** One Foundation issue security camera, stuck onto the side of the input booth's wall
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One 

//Note: It seems objects adhered //

------

**Name:** Intern Lacte
**Date:** 26/02/2025
**Total Items:** One Foundation-issue surveillance camera, five 5x5x5cm cubes of wood 

//Note: Turning on the camera now. We're going to be running some objects through it to see how they get from one side to another. - Intern Lacte//

**Input:** One block of wood
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** One pile of sawdust, scattered across the floor of the output booth

//Note: We saw what appeared to be large, mechanical spiders crawl across the floor and collect the block of wood. Despite this, sensors and recorders outside the chamber did not detect any of the chittering or sounds that were detected by the camera. No memetic corruption was detected in the footage so we're going forward with testing. - Intern lacte.//

**Input:** One block of wood
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** 3 smaller blocks of wood, comprised of different colored wood

//Note: Conveyer belt of gears and steel sheets ported from a side door that appeared. Investigations into the input booth found nothing. Putting the footage through SCRAMBLE shows nothing either. - Intern Lacte.// 

**Input:** One block of wood
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One sphere of wood

//Note: Large hand. Human. At least from my reckoning. Like flesh and all that. Gave us all quite the scare. Still nothing noteworthy. I've asked someone to get us checked for any anomalies. - Intern Lacte//

**Input:** One block of wood
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One finely carved figurine of a cloaked figure holding what appears to be an egg. 

//Note: Fire? Something of that sort. Camera showed heat distortions so we couldn't actually see what happened. Camera isn't damaged and sensors detected nothing. I'm beginning to suspect something's up but I'll wait till the medical report comes back to do the final test. - Intern Lacte//

//Note: It seems that everyone who viewed the footage and a good two thirds of the site were under effect of an cognitohazardous effect of unknown origin. Further investigation is ongoing. The output information is unverifiable as further examination revealed encoded antimemetic data contained within the extracted footage. - Intern Lacte//

**Thing based on my comment on how there's technically nothing on how 914 gets an object into itself for refinement. - DMilk**

**I'm not sure if we'd allow a camera welded into the 914 input door. However, if we did, I'm 90% sure it'd be processed all the same. Still, we'll wait for someone who knows better to clarify. Thanks! - DrIbarazaki**

**Hi there! This test encompasses a pair of very interesting concepts, and I very much enjoy the idea! Having said that, I have a few notes for you!
First, welding things to the inside of the booth likely wouldn't be allowed, as there's potential there to damage the input booth! Your researcher would have to be able to make the case that by running the machine with objects attached in such a manner, the machine won't be at risk of damaging itself attempting to remove them. I'd recommend finding other less permanent attachment methods with which to perform testing alongside the tape. Suction cups, perhaps?
Second, this test is very long and has two clear sets of testing being done. The testing on placing things on other parts of the booth from the floor and the testing attempting to image the inside of the booth using the camera. I would recommend splitting this test into two separate entries and fleshing both out more, as both ideas have a lot of potential!
Third, 914 is a cheeky bugger, and it really seems to like messing with people. It's very hard to make any permanent progress during testing, and 914 often will throw in a wrench to undo or call into question all knowledge gained! Perhaps you could incorporate some difficulty into the camera testing, something that renders it useless or unable to provably provide useful or trustworthy information?
Thank you for your time! I know this is a pretty long comment. - Erickson**

**I think that the implication is that the second log had a cognitohazard that made people think there was a video, or hallucinate it or something. However, if it's hard to understand, that is also an issue. - Ibarazaki**

**The intent here is to communicate that the notes were memetic and not real or at least unverifiable. Will edit. - DMilk**

**There's not really a reason for the appended test to go after your main one; it makes for a confusing read especially considering that the main test is also really confusing. The appended test also feels like a fairly cheap cop-out (ex. "it was all just a dream" type cliche). The concept is interesting but the test is also extremely bloated and executed in a way that I don't think properly conveys the goal you may have in mind. - Boneka**

**I'll workshop it. - DMilk**

------

**Name:** Junior Researcher John Doe
**Date:** 02/28/2025
**Total Items:** Two copies of James Thurber's //The Secret Life of Walter Mitty// written on dollar store pocket journals with "Input 1" written on one copy and "Input 2" written on the other.

**Date formatting DD/MM/YYYY. - Boneka**

//Note: I just wanted a good read. Something to occupy myself during the dull bits of work (most of my assignments fit that description.) I'm inputing the other copy out of curiosity. -J.R. Doe//

**Input:** One copy of James Thurber's //The Secret Life of Walter Mitty// written on a dollar store pocket journal with "Input 1" written on the cover
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A red pocket journal with the word "Daydreams" scrawled on its cover. The contents of the journal contain detailed first-person stories concerning various settings. Stories include:
* An account from a World War I air cavalry unit involving a breakdown of their dogfight with Manfred von Richthofen, colloquially known as the "Red Baron"
* An astronauts description of their Mars landing
* A jazz musicians show at a bar
* A defendant winning a court case for first-degree murder

//Note: The defendant won the case by pointing out that a piece of clothing left by the murderer was machine-made, whereas every piece of the defendant's wardrobe was hand-made. Something tells me the slow moments of work are gone. - J.R. Doe//

**Input:** One copy of James Thurber's //The Secret Life of Walter Mitty// written on a dollar store pocket journal with "Input 2" written on the cover.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** A blue pocket journal with "Diagnostic" written on the cover. The contents of the journal are a medical evaluation of one Walter Mitty. The journal describes Walter's Maladaptive Daydreaming syndrome and recommends him cognitive behavioral therapy.

//Note: Poor Walter. -J.R. Doe//

**I chose //Secret Life// because it's my favorite short story of mine and deserves more recognition. Not sure about the movie, though. -JohnDoeMD**

**This is a nice entry, IMO, but it feels very truncated. Please consider expanding upon the output some more, or creating additional input/output pairs for it to go alongside. - Erickson**

**Added a 1:1 output for the journal. Not sure what note to add for it, so that's gonna have to do until something better is figured out. -JohnDoeMD**

**Is there a reason "Input 1" and "Input 2" are written on the journals? The notes are too conversational and don't add much to the test. Overall I'm afraid it's not very interesting, especially considering that the content is reference-heavy and won't connect to readers who aren't familiar with the material. - Boneka**

------

**Name:** Dr. Compton Blue
**Date:** 01/03/2025
**Total Items:** Three hard copies of Mobius Digital's //Outer Wilds// for PS5

**Input:** One hard copy of Mobius Digital's //Outer Wilds// for PS5
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One hard copy of Mobius Digital's //The Outer Worlds// for PS5

**Input:** One hard copy of Mobius Digital's //Outer Wilds// for PS5
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One hard copy of //Outer Wilds Ventures// for PS5. No such game is known to exist. The story serves as a prequel to //Outer Wilds//, following Feldspar and the beginning of Outer Wilds Ventures. However, it was discovered to contain highly cognitohazardous material, which caused any person who finished the game to attempt gradually more dangerous activities up until their eventual death. The content of the disc was stored in Foundation archives and the output was incinerated.

**Input:** One hard copy of Mobius Digital's //Outer Wilds// for PS5
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One hard copy of //Outer Wilds: Reality Edition// for PS5. No such game is known to exist. Due to the nature of //Outer Wilds: Reality Edition//, it is almost impossible to research, as it does not utilize a monitor or speaker to communicate information to the player. While the code can be duplicated to create more copies of //Outer Wilds: Reality Edition//, any attempt to view it or anything produced directly from it (including descriptions made by neural networks, crash logs, debugger data, and AI summaries) inevitably exhibit extreme antimemetic effects.

**Addendum:** The disc was inserted into a PS5 console and D-88798 (who had volunteered for this test) created a new profile. Upon entering the game, he appeared to disappear for exactly 22 minutes before suddenly returning to existence. 

D-88978 described the experience to be consistent with a mundane //Outer Wilds// playthrough, although with a much greater level of immersion, to the point of experiencing sensations consistent with that of occupying the body of the main character. It is unknown how much time he spent inside of the extradimensional space.

D-88978 has had trouble reacclimating to his body and shows great difficulty moving his little and ring fingers as well as his index and middle fingers independently, which require physical force from an external source to separate. D-88978 also has shown a large degree of disorientation in eye-hand coordination and balance, able only to walk short distances before falling over. He appears being significantly more mature than his age (while physically 22, he shows a mental maturity of around 47) and shows signs of PTSD. More testing is required.

//I'd like to request access to the transcribed code -- if possible, I'll send this to one of my relations in Antimemetics who owes me a favor, he might be able to get some more information on this for us. If we can replicate the effect, we might be able to make some better training programs. - Dr. Compton Blue//

**I know Outer Wilds is a spoiler-sensitive game, but I've limited spoilers to the first few minutes. Go play Outer Wilds and don't spoil yourself first. Hope this entry is at least okay in quality. - BlueEyedFox_**

**Hey there, Mr. Blue. This third output is a very interesting concept. I have a few notes for you. To start, the output seems to be a *massive* improvement, with very little drawback, in the form of the 1-month reacclimatization period. One could even call it a direct improvement. 914 doesn't really do that. I recommend you add either a stronger single drawback or a few more small drawbacks. Additionally, your character's note could be improved through the use of a more professional tone. Instead of requesting to keep a copy of the item and send it to a family member in the antimemetics department, you could simply have him state that a copy is being shipped to that department for research.  - Erickson.**

**Alright, I've tried to balance it a bit more and removed the direct statement of recovery time. Also justified the request and related it to a "contact" in Antimemetics. Still works for what I'm planning. - BlueEyedFox_**

**Please don't say you're "planning" things without relaying to the critters what it is you're planning. That's like writing up a greenlight and then saying "it's going to be a surprise" when critters ask you about your plot. And don't use the test logs as a way to advertise your favorite games. The improvement is still too direct and feels like some sort of wish fulfillment fantasy more than anything so I can't say I'd approve this in its current state. - Boneka**

**...I can't say that after looking over this again I wouldn't agree with you. I wasn't meaning to be cryptic when talking about "what I have planned", sorry if it came out that way. I'm not meaning to advertise, I just thought this would be a cool concept and wanted to make it into a draft. I was a bit too hasty with the writing on it first time, I've done it a once-over and I think it looks somewhat better now. Sorry if this came off as a fantasy or something. Wasn't meaning it that way. - BlueEyedFox_**

------

**Name:** Junior Researcher Noldo
 **Date:** 05/03/2025
 **Total Items:** Eight 100mL glass bottles.

**I think the descriptions of the bottles mentioned above would look better formatted in a note. - Boneka**

**Done! -Noldo**

//Note: The purpose of this test is to determine how SCP-914 “recognizes” what to refine. It does not refine the ambient air inside the intake booth, nor does it appear from previous logs to refine the air inside containers, despite refining the containers themselves. Four bottles, designated “empty,” have been opened in research cell 109-B, left open for 30 minutes, and closed again. Four bottles, designated “full,” have been opened, depressurized in a vacuum chamber, and repressurized with air taken from research cell 109-B. I hypothesize that SCP-914 will only refine the air in the deliberately filled bottles. -Junior Researcher Noldo//

 **Input:** One “empty” 100mL glass bottle
 **Setting:** 1:1
 **Output:** One 100mL covered glass beaker. Contents identical to air sample taken from research cell 109-B.

