Link to article: Personnel File: Zolgamax Jones.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Name:** Zolgamax Jones **Position:** Archivist **Current Assignment:** Archive filing, organization **No. of Formal Complaints Submitted by Employee:** 237 [[collapsible show="Display selected complaints: Employee Name" hide="Hide selected complaints"]] **Date:** 03/01/1985 **Complaint synopsis:** Employee disappointed at misfiling of name. **Complaint excerpt:** //"Though I generally enjoy the work environment, I must say that it's off-putting to be called three different names while assisting a procedure, all of them incorrect."// **Analysis:** Justified. Examination of personnel file reveals employee's full name to be "Zelda Olga Mackenzie Jones". Further examination reveals that this fact that not been noted on any other forms, files, or similar materials. **Response:** Employee is to be addressed by correct name in all official contexts. **Date:** 03/08/1985 **Complaint Synopsis:** Employee disappointed at treatment of name. **Complaint Excerpt:** //"It was bad enough knowing that my parents wanted three girls and got a single boy instead. It was bad enough going through high school with three girls' names. I had hoped that I might have found a bit of respite from ridicule at my place of employment. Instead, I find myself continually snickered at [...]"// **Analysis:** Justified. Ridicule of employee occurs with frequency, according to supervisor testimonies. **Response:** Offending employees are to be informed of improper conduct. **Date:** 03/09/1985 **Complaint Synopsis:** Employee disappointed at Foundation response to previous complaint. **Complaint Excerpt:** //"I'm not sure what the best solution would have been. [...] I'm relatively sure it would not have included broadcasting the statement "Zelda Olga Mackenzie is not a funny name" over the Site-19 loudspeaker system at ninety-minute intervals."// **Analysis:** Not justified. **Response:** N/A **Date:** 03/12/1985 **Complaint Synopsis:** Petition for formal documentation change. **Complaint Excerpt:** //"Look, just have the documents shorten my name or something, OK? "Z" or "Max" or even just a single female name like "Olga" would be better than my full one."// **Analysis:** Justified and reasonable. **Response:** All of employee's suggestions taken into account. Name shortened to "Z. Olga Max Jones" and subsequently condensed to "Zolgamax Jones" due to supervisor consensus that the former was "too wordy". Employee's name legally changed to avoid further incident. This line of complaint officially closed. [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="Display selected complaints: Miscellaneous" hide="Hide selected complaints"]] **Date:** 03/09/1992 **Complaint Synopsis:** Intolerable food accommodations. **Complaint Excerpt** //"Furthermore, I'm not sure how the coffee manages to be so consistently lukewarm. I've tried it at every time of day, and [...]"// **Analysis:** Not justified. **Response:** N/A **Date:** 05/19/1999 **Complaint Synopsis:** Insufficient medical care provided to employee **Complaint Excerpt:** //"The question of how that thing got out of containment aside, it fractured my leg in three places and when I went to the infirmary they gave me a Band-Aid and told me to 'suck it up'. "// **Analysis:** Not justified. After consulting with Foundation medical practitioners, it was decided that the employee in question should "walk it off". **Response:** N/A **Date:** 11/30/2001 **Complaint Synopsis:** Intolerable food accommodations. **Complaint Excerpt:** //"[...] asked for strawberry, and this is CLEARLY grape [...]"// **Analysis:** Not justified. **Response:** N/A [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="Display selected complaints: Current Assignment" hide="Hide selected complaints"]] **Date:** 08/27/2003 **Complaint Synopsis:** Work space suffered significant loss of integrity. **Complaint Excerpt:** //"Describe what happened? A goddamn sinkhole opened up under my cubicle is what happened! I'm standing in it now, yelling up at you!"// **Analysis:** Justified. Observation of employee work space revealed that a large portion of the floor had caved in, providing access to a previously-inaccessible archives room belonging to the defunct ASCII headquarters above which Site-19 is constructed. **Response:** Employee reassigned to archiving object files in newly discovered area for Foundation use. **Date:** 08/27/2003 **Complaint Synopsis:** Intolerable working conditions. **Complaint Excerpt:** //"The issue should be obvious! I'm stuck at the bottom of a thirty-foot hole! I couldn't submit archive reports even if I wanted to [...]"// **Analysis:** Justified. Observation of employee work space confirmed that employee was rendered unable to submit necessary paperwork. **Response:** Pulley system erected to maneuver paperwork and other necessary materials to and from employee work space. [[/collapsible]] **Note:** Due to the astronomical number of complaints submitted by Mr. Zolgamax Jones, many of them inane, the aforementioned employee is hereby forbidden from submitting any further input of this nature. All lines of complaint concerning Jones are to be considered officially closed. - //Site-19 Director S. Richards, 08/27/2003// **Notable anomalies archived by employee include:** [[[SCP-2605]]] - The Caretaker [[[SCP-3403]]] - Summer Dogs **Accounts of note uncovered by employee include:** [[[A Disturbance]]] [[[http://scp-wiki.net/project-proposal-2004-024 | Project Proposal 2004-024: "My Father's Values"]]] [[[Birth by Guitar]]] [[[The Ballad of Region 352]]] [[[That's the Spirit!]]] [[[Where Bad Children Go]]] [[[Dossier - FSF Delivery]]] **Fragmented text uncovered by employee may be viewed in:** [[[Cavalcade Hub]]] (poem) [[[SCP-4002-J]]] - Curd of Prey (numerous puns) [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]