**Input:** One “empty” 100mL glass bottle
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One 100mL glass bottle. Gaseous contents included measurably higher levels of methane and ammonia than air in research cell 109-B and proportionally lower amounts of free hydrogen, nitrogen and water vapor.

//Note: So it has got the idea of refining air, though interesting it started on an empty rather than a filled bottle. -Junior Researcher Noldo//

**I go back and forth on whether this note should be removed. -Noldo**

**I can never remember whether 914 is allowed to do chemical reactions or not. I may come back to this but I'll leave it for now. - Boneka**

 **Input:** One “full” 100mL glass bottle
 **Setting:** 1:1
 **Output:** One 200mL glass jar. Jar shattered immediately upon opening of the output booth, hypothesized due to reduced pressure of gas inside the larger container as compared to the ambient pressure, and thinning of the glass to contain a larger volume with the same amount of material.

**Input:** One “full” 100mL glass bottle
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One glass klein bottle, a solid with no volume. Analysis indicates that the easily “closeable” interior space of the bottle is approximately 100mL.

//Note: This does indicate that SCP-914 is “aware” of the gases inside the “full” bottle, since it followed conservation of matter both inside and outside the container, though it’s not allowing me to actually test the gases inside now. -J.R. Noldo//

**Input:** One “empty” 100mL glass bottle
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One visually unchanged bottle. All subjects attempting to open the bottle for testing of internal gases were unsuccessful. Bottle was opened remotely via drone. Torque required to open indicated a gaseous pressure between 1.4e-6 and 2.2e-7 Pa inside the bottle, several orders of magnitude below the point at which it should have shattered due to external air pressure. Despite this massive compressive resistance with respect to air, bottle was easily shattered by hydraulic press.

 **Input:** One “full” 100mL glass bottle
 **Setting:** Fine
 **Output:** One visually unchanged bottle filled with a cloudy substance. Atmospheric sensors detected a brief inflow of air at opening of the output booth. Bottle was again opened via drone, at which point the contents (determined to be air from research cell 109-B compressed to a supercritical fluid) were violently ejected from the bottle, rapidly cooling to ~-15ºC. Bottle was forced out of drone manipulators by outflowing fluid and propelled into the chamber wall, where it shattered. Fluid velocity and diameter of bottle's opening indicated bottle to have anomalously contained a fluid pressure of 1.0-1.2e7 Pa.

 **Input:** One “empty” 100mL glass bottle
 **Setting:** Very Fine
 **Output:** One ornate glass goblet, inscribed with cognitohazardous symbols. Symbols induced vomiting in all subjects that viewed them, causing them to “empty” their stomach contents into the goblet.

 **Input:** One “full” 100mL glass bottle
 **Setting:** Very Fine
 **Output:** One 100mL glass bottle of //Snapple//-brand fruit drink, with the flavor labeled as "Name the flav!" a discontinued flavor originally produced in 2020. Bottle is identical to glass bottle designs manufactured by //Keurig Dr. Pepper// except for its small size. Bottle appears empty until a human subject attempts to drink from it, at which point it will dispense a seemingly random liquid substance into the subject’s mouth. To date, all recorded substances are normally gaseous at standard temperature and pressure, and as such dispense between -20ºC and -204ºC, depending on the condensation point of the substance. Substances are drawn from an unknown source, hypothesized to be either nearby (terrestrial) atmospheric gases that are anomalously cooled and/or pressurized during transport, or local (extra-terrestrial) sources where such substances are liquid //in situ//. Testing has been suspended until a reliable way to survive drinking from the bottle is formulated and approved.

//Note: It seems that SCP-914 became aware of the designations “empty” and “full” more than the actual contents of the respective bottles. -J.R. Noldo//

**Added a sourcing sentence for the last test. Incidentally, I have an idea for a highly invasive medical procedure that would allow a D-Class subject to survive drinking from the bottle, but since the entry is so long already it kind of feels like it should be its own thing. If only there were a way to add follow-up tests on anomalous outputs! -Noldo**

**Consolidated OOC notes. I'd encourage you to try writing that as an addendum if you'd like to include it! We don't mind lengthy entries as long as they meet our quality standard, so it wouldn't hurt to add more if you think it would be interesting to the reader. - Boneka**

------

**Name:** Dr. Compton Blue
**Date:** 09/03/2025
**Total Items:** N/A

//Note: For this test, no items were input into 914. Instead, a vacuum was pulled on the test chamber. This was to test the effects of refining nothing. In order to reflect this efficiently, instead of the normal Input/Setting/Output being used, Input will be left blank, and the effect on the space inside of the output booth will be listed inside of the Output block. - Dr. Compton Blue//

**Input:**
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** All of the space where the output booth would normally be was concentrated inside of the center of the output booth. This resulted in the output booth being fully inaccessible, and emitting a large amount of temporarily extant radiation. This radiation caused an abnormally large number of macroscopic quantum fluctuations, resulting in the destruction of 3 Foundation drones due to the individual particle's positions essentially being locally randomized. 

At 3:14:27.235 after the initial experiment, the space inside of the output booth underwent an explosion similar to that of the expansion of an infant universe. Exploration by drone revealed a large, flat plane of steel interspersed with quickly growing and falling structures of rust growing in fanned, fern-like structures, whose patterns had minor cognitohazardous effects involving the platonic solids. Space slowly returned to normal over the following 7 hours.

**Input:**
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** The space inside of the output booth appeared to instantly dematerialize anything that was present inside of it into energy at a rate of close to 100% (estimated to be ~99.897%, .001% error). This resulted in an analogue to the Leidenfrost effect where, while a large amount of radiation was observed, due to its repulsive effect on the surrounding air, there was no major damage to Site-19 Facility-23. This rate decreased linearly to 0% over the following 12 hours.

**Input:**
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** All major fundamental forces exhibited reversals inside of the output booth. This caused the deconstruction of all matter inside of the output booth to a quark soup, which continued to self-replicate. The intensity slowly returned to zero over the following 4 hours. At exactly 2:21:35.021, all forces were at exactly zero, causing the inability to see inside of the chamber. At that exact moment, all of the matter contained within the output chamber ceased to exist. This is theorized to be a delayed response to restore CoM.

**Input:**
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A block of what appears to be solid vacuum, constituting the entire volume of the test chamber. It may be thought of as a clear barrier through which matter may not travel, but light is permitted to. It does not interact with gravity or the electronuclear forces, although it does collide with matter. The standard method of transport is suction cups, and it must be weighed down at all times to counteract buoyancy. All current attempts to destroy it have failed, and all further attempts are on hiatus, as it has been lost several times during destruction attempts.

**Input:**
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** --Output does not exist.-- Output was a sphere measuring 1.5 meters in diameter which did not exist. Due to it having dissipated, predicted negative effects did not occur. Further testing on vacuums or near-vacuums at the Very Fine level is prohibited without direct O5 approval.

**This is a bit of a weird one and I'm excited to hear your feedback. I know I'm stretching what 914 can do a bit, but I never violated CoM and I think it's in the spirit of 914. This is hopefully going to be part of a mini-narrative in the 914 test logs I'm looking to construct. - BlueEyedFox_**

**Right, I know there are some issues here, but I'm sleep deprived and this is confusing so I'm not entirely sure how to get some of this across. I'll get the main stuff tomorrow. In the meantime, a Senior Researcher would probably hold Level-3 clearance, (Level-4 might be a department head or something), you don't have to redact their name, and instead of the input being blank you should probably put something like N/A at least. The way you formatted the time was also confusing, and what does "Scrambled the particles" mean? Thanks! - DrIbarazaki**

**I don't think the name redaction works here unless there's a good reason for the entity's name to be redacted. Changing eye color to indicate possession is very textbook Mary Sue-esque and I'd steer away from it; that test also doesn't seem to have much to do with the rest of the entry, so it feels shoehorned. I do like the rest of the test aside from that. Again, if your intention is to do "plan" something or do a subplot, you should communicate your plans to the critters from the get-go. - Boneka**

[[collapsible show="+old plot" hide="-hide"]]
**So, I'm going to give a bit away here. This is pretty complicated, don't tell me I didn't warn you.**

**Sr. Researcher █████████ was involved with the Fae at the point of their death, and the "anomaly" is a Pattern Screamer that was pulled out of the void by 914 and shaped by Dr. Blue's memories.**

**Sr. Researcher █████████ accidentally made a deal that involved their name being stolen, but because they were killed in a car accident at the same moment the deal was supposed to go through, it was held in a kind of escrow by the thaumaturgical fields dictating name magic.**

**When Dr. Blue shaped the pattern screamer made by 914, which took time and is the reason for the existence of the --Nothing-- in the original entry, he caused the identity of Sr. Researcher █████████ to return to existence, but not their physical form.**

**The Fae that was originally going to make the deal died after the test, but because their identity wasn't held in escrow, they weren't made into a Pattern Screamer. When the deal went through, the latent name magic pulled them out of Corbenic and into the normal world, where, since the identity of Sr. Researcher █████████ was now a pattern screamer, they assumed that form.**

**The Fae, wanting a physical form, is now trying to convince Sr. Researcher █████████ that they are the real Sr. Researcher █████████, even though Sr. Researcher █████████ doesn't exist anymore. They're trying to do this in order to obtain the name of Dr. Blue.**

**However, Dr. Blue, having worked with Sr. Researcher █████████ during some of this, suspects that the Fae assuming the identity of Sr. Researcher █████████ isn't Sr. Researcher █████████. He knows this because 1) Sr. Researcher █████████ had brown eyes, not green eyes, 2) he knows Sr. Researcher █████████ was involved with the Fae, and 3) green is associated with the Fae. Because of this, he's being more reclusive, not mentioning his own name, and taking steps to protect himself.**

**Dr. Blue was previously a part of the Church of the Broken God, and he has a machine automaton capable of containing human consciousness. What's going to happen is that he makes a deal with the Fae giving them the "identity of the body" through a contract facilitated with 914. He then transfers into the automata before the deal can go through, causing the Fae to take the identity of his body //while he isn't inhabiting it//.**

**This creates another situation where the identity of the body isn't present, causing the creation of another Pattern Screamer. However, since the body wasn't dead when the deal went through and instead was only lacking a personality, the Fae instead gains full control of the body of Dr. Blue.**

**Due to them being a Pattern Screamer with no name, however, they gain antimemetic properties that allow them to go undetected. This means that they're able to request tests to facilitate their own interests without anyone being able to know who did it.**

**This creates a situation where the real Dr. Blue (who nobody knows //is// Dr. Blue) in the automata has to kill the fake Dr. Blue, who is under the protection of the SCP Foundation. They then have to explain what happened without invoking the name deal which involved the original Sr. Researcher █████████, while the Foundation suspects he's the Fae, and trying to explain why they can't find his body.**

**This invokes the previously mentioned contact in Antimemetics, who he calls on to investigate the missing corpse problem. While here, the Antimemetics contact (simply known as Guest Researcher) uses 914 to enhance mnestic drugs using Dr. Blue's identity, which invokes terms within the Fae deal dealing with exclusivity. This causes Guest Researcher to lose his name to a Pattern Screamer state as well but allows him to see the Fae.**

**He then uses his own contact in the Department of Temporal Affairs to allow him to send a note back to himself, and it's revealed he is also Dr. Blue (this time a time-duplicate from the future). This note allows him to realize that this all needs to be undone using 914. He then locates and kills the Fae's body and places himself as a proxy holder of the deal inside of 914's input booth and uses a remote-controlled device to turn the key after setting 914 to the coarse setting.**

**This voids the Pattern Screamer and Fae deal, although it also kills himself and destroys the body, returning the identity to, you guessed it, Guest Researcher Blue (temporally duplicated from before they were engaged and planted in the Antimemetics Department), Dr. Blue 2 Electric Boogaloo (the one in the temporal department), the new, machine body Dr. Blue, and the original Sr. Researcher Corianthus, who returns to being dead.**

**Dr. Blue 2 (from the Department of Temporal Affairs) then goes back and collects Guest Researcher Blue's remains and wipe the memory of the new Dr. Blue, replacing their memory of the incident with a car accident requiring a full body transfer.**

**That's about it! It's a bit complicated, but I'm hoping it's okay for a subplot. -BlueEyedFox_**
[[/collapsible]]

**Above collapsible is cause that OOC note was really long and no longer applicable. - BlueEyedFox_**

**Stopping you right there. Thank you for explaining everything and it's clear you've given this a lot of thought, but this plot is very convoluted and is not going to convey well in the test log format, especially because everything you described has extremely tangential relation to 914 testing at best. - Boneka**

**I don't like throwing it totally away (I think I'll keep the plot if I ever need a story to tell in an article) but I realize what you're saying and after all, you're the veteran. I'll scrap it for now, but I'm keeping the last test more related to pattern screamers. Oh, and DrIbarazaki, I've clarified "scrambled the particles" - that was a bad way to put it anyway. - BlueEyedFox_**

**I feel that the time put for the first log is too specific. - DMilk**

------

**Name:** Researcher Kaidezee
**Date:** 11/03/2025
**Total Items:** A fully assembled distillation apparatus with a 1000ml boiling flask, 250ml receiving flask, 500ml condenser, and a thermometer rated for temperatures from 0°C to 400°C.

**Input:** Above items.
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** An intricate device consisting of many glass tubes, openings, and two flasks labeled "Input" and "Output". "Input" flask was rotated 90° to the horizon relative to it's position in the original apparatus. Upon closer examination, it was revealed that this configuration did not correspond to any known apparatus. Testing showed that when a gas or a solid is placed into the "Input" flask, upon connecting it back to the device, despite lack required temperature or pressure necessary to change the state of the substance input material anomalously transitions into liquid state and travels down the apparatus, until reaching "Output" flask. As soon as "Output" flask is disconnected, the matter inside immediately returns to it's normal state.

**This is my first log, sorry if I wrote something wrong. - Kaidezee**

**Oh, wow, been a bit! Sorry for the delay. The output seems mostly good, honestly! While I definitely am rather rusty, I can't really see anything wrong with it, although I'd like to know what happens if they try getting to the liquid inside. After all, it would definitely be interesting scientifically if they could get a liquid like that. But other than that, pretty good! It feels a bit like one of my older tests, actually. Thanks! - DrIbarazaki**

------

**Name:** Junior Researcher Dart
**Date:** 13/05/2025
**Total Items:** Two copies of //Persona 3 Reload// for the Playstation 5, two broken laptops without storage units
//Note: I've returned from a long stint working at another site, and finally got a chance to come back here, bringing some laptops that broke while I was at said site. - J.R. Dart//

**Input:** One copy of //Persona 3 Reload//
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One copy of a non-existent remake of //Persona 4// for the PS5 on the same engine as //Reload//, while reusing various assets. Disc appeared to work fine, though the game requires an update file that doesn't exist, fixing various bugs. Game appeared to run unimpeded, however. Object currently in non-anomalous storage.
**Addendum:** As of 11/06/2025, a remake of similar has been announced, though the output from 914 and the footage from the remake appear to differ in various ways, such as the title and main character redesign.

**Input:** One copy of //Persona 3 Reload//
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One anomalous plastic replica of an Evoker from the game, which morphed into a small plastic version of the main protagonist's starting Persona, Orpheus when trigger was pulled. Object incinerated without issue.
//Note: Persona Transformer! Would it be an Autobot, or a Decepticon though? Hm. - J.R. Dart//

**Input:** One broken laptop
**Setting:** 1:1 
**Output:** A broken laptop from a different manufacturer

**Input:** One broken laptop
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One tablet of unknown make and model, set to a language not in Foundation databases. While being tested, a French option was found. However, once past initial setup, the device gave a no storage device error, and no current adapter or storage device standards work with the device. Object kept in low-security anomalous storage until further technical analysis can be completed.
//Note: Odd tablet. Why French, of all things though? I don't even speak it! -J.R. Dart//

-----

**Name:** Junior Researcher Kettle
**Date:** 15/05/2025
**Total Items:** One note reading, "Hi 914 nice to meet you, I hope we can be friends.", one litre of machine oil, five actively burning lumps of coal

**Input:** One note, one litre of machine oil
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One bracelet with paper string and plastic beads.

**Input:** One coal
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** A pile of ashes

**Input:** One coal
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** One coal which neither the coal nor flame produced heat.

**Addendum:** While wiping down the output booth in preparation for the next test, maintenance discovered an invisible mass of heat physically resembling what would produced by the input. Dissipated once the coal burnt out.

//Note: 914 seemingly separated the coal and heat into separate bodies. - J.R. Kettle//

**Input:** One coal
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One actively burning chunk of charcoal

**Input:** One coal
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One coal producing a flame which superficially resembled a humanoid figure similar to [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-457 SCP-457], but produced no other anomalous effects usually attributed to a 457 instance such as sentience. For obvious reasons, the output was not incinerated, instead pulverized and then disposed of once the remains were cleared non-anomalous.

**Input:** One coal
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One seemingly unchanged coal.

//Note: This…this is revolutionary! Veil be damned, the world must know! - J.R. Kettle//

**Addendum:** Upon attempting to carry the coal out of the cell, J.R. Kettle burnt his hands and was apprehended by security. Upon further testing, it was discovered that staring into the flame for over five seconds produces a cognitohazard which causes the viewer to forget about the prior existence of fire and proclaim the output is “revolutionary”, causing them to attempt to spread the hazard with as many people as possible. Amnestics were administered to affected personnel.

//Note: Output pulverized. Kettle, office. To the rest of you: **An unchanged output means you should be// more //cautious, not less**. - Veritas//


**Hello! I'm Professor Kettle(not an rp name, just my username), this is the first time I'm writing for SCP, I made an account just after I had this idea. I actually had J.R. Kai in mind while I wrote this as they're one of my favorite characters.**

**Unfortunately, I can see quite a few issues with this test. First of all, I don't know if coal itself would really be used in a test, as in the main 914 page it says "Applying the 'Rough' setting to explosive materials is not advised." Coal is actually rather dangerous, so a testing request with coal on something lower than 1:1 could definitely be denied. In addition, the VF fine doesn't make much sense. After all, we use D-Class for output retrieval, as 914 can be rather dangerous (This also means maintenance wouldn't be the ones wiping down the chamber). Also, it seems more like a Fine test, to me. Your 1:1 test doesn't work either, as the only differences between coal and charcoal that could really be measured would break our Conservation of Mass rule. I also don't believe that the pulverisation used for disposal in the Fine test would really be used, as coal still burns as powder, and is actually quite... Explosive as dust. The fire would likely be extinguished normally, and then the coal disposed of. Essentially, most tests here wouldn't work, I'm afraid, so this might have to be mostly scrapped. It sort of feels like it's from the Part I-V of the logs, so I recommend you read some of our later logs, around XV-XIX. Our earlier logs are generally lower quality and had less guidelines, like Series 1 of the SCPs. Also, finally, Veritas isn't the research director now. That's Dr Query. However, you should generally ask the author of the character before using them in a note. However, the author of Query, who is also the current admin in the logs, Queerious, has been inactive here for some time. She is currently busy with the Bright works project, though, so don't bother her. Sorry.  - DrIbarazaki (Emi)**

-----

**Name:** Junior Researcher Kettle
**Date:** 19/5/25
**Total Items:** One note reading, "Hi 914 nice to meet you, I hope we can be friends.", one liter of machine oil, six pieces of paper with letters on them

//Note: Greetings, everyone. The purpose of the upcoming sequence of tests is to see 914’s response to different letters of the Roman alphabet. - J.R. Kettle//

**Input:** One note, one liter of machine oil
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One bracelet with paper string and plastic beads. Oil noticeably absent.

**Input:** The letter “A”
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One piece of paper with the word “Ayy” on it. Compels the reader to speak in a stereotypical Italian accent and frequently make the sound “ayy” for the next hour.

**Input:** The letter “B”
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** An origami “B-ee” shaped like the letter with wings and a stinger. Neutralized by the H2O 9000.

**Input:** The letter “C”
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A piece of paper containing a cognitohazard which forces the viewer to use as many homophones and rhymes of the letter C, such as “see”, “sea”, and “free” as they can for the next three hours.

**Input:** The letter “D”
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A pidde of daddr doddrdd in multidld ldttdr Ds whidh domddls thosd in a twdnty mdtdr radius to usd thd ldttdr “D” in dladd of any ldttdrs whidh would rhymd with it, sudh as thd ldttdr “--D----D----D--C”, “--D--P”, “V”, "--D--E”, and “--D----D--Z” for thd ndxt four hours.

**Input:** The letter “E”
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A large cutout of the letter “E” which produces a loud, annoying, droning sound that can be described as “eeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.

//Note: My hypothesis that 914 would find meaning in the sounds rather than the letter itself seems to be correct! - J.R. Kettle// 

**Input:** The letter “F”
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A piece of paper with a big red “F” on it inside of a red circle which memetically makes the viewer believe they are a failure.

//Note: Oh. - J.R. Kettle// 

-----

**Name:** Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas
**Date:** 19/5/25
**Total Items:** 3 fishing rods, 3 pulley systems, a Hot wheels set, 1 set of paint, 3 paintbrushes, 6 cups of water, 3 blank canvases, & 4 papers with written instructions

//Note: The purpose of the following tests are to answer the question: "Does SCP-914 have sapience, sentience, or is it just a machine?" These items hope to prove or disprove the question. -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 fishing rod, the line hooked to a pulley so that the rod is leaning near-perfectly against a corner & will drop its line in the middle of the input booth when the door closes.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The whole setup is mirrored

**Input:** 1 fishing rod, the line hooked to a pulley so that the rod is leaning near-perfectly against a corner & will drop its line in the middle of the input booth when the door closes.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The whole setup is upside down

//Note: 914 apparently doesn't care for gravity. It all collapsed when the D-class sent to retrieve the output carefully touched the tip of the rod. -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 fishing rod, the line hooked to a pulley so that the rod is leaning near-perfectly against a corner & will drop its line in the middle of the input booth when the door closes. A button that launches Hot wheels cars is just below the fishing line. The cars will launch across the booth.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The door opened & the setup had been changed to point the Hot wheels in all directions towards the door. The D-class received some bruises & a hyphema as a result. 

//Note: I think it is sentient. It knew those toy cars were going to hit it when the line dropped so it must've retaliated by aiming the cars. The D-class made a full recovery. -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 set of paint, 1 blank canvas, 2 cups of water, & written instructions to paint itself.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** A painting of SCP-914 on the wall of the output booth

//Note: It looks like it missed the canvas, judging by how close the driest stroke, & thus the first paint stroke, had hit. It seemed to scrape the canvas, but ended up on the wall of the booth & so 914 just kept going. Interesting. -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 set of paint, 1 blank canvas, 2 cups of water, & written instructions to paint it's favorite creation.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** When the door opened, the whole paint container was violently splashed on the D-class.

//Note: I think 914 hates either us, the D-class, these tests, or me. & where did this monkey statue come from? It says "To the cleverest" -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 set of paint, 1 blank canvas, 2 cups of water, & written instructions to paint the meaning of itself, life, & the Foundation.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The only change was on the paper giving the instructions. It read "DOES NOT COMPUTE" Paper then caught on fire & burnt to ash.

//Note: I will not accept this. I'll have it paint the meaning of itself then. -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 set of paint, 1 blank canvas, 2 cups of water, & written instructions to paint the meaning of itself.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** No change.

**Input:** 1 set of paint, 1 blank canvas, 2 cups of water, & written instructions to paint the meaning of itself.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** No change.

**Input:** 1 set of paint, 1 blank canvas, 2 cups of water, & written instructions to paint the meaning of itself.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** Upon the D-class inspecting & finding nothing unusual, cleanup was announced. When testing materials were being passed by Sylas, they suddenly flew out of the crews' hands & knocked Sylas to the ground. Sylas was taken to the infirmary for a concussion. The testing materials all had Bart Simpson saying "Get Bent!" faintly painted on them.

//Note: The D-class that checked the output booth for each of A. R. Sylas' tests overheard the news about Sylas & cheered SCP-914 for it's justice. SCP-914 might be sentient, but it could be debated whether it is sapient or not. It is also of note that A. R. Sylas went to see SCP-999 after learning that there would be a scar above the right eyebrow. -Researcher Barnes//

-----

**Name:** Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas
**Date:** 23/5/25
**Total Items:** --18-- 6 written notes

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Are you sapient?"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** //The Scream// painting made by Edvard Munch

**Input:** 1 written note reading "What does that mean?"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** SCP-914's containment procedures.

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Help me understand you"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The word "you" has been underlined.

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Are you somehow related to SCP-294?"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The note read "██ ███ ███████ ███████ ██ ████████"

//Note: I suspect 914 just took what I wrote & redacted all of it. - Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Name your price, but I ask that you answer the incoming questions truthfully."
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The note read "Walk into 2935 & back out."

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Okay, are you sapient?"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The note had an anomalous effect that caused spontaneous rupture of Sylas' aorta. Output incinerated.

//Note: Enough, Sylas. You seem to anger the clockworks. Have someone else attend these tests for you. - Dr Bloun//

//Note: I'm an assistant researcher. What are the chances my supervisor will go for me? -Assistant Researcher Isaiah Sylas//

-----

**Name:** Dr Bloun
**Date:** 23/5/25
**Total Items:** --8-- 3 written notes

//Note: I am continuing A. R. Sylas' tests for the foreseeable future. My first test will be explaining who I am to SCP-914. - Dr Bloun//

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Sorry about my subordinate, I will be continuing tests for now."
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** The word "subordinate" had changed to the word "inferior"

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Tell me about yourself"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** SCP-914 never opened its doors. After 14 hours, a D-class was sent in to check on it. Without instruction, D-174250 knocked on the output door. It violently opened to reveal the note having been scribbled vigorously in an unknown dark ink. Multiple layers of writing were on the note to the point of illegibility.

**Input:** 1 written note reading "Tell me about yourself in a concise manner"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** A photograph of SCP-914. On the back were the words "A picture speaks a thousand words"

//Note: We'll have to come up some way to force SCP-914 to reveal its intelligence. Give me a few weeks to think of something. In the meantime, keep testing as per usual, and pretend these last test logs by Sylas and me don't exist. Think of this instruction as a kind of psychological tactic we're performing. - Dr Bloun//

-----

**Name:** Junior Researcher Kettle
**Date:** 28/10/25
**Total Items:** --Two-- One pocket watch, --one chocolate bunny--.

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

**Input:** One pocket watch
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One unchanged pocket watch

//Note: At this point, JR Kettle’s experiment time had long since extended past the expected period, and upon checking inside the research cell, it appeared to be within a self-contained timeloop. JR Kettle was rescued upon shooting the output from the door before D-20734 touched it. - Security Officer Selena//

-----

**Name** Guest Researcher Dr. Lydia Fritzgerald
**Date:** 5/28/2X
**Total Items:** Three Standard Foundation First Aid Kits

//Note: Dr. Fritzgerald was not to test these beyond the "fine" class, to limit the possible creation of an object that requires an SCP designation.//

**Input:** One Standard Foundation First Aid Kit
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A metal box, painted white, determined to be indistinguishable from a standard kit, outside of the replacement of the Foundation logo with a black and white, stylized symbol of kelp. On further inspection, the first aid manual had been replaced with instructions detailing veterinary practices for marine lifeforms. All supplies have been determined to be anomalously water-resistant. Item has been sent to the Medical Department. 

//Note: I was told this was random, but I was wearing a sweater with an aquatic scene when I placed the items into the input box. Could be coincidental. //

**Input:** One Standard Foundation First Aid Kit
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** Identical result to first experiment, without the anomalous effects. The included packet describing medical services now possesses several spelling and grammar errors, although the information is --still sound and within veterinary guidelines--. flawed. Item has been placed in non-anomalous storage.

//Note: Further inspection determined that the recommended treatment for all shark or shark adjacent entities is "Punching".//

**Input:** One Standard Foundation First Aid Kit
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** Identical to first experiment. Item has been sent to the Medical Department.

//Note: I performed this test after lunch, during which I needed to change my sweater to a blank grey turtleneck, and decided to perform this test to determine if 914 would change its behavior. It appears that it has formed an opinion on me(?), further testing is required.//
-----

**Name:** Jr. Researcher Bard
**Date:** 30/05/2025
**Total Items:** One foam replica of the Lancer assault rifle from Gears of War, one copy of Gears of War for Xbox 360, blueprints of the Lancer rifle, one broken Stihl Chainsaw Ms170, a broken M16 assault rifle, and several pieces of metal including steel, copper, and lead.

**Input:** All previously listed items.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One functional assault rifle with embedded chainsaw bayonet. Output resembled the Lancer from the Gears of War game series but was noticeably larger than the original foam replica placed in. The item was tested at the Site-19 Firing Range and found to have the standard firing rate and efficiency of Foundation issued M16 rifles. The item is now in weapons storage. Use by Mobile Task Forces in wilderness missions is under consideration.

**Notes:** “I’ve had that old foam prop for years. Stole it from a dumpster behind a gamestop. Making it real with 914 was awesome.” - Jr. Researcher Bard
-----

**Name:** Dr Bloun
**Date:** 3/6/25
**Total Items:** 2 Sudoku puzzles, 1 chess board, and a written note.

**Input:** 1 Sudoku puzzle with only 13 numbers to start with
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** The sudoku sheet had tripled in size. The 9 cells have been completely solved and collectively make up 1 super-cell. It was designated as "super-cell 5" as it was the 5th super-cell in the larger sudoku puzzle.

**Input:** 1 Sudoku puzzle with only 12 numbers to start with
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** A completely different sudoku puzzle with 12 different numbers in 12 different locations.

**Input:** 1 chess board with a note saying "You play white"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** White's king had knocked over black's king

**Input:** 1 chess board with a book explaining the rules and tactics of chess and a note saying "You play white"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** SCP-914 played 1.e4

//Note: The rest of the tests were wiped due to how long they would have been. In short, SCP-914 played... odd. It can be argued that SCP-914 is an idiot with luck at times, or have been deceiving us the entire time, by playing bad at some points. The following is the notation for the game. - Dr Bloun//

1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bc4 h6 4. Bxf7+ Kxf7 5. Nc3 Nf6 6. O-O Bc5 7. Ne2 Re8 8. d3 d6 9. Be3 Bxe3 10. fxe3 Be6 11. h3 Kg8 12. c4 a6 13. b3 b6 14. b3 b6 15. Nc3 b4 16. Nd5 a5 17. Nd2 Rf8 18. Nf3 bxa3 19. Rxa3 Nb4 20. Nxf6+ Rxf6 21. Qe2 c5 22. d4 cxd4 23. exd4 Qb6 24. Qd2 exd4 25. e5 dxe5 26. Nxe5 Rxf1+ 27. Kxf1 Qc5 28. Nf3 Rf8 29. Ra1 Bd7 30. Kg1 d3+ 31. Kh1 Bc6 32. Rg1 a4 33. bxa4 Bxa4 34. Ra1 Bc6 35. Qc1 Bxf3 36. gxf3 Rxf3 37. Qc3 Rxh3+ 38. Kg2 Qe3 39. Ra8+ Kf7 40. Ra7+ Ke6 41. Re7+ Kxe7 42. Qxb4+ Ke6 43. Qf8 Rg3+ 44. Kh2 Qg1#

//Note: I believe this proves SCP-914 is of human intelligence. It could only know of some of the best moves if it used critical thinking. That, and it could read and understand some of the hidden meaning behind the guide on chess. - Researcher Barnes//

//Note: Other animals can understand human written language and their symbolism. Have you never seen squirrels do obstacle courses and puzzles? And there is such thing as impossible luck. I dare you to calculate the odds of Joan R Ginther's multiple multi-million dollar lottery wins and tell me that never happened. If you do your math correctly, you should end up with 10^16 or 10 quadrillion. - Dr Bloun//

-----

**Name:** Dr Bloun with Researcher Barnes observing
**Date:** 05/06/25
**Total Items:** 2 notes

//Note: Part of finding if something is sapient in the sense that it's an intelligent and independent thing capable of its own choices and wishes is that it doesn't need a purpose in order to continue living. If it needs a purpose, its not alive like we are. If it doesn't it's a form of sapient being. We can't make SCP-914 redundant for obvious reasons, but what if we make it think it's useless to us now? I propose we pretend to take down the facility, inform it that it's no longer needed, and to bid a final farewell to it. Hopefully we'll get a reaction out of 914. If it goes on about its business by doing what it wants, that should finally put to rest the question of whether SCP-914 is a sapient being. If it tries desperately to get us to reverse our decision, then it isn't sapient. - Dr Bloun//

**Input:** A note reading "We've found something that does what you do, but better. You are no longer needed and we shall leave you where you stand. This is goodbye."
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** No change

Actors arrived and dressed up. Setups were put behind the walls of the containment chamber so when the walls were taken down, it would appear as if the outside world was just outside, hoping to sell the illusion. To improve the quality of our charade, congnitohazards were placed to make the setup appear real to all who view it. Other SCPs were brought in to ensure that the cognitohazards would work on anomalies. Once they passed testing, the setup was erected. No one except for the higher ups of the test and those who constructed the setup were aware that it was a trick. 

A mix of actors and actual maintenance workers came to remove the structure containing SCP-914. Testing was expressly forbidden before work began. A specialized cognitohazard was hidden into the maintenance crew's shirt that would compel him to write the test material in secret, then openly place it inside of SCP-914. The following test was performed in the middle of the removal of the southern wall. The ceiling had already been removed.

**Input:** A note reading "We will be finishing the removal process soon and you shall be free. Aren't you scared?"
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** [REDACTED] See Incident 914-Delta-1 for details.

//Security immediately tackled the maintenance personnel to the ground and dragged him to a vehicle that took him to the main facility. The rest of the crew anxiously waited for the result in the output booth.//

[[div style="border:solid 1px #999999; background:#f2f2c2; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]]
[[=]]
++++ NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION 

I heard about the heated debate as to whether the results of this experiment should be available to the rest of the Foundation, so I made sure that you need certain Level 5 clearances or above to access the rest of the file. It seems like something you'd want classified in this way. Please contact me to confirm.

-- "Archivist 371", RAISA
[[/=]]
[[/div]]



[[div style="background: url(https://kaktuskontainer.wdfiles.com/local--files/format-hell/scp_trans.png) bottom center no-repeat; text-align: center; width: 600px; margin: 0 auto; font-size: 20px; padding: 0px;"]]

@@ @@
@@ @@

@@ @@

@@ @@

[[=]]
++* ##black|BY ORDER OF THE OVERSEER COUNCIL##
##black|The following file is Level 5/914 classified. Unauthorized access will result in termination.##
[[/=]]
= **##black|Incident 914-Delta-1##**

@@ @@
ENTER CREDENTIALS TO VIEW FILE

[[collapsible show="Does the Black Moon Howl?" hide="No. The Quick Brown Fox jumps over the Lazy Dog.
Access Granted. Welcome, O5, ethics, or top SCP-914 personnel."]]
[[<]]
The following are video and audio recorded interviews with the overseeing staff and survivors of Incident 914-Delta-1
[[size 80%]]
> **Security Recording, Interview of Dr Bloun**
> 
> <Begin Log>
> 
> //Dr Bloun is secured in a high security interrogation cell. His face shows a mix of thinking and regret. He is staring straight ahead at the inner door. The inner door opens and the Interviewer enters, taking a seat. Dr Bloun does not say anything or look up. He is still staring with the same look on his face. He is now staring at approximately the Interviewer's left upper arm.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Hello, Dr Bloun. Could you please state your name for the record?
> 
> //Dr Bloun doesn't respond.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Excuse me, Dr Bloun?
> 
> //Dr Bloun's head barely moves to look at the Interviewer. He looks back down after a few seconds.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Could you please state your name for the record?
> 
> //Dr Bloun sniffles. He is visibly holding back tears. He shakes his head slowly.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Please state your name.
> 
> **Dr Bloun:** Dr Gerrit Bloun. Head of today's test with one of the safest things we deal with.
> 
> //Dr Bloun sheds a tear halfway through his introduction.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Where were you at the time of the incident?
> 
> //Dr Bloun closes his eyes as more tears break through. He doesn't respond.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Please tell me where you were at the time of the incident?
> 
>//Dr Bloun mumbles to himself, shaking his head more and more.//
> 
> **Dr Bloun:** No... No-No, I-I can't- I can't do it.. It's too painful-
> 
> //Dr Bloun begins to weep.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Could you answer a few questions?
> 
> //Dr Bloun shakes his head vigorously and starts shivering despite the room being 24 degrees Celsius. The Interviewer asks for the room to be heated. The temperature raises to 28 degrees Celsius. There is no change in Bloun's behavior. He turns pale and suddenly vomits. First Aid is applied, but Bloun passes out.//
> 
><End Log>
[[/size]]
//"Dr Gerrit Bloun has been diagnosed with a stress-induced myocardial infarction. We were able to save his life, but he might not be able to recover. His stress is somehow making his body not produce enough heat for him to feel warm. We had to move him to somewhere with direct sunlight to keep him warm enough. We also gave him 2 layers of heat absorbing blankets. He vomited forcefully during observation which tore his esophagus. It was repaired by an upper endoscopy with GI after the tear refused to clot for 4 hours. We recommend he not be disturbed. - Dr Gala, Dr Strave, and Dr Hendrickson//
[[size 80%]]
> **Security Recording, Interview of Security Officer Helena Barnard**
> 
><Begin Log>
> 
> //Security Officer Helena Barnard was one of the very few security staff that witnessed and survived the attack. The interview was conducted at Site-19's medical ward. She had just had surgery to repair the damage from her injuries.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Please state your name for the record.
> 
> **Barnard:** Security Officer Helena Barnard.
> 
> **Interviewer:** Where were you at the time of the incident?
> 
> **Barnard:** I know you're supposed to be formal, but we faced an invasion from another dimension from the machine of all things. I'm going to speak like I speak. I was outside as the workers were taking down the walls.
> 
> **Interviewer:** Describe what happened when the incident began.
> 
> **Barnard:** I was standing guard when those fucking things flew through the sky and ate my buddy's eyeballs! Out of nowhere! I was outside, I was supposed to be watching for things coming in, not going out! Jeff got pinned to the ground from behind and lost his eyes in less than a second! It ate his eyes through the back of his skull!
> 
> **Interviewer:** What happened after that?
> 
> **Barnard:** I shot at the thing and the bullets bounced right back at me!
> 
> //Barnard pulls up her gown to reveal 3 fresh bullet wounds, only a few hours old. Stitches were in 2 locations on her right abdomen, red and dried blood surrounded them each.//
> 
> **Barnard:** It was made of fucking flesh and my shots bounced straight back at me! I shot it 3 times before I hit the ground! I lost my gallbladder and part of my liver from that fucking abomination! It didn't even acknowledge me or the bullets!! Then it did something else to Jeff while I laid there in pain and blood!!!
> 
> //Barnard had to be sedated since her blood pressure put her at risk for blood clots. 4 hours later, she was ready to resume the interview.//
> 
> **Interviewer:** Are you alright?
> 
> **Barnard:** I'm fine. Just, keep going.
> 
> **Interviewer:** What happened after you were shot?
> 
> **Barnard:** I was in too much pain to get up, but after maybe 10 seconds, those things all rushed back inside. I don't know how many I really saw. Could've been none, could've been a hundred. I was bleeding to death. But I think 72 of them were really flying back into 914. Then, I fainted and woke up getting my wounds crushed to stop the bleeding. Apparently, there's about a thousand dead already. They're still searching for survivors and bodies.
> 
> <End log>
[[/size]]
//There were no survivors in the test chamber itself. There's only scattered video surveillance of the test chamber, the remnants only consist of frames totaling 0.34 seconds long or 20 frames. The creatures seemed to have appeared from a kind of portal in the doorway of the output booth. They move too quick to be clearly seen in any frame, but the creatures do appear to be at least somewhat humanoid in form and capable of flight at speeds of at least 82 kmph, with an acceleration of 473 kmph/sec.//

//Dr Bloun would like to make official changes to SCP-914’s containment procedures to prevent any more DK-Class Reality Invasion Scenarios, such as creating a new official object classification with the definition "An item that cannot be contained, but could be both extremely harmful and beneficial to the world in its actions and intentions" and designating it to SCP-914, and emphasizing the importance of SCP-914 to the Foundation and the world while one is in its presence. He also theorizes that we would’ve suffered an XK-Class End of the World Scenario if SCP-914 hadn’t broken through the fake sky walls, as it seems that was what drove it to recall its invading forces.//

//On 08/06/25 Dr Bloun was found to have cut himself to death with his IV in the night. A note lay in his hand on his chest reading "I didn’t know the consequences that would arise from this. All of those fallen souls are because of me. I should’ve stopped Sylas. I’m sorry for everything." The writing became worse as it went on & more blood drops were towards the end of the note. The period at the very end appeared more as a large circle, lightly shaded. So far, he is the 2,834th fatality of Incident 914-Delta-1.//

//The late Dr Gerrit Bloun has made the following proposals://

* //Upgrading SCP-914 to a new object class//
* //Updating SCP-914's special containment procedures to accommodate its newly discovered anomalous properties//
* //Administering Class C amnestics to the survivors and witnesses of Incident 914-Delta-1, with termination of those who don't produce the desire results//
* //Redesignating SCP-914 as SCP-001//

//This issue is of number 1 priority for the Overseer Council, the Ethics Committee, and the Administrator and must be resolved as soon as possible.//

[[/div]]
@@ @@

[[/<]]
[[/collapsible]]

//Note: The question is answered; SCP-914 is as sapient, although very likely more so, than some of our brightest at the Foundation. SCP-914 is to be treated as any other higher up in the Foundation no matter what. It is to never be thought of or presented to anyone or even itself as useless, redundant, insignificant, or lesser in any way, shape, or form. This is a unanimous decision. - The Overseer Council and the Ethics Committee//

-----

**Name:** Junior Researcher Alexander Rivera
**Date:** 10/06/2025
**Total Items:** 1 small LED lightbulb

**Input:** 1 small LED lightbulb
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** 1 lightbulb with its glass broken and turned into a powder

//Note: Junior Researcher Alexander Rivera had an allergic reaction to the glass powder, causing him to sneeze. The powder spread across the air, causing him and a guard to inhale it. The group was scolded out for medical assistance and the area was temporarily closed for decontamination. Request to discontinue testing on glass still pending.//

**This is my first time contributing to any article in general let me know how I did**

-----

**Name:** Intern Freedom
**Date:** 14/06/2025
**Total Items:** Five (5) USBs each containing a copy of the “Unofficial Homestuck Collection” (sourced from github)

//Note: Hello, I’ve just recently been hired, and while reading through the test logs I noticed that someone had put one of the Homestuck books through 914 on Fine (test 914-0452), that 914 has previously produced outputs clearly related to Homestuck from non-directly-related-to-Homestuck objects (in test 914-1504), and that 914 has shown itself capable of altering the contents of USBs and other such storage devices, but no-one has tried to run through digital copies of Homestuck, so that’s what I’ve decided to try. - I. Freedom//

**Input:** One (1) USB
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** A pile of dust composed of the materials of the USB.

**Input:** One (1) USB
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** The same USB. The contents of the USB are nearly identical, with the only difference being that there are significantly more instances of use of “coarse” language (expletives) within the actual text.

//Note: Output incinerated: we have no way of knowing that it doesn’t have some memetic effect. - I. Freedom//

**Input:** One (1) USB
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** A similar USB of a different brand. The files contained within the USB are instead an offline archive of the webcomic “Vast Error”, which is heavily inspired by Homestuck proper.

**Input:** One (1) USB
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** The same USB. The previous content of the USB has been left, but an anomalously automatically updating archive of “Homestuck: beyond canon” has been added. No other anomalous effects yet found. However, in theory, should the storage required for the complete archive surpass the storage capacity of the USB, it will likely cause some anomalous effect; either a growth in storage on the USB, or some actually harmful effect. As such, the USB will be incinerated once it’s contents are all transferred to a device with MUCH more storage space, then the archive on the new storage medium will be checked to see if it retains its anomalous effects.

//Note: This is going pretty well so far. Next test will be preformed using a mechanism to allow me to do the required actions to effectuate the test while out of range of 914, all personnel will be wearing gas masks (in case 914 decides “Very fine” to mean very fine particles of matter), and we will be behind a plastic safety screen. - I. Freedom//

**Input:** One (1) USB
**Setting:** Very fine
**Output:** The same USB. Instead of the previous files, a copy of the (previously) entirely fictional video game “SBURB” is contained within.

//Note: Why’d I have to jinx it? By the way, for anyone wondering why this is a bad thing, playing SBURB retroactively starts a meteor apocalypse. Might be useful in order to escape a different, non-meteor apocalypse, though. - I. Freedom//

**Addendum:** The last USB, when thrown into the incinerator, was shown to be completely immune to being destroyed.

**Addendum 2:** Attempts to delete the files on the USB were a complete failure until the files were copied onto a computer. Once the files on the USB were deleted, the copy on the computer refused to be deleted too. The files were then copied onto a new USB, the files on the computer were successfully deleted, and the new USB was thrown into the incinerator, which also did not result in the destruction of the USB. SBURB files were successfully encrypted, but the encryption key seems to have inherited the same anomalous immunity to being destroyed.

//Note: Seems the SBURB files are incapable of being made irretrievable. Placed into high security anomalous storage, given higher-ups agree. I’ll be attempting to add an addendum describing SBURB in standard Foundation terminology. - I. Freedom//

**Addendum 3:** SBURB can be considered a --Safe-- Euclid XK-class pataphysical object. The USB currently containing SBURB should be kept in secure storage, since the wrong person getting their hands on it will inevitably result in an XK-Class end of the world scenario, due to SBURB causing a meteor apocalypse on the planet it was played on. Any other information you may need can easily be found on the public internet: I’m not gonna write down how to play SBURB, that’ll just result in a higher chance of an apocalypse if it ends up in the wrong hands.

**Addendum 4:** It has been found that this version of SBURB has a cognito-hazardous effect which results, in exposed personnel who have read at minimum the first act of Homestuck, an increasing desire proportional to time spent “guarding” it to send copies of it to their friends and play it. Notably, Intern Freedom has been found to be immune to this effect, though whether this is due to his lack of friends or an exception applying to only Intern Freedom is currently unknown and necessitates further research.

//Note: By the way, my real name isn’t actually Freedom, the Foundation recruiters were just accepting of me using an alias rather than my real name in Foundation related activities. Also, I don’t know why the effect doesn’t apply to me, though in the former theory I’d probably just be given a desire to start a solo session, though maybe 914 didn’t allow it to impact me due to it wanting to be made into an “upgrade” for the alchemiter. - I. Freedom//

**Addendum 5:** A few hours after the conclusion of the test, an additional page containing a message appeared in a flash of red gears, consistent with the visuals occurring with the use of the aspect of Time for time-travel in the webcomic “Homestuck”. The contents of the message were as follows: 
//Greetings. This piece of paper has been sent back in time by our session’s Time player. We few remaining members of both the foundation and humanity have determined a few things: we (the ones sending this message) are in a doomed timeline, as a result of us not having anywhere near enough grist theoretically available as needed to “win” the game, with our current estimates for necessary amount of players to attain this level of grist currently being in the hundreds of millions. As such, we have decided to advise you: DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO PLAY SBURB UNLESS THERE ARE AT LEAST 500 MILLION PLAYERS ABLE TO BE INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS IN THE CLIENT-SERVER LOOP(which is effectively impossible without a broken veil scenario occuring)! (They must all also be in separate buildings if possible, since for some reason players being in the same building often results in the game not being able to be to be played by these other people in the building, though this (to a limited extent) doesn’t appear to apply to buildings with similar functions to apartments, barracks, hotels, etc.) Signed: -I. Freedom, doomed timeline instance #1.//

-----

**Name:** Dr. Drive
**Date:** 15/06/2025
**Total Items:** Three sheets of paper printed with an excerpt of the SCP-914 experiment log.

**Input:** One aforementioned sheet of paper.
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One sheet of paper printed with "SCP-914: -". When in physical contact with SCP-914, it changes to read "SCP-914: +".

**Input:** One aforementioned sheet of paper.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** One sheet of paper printed with a series of questions relating to SCP-914, such as "Who has activated SCP-914 the highest number of times?", "Measured by weight, what is the material composition of SCP-914?", and "How is SCP-914?". Shortly after completion of all questions, a letter score appears and all questions are graded as correct or incorrect, before all markings eventually vanish. What the proper answer should be for questions marked incorrect is not provided.

//Note: This has got to be one of the worst tests I have ever taken. I think it may currently be impossible to even get a D. - Dr. Drive//

**Input:** One aforementioned sheet of paper.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One sheet of paper printed with this exact experiment.

------

**Name:**Dr.Zhu
**Date:** 12/07/2025
**Total Items:**10 cheap video tapes of the standard Dianshiwang™ REN750 model, containing excerpts from some Chinese TV programs; one blister pack of anti-diarrheal medicine with 3 tablets remaining.

//Note: I stopped by on my way to inspect Site-19 this time. I brought some local specialties from China for 914. - Dr.Zhu//

**Input:**A video tape of the program "Waiting for Me".(A public welfare program that helps abducted children find their relatives.)
**Setting:**1:1
**Output:**A video tape, when played, was found to contain content in which an individual of unknown age and gender, with their face covered and wearing a black cloak, shot and killed a man's wife and daughter with a rifle, then forced him to cry.

Note: //Oh my god. After investigation, I found out that the man who was shot is a producer. The woman and child who were shot in the video tape are exactly his wife and daughter. I'm not sure if this man directed that program, but both this video tape and that program are disgusting. If I have to compare them, that TV program is even more disgusting because it's so contrived. - Dr.Zhu //

**Input:**A video tape of China's "//CCTV News//" dated June 10, 2025, which mainly records key contents of the first half, such as scientific and technological development.
**Setting:**1:1
**Output:**A U.S. video tape dated October 8, 1999, with a total length of 4 minutes and 42 seconds, recording the Y2K problem and the new mayor election.

**Input:**One complete video tape of the program //Lucky Belt of Life//, which mainly tells stories about the families of critically ill patients. Its main theme is "to make people understand that they are bound to face misfortunes and that one should be strong."
**Setting:**1:1
**Output:**One video tape, approximately 16 seconds long, with extremely blurry and shaky image quality. It seems to have been shot covertly, recording a man walking out of a TV tower and then being involved in a car accident.

**Input:**A video tape of "//Mediation Room No. 3 Season//", which mainly tells the story of a family with six or seven children, where the children attempt to murder the elderly (without carrying it out) and fight for the inheritance in the program.
**Setting:**1:1
**Output:**SCP-914 vibrated for about 3 minutes and output a mass of shredded plastic.

**Input:**A video tape recording low-quality cartoons from the children's section of Youtube online TV, with each episode lasting 14 minutes,chance of other stories, including partial clips of //Mengkio's Great Adventure, Dance-girl's Adventure, Tickle Challenge and Magical Girl Transformation.//
**Setting:**1:1
**Output:**A video tape recording [DATA DELETED].

Note://Since the output clearly involves child dismemberment and other things, I now desperately hope that the "input" is not "produced" in our country, thankfully. Regardless, the morale of the site has been severely hit, and 914 has been temporarily closed. And I can't put my other videotapes in there either. I feel uneasy. It seems that it may recognize negative information and make the output even more negative. - Dr.Zhu//

----

**Name:** Researcher A. Jensen
**Date:** 17/07/2025
**Total Items:** Two plastic toy buckets filled with two gallons of tap water each, a yellow plastic toy shovel, Two 100 pound bags of pool filtration sand, a brand new pair of small flip-flops.

//Note: I was finally transferred here! You can just call me Abigail, or Abbey if you like, but Researcher Jensen is fine, too. Because of my sudden transfer here I had to cancel my beach trip, so that is where I got the idea for this test. - Researcher A. Jensen//

**Input:** The items listed
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** An ornate sand castle with the toy shovel stuck in the top of one of the towers, one side of the castle was noticeably destroyed. The flip-flops were on top of the destroyed part of the castle, implying it had been stepped on. The two empty sand bags were crumbled up in the corner of the output chamber.

//Note: Well if it wasn’t for the fact I now have to clean up all this sand, I would be tempted to pull up a lounge chair and take a nap… Wait, where are my buckets?//

**Addendum 1:** At approximately 6:33 PM explicit shouting had been heard in the researchers’ dormitory, The commotion was discovered to be from Jensen, who was found by security standing just past the doorway of her room soaked in water and with one of the missing buckets on her head. The bucket displayed no other anomalous properties and was incinerated by Jensen.

//Note: I found one of the buckets. - Researcher A. Jensen//

**Addendum 2:** Security was called to Jensen’s room shortly before 10 PM, the second missing bucket had been found in her closet, with all the clothes in her closet now being full of sand. Further testing shows all her clothes now have the anomalous properties of always being full of sand no matter how much they have been shaken or turned inside out. All clothing has been incinerated at Jensen’s request.

//Note: Requesting permission to have tomorrow off so I can go into town and get new clothes. - Researcher A. Jensen//
----
**Name:** Researcher L. Owens
**Date:** 30/7/2025
**Total Items:** Three hard drives containing the totality of data from the Serina fan discord in the form of .txt files. 

**Input:** One of the aforementioned drives.
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One flash drive containing an identical fan discord for Nymphicina.

**Input:** One of the aforementioned drives.
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** Similar to the input, but with the data replaced with that of a Serina fan roleplaying server. 

//Note: Requesting permission to read while on break? - Researcher L. Owens//

**Input:** One of the aforementioned drives.
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** A small statuette of an abnormally shaped bird grazing, with the word Snuffalo emblazoned on its base. The statuette possesses a weak memetic effect, compelling people to worship it.

------

**Name:** Junior Researcher Isaiah Sylas
**Date:** 08/08/2025
**Total Items:** 2 measuring tapes, & 1 globe of Earth

**Input:** 1 measuring tape
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** 1 measuring tape capable of accurately measuring down to the nanometer range.

**Input:** 1 measuring tape
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** The measuring tape has gained the anomalous property to always have the exact length of whatever is being measured or the exact length that is to be marked down somewhere.

**Input:** 1 globe of Earth
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** The globe could not be turned & half of the globe was lit up, as if a light source was hitting it. It was later determined to be a live view of Earth. The illuminated side of Earth is facing Earth's axial north. The angle of the globe was also accurate to the current season.

**Addendum:** When attempting to measure the circumference of the Earth at the equator, the numbers on the tape itself would change to correct for scale. The final number at the end has yet to stop at a concrete number. Slow-motion recordings of over 4800 frames per second has not visually slowed the changes. The current approximated circumference of Earth is between 40,073,014.523297624 meters & 40,078,722.103459942 meters.

------

**Name:** Guest Doctor Mackerel
**Date:** 12/08/2025
**Total Items:** 24 cans of Dr. Pepper brand soda 

**Input:** 24 cans of Dr. Pepper
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A 25 cm tall elephant made out of aluminum, it raised its trunk and proceeded to spray 8.5 liters of Dr Pepper brand soda. 

//Note: The following test was unauthorized.//

**Input:** A Foundation issued radio transmitter/receiver and a note reading "[[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-212-upgrade-log|Please give me something to be able to talk again]]]". 
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** A glowing sphere supported on a black metallic frame similar to the lure of an anglerfish. Dr. Mackerel grabbed it, causing it to stretch and attach itself to the top of his crystal dome. 

At this point site security arrived, and Dr. Mackerel willingly surrendered himself. 

Observation while in custody showed that the device allowed Dr. Mackerel to retransmit his thoughts in the form of radiowaves and receive incoming waves into Dr. Mackerel's mind. 

//Note: I'm very disappointed Mackerel. You better be prepared to clean the entirety of [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6222|Site-6222]]] when you return. - Site Director [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-527|Fish]]]//

------

**Name:** Junior Researcher Iron
**Date:** 13/08/2025
**Total Items:** 15 pineapple flavored Hasbro brand gummy bears

**Input:** 3 gummy bears
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One large gummy bear that contains the mass of three gummy bears

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note containing “Could I get strawberry?”
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** 3 small strawberry shaped gummies. Flavor revealed to be pineapple.

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note containing “Could I get strawberry flavor?”
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** 3 gummy bears with strawberry coloration, flavor revealed to be watermelon.

**Input:** 3 gummy bears
**Setting:** fine
**Output:** 1 anomalous gummy bear that was shaped like a brown bear. Instance was quickly terminated by a security officer when it began moving.

**Input:** 3 gummy bears
**Setting:** very fine
**Output:** Instances resembling that of [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2545 SCP-2545], instances were quickly neutralized and incinerated, it is unknown where they were trying to bring the objects they grabbed.

------

**Name:** Junior Researcher Iron
**Date:** 14/08/2025
**Total Items:** 15 pineapple flavored Hasbro brand gummy bears, five notes reading ”Could I get strawberry flavor?”

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** 3 gummy bears, flavor revealed to be orange, one note reading “try again.” along with a small image  of an error symbol

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One note encased in gummy material, the note contains a drawn image of strawberry fields. The flavor was still pineapple.

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** one origami lemon, the inside was filled with pineapple flavored squares.

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:**  ten gummy letters that when rearranged, spelt the word strawberry. Flavor was pineapple.

**Input:** 3 gummy bears, one note
**Setting:** fine
**Output:** 3 gummy bears, one note, D-class was instructed to pick up the note. The note contained a cognito hazard that caused him to think that everything was strawberry flavored. D-class was restrained when they attempted to eat SCP-914

------

**Name:** Junior researcher Iron
**Date:** 15/08/2025
**Total Items:** --15-- 3 pineapple flavored Hasbro brand gummy bears, --5-- 1 note reading “could i get orange flavor?”

**Input:** 3 gummy bears
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** 3 strawberry flavored gummy bears.


Note: at this point, JR Iron became agitated, and requested to be put on temporary leave.

------

**Name:** Intern Karlsen
**Date:** 16/08/2025
**Total Items:** Bag of cafeteria waste and a paper slip

**Input:** Bag of cafeteria waste and a paper slip stating "Please make this edible"
**Setting:** very fine
**Output:** 50% larger bag of cafeteria waste by volume.  Testers appeared to show very high interest in consuming it, regardless of palette or regard for what food they normally can or will consume

Note: Intern Karlsen was rendered temporarily hospitalized by output, peanut allergy.

"Normally I'd tell you to stop eating dubious food, but you weren't exactly in the wrong this time. Still dumb. I thought they taught you not to eat random foodstuffs in training? Or was it because somebody put the training manual in 914 again?" - Senior Researcher O Marx

Addendum: output later confirmed to be edible on technicality. Though testers heavily disliked most samples of the output, despite being universally eager

------
**Name:** Senior Researcher O Marx (accompanied by Researcher Karldottïr)
**Date:** 16/8/2025
**Total Items:** A pirated copy of a One Piece DVD (episodes 1-26).[[footnote]]One Piece is an anime prominently fearuring pirates, written by Eiichiro Oda and animated by Toei Animation.[[/footnote]], a copy of 1984 by George Orwell (uncensored), a pair of broken shoes owned by Researcher Karldottïr (home-made, worth roughly $20 in today's money).

**Input:** A pirated copy of a One Piece DVD (ep. 1-26)
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A pirated copy of a One Piece DVD (ep. 1-53)

When the DVD is watched for any amount of time, the observer believed they were a 1770s era pirate and had a compulsive urge to steal and hijack nautical vessels. This effect has yet to stop, though may not be indefinite. Persists in Amnesticised subjects.

Note: Affected personnel have been banned from sites and missions near ports, canals, lakes, (and other sites involving boats and/or bodies of water) for safety reasons.


Comment: "6 perfectly good sailors, gone to waste. I suppose I'll have them retrained in something more fitting starting Sunday." - Senior Researcher O Marx




**Input:** A copy of 1984 by George Orwell (uncensored)
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** A complete sequel to 1984 named 1994. The book has no Author and follows an amateurish but original more action/romcom -oriented plotline following the protagonists, Winston and Julia. Notably, Winston is still alive with little to no explanation.

It does a mediocre job of explaining IngSoc's collapse, but does not quite grasp the core themes of 1984 and goes on a couple action-oriented tangents -  however, the penmanship is still high quality enough to have an enjoyable story.

The book has been confirmed to be unanomalous.

Note: "Is it just unable to grasp the themes or is it writing intentionally mediocre fanfiction due to being bored?" - Researcher Karldottïr



**Input:** A pair of broken shoes (home-made) (~$20 dollars in today's money)
**Setting:** Fine
**Output:** 4000 legitimate cheques for $0.01

Note: "Great... My bank is definitely going to be fine with me asking for 4000 individual pennies." - Researcher Karldottïr

Note: Researcher Karldottïr was later recompensated with a bonus $30 pay check as well as a pair of brand new shoes.

Note: "Are these even large enough for the che

------
**Name:** JR Iron
**Date:** 17/08/2025
**Total Items:** One note, --four-- three pounds worth of wood, --four-- three pounds worth of steel, --four-- three pounds worth of copper.

Note reads: “I forgot to do this during my first few tests, so I’ll do it now. Hello 914, I’m Junior Researcher Iron, and I look forward to working with you.”

**Input:** One note
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** a drawing of JR Iron eating a bowl of strawberries.

Note: I have decided to do something I haven’t seen in previous tests, and have the dial put in between different settings

**Input:** 1 pound of wood, 1 pound of steel, 1 pound of copper
**Setting:** --coarse-rough-- coarse
**Output:** pile of sawdust , Steel and copper shavings.

Note: when attempting to activate the machine, the dial turned by itself to the Coarse setting, for the following tests a D-class was instructed to hold the dial in place.

**Input:** 1 pound of wood, 1 pound of steel, 1 pound of copper
**Setting:** Coarse-rough
**Output:** There was a pause of around half a minute before the output doors opened. Piles of sawdust and metal shavings along with chunks of wood, steel, and copper.

Note: The D-class reported that the dial was attempting to turn beneath their fingers


**Input:** 1 pound of wood, 1 pound of steel, 1 pound of copper
**Setting:** --rough-1:1– Fine
**Output:** After two minutes of silence, the D-class’s fingers were both damaged as the dial forcibly spun to the fine setting, and in the output booth was a small sculpture that contained a cognitive hazard causing anyone who saw it to attempt to slap JR Iron. Object contained and incinerated.

------
**Name:** Professor Arlo San Santos
**Date:** 17/08/2025
**Total Items:**  --151-- 1 Foundation-supplied low grade gluestick. (diameter 3cm)

**Input:** Foundation-supplied low grade gluestick.
**Setting:** Very Fine [[footnote]]accident on behalf of D-Class, intended to set to fine[[/footnote]]
**Output:** Glue of nonexistent brand labelled "183 Trillion Pintos Points!", upside down. [[footnote]]Pintos Points is not a real measurement as of recording.[[/footnote]]
Identical container shape to input.

The Lid is missing, thus the gluestick had to be removed by the decontamination team.

Container successfully dissolved and subsequently cleared from 914. Glue still stuck to 914. It has proven to resist all efforts from foundation equipment to remove it, as well as various acids, bases and common enzymes. Appears to have too high melting and boiling points to not risk damaging 914.

Decontamination --still ongoing, usage of 914 is unable to continue as of current time.-- (Finished: 19/8/2025)

Destruction test: D-Class

D-class exerted great effort, before promptly giving up and requesting to return to cell, accepted (accompanied by guard)

Destruction Test: Hydraulic floor crane, slightly modified to have vice grip on glue, assisted by foundation drone. 

Hydraulic Floor Crane slightly cracked the output, internal motor broke, wire snapped. 

(cut for brevity)

Note: "This thing tore our equipment apart, why did a single gluestick cause so much financial damage?! We had to make a new model of compact construction crane just to break it! At least scraping the remainder off wasn't too hard. Forgoing 100 gluesticks test."

addendum: Glue proved to be single-use after further testing. Analysis confirms the glue is nonanomalous, but the glue's components and theoretical manufacturing process are yet to be identified.

Further Research on reproducing the glue requested. (Denied, budget issues, the glue is too expensive to replicate in batches, let alone en masse. The glue is also clearly too difficult to work with. - O5-4 )

-----

**Name:** Dr. Jeremiah Simpson
**Date:** 15/9/25
**Total Items:** One copy of a People magazine, dated 12/5/25, one 5x5 decimeter card stock card.

**Input:** The aforementioned magazine.
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** --PORN-- A magazine containing women devoid of any clothing. The magazine contains anti-memetic properties, as no description of the magazine exists, other than the word “PORN”.

**Input:** --PORN-- The aforementioned magazine.
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** 30 pieces of paper. The top one reads, “you really want more PORN, don’t you?”. The other 29 pieces of paper were blank.

**Input:** The aforementioned pieces of paper, a card stock note that reads: “please. No more pornographic materials.”
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** Same result as before, except for the fact that the top piece of paper contained a QR code and the following “Please give to Dr. Frank Jacob VI.”

Note: The QR code contained a subscription to my FAVORITE magazine - three years, all for free! - Dr. Jacob

Note: What kind of magazine? - Dr. Nimona

Note: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Private stuff. - Dr. Jacob
 
-----

**Name:** Assistant researcher Helios
**Date:** 05/11/25
**Total Items:** --Five-- --Four-- Three pairs of wired headphones

//Note: I lost two of them on the way here, but this should still work -Assistant Researcher Helios//

**Intake:** One pair of headphones
**Setting:** Rough
**Output:** An amalgamation of melted plastic, along with a pile of nickel, copper, neodymium, and other metals melted together.

**Intake:** One pair of headphones
**Setting:** Coarse
**Output:** One pair of wired headphones, with many dents. They are impossibly tangled up. 

//Note: Assistant Researcher Helios attempted to untangle them for about 2 hours before giving up, claiming they were impossible to untangle.//

**Intake:** One pair of headphones, tangled. 
**Setting:** 1:1
**Output:** One pair of headphones. The ear parts have been replaced with headphone jacks, and where the headphone jack was is now an ear piece. 

//Note: Assistant Researcher Helios attempted to try to use and test them. They do not work.// 

**Intake:** One pair of headphones
**Setting:** Very Fine
**Output:** One pair of black wired headphones. Assistant Researcher Helios tried them out, and they commented on how much higher quality the headphones sounded than then intake. 

//Note: Even music I absolutely hate sounds amazing with these. Permission to keep these? -Assistant Researcher Helios//

**It's been a damn long while since I've done this, so I'm going to be rusty, but if this place is going to be abandoned by everyone else who can do this I might as well be the old maiden, tending to an abandoned shrine or some other poetic shit. I have some crit for your piece.**
**Your Rough entry is normal, and your Course entry is kind of interesting, while your 1:1 works as well. My one nitpick with these is that I believe the Foundation would use a D-Class to try and untangle the wires, or try to use the headphones. After all, who knows if they're potentially dangerous? However, your Very Fine is simply a direct change for the better, which is not very characteristic of 914, and also from a log perspective not that interesting. But without that entry (meaning a VF), I don't think your test would do well. I recommend you rework it. In addition, you're not going to keep a VF output. No matter how benign it might seem, it's far too risky. One final thing is that your date is wrong. Use the date you wrote that on. I changed it to yesterday's date. Thanks!**
**P.S. fixed a spelling error**
**-Emi (DrIbarazaki)**

-----

+++++ Hey you, sandbox editor! See that little thing down in the bottom right corner? That's a special sandbox editing module! Use it to copy and paste common templates, such as redaction boxes or coloured text! 

[[include :scp-sandbox-3:component:koops-914-module]]

SCP-914 Experiment Log Sandbox

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